Busman's Holiday
by Stretch Snodgrass
Summary: Benny invites Ethan and Rory to spend two weeks with him at his mother and maternal grandmother's house in Toronto. The three have a good time . . . until they run into a trio of powerful vampires, furious that Whitechapel is now free of the undead. Fourth in a series, starting with "The End of the Beginning". Reviews appreciated.
1. Immortal Terror

**Immortal Terror**

Ethan hadn't expect that _this_ was the way he was going to die. Held in a virtual choke hold by an angry vampire, and suspended nearly 1000 feet over Toronto's Gardiner Expressway. The tallest skyscrapers of Canada's largest city and Ontario's capital lay just below Ethan to the north. That is, except for the CN Tower, which still stabbed into the murky summer sky hundreds of feet into the sky above his head. Far, far, below Ethan the cars streaked along the elevated highway like so many illuminated ants.

That angry vamp was levitating effortlessly. Whatever strength the bloodsucker was using to hold up Ethan must have been infinitesimal; while gravity didn't seem to affect _the bloodsucker_ , Ethan was suspended in the air like a rag doll and gasping for breath. The only weapon Ethan had on him was his ultra-violet light sabre in a scabbard on his side, now with a new retractable blade.

But it was useless. Ethan had barely the strength to breath, much less pull out the weapon. And even if he did use it, and succeeded, Ethan knew all it meant for him was a quick death on the pavement far below.

Ethan's best friend Benny was being held a short distance away, and a short distance below. _His_ bloodsucker had tied him up with rope and given the spell master the indignity of being treated like an airborne, human yoyo, jolted up and down. Benny's face was as pasty white as his captor and Benny's pupils rolled confusedly about in his eyeballs. His light sabre was also hanging uselessly in his scabbard.

"So, loser" said Benny's captor, "before I drop you how about you teach me one of your magic tricks before I kill you?"

Benny put down the urge to retch and, with great effort, muttered "You're not a spell master and you're un-dead. _No way_ you can do magic. _No way_ I'd want to tell you."

Rory was being held upside down like the catch of the day, a little below the other two. The ex-vampire had the privilege, if you can call it that, of looking directly at the highway far below. All the better to focus his mind on the _splat_ he'd make if (and when?!) he were dropped onto the pavement far below. Rory was quaking like a blender.

The third vampire practically hissed into Rory's ear "Bet you could wish you could still fly!"

"J-J-Just don't h-h-urt my pals and y-y-y-y-you can d-drop me n-n-n-n-now" stuttered Rory, though he meant every word. "B-but I'd s-sooner d-die t-than be a b-b-bloodsucker again."

"If it weren't so much time and trouble I'd turn you again" said the vamp, "just so you'll die like one of us, impaled through the heart with your own light sabre, and your body burning quickly to a crisp. But you're not worth biting, you'd taste so sickening. A greasy teenage boy. Even worse than those unprepared specimens I've been forced to dine on since your lot exiled me from my quality Whitechapel _place de cuisine_."

"You're such a gourmet" jeered Benny's persecutor.

"Well seer!" said the first vampire with a fanged grin, that is to say the bloodsucker with Ethan by the choke-hold. "Maybe we can't get anything useful from your friends. But a vision of my future or some prognostications into how we'll set up a new vampire council _here_? That'll be useful!"

Ethan wasn't going to give them _that_. His last act alive wasn't going to help the bloodsuckers get the same hold over Toronto that they used to have over Whitechapel. And even though he was terrified, Ethan was gratified neither of his friends would give an inch either. So, with what _seemed_ like his last breath Ethan forced out his answer.

"NO WAY. NOT if MY LIFE DEPENDED ON IT."

"It doesn't" said the bloodsucker evenly. "I intend to kill you anyway. But first I'll shake some information out of you before I let you end up as a splat on the pavement. A splat that will be a mystery to most people. But a splat that for us will demonstrate that we vampires had our revenge for our Whitechapel defeat."

The bloodsucker did as he had threatened, literally shaking Ethan in midair. But Ethan wasn't going to give any information unwillingly. While Ethan's seer abilities were sometimes beyond _his_ control, his visions were never under the direct command of a bloodsucker. So while Ethan's pupils dilated, and his eyeballs shone bright in the night sky, all Ethan saw were his memories of the events leading up to _this_.

* * *

 **Author's Note**

This story is fourth in a series starting from "The End of the Beginning" (which takes up the moment where "The Date to End All Dates Part II" leaves off), followed by "Ethan to the Future" (the immediate sequel to "The End of the Beginning"), and "Good v. Evil; or, Some Assembly Required".

Thanks to everyone who has read or added these stories to their favourites or follows list. Any and all reviews are greatly appreciated.


	2. Benny's License

**Benny's License**

If you live in a village, town or small city in Ontario, there's one thing you've absolutely got to do on your sixteenth birthday. Absolutely one thing practically everybody does. Take your driver's test and try to get your G1 license.

That is, unless you're unlucky enough to have your birthday fall on the weekend. Then you'll have to wait until the following Monday. That was what happened to Benny Weir. He had to wait a frustrating two days. But Monday finally came, Benny passed his written test, won his temporary G1 license, and was showing the green and white paper off to Ethan via the web cam in his room.

"And to celebrate, this and my sixteenth birthday" Benny said, "guess who's gonna be spending two weeks with my mom and my other grandma in Toronto?"

"I'm guessing you" joked Ethan.

"No buddy" said Benny. "Us. You, me, Rory. My mom's gotta work, you know she's a tour guide and this is still her busy time of year. And you know my mom's mom? She's _really_ nice, as in a nice old lady. But she acts like an old lady, not like my grandma here. She'll be keeping the base camp most of the time, warning us to stay safe when we go out most mornings. Lucky she doesn't know what kind of trouble you can . . . . or when the bloodsuckers were here, _could_ . . . find in Whitechapel. Mom knows, Grandma doesn't.

"I remember your grandma" said Ethan, thinking back. Not only being Benny's best friend, but living next door as well, Ethan had known Benny's mother and even seen Benny's maternal grandmother a few times.

"So it will be really us three guys, the biggest city in the country at our fingertips."

"It can't be more exciting than Whitechapel!" said Ethan with a grin.

"Ethan, dude" Benny explained, "you've go to come. It'll be _ordinary_ excitement. The type you go for. All the city attractions. I mean, of course we'll start with Mom's tour. But she can get us all the tickets to all the major sites. The _IMAX_ theatre, the beaches full of chicks. I mean, at least I think the city has beaches full of chicks this time of year? I mean, a city of a few millions? We're sure to go up to Canada's _Wonderland_. More chicks in bikinis up there, and roller coasters too. It's a little too science-y, for summer vacation, but . . . there's the _Ontario Science Centre_. Even though hockey season hasn't started, there's still the _Blue Jays_. We can't spend time in Toronto without watching some Major League baseball."

"Benny I was just joking . . . ." tried Ethan.

"And us guys deserve a reward for the _total pawning of the bloodsuckers_ two months ago" said Benny. "Plus, me, I deserve something for having my sixteenth birthday and earning my license. You, for you and Sarah _finally_ being an item. And Rory for shaking off un-death after two years, and being a full human teammate in the fight against evil monsters."

"Not to mention the one _platinum-clad_ takeaway I had from that wonky vision six weeks ago" Ethan noted. "Sarah and Rory never being bloodsuckers again, and us two being fang-free for life."

"I couldn't imagine you or me un-dead" Benny observed jocularly. "I know you were almost did in that one time, but I just can't see you or me with yellow eyes and fangs."

"No kidding Benny" said Ethan. "But I wasn't arguing. The trip sounds great. As soon as I get my parents' approval, I'm with you and Rory. Okay, two weeks of nonstop Rory . . . but there's no way we could leave our buddy behind.

"Yeah, I know" said Benny. "It'll be sort of a like a half-way through high school victory lap. Rory's so excited, he's already gone and got us _Single Tear_ tickets. They're playing in Toronto."

"Single Tear?" groaned Ethan. "I hate those guys. Okay, yeah, I guess I can stand one concert for Rory. Especially since he already bought the tickets.

"A lot of babes go for them" shrugged Benny. "They'll also be playing at the _Air Canada Centre_! Plus, babes."

"You've really got girls on the brain today" Ethan observed, then added conceitedly "I guess if Sarah and I weren't dating, I'd be obsessed too."

Ethan realized that Benny had a point. Whitechapel had 30,000 people. Toronto had over 2,700,000. That was a lot of girls!

"Dude" Benny retorted. "You've been so out-of-your-mind over Sarah you've barely had a chance to look at another girl. Ever since you first bumped into Sarah in the school cafeteria two years ago. Either then, or when she came to your door that night. It's just too bad, buddy, _it nearly took you two years to ask her out_."

"Well, uh, it was timing, Benny. Just waiting for the right timing" Ethan lied embarrassedly.

Ethan was confident that he wouldn't have to wait for the right time to ask his parents to go. There was no way they'd stand in the way of an awesome vacation (although they'd insist on him bringing along a gift to Benny's mother and grandmother). But wait! Why should just Ethan and Rory be invited along? After all, Sarah was a friend of Benny's too. And really, shouldn't all of the new, improved, de-vamped, monster-hunting Team SAbre (Sarah, Benny, Rory and Ethan) go? And how could he, Ethan, leave his girlfriend of two months _for an entire two weeks_?

Ethan's mother and father were relaxing in the living room, bantering about a dinner Ethan's dad's insurance company was throwing that night in appreciation of its long-suffering Whitechapel adjusters and agents. Seems as if no bloodsuckers in town meant a sudden decrease in insurance claims.

Ethan's parents were supportive of the trip, with Ethan's mother, as expected, wondering what to send to Mrs. Fishbein in appreciation (Benny Weir's grandmother). Ethan's father even slapped Ethan on the back (almost hard enough to stagger Ethan) and asked him if he was looking forward to a "guy trip".

Their tune changed as soon as Ethan mentioned his idea of suggesting Benny invite Sarah.

"So, Ethan" asked his mother, with disbelief, "you're going to ask your friend, to ask his mother and grandmother, _to invite your girlfriend over to their house_ for two weeks. So you won't miss her and she won't miss you?"

"When you put it like that it sounds wonky" Ethan admitted. "But you know Sarah's also friends with Benny and Rory."

"Come with me, Ethan" said his father, looking entertained "I think I need to explain something to you."

Ethan sat at his new executive-size desk listening to his father's man-to-man talk. The main take away was that it was okay for a boy and girl to spend time apart. Especially since Ethan was only sixteen. Especially since they could text, instagram, video-chat, email, or even just phone. Especially since Sarah _might_ not enjoy listening to two weeks of sci-fi, comic book and gamer references, while watching Benny try to ask out any of the numerous girls that would inevitably catch his eye. 


	3. Monday Night Date Night

**Monday Night Date Night**

With Ethan's parents away at the company dinner, Sarah had come over to babysit Ethan's sister Jane. Even after all this time, Ethan still found the situation a little embarrassing. But after all, it wasn't _him_ who was being babysat! And anyway, what was _really going on_ , or so Ethan told himself, was he was just having his girlfriend over to keep tabs on his little sister. Perfectly natural! Perfectly cool!

As Sarah was taking karate, Jane was eager to try to learn some of the moves for herself. And Ethan, in spite of his _extreme_ bad luck with all sports, figured it couldn't hurt. And for about a half-an-hour he was right. _Then_ Ethan volunteered to have Jane practice a couple newly learned kicks and karate chops, while he used a couple blocks Sarah demonstrated. Wow, did Ethan ever like how Sarah had moved his hands into the proper position when he wasn't getting it _just_ right.

Unfortunately, as Jane tried a shin kick on Ethan's right leg, Jane mis-aimed her move around Ethan's block. Jane struck too high, and too far to the left, paying Ethan a very low blow.

"Not cool" gasped Ethan.

While Jane sometimes liked to tease her older brother, there was teasing and there was this. Jane loved her brother, and there of course was the fact that Ethan had saved her life a couple times. The upshot was that Jane brought Ethan some marshmallows and root beer; that is once Ethan had walked off, or rather limped off, the pain.

"It's just me and sports" said Ethan, with an abashed grin now that it was all over. "We don't mix, unless I'm watching in the arena or playing _Ultimate Hockey 4_."

Ethan looked at Sarah, feeling that he had made a total fool of himself in front of her. But she wasn't at all disgusted. Sarah's eyes were, as she had once said of Ethan's own, dark and brown and sincere. As for the rest of her, the hottest girl in Whitechapel in Ethan's _considered_ opinion, his crush on Sarah hadn't eased one bit since he first ran into her in the school cafeteria. "Oh Yeah" had played in Ethan's head when Sarah first came to his door, it still played on occasions like tonight. Really, you couldn't call it a crush. As corny as it sounded, Ethan now felt that it was "love at first sight".

Yeah, love! Not just Ethan lusting after her. With Sarah, beauty wasn't skin deep. What was there not to like? Her toughness, her consideration, her sense of humour, her smarts, her sense of fun, her heroism. Nice but naughty with a heart that's pure. Just for me.

"Relax, Ethan" said Sarah, interrupting Ethan's train of thought. "You didn't make a fool of yourself, not any more than any other guy would."

"Before you get carried away" warned Jane, "wait until you hear what Ethan's been building up his courage to tell you!"

Janes smiled craftily. She knew that spilling the beans would annoy Ethan . . . but she doubted it would actually ruin his relationship with Sarah. Funny how her brother could more easily build up his courage to fight a monster than risk rejection or insult from Sarah!

"I think I could have brought it up on my own" said Ethan, as he sighed resignedly. "Okay, Sarah. I had a call from Benny . . . ."

Sarah thought it was unbelievably sweet of Ethan to want to take her along on Benny's vacation to Toronto. Not to mention his sincere fear that she'd be hurt!

"I intend to go" said Ethan, almost apologetically. "Is that okay with you? I mean it sounds like real fun, us guys all hanging out and seeing the all of Hogtown's sights? But I don't want to abandon you here . . . ."

Abandoning her!?

"Ethan" said Sarah, with a broad smile on her face . . . in fact, she almost laughed, though she didn't as that would definitely hurt him. "We're dating, we're not married. Your dad's right, your sixteen and I'm seventeen. A guy trip's okay. And even married, older guys leave their wives to have them . . . not to mention us girls _also_ like to go on girl trips of our own."

Nevertheless, Sarah loved Ethan's sincerity, no matter how awkwardly expressed.

"Let's say I did go" said Sarah, painting the mental picture in her head. "As your dad said, while Benny, Rory and you were talking, say, the Hulk . . . ."

"We hate the Hulk" Ethan pointed out. "As Rory says, he's a big green doofus in purple short shorts.

"Okay, focus , Ethan" said Sarah, now laughing outright, "while you guys want to talk comics, I'll be sitting alone with no idea what geek stuff you're speaking about. And let's say I go. You're not going to want to do a lot of the things I want to do?"

"I like doing the things you like to do" Ethan said. "I mean, I'm not really that into art, but we just went to the Whitechapel Art Gallery last week? And we had a good time. I even think I understood what some of those abstracts meant."

"And the time you signed up for that play" said Sarah appreciatively. "Even though you told me you were a science geek, not a theatre geek. But think about it this way! This isn't us two doing things together. What if I were going on a trip with Erica for a couple weeks. And you had to hang around while we talked girl stuff?"

Ethan gave a low whistle of surprise. Now it dawned on him.

"Point taken" he admitted gawkily. "Guess I can be pretty dense about these things."

"At least you can admit it" said Sarah.

Jane decided to help her brother move on (she still owed him!) by abruptly putting one of Ethan's favourite mint-condition toy robots onto the coffee table.

"Do you still want to ask her?" prompted Jane.

"Thanks" said Ethan. "Sarah, this is one of my favourites. This is a famous movie robot, called "Robbie the Robot".

"Not from one of those low budget fifties sci-fi movies?" asked Sarah.

"No, from a high-budget, Eastman Color, Vista-Vision fifties sci-fi movie starring Ann Francis, Leslie Neilsen . . . who was Canadian you know . . . and Walter Pidgeon. It's called _Forbidden Planet_."

"Sounds forbidding" said Sarah dryly.

Still, she listened to Ethan's excited sales pitch and agreed to watch the movie with him. And it was actually fun to watch! Better than _Jacuzzi Time Machine_ in Sarah's opinion. And she could see why Ethan loved the movie. It had everything his geeky heart loved. A benevolent robot, a hot girl, a giant machine, a lost alien civilization, space travel, a massive explosion, and the triumph of brains over brawn. Not necessarily in that order.

Sarah maliciously thought of suggesting to Erica that they watch the movie together sometime! Sarah wasn't a seer but she could imagine what Erica would say about watching an ancient science fiction film! But, after all, Sarah had never paid Erica back for sabotaging her first date with Ethan!

Anyway, Sarah liked the fact that she could often enjoy the things Ethan liked. And Ethan was always ready to leave "Planet Ethan" to join her in the things she loved! This wasn't to mention all the things that they both enjoyed. Sarah supposed Ethan wasn't classically handsome, but _there was_ something about him.

Neither was Ethan traditionally romantic. But Ethan made up for it with his earnestness, his sincerity, his heroism, and his dedication to fighting for good . . . even on behalf of those who insulted or even mocked him. Ethan's dedication to upholding the right made him sort-of-a Mountie without a uniform. Yes, that would be what Ethan was. Never mind the light sabre. In spirit, Ethan was all red serge uniform and Stetson hat. And that was romantic, in the really, really, old school sense!

Sarah had known and regretted knowing the guys in her life who spouted poetry. The guy she met in her art class dumped her as soon as he saw her beat up some zombies, back when she had been a vampire and Lotta Latte's customers had been zombies. And that guy was the best of the lot! There was Hottie Hotep, who romanced her just so he could drag her down to the underworld. And, of course, there was Jesse.

But why was she wasting her time thinking of _him_? Jesse's yellowed, decayed bones had been buried the week before in a grave without a name. Carbon dating had shown the skeleton to be over two-hundred years old. The skeleton of the little old woman found nearby was aged at least a full five-hundred years. What those old bones were doing near the ruins of the long-forsaken Masonic Lodge was more than anyone could say. Why the bones were clothed and what ghoulish individual clothed them was also unknown. As for why the neo-gothic building exploded was likewise a mystery; a gas leak was the Fire Marshal's theory.

Sarah knew the answers, as did Ethan, Benny, Rory and Erica. But none had any interest in telling; none could tell without answering a lot of embarrassing questions. As far as Sarah was concerned, that was a chapter in her life that was thankfully closed. But, she supposed, for quite a while she'd be reminded of it from time to time. And that's what that happened that night . . . but in a good way.

When Ethan's parents returned, Samantha Morgan suggested she take a photo of the two together. After all, the Morgans had known Sarah for two years and didn't really have a picture of her.

"I'd love to, Mrs. Morgan" Sarah said appreciatively. "How about one with both Jane and Ethan, one with Jane and one with Ethan?"

Sarah _loved_ having her picture taken. It was one of the small things in life she had missed.

The Sarah-Ethan picture was saved for last. Ethan's arm around her shoulder, the teens' ear-to-ear grins, it was destined to be a favourite.

"Bet you're _really_ happy to have your picture taken with Sarah, huh Ethan?" suggested Ross Morgan, as he looked on while his wife flashed her camera.

"Dad" said Ethan seriously, "you'll never know have no idea how happy I am to have my picture taken with Sarah."


	4. Benny's Mother

**Benny's Mother**

While Ethan and Sarah were watching _Forbidden Planet_ , Benny had other things to do. Otherwise, Benny might just have crashed the party and suggest that in his honour of his birthday two days before they order a _Reese's Pieces_ chocolate peanut-butter cup pizza!

Yeah, but Ethan was his best friend, Sarah was now Ethan's girlfriend . . . Benny figured that when he, Benny, _finally_ had a girlfriend he wouldn't want Ethan interrupting his canoodling time with her. A guy's got to do what a guy's got to do.

Besides, as awesome as spending time with your friends was, Benny usually set aside time each day to talk his parents. And tonight, Benny was speaking with his mother via his computer's video chat program.

Rachel Fishbein (she had retaken her maiden name) was in her late thirties. She had Benny's black hair, though those who knew her realized she was now rather grey and the black was artificial. Rachel had a soft, kind voice that was surprisingly clear and capable of projection. It had been well known when she had worked part-time as a tour guide at the Whitechapel Museum; she was able to project a knowledge of everything in its eclectic collection. From exhibits in Egyptology, to wartime medals and uniforms, to the more mundane and "official" aspects of Whitechapel's local history. She now used the voice to describe Downtown Toronto expertly to tourists hopping aboard the _Ontario Double Decker Tour Company_. As if she hadn't left for seventeen years, and as if she hadn't spent her entire life before that comfortably ensconced in the suburbs.

Rachel had met Benny's father in university, and had no prior contact or knowledge of the supernatural. In fact, she came from a Jewish family in North York, a northern area of Toronto. Magic was as foreign to her as Altair 14, the eponymous _Forbidden Planet_. She was as ignorant of it as Benny was himself was the day he entered high school. She was only informed when Benny was six, for her husband never inherited his mother's ability and never expected to see it in his son.

When Benny was six, his paternal grandfather had died peacefully in bed. At Evelyn Weir's request, the family moved in to be with Rachel mother-in-law. Evelyn Weir was sympathetic to her daughter-in-law, and kindly explained the ins and outs of spell masters, good versus evil, and the hidden secrets of her hometown. Calm was Benny's mother. Benny's excitable nature didn't come from her. Evelyn Weir later mentioned to her son that his wife sat through her whole demonstration with an inscrutable look, displaying neither surprise or shock. Until Evelyn was finished that was.

She was practical, was Rachel. Magic, schmagic! What kind of future was that for her son? She suggested the family move away from Whitechapel, and if Evelyn liked she was free to moved with them. Who wants to live near vampires? Or, as the Scottish poem goes, "ghosties and ghoulies and long-legged beasties and things that go bump in the night?" No way did she want her son to live through such danger!

Evelyn icily pointed out that Benny had the innate ability to perform magic in aid of good over evil. And Benny's power in that regard would be great. Would she aid evil by denying Benny his gift? Would she deny Benny his natural powers? Would she, Rachel, help those "ghosties and ghoulies and long legged beasties" . . . not to mention the bloodsuckers . . . by removing a formidable enemy?

In a more conciliatory tone, Evelyn admitted Rachel's was a natural question. Evelyn assured her that Benny's natural, as opposed to supernatural, abilities would never suffer . . . as Evelyn's never did. Evelyn was sure, that like Evelyn's own mother, they would all do their best to ensure magic was part of Benny's life and not his whole life. While old Mrs. Weir suspected Benny would want to use his powers to fight supernatural evils, she told her daughter-in-law the decision would ultimately be up to her grandson.

Evelyn Weir imagined the events surrounding the _Dusk_ premier hit too close to home for Rachel. That caused the final break; a minor, collateral, win for the forces of evil. But, in truth, Evelyn realized, she was just looking for a scapegoat; her son's marriage was falling apart before that. Her son, Tyler Weir, and her daugher-in-law tried couple retreats and self-help books. But they no longer loved one another and just couldn't stand one another any longer. Well did Evelyn remember those rictus grins as the couple tried to get along in front of their son!

Well, they had married young, only knowing one other for three months before eloping to Las Vegas on her son's whim! Evelyn suspected her son, as a young man, just wanted to escape everything Whitechapel-related. But Tyler Weir knew the lay of the land. Although the family had been comfortably ensconced in Niagara Falls, Tyler convinced his wife to move to Whitechapel, as per Evelyn's request.

So, the stresses on their marriage were no ordinary ones. It was just fortunate that the two still managed to be civil! And Evelyn still respected her daughter-in-law, how could one not fail to like a mother who didn't want to take her son away from his childhood home and his best friends? With Benny's father frequently travelling for work, Rachel Fishbein had strong grounds to insist that her son live with her. However, Rachel made a great sacrifice; she allowed her only son stay with his paternal grandmother and learn whatever it was that made him an enemy of the bloodsuckers and other supernatural evildoers.

Benny was _vaguely_ aware of some of this. The rictus grins on the faces of his parents was something that he couldn't forget (although Benny wasn't going to be all "emo" about it!). Benny also knew that as much as his mother was fond of _him_ personally; magic and monsters sort of, kind of, freaked her out. After all, if Benny had been standing to Rory and Ethan's left when Erica took her first bloodsucking bite . . . it would have been Benny "done in" and biting rats for two years until finally restored to life. And, yeah, as Benny had told Ethan, he couldn't really imagine _that_. But Benny knew his mom could. If Benny had ever gone into detail, that is.

"I'm happy your friends are coming" said Benny's mother sincerely. "They're good kids, and I'm sure you guys'll have fun. It's just as well I have to work, I guess you're too old to spend two weeks with your mother."

"Ah, Mom" said Benny embarrassed, as he didn't like to be all emotional and tear-jerky . . . "emo-junk" as he called it. "I'll never be too old to be with you."

Benny's friends were a little weird, in Rachel Fishbine's opinion (magic aside, she considered Benny perfectly "normal"). But they were great friends for Benny to have. Ethan was smart and a very practical young man. Even Rory, gullible and excitable as he was, did well in school. A good influence overall, thought Rachel Fishbine. They probably had a bright future (at least Rory now _had_ a future again!).

In fact, Benny's mother felt guilty that, without telling Benny, she had placed a video call to the Keaners that morning. She used a shallow pretence to speak to Rory; she asked whether he had any allergies that might provoke his asthma while he was over. Of course, she wanted to see if he'd show up on camera.

"No problem, Benny's mom" said Rory, who, eager for the trip, was bedecked in "Single Tear" t-shirt and ball-cap. "Just wait a mo."

Rory returned with a garlic clove, which he held close to the screen before chewing on it and swallowing it down in one gulp. "Garlic's a natural cure for asthma. Even if the mould spores were out, I'm good. Bring on the smog! The Ror-ster's a match for it."

The boy was unworldly, to be sure. But Rachel wondered if Rory _knew_ why she called. Well, Rachel'd better tell Benny what she'd _like_ him to do, as _that_ wasn't so easily guessed.

"I was wondering if you could do me a favour. You know my mother doesn't know anything about your magic or Whitechapel's secrets."

"No problem" said Benny, unconsciously echoing Rory. "I've never let on before. Nobody knows I'm a spellmaster here, well, besides those I want to know."

"Would you mind leaving your magic book behind?" his mother asked. "You won't need it in Toronto. I spent the first two decades of my life without running into anything supernatural. It'll be less of a lure for you that way."

Benny scowled. He took that book practically everywhere, ever since his grandmother Evelyn gave it to him. But Benny agreed. As his mother said, it wasn't as if he'd need it.

"Yeah, Mom" he said. "I mean, it's not like I'm visiting you just to study!"

"Thanks Benny" said his mother. "I appreciate it."

"How about our U.V. light sabres?" asked Benny, holding his up to the computer screen. "We've got our new retractable lights to use as blades" Benny added, extending the tube light. "They're _way_ more authentic-looking now. I mean, we can show them off to Grandma and practice our . . . uh . . . fencing."

"Okay, Benny" smiled his mother. "I don't see any harm in them."

When she said her goodbyes to her son, Rachel again felt guilty. When was she going to tell him _her news_. He deserved to know, and soon. But how would Benny react?

Well, it was best to wait. Maybe a week or so. Rachel wanted her son to have a good time.


	5. G1 Road Trip

**G1 Road Trip**

Whitechapel was in Southwestern Ontario, in the still-partially forested countryside not too far from the St. Clair River and the Michigan border. Usually, going mainly by way of Highway 401, Toronto was about four hours away. But if you travelled by way of the back highways and roads, it was closer to seven. And that wasn't taking into account traffic. There would be a lot of that, especially as you got closer to Toronto.

Benny Weir figured that, as a newly licensed driver, he wasn't going to miss the chance to make the drive himself. But, humiliatingly, his G1 license not only required him to have a driver licensed five-years by sitting his side . . . but didn't even allow him on the major highways! So it appeared that he, Rory and Ethan would have to be driven after all. Or take the train or bus. That is, until Ethan's dad volunteered to sit back and leave the driving to Benny.

Not exactly Benny. As a condition, Ross Morgan suggested Benny and Ethan split the drive; Benny would drive until lunch, Ethan would take the rest of the route. Ethan and Benny agreed, sealing the deal with a roman handshake (in Ethan, Benny and Rory's opinion, the most awesome type of handshake, as it was the type favoured in _Battlestar Galactica_ ). Rory's birthday, and his driver's license, were still a month away. But as a consolation prize, Ethan's father agreed they'd stop at the restaurant Rory suggested, although it was ten or twenty minutes off their route.

Ross Morgan soon regretted taking the trip. Not only would he be on the road for twelve hours total, but the first leg with his son and his friends was more geek trip than guy trip. Ethan's dad was proud of his mathlete son. Ross didn't mind driving the guys on shorter trips, but seven hours of Benny and Rory! It was too much! Couldn't they at least talk about something interesting like hockey! Add to that the fact Ross was wound up by guzzling coffee to keep him up all the way to Toronto and back, not to mention the years of insurance agency brainwashing that left him horrified of bad driving. Ross Morgan really wished he had stayed at home and left the supervision to someone else.

Benny thought it was awesome that he was driving the Morgan's Jeep Grand Cherokee. Did the fact that Benny's was sitting next to his best friend's father rule out trying to flirt with the teen girls he saw in the other cars! Or on the sidewalks when they were passing through the many villages and towns on the way! Frack, no! Was Benny disappointed when they smiled back at him? No, of course not. Was Benny upset that they smiled back _and laughed_? Well, yeah, a little! But Benny figured that they didn't know what they were missing.

Ross Morgan decided it wasn't his place to tell Benny that making passes at girls while traveling with his best friend's dad wasn't likely to be successful. Ross was also unsure about a Jeep Grand Cherokee as the ideal vehicle to pick up girls. Expensive and a jeep? Yes. But too much of a family vehicle. Of the jeeps, a Jeep Wrangler would be better. Preferably a soft top. Maybe a Sahara.

The fact that their two-lane highway route took them all through London, Ontario made the whole thing humiliating. And the fact they seemed to be stopped at every traffic light . . . although Benny floored it whenever the green light turned amber.

"It's simple" Benny bragged to Ethan's dad, "Green means go, red means stop, amber means speed the heck up."

Ethan and Rory reveled in Ross Morgan's reply. "Double swears" as Ethan told Rory later.

And that didn't hold a candle to what Ross said when he vetoed Benny's attempt to pass a slow-moving _Petro Canada_ tanker truck . . . not to mention the three cars following closely behind it.

Benny had less than a week's driving experience. Fortunately, Benny was the coolest when it came to driving a go-kart! Benny figured anyone who could a go-kart could drive a car. What this actually meant was that Benny made very tight turns. A couple of times Benny bounced over curbs. Luckily, as the route went mainly through the country and towns and villages, Benny usually drove onto the shoulder or empty sidewalks instead of sending pedestrians running for their lives.

All this made Ross Morgan wonder if he should keep on selling the Weirs car insurance.

Ethan had figured that Benny's go-kart driving theory was as likely to hold up as well as Benny's favourite pick up lines did with girls. Relaxing in the back seat, with his laptop and a game of _Conquer the Solar System_ , Ethan was enjoying the trip. Ethan wasn't getting too far in the game, he was pausing and take off his ear buds whenever his dad, Benny or Rory wanted to say something to him. And Ethan was really relishing Benny's driving lesson. But should Ethan enjoy his dad being so annoyed? No! Ethan felt uncomfortable about that. But, man, what a ride!

Rory felt that he was in an episode of _Canada's Worst Driver_. And it was awesome! Just so long as they didn't get killed! Rory figured Ethan's dad was on Benny's case so much that wouldn't happen. Nothing better than being alive, cruising with his friends (and Ethan's dad), going on a long deserved vacation free of rats and blood . . . but filled with selfies.

Rory had packed the digital camera his dad had given him for his fourteenth birthday. It had been the coolest, top-of-the-line camera back then, and even come with a tripod. It had way better abilities than his smart-phone! Although the tripod was too bulky to carry around, Rory was finally going to get some good use from the camera itself. There had been something about not being able to show up in pictures that had chilled Rory's interest in photography. But, that was over! And the camera was still awesome, no matter what anyone said about this or that model being the new and better thing!

If, two months on, Sarah felt that her two years as a vampire was a closed chapter in her life, Rory just found it hard to believe he had actually been a bloodsucker. Drinking blood? Sick! Yeah, but there were too many gross memories of rat-and-rodent biting, kowtowing to the vampire council, and the (not-so-bad memories) of flying and super-speed. And there was that one night at Ethan's house, when it was all over, when Ethan and Benny had forced Rory to realize the terror of it all.

Rory hadn't been Superman (faster than a speeding bullet, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound), or dark and mysterious like Batman, or even your friendly neighbourhood Ror-ster. Rory had been frozen as a fourteen-year-old un-dead creature, shunted into a shadowy future as a blood-swilling thing forced to "live" on the margins until finally killed and crumbling to dust. And who could forget the fact the curse turned Rory into a creature so evil that anything holy was deadly to him?

Rory shuddered, and muttered "Not. A. Vampire."

Well, Rory felt his situation was like that of his other comic book and movie heroes. It was sort of like in _Spiderman III_ , where Peter Parker was corrupted by the symbiotes and was slowly turning evil. Or maybe the real old school comics, where Superman's pal, cub reporter Jimmy Olson, got stuck with those really sucky curses from time to time . . . until rescued by the Man of Steel. Way better to be Superman than Jimmy Olson . . . but Rory thought Jimmy was a cool guy. Rory's two years cursed lasted way longer than Jimmy Olson's trials . . . but way less than Vampire Sasquatch's seven years waiting to be cured from the bloodsucking curse.

That made Rory feel better. Rory put up the sound on his "Single Tear" tunes. Single Tear were rich and famous, Rory had been cursed for two years and now had his life back. Next to his friends, those guys really spoke to him!

And really, the two years weren't wasted. Rory had done a lot of cool, human, stuff, even under those harsh restrictions put on him. MC Monster Bat? Prank-z? 100% the brilliance of Rory Ransom Keaner! Not to Rory mention helping his friends fight evil! And now, Rory was a coequal member of Team Sabre . . . busters of evil monsters. Boo-yeah!

But Rory was about to get a reminder of his vampire days. And Rory wasn't going to like it one bit.


	6. At the Sign of the Saucer

**At the Sign of the Saucer**

Ethan figured that Rory had totally cool ideas . . . once in a while. Having lunch at the _Flying Saucer_ was one of them.

"This place is awesome" said Ethan, giving Rory a high five.

Benny thought it was a little old school, but after all Benny was the guy who preferred the original _Battlestar Galactica_ to the re-imagined series! So who was Benny to complain? So another high five.

As for Ross Morgan, he was just happy to reach the halfway point. The point where newbie Benny's reckless driving would be handed over to Ethan's several months experience of slow and overcautious command of the wheel. Not to mention Ethan having had twelve lessons with the _Whitechapel Driving School_. So, high fives all round.

The _Flying Saucer_ had landed incongruously on the side of Highway 5 somewhere in the countryside between Cambridge, Branford, Hamilton, and Burlington. It was large building shaped like a flying saucer, offering fare like "Supernova Burgers", "Celestial Sundaes", "Pluto Steaks", "Venusian Spaghetti" and "Saturn Rings".

Inside, Ethan enjoyed seeing the posters for each of the main sci-fi franchises and geek-doms. Not to mention some of the old school science fiction movies he liked. If a film had a (half-decent) robot, it was okay in Ethan's book! The _Flying Saucer_ even had several robot models, whose histories Ethan explained to a very interested Rory and Benny, and even his less-excitable father (Ross pretended to be interested). What an awesome collection!

The kitchen was in the middle of the building, surrounded by a circular counter with stools all around. The rest of place was decorated like an old school diner, with two rows of booths around. While Rory, Ethan and Benny wanted to take the stools, Ethan's dad vetoed it. When you're in your forties, you begin to appreciate a comfortable booth over a backless stool. But the window-side booths were also okay.

The place was really committed to the whole space-thing, which was a plus in the three friends eyes. Everything was named after something in outer space. In fact, the three were left alone for a while as Ross Morgan, having had too much of the _Flying Saucer's_ famous Cosmic Coffee, went to the Nebular Restrooms located in the basement.

But Ethan liked the whole "theme-restaurant" thing. So much so that he snapped a photo of the menu to send to Sarah. Ethan knew that what he considered cool and what Sarah (and most other girls) considered cool were two different things. Ethan wondered if it was too geeky for her? Well, she'd tell him if it was! And at least she'd have a good laugh and something funny to say in reply! That's how their relationship worked since the time they first became friends exactly twenty-three months ago.

How committed was the _Flying Saucer_ to its theme? Everything on the menu also had an outer-space name . . . from the Alien Asparagus to the Zodiac Zucchini. They even had something named after each of the planets (or in the case of Pluto, an ex-planet). Every planet, _no exceptions_. The menu had "Uranus Liver and Onions, with side of Betelgeuse Brussel Sprouts and Martian Mashed, with choice of Cosmic Coffee or Plutonium Prune Juice." Ethan figured it was a joke. No one in their right mind would place _that_ order. That is, until he heard a couple of old women in the booth opposite ask for that sickening combo.

"Makes me want to retch" Benny observed, gagging.

"No kidding" said Ethan. "What a name! I can't believe anyone would order that!

"Plus we're talking liver, brussel sprouts and prune juice" observed Rory, as he gulped down his Rocket Root Beer. "What could be more sick?"

There was an uncomfortable silence as Benny and Ethan stared at their friend.

"Drinking rat's blood?" Ethan wanted to say. But, without saying anything to one another, Ethan and Benny had both decided not to give Rory any grief over his time as a vampire. After all, Ethan figured, it would be just like Rory and Benny being on his case over couple days as a werewolf! Or Ethan bringing up Benny's hour (give or take) as a zombie and his attempt to eat Ethan's brain.

"I get it guys" said Rory, understanding the reason for the silence. "But, dudes, I'm not a vampire! I'm not talking bloodsucking food. I'm talking real sick _human_ food."

"Yeah" Benny said supportive, "It's not as if you, Sarah or Erica even had a choice. I mean, normal food didn't even do anything for you."

"Yeah" said Rory ruefully. "This place has always been a favourite with my mom and dad. Last year, my dad was going on business to Hamilton and I went with him so we could stop here. I had a Supernova Burger, Saturn Rings and a Molecular Milkshake . . . but, like you said Benny, they did nothing for me. Okay, they tasted awesome, but even after all that food I was dying of hunger. I had to go downstairs and scarf a couple rats without my dad noticing."

"This place has rats!" Ethan exclaimed, pushing away his Comet Cola.

"Nuh-uh" Rory said, "Relax, dude! I had to smuggle them from home and hide them in my backpack. Man, did that ever suck! I mean, think about how awkward it would be if I were still an evil bloodsucker! I'd have to take a whole crate of rats. Or I'd have to sneak out every night to find food. Weird to think I ever thought that was _normal_! You think it was part of the curse?"

"100%" joked Ethan. "I mean, I don't remember you ever wanting to eat rats back in public school? I mean, unless you were holding out on us?"

"No way" said Rory, laughing. "I don't think Benny's other Grandma would have wanted me in the house with all those rats, squirrels and other stuff. Right Benny?"

Benny was oddly quiet; he was wondering whether he should tell Rory the truth. That Benny couldn't have even invited Rory along! And _why_. Benny supposed that Rory, of all people, wasn't going to upset about something that was now _over_. After all, Benny wouldn't let stuff like that bother _him_."

"I couldn't have invited you" said Benny, in that rare matter-of-fact tone he usually reserved for explaining something magic-related to Ethan.

"Your . . . mom wouldn't let you?" guessed Rory, and he sounded somewhat deflated. "I mean, I . . . sort of understand. The vampire-thing would freak her out. I mean, it freaked us all out at first. I mean, except me. But I was, uh . . . bitten . . . before I could really react, I guess."

"No" said Benny. "That's not it. You know my mom and her family's Jewish?"

"Yes" said Ethan. "And?"

Benny explained that most Jewish homes, including that of his maternal grandmother, had a _Mezuzah_ on the front door. A _Mezuzah_ was a metal case containing a parchment inscribed with religious verses. Not only did it fulfill a biblical commandment, but since early times different rabbinical authorities believed it to also ward off evil.

"You literally couldn't come in" Benny explained hesitantly, as he and Ethan watched Rory's increasingly uncomfortable expression. "No matter how many times I, my mom, or my grandmother invited you. We're talking about a holy object, good versus evil, with you . . . being the evil. The only way you could come in is if the _Mezuzah_ were to be taken down. And no way Grandma would do that! I mean, she attends a Reform congregation, and that's a liberal group and their teachings aren't so strict. But could you imagine what I'll have to say to her? One of my best friends, Rory, you remember him don't you? Rory's a great guy, but because of some really bad luck, he's evil, un-dead, and survives off the blood of the living."

"Benny, dude" suggested Ethan, uneasily looking at Rory "that's probably enough."

"It's okay, guys" Rory lied, "I can take it. Not a vampire, remember! I'm one of you! Team Sabre!"

"Well, you wouldn't even be able get to touch the door and get burned" Benny continued. "You'd be exposed before you could even try."

"You mean I'd end up standing there . . . naked?" asked Rory, horrified.

"No" said Benny, "But you'd show your fangs and yellow eyes. Maybe you'd hiss too, like vampires do with crosses. Remember, we're not talking _Dusk_ and sparkling bloodsuckers. We're talking the genuine article; evil creatures who can't touch or sometimes _even go near_ anything holy. I mean, since we're talking Jewish holy objects . . . remember when we went to our fellow mathlete's Bar Mitzvah?"

"Ben invited us" observed Rory, recovering a little. "Back in public school. We got to throw candy at him at the end!"

"That was for a sweet life" said Ethan, remembering the meaning, and how his lousy athletic skills failed him _even then_. "I, uh, hit him in the nose. Lucky the candies were soft."

"Well, remember how he read from the Torah scroll" Benny pointed out. "A Torah Scroll is a scroll containing the entire Five Books of Moses, handwritten in the original Hebrew by a very religious scribe, using a quill pen. Rory, when you were un-dead, if you were to touch the Torah, or even get close enough to make the attempt, well . . . a vampire doesn't have that right. You would have burnt up.

"You mean . . ." started Rory.

"As if you were stabbed with your own light sabre" said Benny awkwardly. "Sarah and Erica too. You know, if they had light sabres to be stabbed with."

Ethan started at the very thought, but not so much as Rory, who outright cringed.

"That's why" said Ethan, who felt he had better say something and quick, "we're happy to our pal back among the living."

"That's for sure" said Benny.

This time the friends went with fist bumps.

Rory, shaking off his depression, noticed that Ethan had stalled post-fist bump and was staring off into space. Ethan's pupils were dilated and his eyeballs were filled with the eerie glow he usually had when struck by a vision.

"Dude? What's going to happen?" asked Rory.

Ethan, for his part, suddenly shook his head, returning to full consciousness. He looked away from his friends and towards the two old ladies in surprise. Ethan grinned.

"Nothing to us" said Ethan, "But guys" he added eagerly. "How do you feel about Team Sabre going into action right here? Well, Team Sabre minus Sarah, but you get the picture!"

"Those old ladies!" exclaimed Rory. "The liver and prune juice should have been a give away. Nobody honest could eat something like that!"

"Them?" said Benny in surprise. "Are they monsters in disguise? Banshees, right?"

"No" said Ethan, checking the time on his watch. "We're going to protect them. From evil . . . though of the really ordinary kind. But we might just be saving their lives!"


	7. Evil of the Quotidian Kind

**Evil of the Quotidian Kind**

Taking on normal crime at the _Flying Saucer_ meant that Ethan, Benny and Rory had to ditch Ethan's father while he had yet another cup of Cosmic Coffee . . . not to mention paying their bill. Leaving his dad alone like that? Especially after the three had pigged out on an entire Callisto Chocolate Cake! It sucked! Ethan felt very guilty about it. But Ethan couldn't really tell his father about his powers, could he? And the alternative was letting those two old ladies get badly hurt, or even killed. Ethan did feel that _if his dad did know everything_ , he'd be behind Ethan and his friends one-hundred percent.

Ethan told his father that the three wanted to have their pictures taken outside the _Flying Saucer_ with their Jedi light sabres. In reality, Ethan, Benny and Rory would be crushing evil first, _then_ going to have their picture taken on the _other_ side of the saucer. Benny pointed out a photo from the other side was _way_ cooler; on this side they'd get a photo of the flying saucer accompanied by a parking lot full of cars.

Some of the cars were pretty cool in their own right. Like that shiny red corvette parked at the edge of the lot! Near that 'vette (whose rear license plate showed it had been driven from Saskatchewan), and behind several evergreen bushes, was where Ethan, Benny and Rory were hiding.

Unfortunately, the bushes also hid this section of the parking lot from the windows of the _Flying Saucer_. That was why what was about to happen _could_.

Benny was cracking his knuckles. He didn't have his magic book, but he had a few of his favourite spells memorized. And he couldn't wait to put them to good use! The only thing better than using his magic to play pranks was pranking someone who really had it coming.

As for Rory, who hoped to get a lot of this on his camera (maybe, when edited, he could post it on _YouTube_!), nothing was cooler or more awesome than fighting "bad guys" with his friends. And, like Ethan and Benny, the usually relaxed Rory was angry about what could go down. It was the type of crime that made everybody angry.

All three thought their scabbards and light sabres made their upcoming fight a good deal cooler than it otherwise would have been. Although the light sabres weren't useful against non-bloodsuckers, everything was more awesome with light sabres!

Benny noticed the criminals first, although he was relying on Ethan's description. Two guys in their twenties, driving up in a rusty Chrysler Neon. Man, even their car was pathetic! It didn't even have tinted windows!

To Benny's eye, the men themselves looked a little like Rory and Ethan. Well, older, heavier, Bizzaro versions of Rory and Ethan. There was a blond man with a fading sunburn like Rory. Unlike Rory, the man wore a ball cap over a closely cropped and receding hairline. As for the second, he was pasty and black haired like Ethan. Unlike Ethan, the man had several days of stubble on his face. Not that, so far as Benny knew, his pal even shaved.

Benny reflected on what Ethan told him. The two bums went around doing quick "snatch and grab" robberies. They made a living that way. A really miserable living, in more ways than one! But there was going to be something about the grey-haired little old women that would set the crooks off! And this was, at least according to Ethan's vision, going to be far worse.

Two men! To take on two little old ladies! And here came the old women now, slowly walking down the ramp from the entrance.

"Wasn't that liver wonderful, Mabel?" said the one old lady to the other. "And those tasty Brussel sprouts! I just knew we should have made a trip out here! I told you we can't cross Canada visiting our grandchildren and great-nieces and nephews without visiting the _African Lion Safari_. And we can't go anywhere near the _African Lion Safari_ without first visiting the _Flying Saucer_."

"And it's not so far out of our way to Niagara Falls, Marleen" observed the other old woman. "And you thought two sisters our age shouldn't make the trip! But I told you when we won the lottery jackpot last year . . . why not? We have relatives all over the country and we haven't seen all of them for a little while. And what better way to see them than take a summer drive."

"For liver-lovers, those two aren't so bad" whispered Rory, "That's a pretty cool thing to do at their age."

"Lotto-winning liver-lovers" muttered Benny. "Only thing is, if I were them, I'd be ordering the Pluto Steaks and the Red-Giant Velvet Cake.

"Guys" said Ethan, grinning, "wait until you see what car they're driving!"

"Well, let's not forget, Mabel" said Marleen, "that you were very much against our buying our lovely little corvette. But as I told you, it's the _keenest_ way to travel and it has such a big trunk! Besides, with only two seats, we can dodge our dear grandchildren's demand to ride about in it. Well, most of the time! They are such _dears_ , but they are so demanding!"

"I still don't feel it'll do much in winter" objected Mabel. "That's why you don't see too many corvettes in Saskatoon. Well, at least we have an engine block heater! But, still, we might need another car? Maybe a pickup truck? Maybe something like that Jeep Grand Cherokee that those rude boys rode up in? The ones that were laughing when we ordered our Uranus Liver and Onions?"

"What the frack?" said Ethan, while Rory went with "What the heck?"

"Dudes! You go out and do someone a favour!" Benny complained, albeit quietly. "They're just a bunch of eavesdroppers."

"Oh, I don't know" said Marleen, as she reached the corvette. "Our grandchildren don't like liver either."

"Perhaps" said Mabel. "However, I think . . . Why . . . what do you want young man? Oh, no you don't! Help! HELP!"

The two men in the Neon had left their car, ran out, and were now roughly grabbing Mabel and Marleen's purses. The robbers took the purses, and tried to push the two old woman to the ground.

That's when "Operation Flying Saucer" started. Ethan and Rory rushed to steady the old ladies, dodging a couple blows from the burly robbers. Unfortunately, Mabel didn't immediately realize that Rory was catching and not holding her. She kicked his shins a few times with her orthopaedic shoes.

"Ouch!" said Rory. "Let off! You're wrecking my video!"

"Wait, Mabel" said Marleen. "That boy is helping you!"

"Yeah, we are!" said Ethan. "Benny'll have your purses back in a minute!"

"I hope so" said Mabel, before adding to Rory "Sorry dear!"

The robbers weren't pleased. They had the women's purses, but they had hoped to make their getaway too fast for the elderly women to make an identification.

"Let's beat up these fracking geeks" said the first criminal, though in reality he peppered his statement with much stronger language than "frack". "And we can throw these old bags to the ground and ride off with their 'vette."

"I should wash their mouth out with soap!" said Marleen haughtily, while Ethan looked at her incredulously. Talk about your priorities!

"Let's just get out of here!" said the other crook, again with several expletives. "We've got their money, and something tells me there's going to be a lot of it too! Besides, bud, 'vettes are too easy to trace."

The crooks tried to get to their Neon, but didn't get far. They tripped, courtesy of a spell Benny had first used in cheerleader tryouts nearly two years before.

"Help! Help!" said the first, while the second contented himself with swearing out his mystification at why he floating into the limbs of a nearby maple tree. Nor did he understand why his pants floated up over his shoes and fell to the ground, leaving him stranded in his boxers nearly ten feet up.

"Drop the purses" Benny ordered, nonchalantly leaning against the trunk.

"Anything!" whined the first of the crooks.

"Say sir!" Benny added in his most casual voice, again cracking his knuckles.

Benny laughed. This was almost too fun! Not to mention too easy! After all the monsters they'd been facing over the past couple years, what where these jerks!

"Yes, sir!" said the two crooks.

Benny returned triumphantly with the stolen purses.

"My, how did you get them up there!" said Mabel.

"It's . . . a trade secret" Benny smirked.

"Well, if it's a secret let's not bother the boy about it" said Marleen, incuriously. "We're well rid of them."

"They certainly deserve being stuck up there!" observed Mabel. "And the nerve of them! In their underwear too!"

Ethan couldn't understand why they weren't interested in _how_ the crooks were treed. Or the fact they were most upset about how _rude_ the crooks were than the fact they were, you know, crooks! Ah well! Ethan just had to accept the old women's priorities weren't his own!

"Some people have no manners" Ethan agreed, with a grin.

"You said it young man!" agreed Marleen.

"Oh, my" she added. "There goes our schedule! We'll be late in getting to Niagara Falls. We'll just have to call the police and hang about here all day. And if this goes to trial we'll have to come back be witnesses and everything!"

"Don't worry" said Ethan. "Don't worry about calling the police! We'll take care of things!"

"Will you?" asked the old women in unison.

"Yes" said Rory. "You ladies drive off in your sweet corvette."

"But we must give you something for your trouble!" insisted Mabel. "Here, one for you and each of your two friends. And I'm sorry for kicking your shins and spoiling your film."

Rory found himself face-to-face with three photos of Sir Robert Borden, the World War I era Canadian Prime Minister who decorated one side of the $100 dollar bill.

"Awesome" Rory said, before remembering to add "Thanks" as along with Ethan and Benny he waved goodbye to the old women.

Mabel and Marleen burned rubber as they sped off in their sweet ride.

"Well, what should we do with these guys?" asked Ethan, as the trio made their way back to the tree decorated with the angry criminals.

"Dude, what would have happened to Mabel and Marleen if we hadn't stopped them?" Benny asked.

"They wouldn't have only stolen the purses and knocked the women to the ground" said Ethan grimly, "they would have _stomped_ on them."

"Stomped?" asked Rory, dismayed. "Then what?"

"Well, Mabel and Marleen would have been taken to the hospital with at least three broken hips between them" Ethan continued. "It didn't look very good."

"Yeah, I guess not" said Rory, as he looked up at the crooks cowering upside-down in the tree. "I guess we have enough of that kind of stuff in Whitechapel" he added, as he absentmindedly gripped his light sabre.

Ethan shrugged. Thinking of Sarah's membership in Whitechapel High's historical fiction society (the pre-vamped Erica had once been president), Ethan decided to make one of his rare attempts at dark humour. It had been awhile! The last time? That was when Ethan mocked Jesse as the vampire was torn apart by the souls of the innocent _Duskers_ he had murdered minutes before.

"Yeah, guys" said Ethan, aiming his words more at the crooks in the tree than at Benny and Rory. "You know what? I saw a vacant house in Saskatoon and a corvette without an owner carefully preserved. If those shadows had remained unaltered . . . ."

"Huh?" said Benny and Rory together.

Rory, collecting his usually scattered wits, recalled the reference. English was the only subject where Rory was better than Benny (partly because Benny didn't care, and partly because Benny liked to insert aliens into his book reports on Jane Austen novels).

"That's from Scrooge" Rory observed. "Funny, Ethan. But, you know, I know just the thing to do with these guys if we're not calling the cops. Benny has that awesome spell to turn people inside out!"

"No way Rory" said Benny earnestly.

Rory had never seen Benny's experiment turning a mouse inside out. It sounded cool. But in practice . . . and on a human being! It was a spell Benny DID NOT WANT TO USE. It was the evilest spell Benny had ever attempted, and there was a reason he had only tried it once!

Besides, without his magic book, Benny couldn't do it anyway!

"What he said!" said the robbers. "I don't want to be inside out!"

"Well, jerks" said Ethan coldly, "we knew a girl who didn't want to be a vampire. But for two years she was forced to be one. So why shouldn't we turn out your guts?"

Ethan remembered his talk a few weeks ago with Evelyn Weir about _what type of people chose to be turned into vampires_. Those two men might have been a little low class for Esmeralda's taste, but Jesse would have drafted them within hours. If possible, Ethan was even _more_ disgusted by the two when he considered how like Whitechapel's now-departed vampire enforcers they were.

But the two robbers didn't know anything about their potential recruitment value to the late and unlamented Reverend Black. Or how they were very much vampire-material. They just realized something very weird was going on? Were the three witches? Or were they warlocks? Or were they vampires?

Whatever the answer was, the men started sobbing and crying for their lives.

"Don't turn us into vampires!" cried one of the robbers. "Please don't steal our blood!"

"We're not vampires!" bragged Rory, taking his light sabre from his scabbard, and lowering across his arm. "See, this is a UV Jedi light sabre. If I were still a bloodsucker it'd cut my arm right off, shirt and all. But because I'm human . . . look nothing!"

"S-s-still a bloodsucker?" said one of the men to the other. "T-that must mean . . .T-this guy says he was a vampire! He's going to drink our blood! I know it!"

"Benny . . . you've got to turn these guys inside-out" insisted Rory.

"Dude . . . Ethan" said Benny, ignoring Rory and turning to his best friend. "We can't go that far! You know what happened to that mouse I turned inside out!"

"Yeah, I know" said Ethan. "I just wanted to scare them."

"Why not turn them inside out for a few days!" said Rory. "It'll look totally cool. With their brain, heart, intestines, everything on the outside! Besides everybody will run away from them. They have it coming."

"Please, please . . . . don't sir" begged one of the robbers.

Benny realized that Rory _had no idea_ what he was asking. Well, Benny'd tell him!

"Rory" said Benny, clapping a hand on his shoulder, "that's what I thought the inside-out spell does. An awesomely-gross trick. That's why I tried it out on that mouse with Ethan watching on! The truth is A MOUSE CAN'T LIVE INSIDE-OUT. Nothing can. The mouse died instantly, the blood oozing out every which way. . . ."

Benny was interrupted by the robbers yelling in terror.

"That's why I wouldn't use it on a human being" Benny explained.

"Oh" said Rory, making a face. "I . . . get it."

"Well, we can't just let them go free" observed Ethan. "They might try this again. How about . . . ."

"Worms in the ear!" said Ethan, Benny and Rory together.

"Not worms in the ear, sir!" begged one of the robbers.

Benny didn't listen. He rolled up his sleeves, and did the "worms in the ear" spell three times over.

It worked. The first earthworms took a few seconds to crawl out of criminals' earlobes and drop to the ground, but there was a steady stream every few seconds afterwards. The upside-down, crying, pants-less robbers now had a collection of inchworms, earthworms and even sea-worms crawling from their ears every ten seconds or so.

"Are we done with them?" Ethan asked Benny and Rory.

"Yeah, we're done" said Benny as Rory nodded.

"You can go whenever you're ready" Ethan told the robbers coldly.

"But you might have trouble finding somewhere to go with worms pouring from your ears for the next . . . several months" Benny observed.

Benny knew exactly how long the spell would last; but he figured it would be better to keep the robbers guessing!

The would-be robbers kept crying in their tree.

* * *

"Another victory for Team Sabre" said Benny, as he crossed light sabres with Ethan and Rory.

Slowly, the three friends were making their way to the other side of the restaurant.

"Why did you do your spell three times?" asked Rory.

"Usually it lasts an hour" said Benny. "If you say it three times, it's one hour cubed."

"Huh?" said Rory.

"To the power of three" said Benny dismissively. "Dude, you call yourself a mathlete? How stupid can you get, Rory?"

"Well . . . you're a warp ten butthead" Rory retorted. "That's . . . one hour times one hour times one hour. Who's stupid now? That's only one hour."

"Buddy, you go by the minutes" Benny explained. "Sixty minutes to the power of three."

Rory started collecting his wits and took out his smartphone to use his calculator app.

"That's 216,000 minutes" said Ethan, who didn't need a calculator for _that_. "Um, divide by sixty. That's 3600 hours."

"Exactly 150 days" said Benny.

"Or five months" said Ethan. "If you go by thirty-day months. They won't be finished dripping worms until sometime in January.

Ethan took out his own smart phone, curious to see what date the robbers would be freed of their worms-in-the-ear curse. Wait! Never mind the robbers. More good news!

"Hey guys" said Ethan excitedly, "Read this text! Sarah thinks the _Flying Saucer_ would be a cool place to eat on a road trip! _Trip Advisor_ has nothing but good things to say about it! She says maybe someday just us two could take a road trip to the _African Lion Safari_ and stop here along the way!"

"Cool" said Benny and Rory giving Ethan high-fives.

"You should text Sarah about our victory!" said Rory. "After all, she's a charter-member of Team Sabre!"

"Not yet" said Ethan, thinking about it carefully. "It's not something we can put in a few lines. I'm not sure, but just remember how nice Sarah is. If Sarah thinks they were ordinary pickpockets, she might just think 150 days of worms-in-the-ears was too harsh! I want to tell her, in person or by phone, exactly what those two crooks wanted to do to a couple of innocent old women."

"No kidding" Benny observed, "When you're talking attempted murder, 150 days of worms-in-the-ears is getting off easy."

* * *

 **Author's Notes**

In Canada, the Neon was branded as a Chrysler in the early 00's.


	8. Benny's Other Grandmother

**Benny's Other Grandmother**

The rest of the drive to Toronto was uneventful. Uneventful and slow. Ethan drove carefully through the ever-increasing traffic as they went by way of Highway Five, Dundas Street, and through the suburban cities along their way; Burlington, Oakville, and Mississauga. In Mississauga Ethan left the old highway behind, as he turned towards the northeast and the building afternoon traffic. As traffic got worse, Ethan's father became increasingly irritable. And as Ethan told Sarah the year before, his dad swore in traffic as much as Hannah's evil twin.

Privately, Ethan felt his dad should have given him a break! Ethan was a way better driver than Benny! And Ethan's dad was an insurance agent and adjuster! Wasn't it his dad who showed him the car crashes from his scrapbook, back when Ethan first got his license?

But the drive was _boring_. It was _way_ more fun to drive in Whitechapel and the open road around Ethan's hometown. In a weird way, Ethan felt he was breaking into a video-game dungeon; the endless traffic lights and slowly crawling cars were the obstacles in his path.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, but was really only about five in the afternoon, the trip was over. Ethan pulled up a narrow driveway; Benny's mother and maternal grandmother lived in a neat postwar bungalow on Cadillac Avenue in North York's Wilson Heights neighbourhood.

It was a huge letdown to Rory, who had somehow gotten the idea that Benny's mom lived in a spooky old mansion downtown. As for Ross Morgan, he groaned. The street was only a block from the 401. If he had driven, or just had Benny and Ethan ignore the stupid G1 rules, the guys would have been there several hours before. Maybe, like Benny, Ross should lighten up? Maybe not?

As for Benny's maternal grandmother, Irene Fishbein, she was waiting for them on the front porch. Like Evelyn, she had white hair, and her face was wrinkled. In contrast to Evelyn, Benny's Grandmother Irene was short, heavyset and expressive to the point of being overbearing. Though, it was fair to say, as Benny told Ethan, she was "a nice old lady" . . . in her own way.

"I've been waiting all day for you" Irene chided them in way of a greeting. "It's about time you've got here!" Without giving anyone a chance to say hello she continued, "Well, Ross, it's been a long time. And a pleasure! And you came all the way here through the back roads and the city streets? With traffic the way it is today! So few father's are so dedicated!"

Unlike Evelyn Weir, Irene Fishbein was a compulsive hugger. Ross remembered that, and tried to make it as brief as possible.

"And my daughter tells me Benny's not supposed to drive on the 401?" Irene continued. "How do they expect him to learn? It wasn't that way when Rachel and her brother and sister learnt to drive, I can tell you that! Well, Ross, I can't thank you enough. Now, where's Benny?"

Benny had no sooner left the car than he got hugged, not to mention kissed several times in front of his friends. Benny was sort of expecting it; short of a spell there was just no way around it! On the scale of embarrassment, being kissed by your grandma in front of your friends had to be equal to being a teenager with a babysitter . . . or so Benny thought. But, embarrassed as he was, Benny managed to say hello.

Rory and Ethan were quietly chuckling at the sight, but they too were no match for the infantilising experience of being greeted by Irene Fishbein.

Ethan tried to explain he was more of a hand-shaker than a hugger; Irene waved that objection away with her hand. Any friend of Benny's wasn't going to be treated so coldly! As Ethan remembered Benny's Grandma Irene, in the end he wasn't surprised or even too angry.

As for Rory, at first he was annoyed. _The treatment was unbecoming a charter member of Team Sabre!_ But after it was over, he softened. Yeah, it was bogus to be treated that way at his age! And after all the stuff that had went down! But, didn't "The Rorster's" own mom expect him to tell her he loved her whenever she called? And hug him? And Benny's other grandma was an old lady. Who got angry with old ladies besides creep robbers? Uh-oh . . . a memory crept into Rory's mind. Something he had repressed and never told anybody about. And repressed memories were the worst . . . .

It happened less than a month into Rory's two years of being an un-dead creature of the night. Rory's mother had cut herself one morning, then, for some reason, decided to hug her son. Rory's mom had smelled deeply of blood, and she was an uncommon type, AB positive. Rory had to firmly clamp shut his mouth to hide his fangs, and closed his eyes to hide their famished, yellow burn.

Not to mention clamp his mouth shut to avoid biting and maybe even draining _his own mom_.

"Whazzzzzzzz up, Benny's other grandma!" said Rory quickly, speedily pushing the unwelcome memory from his mind.

"Benny's _other_ grandma!" Irene complained to no one in particular. Well, at first she complained to no one in particular. But Irene quickly decided that Ross Morgan would lend a sympathetic ear, so she turned to him. "That's the thanks I get! _I_ have to dote on my Benny from afar? Do I kvetch? No! Do I resent Evelyn? No! But where does it get me? The first time I see my grandson in several weeks his best friend calls me "Benny's _other_ grandma!"

Ross Morgan looked at her blankly, and said the first thing that came to mind. "I actually think my son Ethan's Benny's best friend. Rory's second-best."

"He ranks them?" asked Irene puzzled.

"Ah, Grandma!" said Benny, embarrassedly. This was way worse than the hugging and kissing! "You know you're not going to move to Whitechapel and I'm not living in North York. At least not until I figure out what I'm doing after high school. But it all works out okay. I'm Grandma Evelyn's only grandson. You have my _two sets_ of cousins in Thornhill. Not to mention Jerry's _other_ grandparents live in Montreal. So you have the upper hand there."

"He's right!" Irene told Ross. "But grandchildren are a set. You like to have _all_ of them nearby."

"I know" said Ross, slapping Ethan on the back and staggering him once more. "It's like kids. I wouldn't be happy if I had Ethan and Jane lived away or vice versa."

"Besides" sighed Irene wistfully. "Jerry's visiting Florida with his _other_ grandparents."

The crisis averted, and Rory briefly shrinking under a death glare from Benny, Mrs. Fishbein had to be waylaid from taking most of their luggage in herself. As for Ethan's dad, Irene insisted on his staying for dinner. Mrs. Fishbein pointed out that he might as well, given the evening rush hour he wouldn't get very far for the next couple hours anyway.

Given the distant sound of cars inching along the 401, Ethan didn't need to be a seer to figure Benny's grandmother had a point. Nor did Ross second guess the old woman. After all, Ross had to travel occasionally for business himself.

Moving the suitcases didn't take much trouble, though Irene noticed Rory took an interest in her home's _Mezuzah_ as he walked in the door. Irene gave Rory a similar explanation to that of her grandson.

"Are you trying to give yourself away?" Ethan asked, as he and Rory went outside again to get the last of their things. "Man, Rory. You make such a big deal of normal stuff passing through a front door!"

"It's like when you pointed out I could go inside a house again without asking!" Rory told Ethan. "It's just awesome to go by something holy that keeps out evil and not be kept out. Ethan, dude, think about it! Good versus evil, and every last atom of me being on the right side again."

"Yeah, I guess so" Ethan observed. Especially after the discussion they had at the _Flying Saucer_ that afternoon! Ethan supposed Sarah would feel the same way, with or without the long explanation.

On the other hand, two months later, Sarah wasn't making such a big deal of "normal stuff" anymore. But, Ethan figured, Rory was a guy who made a big deal of everything. Well, by the end of the year he'd find being normal . . . _normal_. If that made sense.

* * *

"I don't know what you boys had on the road" Mrs. Fishbein said once the three had taken their suitcases into the house, "but I'm sure you'll have an appetite for what I've cooked you. I have cabbage rolls simmering on the stove, and I'm going to fry some of my famous latkes . . . potato pancakes . . . with them. And I'm sure, Ross, you'll want to have some coffee before you head home? I hope you don't mind Rich's Non-Dairy Creamer?"

"No, I don't mind" said Ross, though he hated the stuff. The coconut milk in it did something to his teeth.

Some people are very reticent about letting family recipes get into the wrong hands. Some cooks are very secretive. Not so Irene Fishbein. Not only had she imparted her culinary secrets on her two daughters and her granddaughter, Irene ensured Ross Morgan left with copies of her cabbage rolls and latke recipes to hand to his wife. Irene Fishbein was very vocal about the superiority of letting cabbage rolls cook on the stove instead of inside the oven.

Aside from being a vocal chef, Irene was very vocal about the trio's travel plans. When Ethan was talking about how difficult it was to drive around the city, Mrs. Fishbein pointed out that she lived within easy walking distance of the Wilson Subway Station. And if the three didn't want Benny's mother or grandmother to travel along with them everywhere, it would be their best choice to get to the major sights in the city.

Ethan figured "Benny's other grandmother" was vocal about everything.

Not so Benny's mother. From a day's tour-guiding, Rachel arrived home in her Impala and quietly greeted everybody. Especially Benny, though, saving her son embarrassment, she took him aside to give him a hug and a kiss. And, to Ethan's relief (and just as he remembered!), Benny's mother was usually a hand-shaker . . . just like Ethan.

* * *

After supper, Ethan went outside with his dad to say goodbye and see him off. Ethan looked after the jeep until it disappeared around the corner. Maybe it was the coffee? Maybe his dad was tired? Maybe his dad was just in a hurry to get home? Maybe he did drive a little like Benny, that is when he was by himself?

But, the fact was, Ethan's dad bounced on the curb, and squealed his tires on his way.

* * *

The boys were staying in the combination den and guest bedroom downstairs, that, Benny said, he usually shared with ten-year-old Jerry in family gatherings.

"There's three bedrooms on the first floor" Benny explained, as he ducked under a particularly low section of ceiling. "One is Grandma's, one's my mom's. The other room used to belong to my aunt. After she moved out, my grandfather turned it into a study. Since he passed away, Grandma's left it as is. She, uh, still misses him a lot, he was a real nice guy. So, that's why we're in the basement."

"What's the problem?" asked Ethan, "This room is pretty cool.

"Yeah, buddy" said Benny. "I think it's awesome too. This was my uncle's when he was a teen. It comes with it's own washroom, television and mini-fridge. Also there's a real old school Nintendo gaming system here."

"Whoa!" said Rory. "That's ancient! But it's all cool. It's like we're staying in a hotel room."

" _Super Mario Brothers 3_ is a classic" said Ethan shrugging, and looking through a couple of cabinets built into the wall. Ethan stopped after bumping his head on a water metre.

"When you open the wrong closets you'll find the furnace and water metres" Benny shrugged. "It's funny, if you're _really easily amused_. Only real problem here is the ceiling's way too low."

The basement had obviously been finished sometime after the house was built, explaining the very low ceiling creeping under the duct-work. But neither Ethan nor Rory were as tall as beanpole Benny, so it didn't bother them. Besides, the room _was_ big. It took up nearly half the basement.

Rory, trying to find the closet without the furnace in it, opened the wrong door and nearly walked into a Murphy bed.

"Oh, by the way guys, the Murphy bed is mine" Benny insisted.

"How come?" complained Rory. "It's awesome. You see these things all the time in old movies."

"My . . . Mom's . . . house" explained Benny. "I pull rank on Jerry too."

The sofa too folded out into the bed. There was also a cot, in the closet without the furnace. Ethan won the rock, paper, scissors, Spot, battle for the sofa bed. It was just too bad Benny won Mario and Rory won Luigi in the rock, paper, scissors duel to play _Super Mario Brothers 3_.

* * *

Unpacking his things, Ethan realized that he had left his light sabre upstairs. On his way to the front hall, Ethan couldn't help but overhear Benny's mother and grandmother.

" _Nu_?" said Irene Fishbein irritably. "When are you going to tell him? Tonight was a perfect time. You wanted to tell him face-to-face! Do you really want to depend on your loose-lipped mother to keep a secret! You know I'm a blabbermouth! Don't you owe it to your son?"

"Not yet, Mom" said Benny's own mother. "I don't know how he'll react. A week. Just wait a week."

Irene Fishbein gave an exasperated sigh.

"Have it your own way, Rachel!" she said. "It's your decision and I'm not the kind of woman who won't mind her own business."

As Ethan quietly went downstairs he supposed that, if anything, Irene Fishbein was the type of woman who minded everybody's business! As different from Evelyn Weir as could be imagined, while still being, in Benny's description "a nice old woman."

What about Benny's mother's secret? Well, if it didn't involve her secretly fighting monsters on the side, Ethan _could and did_ mind his own business. Ethan resolved to put it out of his mind. It was between Benny and his mom!

Ethan was just grateful his seer power didn't go all renegade when he shook Rachel's hand and reveal all.

Okay, this was funny! Ethan had gotten back just in time to see Rory battle the infamous "Angry Sun" in World 2 of Super Mario Brothers 3.

Rory won. It seemed right, somehow.


	9. Benny's Girl

**Benny's Girl**

On their vacation, Benny, Rory and Ethan each had different objectives. Benny wanted to have an awesome time and pick up a babe. Rory wanted to have an awesome time and take as many awesome pictures as possible with his digital camera. Rory wanted to have at least half of those be selfies; although that wasn't easy with an automatic zooming lens (Rory wasn't adverse to picking up a babe himself in his spare time). As for Ethan, he just wanted to have a cool time with his friends (he had a girl). Though Ethan was sure he was going to text, email or phone Sarah and his parents with daily updates.

First up on the three's itinerary was Benny's mother's double-decker bus tour. The following morning the trio went downtown with Benny's mother in her Impala. For the first time, Benny's mother let Benny drive her through downtown traffic. Coincidentally, it was also the last time Benny's mother let her son drive her downtown through traffic, or anywhere for that matter, at least on that particular visit. From then on in, she had excuses planned. One time, she even offered the wheel to Ethan "just to be fair."

But, the drive wasn't all bad in Rachel Fishbein's view. She had been cut off by more aggressive drivers than she could count over the years. Served them right to have it done right back! Not to mention having it down back by a sixteen-year old kid who just got his license a week before.

Of course, the three rode the top of the double-decker bus. Benny tried bragging to a leggy blonde girl in a tight white top and short shorts sitting near the back.

"You know" said Benny, "if you're just visiting here, I can show you every sight you want to see in Toronto. In fact, my mom's the guide on the bus right here. Touring runs in the family. How about after this, you let me show you around the city for the next few days?

That pickup line was so bad, not only Ethan but _even Rory smirked_. Ethan figured that, put in Benny's shoes, _he'd_ introduce himself and mention his mom was the tour-guide. But stop there. Maybe something would come out of it. Yeah, right, Ethan reminded himself. He might just wait two years to ask the blonde out on a date?

The blonde didn't reject Benny right away. "If your mom's the tour guide, why are on the tour? Shouldn't you know the trip start-to-finish?"

"I live with my dad and my grandmother in Whitechapel" Benny explained, "I'm just visiting."

"Where the heck is Whitechapel?" asked the girl.

"North of Chatham and south of Sarnia, to the west of London and just east of the St. Clair River" said Benny.

"I'm surprised" said the girl sardonically, "how such a seemingly intelligent woman like your mother could have a geek from a hick town for a son. I can't tell if a guy like you spends his spare time spending video games or pitching horseshoes!"

"Uh, video games" Benny replied. "But Whitechapel's not . . . ."

"I was being rhetorical" the girl sneered, leaving her seat and going downstairs.

"She's on Benny's list" Benny growled

"She's on Ethan's list" Ethan replied, only half-joking. "There's a lot of things you can say about Whitechapel, but a "hick town" isn't one of them."

"Man, that girl deserves a good hour of worms-in-her-ears" Rory said.

"You serious, Rory?" asked Ethan, taken aback.

"Na" laughed Rory. "But it's a fun thought."

All three laughed.

As for the girl, Benny's mother had heard everything from her station at the front of the bus near the foot of the stairs. She exchanged looks with the driver, a middle-aged Sikh gentleman.

"If it were my son, I'd do it" he said. "It's within the company's policies too. I'll back you up. But though what your son and his friends mean about worms-in-her-ears . . . I don't know?"

"Oh, that's nothing" said Benny' mother, a little nervously. "But, thank you, I think you're right."

What this all meant was that Rachel Fishbein cooly told the blonde girl that she'd have to wait for the next bus.

"Because I rejected your son?" she scoffed.

"Abusing your fellow passengers and insulting your guide" she said, and all but kicked the girl off the bus.

* * *

The upshot was that Benny, Rory and even Ethan (he was in love with Sarah, but he wasn't dead!) could see the girl angrily bounce off. She was not only wearing short shorts, but very high heels.

Even so, Benny was a little embarrassed by his mother throwing out the girl; especially as, while the bus filled up, Ethan warned dryly "Don't hit on any more girls. You can't have your mom throw them all off the bus!"

"At least, we don't have to worry about you, buddy" Benny retorted. "Even if twenty magazine pin-up girls in bikinis went on the tour, you're so lovesick all you'd see is twenty Sarahs."

"Dude, Sarah's okay" said Rory defensively. "She's a real good friend _and_ part of Team Sabre."

"You've got to admit, sometimes Ethan goes _too far_!" Benny said.

"I'm not that bad" Ethan denied, but, on second thought, added loyally . . . and confirming Benny's opinion . . . "No pinup can compare with Sarah."

 _That_ was too much for even Rory. Rory and Benny made retching gestures.

Ethan reddened. Yeah, that was "too far." Almost as bad as that one line of Leslie Neilson's in _Forbidden Planet_ , the one that always made him crackup.

* * *

The tour itself went okay, the three looking around the sights as pointed out by Benny's mother. It did make Ethan realize what Sarah and his father had told him about how different a trip with Benny and Rory would be from a trip with Sarah. Ethan was sure Sarah (and Erica) would make a beeline for the _Eaton Centre_ and spend a day shopping there. Ethan was okay with hanging-out-in-the-mall with Sarah, but standing around stupidly while Sarah and Erica shopped was almost on par with worms-in-the-ears.

Sarah, Ethan was sure, would have gone to the _Art Gallery of Ontario_. Again, Ethan would have been okay going with her. But, yeah, Ethan wasn't going to beg Benny and Rory to look at abstracts until their eyes bugged out (Ethan, however, was okay with abstracts given his choice in T-shirts). Same thing with the theatres in Toronto. Unless one of them was showing some big science fiction production, Ethan wasn't the least bit interested as Rachel Fishbein enthused about them for the benefit of the other tourists. Ethan just wasn't, naturally, a theatre nerd. Way more science, math, computing . . . . engineering.

If Ethan had remembered his vision of several weeks ago, he would now learn what (just possibly) might lead him on that or a similar career path. Benny's mother, innocently enough. And Rory, through his two-year old top-of-the-line digital camera.

Rachel Fishbein pointed out _a lot_ of architecture. A lot of old buildings and new post-modern ones. The science fiction and future-loving friends preferred anything they figured looked "futuristic". Victorian architecture? Neo-gothic? Georgian? BORING!

The bus had stopped to let the tourists off who were only taking a 'half tour", a tour ending on Bay Street near Toronto's old and new city hall. Benny's mother, naturally enough, decided to go upstairs to visit her son during the stop.

"New city hall is awesome" Rory observed. "It looks like a launchpad for a flying saucer. I bet all the spaceports in the future are gonna look just like it!

"I don't think so" Ethan put in. "The saucer pads are going to be far away from the main airport. They have to be, because of the heat from the blastoff. And there's definitely going to be more than one launchpad. Besides, don't get me wrong, flying saucers are cool . . . but the most saucers are ever going to be . . . if we have them . . . are shuttles. It's probably going to be more like _Star Trek_. Come on Rory, you have a model of the _Enterprise. You know_ that's the way of the future!"

"I'm betting we'll be going with ships like the _Battlestar Galactica_ and the ragtag fugitive fleet!" Benny put in. "And pyramid-shaped buildings on our home world."

"No, dudes!" said Rory. "Every way that building it works as a space-port. If we have saucers as our main spacecraft . . . or something similar like the _Millennium Falcon_. . . or only as shuttles . . . our spaceports are gonna be just like this. They'll be so efficient taking off and landing, you won't need too many saucer pads. And the one in front! It's gonna be for VIPs. Speaking of that saucer, by the way, does it have a restaurant?

"No, Rory" Rachel smiled gently. "I believe that's where the council chambers are."

"Too bad" sighed Rory. "Means the _Flying Saucer_ where we had lunch was waaaaaay more awesome. But I'm still going to get a lot of pictures. Okay, I can't do good selfies with this camera, you mind taking some?"

Rachel obliged, and Rory got pictures of himself with a thumbs up, a salute, and a _Star Trek_ Vulcan salute. Everything except the victory sign, which Rory now despised.

"I never liked new city hall" admitted Rachel, as the two returned upstairs. "It belongs on the _Jetsons_ , but not in real life.

"You're kidding, Mom" said Benny. "Buildings like this are the coolest."

"It's very impractical" said his mother. "You'd have to go to the ground floor to get from one tower to the other. I also think it's horribly ugly. Now, look across the street at the beautiful old city hall. Now, that's a building!"

"Neo-gothic isn't it?" said Ethan politely.

"Close" said Rachel. "Richardson Romanesque, but much the same idea; both are revivals of medieval architecture. We'll be heading toward the provincial legislative building on Queen's Park soon, and it's much the same style as the old city hall. But, now, the old city hall, isn't it majestic? Sandstone cladding and with the clock tower in front? I always thought they should have built a nondescript annex behind for more office room, while keeping the old city hall as _the_ city hall for the major offices, meetings and functions."

"Well, the Parliament Buildings in Ottawa are neo-gothic" admitted Benny. "But still, new city hall is way cooler. Besides, the largest neo-gothic building in Whitechapel was the old masonic lodge.

"The masonic . . . ." started Benny's mother, before remembering what her son had told her of the masonic building and its fate. "Oh, the one that blew up? Never mind then, Benny."

* * *

As the tour began again, Rory looked through his photos.

"Man, if I ever build something . . . building buildings, towers, bridges and stuff looks like fun" said Rory. "And, you know, now the Rorster can do something big 'cause I don't have some dark secret or some crazy restraints holding me back. Yeah, it might be a fun job."

"If you can do what you want" said Benny dubiously. "You'll probably just end up taking orders while working out boring details in a three-walled cubicle."

"Nuh-uh" said Rory. "I'll work for myself. It's way cooler. Even if it's only to build boring houses for boring people . . . or I'll just find something else less boring and way exciting.

"Robotics engineer is where the future is, probably" Ethan. "Working on AI might be what I do with my life. Besides, there's also a lot of other stuff in tech that I'm cool with, if robotics or AI don't work out."

But Ethan considered what Benny had warned Rory about. Would Ethan mind being a anonymous guy in a big company, taking orders? Maybe a couple years ago, before Ethan learned about his seer powers and spent a couple years fighting monsters on and off! But Ethan wasn't sure. Even if he was the same guy he had always been, it sort hurt think he might be unidentifiable at work. But wouldn't Ethan be put on some sort of "creative team" of like-minded people to work on a group project? Yeah, but was that really so much better in the end? Or did Rory, of all people, have the right idea? Should Ethan find something where he could work for himself?

"I hear you, dude" said Benny, who being neither seer nor mind reader was merely replying to what Ethan said about working with technology. "But I've always been interested in paranormal investigation. Way more awesome."

"Benny" laughed Ethan. "You've only been interested in paranormal investigation since we found out there was a paranormal to investigate."

"That's almost two years, Ethan" said Benny. "Pretty much always!"

* * *

After the tour, the three said their goodbyes to Benny's mother. Benny, Ethan and Rory had tickets to a matinee ball game. The _Toronto Blue Jays_ were playing the _Detroit Tigers_. The _Jays_ played in the a domed stadium with a retractable roof called the "Sky Dome". In actuality, it had been renamed the "Rogers Centre" for a number of years. But Ethan, Benny and Rory called it the Sky Dome because, as Benny put it "Sky Dome is cool, Rogers Centre is lame."

Ethan didn't actually know much about baseball, but he got by thanks to his winning multiple World Series on _Mega Baseball All-Stars II_. It was the same with Benny. Still, anyone can watch a baseball game from the cheap seats. For Ethan and Benny, it was a change of pace, but okay.

Rory rarely followed any sports outside the Winter Olympics (when it was cool to see Canada win medals! And the record-setting thirteen gold at Vancouver! Sidney Crosby winning Men's Hockey gold in overtime! Most. Awesome. Olympics. Ever!). Baseball, especially, wasn't Rory's thing, especially up here where he could barely see the action! And the seats sucked! They were sitting _under_ the Jumbotron! So Rory couldn't even watch that.

But one cool thing happened. The dome was closed, but the sky was clear and it started to open. Rory had wanted to see it slowly close or slowly open, either or. Rory saw it open, and that was _awesome_.

But Rory, like Benny and Ethan, was disappointed when Detroit won 5-4. Yeah, Detroit was actually closer to Whitechapel than Toronto. But Rory, like Ethan and Benny, saw the _Jays_ as Canada's team.

Not only was Benny disappointed that the _Jays_ lost, he was also annoyed that his blue and white striped t-shirt, not to mention his hair, were full of mustard, ketchup, horseradish and cola. Annoyed but not angry.

The redhead sitting behind Benny had poured her hotdog and pop on him when Benny introduced himself at the bottom of the third inning.

"Is she on Benny's list?" Ethan joked.

"Definitely" said Benny.

But when the redhead returned with more hot dog and snacks, she tripped over one of the seats and fell into her food. That's why Benny wasn't angry! That showed her! And Benny didn't even have to do anything! Really!

"I'm telling you I didn't do it!" said Benny truthfully, as Rory and Ethan looked at him. "But . . . she's off Benny's list."

A hot girl with food all over her? What did that remind Ethan of? Ethan figured he might be a slightly obsessed after all. But this being his first time away from Sarah since they started dating, it was natural!

* * *

The next morning, the three walked to the Wilson Subway Station. Rory annoyed Ethan and Benny by insisting that they sit at the front of the lead car so that he could look out the front window and see what the line ahead looked like. It made little sense to Ethan, as after the first few stations the line went underground. But it did mean he could see the subway stations before the train rode into them, the people waiting for the trains on the platforms inclusive. Which was . . . something, Ethan supposed.

The trio left the subway at Union Station, and, with some reference to the maps on their smart phones, went via the enclosed Sky Walk to the CN Tower. The CN Tower had once been the "tallest freestanding structure in the world" but had been surpassed in recent years. It was still the tallest building in Canada, though. In North America, for that matter.

Benny and Ethan thought the CN Tower was awesome, no qualifications. The elevators, crawling up along the edges of the concrete tower like beetles, carried them to the main observation levels in one minute. That was about 1,100 feet off the ground. Another elevator ride and they were on the "SkyPod", at a total height of 1,465 feet, perched just below the antenna that topped the tower. From there, they could have a look across Lake Ontario and to the Niagara Peninsula to its south. Even the mist above Niagara Falls, over sixty miles away, was in their sight. Ethan, for his part, also looked towards Hamilton, on Hamilton Harbour and bifurcated by the Niagara Escarpment. He tried to guess where his uncle lived, and figured he supposed really good.

* * *

Some time later, Ethan, Benny and Rory returned to the main observation level. They decided walk on the special glass floor installed along the edges of the observation deck some years before. Benny and Rory tried jumping on the glass, as in fact the signs suggested.

"This is cool" said Ethan, looking downward over a thousand feet. "And I know the glass will hold us up. But I guess I'll pass on the jumping."

"You're just unnerved because of the height, pal" said Benny dismissively as they continued to walked around the tower and above the glass floor.

"If you weren't inside . . ." started Ethan, but violently shuddered as he touched a pair of binoculars installed for the use of the tourists.

Briefly, for little more than an instant, Ethan had a vision of a lopsided view of Toronto by night, from just about this level. Ethan didn't understand what that confusing glimpse meant, but it did result in Benny go on ahead, not noticing Ethan fall behind. Rory (alternatively jumping and taking photos) caught up.

"See anything?" asked Rory.

"Nothing but the view" said Ethan, still puzzling over _why_ he saw the view by night and little imaging the threat that awaited. "How do you like it, pal? I mean after all that flying?"

"Awesome. Now I get to have my picture taken with the view" said Rory, proudly looking through the files on his camera. "Whazzzzzzzzz up? The Rorster! You know, the city here and Whitechapel have way different views. And, dude, Ethan, are you seriously talking about flying? Pal, would you want to be turned into a bloodsucker just so you could go and fly?"

"NO!" said Ethan emphatically.

Rory clapped Ethan on the shoulder.

"Relax!" Rory said. "Dude, you're uptight sometimes! You and Benny got through to me that first time! Being a bloodsucker . . . sucks. When I fly again, it's going to be because I have a pilot's license and can afford my own plane. After a moment's pause, Rory added "Or a jet-pack. Will they ever become commercial? I guess we'll just have to wait for anti-gravity belts!"

"Jet packs have _got_ to become commercial" Ethan agreed. "They can't be held back forever."

At that moment Benny came back, jumping on the glass all the more.

"Guys! Guess what? There's a few spaces open on the Edge Walk! For only $250 a piece, we can be harnessed and walk around the edge of the tower. _And_ we get our photos and souvenir cards and everything! 1,100 feet up! It's the next best thing to skydiving!"

"I don't have $250" said Ethan.

"I just have it" admitted Rory, "but most of it's back at your mom's house. I just have the hundred bucks Mabel and Marleen gave me and twenty dollars from home. Man, having your picture taken outside the tower . . . outside the tower."

Rory, with a look of disappointment, decided to make a big sacrifice. He offered Benny his share of the reward money. Ethan, who didn't really feel up to walking around outside the tower, followed. Well, easy come, easy go! And, as long as they were there . . . _one of them_ ought to take the Edge Walk!

Rory and Ethan gave their friend the thumbs up sign as they watched him make the circuit with five others.

"Benny's fearless!" said Rory. "Being this high is way different when one false move can make you go _splat_ on the railroad tracks below."

"And then re-splatted as you're run over by the trains heading into and out of the station" Ethan added. "But it's not so tough with a harness! I mean . . . whoa . . . look at that girl"

"Yeah" said Rory. "And she's right behind Benny too."

Rory and Ethan ogled the tall brunette making the circuit behind Benny.

* * *

There was one thing Benny was genuinely fearless about. And that was girls. So it appeared that the third time was a charm with Benny. Benny would later claim he was "casual" about the whole thing, but it's inaccurate to describe an ear-to-ear grin as being consistent with a "casual" expression. And that's how Benny looked when he introduced Isabel to Rory and Ethan.

Isabel gripped Benny in a tight embrace and kissed him, right in front of his friends!

Benny wondered if the day could possibly get any better than that!

"I'll be going to eat in the revolving restaurant? Will your friends be joining us?" she asked Benny, in a sort of breathy voice.

Benny would have agreed, if the restaurant's cheapest meal hadn't cost $58 dollars plus tax. And where was he going to get that?

"No, I think we'll be having pizza at the aquarium" Benny replied. "Want to join us?"

"I don't think so" said Isabel, and her voice grew cold. But Benny didn't notice. Neither did Rory, nor even Ethan for that matter.

"Do you want to exchange numbers?" Benny asked.

"Of course!" said Isabel. "How can I forgot someone, no matter how plebeian, with whom I had such a unforgettable experience!"

"I'll call you tonight!" said Benny.

"Oh, you do that" said Isabel, who was now walking away and hadn't even bothered to turn her head around to reply.

"You hear that guys!" bragged Benny, after Isabel left and Rory and Ethan gave him high fives. "She said I was plebeian."

"Do you know what that means?" asked Ethan, who did know and realized it probably wasn't a good sign.

"It's Latin and it means I'm a wickedly cultured lover of Italian food" Benny said.

"She says you're low class for wanting to eat pizza at the aquarium" said Ethan.

* * *

The three left the tower, they headed back along the Sky Walk and had a look in _Ripley's Aquarium_. This time, all three agreed. It was cool, no qualifications. Especially the sharks.

Rory noticed Benny and Ethan staring at him while he was taking photos of the sharks. Benny stepped forward.

"Rory, we've got to ask. We know bloodsuckers don't really need air. Did you ever go underwater when you were un-dead? Without a scuba suit?"

"They said you could" explained Rory, not elaborating on who "they" were. "That after a couple minutes, your lungs filled with water, and it would be the most natural thing in the world to stay under. Like in a _Loony Tunes_ cartoon, where no one has any problem underwater . . . but without the bubbles going up to the surface! It sounded cool, I wanted to give it a shot! But I, uh, chickened out, guys. After only a few seconds. You don't know what it's like! Even if you're not really drowning, you feel like it. Way worse than any asthma attack I ever had."

"Do you think "they" were setting you up?" asked Ethan, guessing "they" were just some random bloodsuckers. "To drown yourself?"

"Don't know" said Rory, again taking pictures. "But it was too gnarly. I only tried it once. I heard somewhere, long after, vamps can't cross running water, but that can't be right? I never had trouble while I was un-dead."

"If it were true, bloodsuckers would be the world's easiest monster to kill" Benny pointed out, laughing. "A bloodsucker couldn't even cross the street because the water and sewer pipes would be in the way. The un-dead losers would be housebound."

"Too bad they don't really sleep in their coffins during the day" Ethan observed. "Wouldn't that be easy? Talk about a vulnerability!"

"Yeah" said Rory. "Ethan, you could probably find a way to use your seer power like a GPS, Benny could magically unlock any doors or tombs, and Sarah and I could take turns staking them. Boo yeah! One, two, three . . . vampires gone."

* * *

Last on their itinerary for the day was the Canada Walk of Fame some blocks away. Basically a copy of the Hollywood walk, but Canadian. First, the three went about their patriotic duty. Ethan, Benny and Rory each had their picture taken with the sidewalk stars of hockey greats Gordie Howe and Wayne Gretzky.

But, naturally, being geeks, Rory, Ethan and Benny were dying to have their photo taken by the star of William Shatner, that is to say Captain Kirk of Star Trek fame. Then there was Lorne Green, Commander Adama on the original Battlestar Galactica. That was Benny's favourite sci-tv series. But with Lorne Green's star, Benny had to wait behind a number of Bonanza fans that had decided to show up just before him. Ethan, for his part, was eager to have a photo taken by Leslie Neilson's star; famous for the Naked Gun films, Airplane, and, of course, Forbidden Planet.

* * *

The three again checked in with Benny's mother to ride home with her. Some time after supper, Ethan went downstairs and phoned Sarah. He updated her about the foiled robbery at the _Flying Saucer_.

" _Five months_ of worms-in-the-ears?" she said. "Okay, Ethan, I guess it's all fair."

Erica was ostensibly surfing the net with her smartphone, but really listening in. Sarah _had_ decided to get her revenge on her BFF for the "vampire restaurant incident", and did in fact twist Erica's arm and wheedle her into watching _Forbidden Planet_ at Sarah's house.

To Erica's surprise, she didn't mind it half-so-much as she pretended. Erica found the line where the flying-saucer captain (Leslie Neilson) told the scientist (Walter Pidgeon) that he and the scientist's daughter (Ann Francis) had "bonded body and soul" to be unbelievably romantic. Sarah didn't tell Erica that she and Ethan had laughed-out-loud at that part of the movie.

"Five months of worms-in-the-ears?" Erica said approvingly. "I didn't think Benny had it in him!"

"Ethan and his friends "thwarted" a robbery, as Ethan puts it" Sarah explained, although still on the phone with Ethan. "They punished the robbers. Okay . . . Ethan says they also pantsed and treed them."

"Once a geek, always a geek" joked Erica, before frowning as she remembered that _she_ had once been a geek.

Sarah listened as Ethan told her about the CN Tower and the Edge Walk. In Ethan's telling, Ethan, like Rory, had given up his share of Mabel and Marleen's reward to Benny . . . although Ethan had wanted to go himself.

"I wish I could have gone" Ethan lied, "It must be fun being outside in the air, a thousand feet up."

Those words made Ethan shudder.

"Not as much as you'd think" said Sarah, back in Whitechapel. "And it's _definitely_ not worth $250 to walk along the outside of a tower."

"It was awesome!" insisted Ethan.

"Maybe I'm not a good judge" Sarah shrugged.

"Of what?" asked Erica.

"Benny spent $250 to go on this Edgewalk thing at the CN Tower" Sarah explained. "The guys pooled their cash."

"A fool and his money" Erica observed irritably. "Or three geeks and their money, same difference. Those morons hate vampires, but yet they want to go up in the air like them. I _should_ be saying like us, but, you know."

"I know what _you_ think" Sarah said patiently, before, as she continued to listen to Ethan, exclaiming. "Benny's got a girl! Named Isabel."

"BENNY got a girl?" said Erica.

"They met on the Edge Walk" Sarah relayed. "She kissed Benny . . . but she was upset that Benny offered her pizza instead of taking her to the revolving restaurant."

"Who wouldn't be?" said Erica.

"Didn't you guys realize what was going on?" asked Sarah, ignoring Erica. "Ethan, you're really dense about this stuff, aren't you?"

Ethan, on his end, frowned as Sarah explained to him what she thought of Benny's "relationship" with Isabella. Ethan did end up smiling when Sarah warmly wished him goodbye, complete with an "I love you". Even Erica's retching noises in the background couldn't spoil that!

* * *

After the call, Ethan wondered if he should break the news to Benny. Sarah had pointed out that Isabel only went for Benny _after_ Benny had paid for the Edge Walk with $250 in cash, using three hundred-dollar bills. Isabel had also expected Benny to take her to the revolving restaurant, quickly making her exit when he didn't. It didn't matter, according to Sarah, that Isabel had given Benny her cell number. It was obviously a fake.

Sarah was right. Benny walked downstairs and collapsed onto his Murphy Bed, which, to Ethan's surprise, jolted back into the wall. Ethan opened the door, and jumped back as the bed fell back onto the floor.

"That was awesome!" said Benny, who tried to get the bed to do it again, but failed.

"I thought that only happened in the movies" Ethan said.

"Yeah" said Benny. "Too bad Rory missed seeing it." Then remembering his disappointment, Benny added, "Too bad I won't see Isabel again."

"She gave you a fake number?" asked Ethan.

"Yeah, how did you know?" asked Benny.

"Just a guess" said Ethan.

"Yeah, you know she really wanted to be my girlfriend" said Benny regretfully. "But she must have felt that because she lives in Oakville and I live in Whitechapel, we couldn't do the whole long-distance thing. And I'll be gone in another week-and-a-half."

"How do you know that?" asked Ethan, perplexedly.

"Dude!" said Benny. "The number she gave me, it was of a pizzeria in Oakville! That means she lives in Oakville. And since she knows I love pizza, she gave me the number of a pizzeria! Put them together, it can only mean one thing. She's crazy about me but knows the relationship won't work and knows we can't meet again. I mean, did you see how she kissed me?"

"Yeah" said Ethan, giving Benny a high five.

"But I've got to strike again while I'm on fire" said Benny, "So tomorrow is beach day! I'm one for three so far. That's way better than Whitechapel."

"At home" observed Ethan, "you're something like zero for a hundred."

"Haha" Benny retorted, "Rory figures I'm right. He's upstairs getting one of my mom's tour pamphlets and my grandma's old beach gear. I told him to look for . . . .

"Toronto's busiest beach" said Rory, waving the tourist pamphlet while also stumbling under the weight of a few beach blankets and a beach umbrella. "That's Woodbine Beach. Pamphlet says i'ts favoured by teenagers and young people. Mostly because of the volleyball court and the open-air Olympic-sized swimming pool."

"They have an open-air swimming pool at the beach?" scoffed Ethan. "Talk about redundant!"

"Toronto's busiest beach" said Benny, "favoured by teenagers and young people, means the beach with the hottest and largest variety of chicks. And with me going one for three, it's going to be awesome."

"And luck's contagious" said Rory. "If Benny gets one of the Toronto beach babes, I ought to get one too."

"Yeah, it will be cool" Ethan agreed.

* * *

When Ethan went to bed, he thought about what kind of beach he would really like to visit. One near home. An hour's drive away from Whitechapel, a quiet beach not a busy one. On Lake Huron, not Lake Ontario. And, of course, with Sarah. Ethan would be going for his G2 license in a couple months. He could drive Sarah himself (that was way cooler than having his girlfriend drive him).

When Ethan fell asleep, he dreamt that he had gone to the beach with Sarah. Sarah was busy rubbing sunblock gently into his back.

"That's awesome" Ethan told her languidly. "I've got to be covered, otherwise I burn like a marshmallow. Almost a bloodsucker, really. Well, not really. Could you imagine that, vamps catching the sun on the beach!"


	10. At the Beach

**At the Beach**

Benny thought it would be uncool to have his grandma drive him and his friends to Woodbine Beach. For that was what Irene offered to do. Ethan figured as uncool as that might be, it would be even less cool to lug all their stuff by way of bus and subway. Rory was thinking that he'd impress the girls on the beach with a totally awesome sandcastle, so he wasn't too much concerned either way.

But Benny was right. He knew his grandmother. If Irene fought through the city traffic (or accompanied Benny as _he_ ploughed through it) all the way to the beach, she was going to change her mind about "the crowded sand" and camp out underneath a large beach umbrella. And whatever scruples Benny had making passes at girls while driving with Ethan's father, he didn't have any inclination to try it in front of his grandmother.

"Suit yourself" Irene complained. "Be stubborn and pull all your gear across the city on the bus on subway. Don't say I didn't tell you how much trouble you'll be causing yourself!"

It wasn't so bad, at least to Ethan's way of thinking. The three had taken hiking backpacks to stuff their gear. And, although they annoyed several Torontonians by hauling a couple of beach umbrellas along on the subway and buses, the trip went without a hitch.

Besides, Ethan got to wear his crocodile-skin hat and Rory his crocodile-tooth necklace.

The beach was crowded, as Benny had hoped. It meant a great view, partly of the lake but mostly of the "bikini babes", as Benny called them. Unfortunately, Benny's bad luck with girls continued. By Ethan's count, Benny had buckets of sand dumped on him by four different "bikini babes".

"Maybe there's something wrong with your pickup lines?" Ethan guessed.

"What would you know about it?" Benny retorted.

Benny borrowed a surfboard, figuring that, just as in the movies, girls went for surfers. The only problem was that surfing on Lake Ontario was something you could only do when it was windy. Most of the time the surf was flat and the waves ridiculously puny. However, Benny swam out on his board and did, at least, attract the attention of a few curious well-wishers.

"Frack!" muttered Benny. "If only I hadn't left behind my magic book! I could have thrown up some waves, shown off some awesome surfing and gotten all the babes!"

Benny didn't consider how difficult it was to magically "make waves". Nor did he consider that he didn't know how to surf. Benny figured he could just stick his feet to the board with another spell!

Rory had better luck at getting girls to ooh and ah over his totally awesome sandcastle. Unfortunately for Rory, they were six-year-old girls. Not to mention the several other little kids who wanted to look at his crocodile-tooth necklace.

"It wasn't what the Rorster wanted" Rory told Ethan in a disappointed tone, as he dug a moat around his sandcastle, "but at least I'm making them happy. It's like my music as MC Monster Bat. I like making people feel good. Even if it's only little kids. But _buddy_ , I wish a bikini babe would go for me!"

"Rory" said Ethan encouraging, "if I can have Sarah as my girlfriend, it's only a matter of time before you and Benny get your own girls."

"Yeah" said Rory, thinking, "if even you could work up the courage to suck face with Sarah, for me getting a girlfriend _should_ be a piece of cake!"

Ethan gave Rory his shooting-imaginary-lasers-from-his-eyes-glare. But then again, Ethan figured Rory had a point. Ethan thought happily of his dream the night before, and how much better it would be to be on an isolated Lake Huron beach alone with Sarah.

But this was okay! Ethan got in a little swimming. Later in the day, when Benny had given up on surfing and Rory had thrown in the trowel on sandcastle-building, the trio relaxed just watching the bikini-clad babes go by. Relaxing and just watching and judging which bikini-clad beach babes had the skimpiest bathing suits or the best figures. Well, the three were as relaxed as guys could get watching bikini-clad beach babes. Or, in the case of Benny and Rory, hoping the bikini-clad beach babes noticed _them_.

Ethan and Rory, although not vampires, had to be careful to use sun-screen. Rory, proud that he could be hours in the sun without risking bursting into flames, _still_ wasn't going to invite an ordinary human sunburn (he had suffered a bad one a few weeks before, one that had still not entirely faded).

As for Ethan, he had been given sunscreen bottles as presents by both Sarah and Rory . . . they were both happy to get rid of their now unneeded surplus. Ethan really needed it. The last time Ethan had a sunburn he looked ridiculous. Ethan remembered a girl saying to her friend "Look at him! His hair is so black, but his face is bright pink!"

Benny, to Ethan and Rory's annoyance, made his usual cracks about the two toasting like marshmallows.

"I mean, look at you, best bud" laughed Benny. "hiding under my grandma's beach umbrella. And Rory, dude, at least you're out in the sun . . . but you're dripping in sunscreen."

"I'm smart enough to enjoy the rays without getting burnt" Ethan retorted.

"Well at least I can be under the sun now" said Rory. "And it's a UV Index of 10, dude."

"You guys are almost as bad as those crazies over there" Benny continued, looking around at a strange procession that had created a minor stir among several beach goers.

Ethan and Rory turned to see what was going on. It was a hot and smoggy day, about as hot and humid as it could get in Ontario. 100 degrees Fahrenheit, or 38 degrees Celsius. But here came three young men in long-sleeved clothes, sunglasses and broad-rimmed straw hats. The tallest of them, likely still a teenager, was carrying a beach umbrella over the other two. He acted like some sort of servant. Ethan observed that this role was a sort of insult to the guy; the teen looked humiliated and seemed to be silently cursing.

The other two men made their ways to beach recliners set under another umbrella . . . some distance away from the three geeks. Of those two, one was clean-shaven, the other had a goatee. Ethan felt sure he had seen the clean shaven man somewhere before. But the other one, the man with a goatee, Ethan recognized in an instant. Although Ethan had only ever met him briefly, Ethan couldn't forget that murdering, fracking jerk. Ethan was dumbstruck. What were the chances of him showing up _here_?

As for Rory, the clean-shaven man also looked familiar. Where had Rory seen him? But Rory wasn't good at seeing through disguises, after all he had once fallen for a girl named "Bennica". But Rory _knew_ he knew this guy, and Rory knew that he really didn't like him. Rory concentrated his usually overexcited mind, and thought. It was important, somehow! Rory knew that at least!

As for Benny, he realized that his friends had fallen silent. What was with those weirdos who had just arrived at the beach? Maybe they were just photosensitive? They were albinos? They didn't look it? Wait, wait, wait! When was the last time that he, Benny, had been reaching for a "logical" explanation! And what had he been trying to explain away? Ethan's crazy idea that . . . .Then they were . . . they couldn't be! Over here! On the beach on a sunny summer's day!

The teenager in the straw hat was visibly cursing about something. Before sitting down in a recliner of his own, he took off the hat to wipe the sweat from his brow. And then, Benny noticed what looked like steam rising from the guy's forehead. Benny caught a flash of the demonic yellow in the eye, although the guy bit his mouth shut to avoid showing off his fangs to all and sundry. The sun was literally burning him, as the un-dead teen put his hat quickly back on. Definitely a bloodsucker.

Three crazy bloodsuckers but three bloodsuckers nonetheless. Usually vampires were okay in the sun, but, as Erica had once put it, on a day with a UV index about 10 (or one where the Maztec Sky Queen was trying to end the world) a vamp's skin could be turned into fondue.

Benny wasn't surprised to see the un-dead teen opening a bag, pulling out a bottle, and plastering some more sunblock on his face.

As for Ethan, he finally turned to Benny and Rory and gave a low whistle of surprise.

"You know who that guy with the goatee is?" he asked rhetorically.

"A bloodsucker" said Rory and Benny together.

"Not just any" said Ethan. "He's the guy who owned the vampire restaurant back in Whitechapel."

"You sure?" asked Benny.

"I can't forget the guy who told Sarah that I was lean but healthy" said Ethan angrily. "Or who asked her if she wanted me seasoned!"

"You know what!" said Benny, snapping his fingers and accidentally sending off a shock of magic. "Uh, yeah . . . that's cool, but I've got to be careful about that. Yeah, but, that guy. You know Erica used to work for him! He's the guy whose contact info she probably kept. I bet he was the one who invited her over promising to revamp her!"

"But wanting to drain her dead in revenge for the vampires losing Whitechapel!" said Rory. "Man, what a fracking, bloodsucking creep! But dudes, who the heck is that other guy? Not the umbrella man, but his boss. He looks familiar, but I can't place him."

"It's too bad I can't either" said Ethan, also wracking his brain. "I think . . . he was wearing different clothes when I saw him."

"Well, he's gotta be from the Whitechapel chapter of un-dead creatures of the night" observed Benny sardonically. "He doesn't look like one of Jesse's gang, or Little Miss Fang Fang's guards. But . . . I think I saw that guy with Little Miss Fang Fang!"

"He's one of the guys on the vampire council" Ethan said with surprise. "That's who he is!"

"Now I recognize him" said Rory. "I can't believe it. I must have been pulled before them almost a dozen times."

"Well, it's not as if any of them aside from Little Miss Fang-Fang were all that important" observed Benny. "But why are they here?"

The three watched the vampires. The goateed man was speaking to the ex-councilman, and pointing at one of the bikini babes. And then Ethan realized why the ex-councilman had been a councilman. The vampire raised his shades, his eyes glared yellow, and the babe he was staring at went to stand at the side of his goateed friend. Ethan wasn't pleased to see the ex-restauranteur grin evilly at his catch.

"She's hypnotised" said Benny in surprise. "I thought only Jesse and Little Miss Fang Fang were powerful enough to pull it off."

"Mind controlled" said Rory, disgusted, remembering that he had spent his last hours as a vampire under Anastasia's spell.

"It's supposed to be called glamouring" Ethan observed.

"Just FYI, I think that's a stupid name for it" Benny interjected. "Sounds like something a girl does at a beauty saloon."

"I think it's called a salon" said Ethan. "But I guess this explains what they're doing here."

"Same thing as us" said Benny wryly. "Looking for bikini babes. Only we want to watch them, hopefully get a few phone numbers and dates. They want to drink their blood. _A bikini babe banquet_."


	11. Council of War

**Council of War**

Ethan, Benny and Rory, as quickly and quietly as possible, made their way as far as they could from the vampires while still keeping them in view. On their newly claimed bit of sand, the three friends lowered their voices to almost a whisper. Although the vampires were well across the beach, and separated from the three by a large crowd of beach-goers, they did have un-dead super-hearing.

Neither Benny, Rory nor Ethan could recall the teenager, or what looked like a teenager. But then again, Jesse's gang had been full of that "type", not to mention the fact Anastasia's henchmen had also looked similar.

"What are we going to do about them?" Ethan said thoughtfully. "I mean, we've even been all over the place with what we did with the un-dead in Whitechapel? But what're we going to do about these guys in Toronto?

"We got to do something" said Rory. "I mean, Team Sabre can't just let them eat the beach babes. Man, we really should have brought our light sabres!"

While they were talking, the teenage vampire had the councillor reel in a tall, curvy blonde.

"Team Sabre minus Sarah" Ethan pointed out. "But even Sarah couldn't kick all three of their butts herself. And it's still going to take a little while for her to get a black belt in karate."

"We don't have our weapons!" said Benny miserably. "I don't even have my magic book! The spells I know are okay for pawning garden-variety evil, but those guys?"

"For all we know all the vampires in Whitechapel have fled to Toronto" said Ethan. "It's certain death to take them _all_ on. Dude, Benny, are there any spell masters in Toronto?"

"There _probably_ are" said Benny. "But, uh, I don't know any."

"How about Doug, the scare-finder?" said Rory eagerly. "I think he's from Toronto. We can go on a vampire-hunting adventure with the master! And I don't even have to hide anything from him anymore! Just us and Doug versus the un-dead!"

For an instant, both Ethan and Benny's eyes lit up. But then reality set in, and the memory of how, in order to save Sarah worldwide notoriety and humiliation, they were forced to sabotage Doug and destroy his television show.

"Ethan and I are on the outs with him" observed Benny disappointedly. "Besides, the guy gave up scare-finding and _probably sold all his gear_. He has that awesome prank show, but, uh, it doesn't help us."

"Besides, Whitechapel bloodsuckers, Team Sabre's fight" said Ethan. "But how are we going to do it? We have _at least_ to save the bikini babes, even if we can't take on all the vamps in Toronto!"

The three didn't have any holy water with them. None of the three were members of a church in Toronto where they could stock up on the supply made available for churchgoers . . . as Ethan and Benny did back home. While Benny's grandmother Irene had objects of religious significance in the Jewish faith that would repel or destroy vampires, Benny pointed out to Ethan that they'd have to go back to his grandmother and explain everything from start to finish. To Ethan and Rory's questions about "quietly borrowing" them (or "quietly borrowing" holy water, for that matter), Benny replied harshly. Although Benny never seemed to have had any scruples about "quietly borrowing" his Grandmother Evelyn's _magical_ things, Benny was quick to point out the stupidity of "quietly borrowing" anything holy and hoping something good would come of it.

"I, uh, didn't think that idea through" admitted Rory embarrassedly. "But, uh, how about staking. There's some driftwood on the beach."

Ethan didn't think he had ever literally staked a vampire with an actual chunk of wood (light sabres didn't count as staking!) Besides, there was a big problem with the whole approach.

"If we stake the vampires, with everybody watching, we're going to jail" Ethan said. "This isn't the _Westdale Theatre_. This is a beach in broad daylight. We'll have a lot of eye witnesses swearing that it's murder."

"Dude, their bodies will burn up" said Benny, making a sound-effect in imitation of sizzling. "Everybody will figure out that they weren't human!"

"So what?" said Ethan. "We're still going to be the talk of the country, maybe the world. Just how did three guys from a small town come to stake three vampires on a Toronto beach. And how did they know vampires existed?"

"It might mean babes and billions" suggested Benny, sharing a fist bump with Rory.

"And a lot of questions from a lot people" Ethan added desperately. "I don't know how your grandmother Irene will take the news; but I don't think your grandmother Evelyn will like her privacy being destroyed. Me, I appreciate how being a seer helps us fight monsters, but I'm not ready to give up my life to turn full-time fortune teller. Because I'm betting that's what people are going to expect from me! I mean, guys, that's what I'd think I was if I heard someone was a seer, out of the blue! I'm not sure if Rory would like to write a book, and call it _I was a Teenaged Vampire for Two Years or How to Drink Rats' Blood and Like It_. I know that's the last thing Sarah would want to do. And let's not even bring up the fact that government scientists are going to invade Whitechapel and have their eyes on us wherever we go for the rest of our lives."

"We've got to save the chicks" said Benny irritably.

"Even if we can't destroy the vamps, we have to save their lives" agreed Ethan. "And if we can make this an un-dead free zone we've got to try. I mean, these things don't usually happen by coincidence. I mean, what are the chances of randomly running into bloodsuckers the one day we go on the beach? It must have some meaning. Like when Sarah _just happened_ to be flung against my door."

"We run into three killer vampires and you _still_ can't stop thinking of Sarah!" joked Benny, before adding "Yeah, buddy, you may have a point there."

"Or it's just really bad luck" said Rory, and, recalling the worst mistake of his life, added wryly "like being the human guest at a vampire-party bad luck."

"That eventually worked out" shrugged Benny. "Maybe this . . . ."

"No, guys" said Ethan, his eyes lighting up. "You've just given me an idea. The vampire councilman, he's the only one who really knows Rory. _And he probably doesn't know Rory's been cured_."

"The vampire council had that whole vampire-comradery thing going on" said Benny, picking up on Ethan's thought, "well, most of the time. It means that Rory can just walk-up to them and can find out what's going on. If they think he's one of them, they won't blame him for being pwned in Whitechapel. I mean, to a point. I mean, we hope. Meanwhile, Ethan, you and me can find a way to break-up the bloodsuckers and the bikini babes."

"Why can't you just use your seer power?" said Rory, whose eagerness to take on the un-dead had suddenly evaporated. Not only was Rory risking his life (in more than one way!), he wasn't even going to get the privilege of rescuing the chicks!

"Three vampires, one seer" said Ethan. "Maybe I can learn something if I sneak up close enough, but it's no guarantee. I can hold one off if I go into his mind, but his friends will settle me for sure."

"Yeah" said Rory desperately, rubbing his neck by the jugular vein . . . where Erica had once bitten him. "But if they find me out . . . they'll drain me or just bite me. I just got out of it. Buddies, come on!"

"They bite you" said Benny with a shrug, "you take a quick trip back to Whitechapel and the dark energy and curse'll be drained away. We have a cure, for the next few years anyway."

"I understand" said Ethan, more sympathetically, and in turn absentmindedly rubbing his wrist above his radial artery. "remember, if Sarah hadn't saved me I would have been un-dead. Besides, Rory, dude. Remember, you, me, Benny and Sarah . . . we'll never be vampires. That's one vision I had you can take to the bank."

"Wait a minute" said Benny. "They might just know Rory's no longer one of them. They've learned by now that any vampire who stays in Whitechapel gets cured and ages to their natural age . . . and dies and oozes into slime, if they're old enough."

All three made a disgusted look at the mention of "oozing".

"Well, they won't think I've been cured if I'm here in Toronto and not Whitechapel" said Rory reluctantly.

"That's what we're hoping for" explained Ethan. "If they think you've fled with the rest they won't blame you for losing our town.

"They'll just think you're afraid to go home" observed Benny. "They've got no idea why you're here instead, living it up as a human being. Most vampires aren't smart enough to realize what they've sacrificed."

Benny realized that he said too much, given Rory's confused expression. A couple weeks before Evelyn had explained vampire tradition held that vampires should only be turned by choice; the curse was so evil that trapping an innocent person into being a bloodsucker was, well, as Benny understood it, _a great disturbance in the force_ as per _Star Wars_. A good vampire was such a freak of nature that it was impossible to have a good vampire for very long; a person just had to be cured of being a good vampire . . . one way or another.

For various reasons, this was a conversation neither Benny nor Ethan (nor Evelyn Weir) wanted to have with Rory.

"But what about Erica's message to the restaurant-guy?" asked Benny quickly. "She could have told him that Rory and Sarah had their lives restored to them. If bloodsucker-restaurant-guy wanted to drain Erica as punishment for our role in making Whitechapel an un-dead-free zone, he's really going to want to kill Rory. Bloodsucker-council dude knows us three our friends."

"Why can't you two pretend to be the vampires?" Rory complained. "I mean, two years of the real thing for me, what's at most a couple hours of being fake vampires for you?"

Ethan considered the mater. Rory had a point! But could it work? If not all three of them, maybe just Ethan and Rory? And how could Ethan talk to the vampires, without them trying to kill him?

"We tried once" Benny observed, derailing Ethan's train of thought. "It didn't work, remember?"

"First thing we do, is check Erica didn't spill the beans" Ethan said.

Ethan grinned as he picked up his smart phone and quickly surfed through it.

"Remember when I broke through the encryption on Erica's cell-phone?" Ethan said, grabbing his crocodile-skin hat. "To catch those mutant crocodiles? I don't think she's changed it yet. So I can read the email she probably sent that un-dead guy."

"She should have been true to her natural geekitude" observed Benny. "But, dude, it's not like you to hack into someone's phone."

"Maybe she shouldn't have suggested I try out her friend's vampire restaurant?" joked Ethan. "But I guess, buddies, that was also for the best? We did save what probably would have been the place's last victims. And Erica just postponed Sarah and me becoming girlfriend and boyfriend for one day! But this is the only way we can find out if Rory can go undercover with the vamps. If we called up Erica and asked her, not only wouldn't she tell us but . . . ."

"She'll make a beeline here" interrupted Benny, "demanding that one of the three vampires make her a glamorous immortal again. And try to arm-twist us into helping her!"

Ethan managed to hack the phone. Carelessly enough, Erica hadn't bothered to replace it. Ethan looked to the date in question. Sure enough, they were right! Erica had contacted the vampire restauranteur. Improbably, his name was Gus.

"Hi Gus" Erica had written. "Because of Stern, the lucifractor, and the geeks, my BFF and I had our immortality destroyed. Can you believe it? You can't stay in Whitechapel and keep your fangs because there's no dark energy! And you know Jesse and Anastasia are now truly dead from that drain? I was with them when it happened, but unconscious. The two had their immortality stripped from them, causing them to age, die, and decay. But never mind them! I need you to restore my gift and return me to your exalted realm! Will you, Gus?"

"The geeks have a name" Benny said dryly.

"That's actually good" Ethan observed. "Erica put herself at the scene, but she didn't mention anything about the geeks being there. Maybe the bloodsuckers just blamed her because she admitted being at the scene? But let's see what Gus said!"

"You think Gus is short for something?" asked Rory. "What kind of name for an evil restauranteur is Gus. Maybe it's Augustus or Gustavus or something cool like that?"

Ethan looked at Rory thoughtfully. The guy had serious trouble focussing! Anyway, Ethan read the next email.

Gus replied "Sure, Erica. Come over for a bite! You'll want a more romantic spot this time. I'll meet you on the Canadian side of the Honeymoon Bridge in Niagara Falls, by the pedestrian turnstile. Midnight. I'll bite you on the middle of the bridge, looking towards the falls."

"I bet that made Erica happy" said Ethan coldly. "It reads like something out of _Dusk_. On the middle of the bridge? After she was drained dead, Gus would have probably thrown her off the Honeymoon Bridge and into the river."

"Dude!" said Benny. "I was born in Niagara Falls. The Honeymoon Bridge fell down in the thirties, knocked down by a massive ice jam below the falls. Everyone knows that!"

"Cool" said Rory. "I wish I could have seen that!"

"Literally cool" Ethan agreed. "And awesome! But Gus probably gets his bridges confused. What's a few decades and bridges to a leech like him? He must mean the bridge that's there now."

Benny shrugged. "I guess Rory's all clear to spy on them. Gus the Gourmet knows nothing."

But Ethan had changed his mind. He wasn't going to sit back and let Rory go among the bloodsuckers alone. Even if "alone" meant on a public beach! Rory had been more thoughtful these last several weeks, but he was still the same gullible and over-excitable guy. Who knows what crazy things he might to do or say to give himself away? It was time that Ethan put his naturally (but not supernaturally) pasty complexion to good use. Sure, Ethan would have to invent a whopper to try to deflect blame for his role in the best thing to happen to Whitechapel in nearly two-hundred years. But Ethan wasn't going to risk sacrificing his second-to-best friend.

Besides . . . the vampires didn't know Ethan could now _sometimes_ pickup visions just by getting close enough to his subject. And with Ethan's sunglasses on, the bloodsuckers shouldn't be able to see his pupils dilate or his eyeballs illuminated with that wonky glow.


	12. The Evil Three

**The Evil Three**

" _Secret . . . Agent Man. Secret . . . Agent Man. They've given you a number and taken away your name_ " sang Rory.

"You've gotta keep up our cover, Rory" warned Ethan. "Any moment now we'll be walking into earshot.

Truthfully, the _James Bond Theme_ was going through Ethan's head. Only Ethan was smart enough to keep it to himself!

* * *

The fact that Rory wasn't going in against the bloodsuckers alone had cheered him up considerably. There wasn't so much risk now, in Rory's mind, that he was going in with a pal and fellow Team Sabre mainstay! Too bad Benny was staying behind, but he would be listening in on a smart-phone to all the dialogue.

There was the issue of Ethan and Rory's cover-story to get the un-dead into conversation. Ethan came up with what he thought was a brilliant cover, claiming to have been turned into a vampire and thinking he had to flee Whitechapel under threat of death. But wrack their brains as they might, they couldn't think up a believable explanation for Benny having been likewise turned into a vampire. Benny's idea, Erica having fallen hopelessly in with him and bit him, just didn't seem to be believable, somehow! Well, absent another love potion that is.

But this might be Ethan's first opportunity for taking down the un-dead through espionage. _The name was Morgan. Ethan Morgan_. Okay, Ethan realized that he wasn't James Bond. But just like the time he had been sidekick to Doug the Scare Finder, or played Crocodile Hunter, it was fun to pretend.

If only Ethan had a tuxedo with him, and was going to spy on the vampires in a casino while playing baccarat . . . whatever the frack that was!

No baccarat, but plenty of bikini babes. It _was_ like a James Bond movie. Ethan's favourite was _Moonraker_ , because that was the one where Bond went into space. Ethan might have been the only guy in the world whose favorite was _Moonraker_.

Benny, on the other hand, had a soft spot for _The Man With The Golden Gun_. Ethan knew precisely why Benny liked _The Man With The Golden Gun_. However, all Rory knew about it was that it had something to do with the punishment Benny's grandmother Evelyn inflicted on him for the "Lawn of the Dead" incident.

In Rory's mind, Rory _was_ Bond, Benny was Q, Ethan was Felix Lieter _._ And Ethan and Rory were undercover! Double-0-Rorster! In the back of his mind, Rory realized it was lucky he felt that way. Otherwise it would have been depressing to go in . . . even for the Rorster.

To go undercover, Rory had to give his digital camera to Benny for safekeeping . . . bloodsuckers not only didn't appear on photographs, they usually didn't care for taking them either. After replacing his shirt, socks and shoes, Rory also had to plant the ball-cap he bought at the Skydome squarely down on his head to block off the sun. He had to put on the shades he had usually worn outside when he was a vampire. And Rory had to put on even more sun-screen, especially since he was forced to hide the fact he just had a sunburn a couple weeks before. Benny reminded Rory he couldn't take any of his garlic cloves with him, the un-dead could sniff it out in an instant. Not to mention Ethan warned Rory to slouch, to hide how much he had grown the instant the bloodsucking curse on him was destroyed. Well, what the heck! Rory was going undercover! If anything, it was (yet another) reminder how much being a vampire sucked and how lucky Rory was to be cured.

Ethan, dressed in crocodile-skin hat, sunglasses, and likewise dripping in sun-screen, agreed. Being a vampire sucked. And that wasn't even taking account the no-reflection, no-photographs, fangs, yellow-eyes and living-off-blood part.

Benny was disappointed that he was staying behind. But, really, they did need to know what the vamps were doing. And hopefully, Benny's powers wouldn't be exposed . . . or he'd get it from his Grandma Evelyn. But Benny was even willing to risk that . . . in case things went wrong. Plan B would have Benny disrupt things with the fireball spell Stern had hypnotized him into doing a couple months ago . . . and Benny had since learned to do for himself. Yeah, fireballs meant exposure. But, when it came to saving Ethan, Rory and the bikini babes . . . well, Bond had an exploding pen, Benny had magical fireballs. Way cooler!

All in all, the three's planning and preparation took over a half-an-hour.

* * *

Time was a problem. Ethan worried that the vampires would soon be finished collecting bikini babes for their buffet and be off. And then there would be no finding them. Benny figured that if _he_ were them, he'd stay around and hypnotise twenty girls. Ethan wondered what Benny would do with twenty girls. Rory reminded them that vampires who drank too much blood get gassy.

"And stink up the place like a tire fire" said Benny, remembering Sarah's overindulgence on blood.

But the vamps stuck around. For one thing, the vampire councilman seemed to be on the lookout for something special. For another, "Gus the Gourmet" kept switching girls. Ethan and his friends looked on incredulously as the murderous jerk had his more powerful friend "glamour" one girl over after another. When he found one he liked better than the one before, he had his lucky ex-blue plate special released. Where, Ethan observed, they looked dazed for a moment, before returning to their normal activities.

By the time Ethan and Rory had finally gotten their disguises together, the vampire councilman had found what he was looking for. Identical twin bikini babes. Identical twin, five-foot two, blue-eyed and red haired bikini babes.

The vampire councilman was free to be advised by his fellow bloodsuckers, out in the open. After all, nobody wanted to sit close enough as to be able to eavesdrop those weirdos. Next to the bikini babes, yes . . . but next to the vamps, definitely not. The teenage vampire had a strange habit of contorting his face, and baring his teeth at anyone who looked at "his" blonde.

This suited the other vamps just fine; the councilman was lending his ear to Gus' advice on gourmet vampire food.

"You will notice with twin girls" Gus the Gourmet was explaining to the councilman, "that although, taken together, they are a rather large treat, the identical DNA is a matter of great import. Even the sophisticated palate will be impressed by the inability to distinguish one's blood from the other. The environmental factors that cause different fingerprints between sets of identical twins has no bearing upon the taste of their blood. That is, Harlow, if you time the interval from the release of your glamour-trance to your biting them on the neck to near identical periods. As we well know, the shot of adrenaline caused by our dinner's fear is often the simplest and best seasoning."

"Which is why a young woman is always our preferred victim" observed Harlow, that is to say the vampire councilman. "And young woman who are identical twins are a special treat. Even you can grasp that, Colby."

"Just get me a broad with a smooth neck, I don't care" said Colby, the bloodsucker with the teenaged appearance. From his pocket, Colby removed a little black book with numbers jotted down in it. "By my count, this is victim number 9,723. Blondes are my favourite. I'm on, uh, oh 3,456. The best time was the last war. My appearance still matched my ID, not that they even normally issued photo ID back then. And girls didn't care about a guy who was only a few years older than themselves. It was a pass in and out of the best homes, everyone still knew the name of Colby Flood Sr., so it was no problem for Jr. to have his run of the best people in town. I always had that problem with my fangs . . . ."

"The larger, dumber vampires always have poor fang control" Gus retorted.

"At any rate, we're well acquainted with the honoured name of Flood" scoffed Harlow. "However, you have neither the brains nor even any standing when compared with us. I was a vampire when this city and this province, in fact all Canada was covered by the forest primeval, bare prairie and frozen wastes."

"I was a vampire almost as long as your friend Jesse" added Gus. "I was a lowly indentured servant from Hanover who traded-up. My first victims were the New York family for whom I worked. I burned down their house to cover my tracks. Fires are such an amusing way to cover one's tracks. When Jesse frequented my establishment to sample fine cuisine . . . and he did, though he was more gourmand than gourmet . . . I, of course, was careful not to mention it. Reverend Black had an antipathy to fires, as you well know. It was very funny, when you think about it."

"I owe everything to Jesse" said Colby angrily, his eyes flashing yellow under his sunglasses. "Betsy was Jesse's moll back then. They came over to show me the lay, and it was thanks to them I was turned. Otherwise, I would have spent the rest of my life as a bankrupt nothing. I can't believe he was ruined by a few milquetoasts. Or your that beloved Anastasia's entire hoity-toity council were chased out."

"Well, believe it" said Gus bitterly. "I've lost my fine dining establishment, and you'll have to host us. You weren't too particular about driving a date over to Whitechapel to enjoy my fine dining ambiance back then. Why, you even complained to me about why so many of us were headquartered in a small place like Whitechapel. You wanted the vampires to move on to Toronto years ago, didn't you? Your home when you're not travelling. So, you're not so much our host as our guard until further notice. And next month, when our new council gathers for the first time, you'd better hope the arrangement is not made permanent."

"I signed up for immortality and to feed on the _hoi polloi_ " said Colby, finally losing control and displaying his fangs "and the better people, when I can get them. After all, a lot of them high-hatted me after the family scandal. But I didn't sign up to be a servant in my own house."

"Yes, you did" observed Harlow coldly. "And draw in those fangs, you idiot. You're a vampire, you'll obey any surviving members of a vampire council. You do realize that an enforcer is all you're temperamentally suited for. You can't go against your type . . . I see Jesse was careless with you as well as everyone else he turned. Still, at least he had you give what, in your case, passes for consent. For many a year, Jesse was careful to follow _that_ vampire tradition. He was, after all, quite literally burned out the first time he played fast and loose with that rule. Of course, in his other activities he did things his way. Anastasia warned him many a time how much a fool he was. But Whitechapel had been his town, so he was allowed liberties."

"And those milquetoasts?" snapped Gus. "It was Jesse's last three turns that set their victory into motion. One was a complete disaster, one a joke, only the third was a halfway-respectable vampires . . . but she had conflicted loyalties.

"The disaster's name was Sarah, a girl with no interest in being a vampire" said Harlowe, "She spent a year as a fledgeling and only tasted human blood when she "saved" her vampire-hunting boyfriend from Jesse's bite. Jesse had her tasting human blood cleverly planned, but he wouldn't realize that you can't take such liberties in the process. You cannot trick or arm-twist someone into becoming a full vampire . . . through an act of self-sacrifice, no less. That idiotic move was, more than anything else, why Anastasia banished him."

"His other two catches weren't such prizes either" said Gus. "Now, Jesse had his second-in-command . . . I forget his name . . . bite and turn this lovely girl by the name of Erica who used to work as one of my servers. Of the three, she was the only one malleable to a proper vampiric viewpoint. But really, she was too close to Sarah. Erica had some role in making Whitechapel vampire-free, I don't know what. No one knows what happened in those last hours after we were all forced to flee. Of course, Erica soon regretted being reduced to human and sent me an email requesting I turn her again. I had a romantic killing all set out to punish her for her crimes against vampire-kind. The horror-struck look on her face as she realized I was draining and not turning her would have bene something wonderful to behold. But I suppose Sarah insisted Erica didn't go, and I ended up waiting in vain."

"Too bad" Colby observed. "It would have been a great dinner. Well, at least the broad's message told everyone about the dark energy drain and how Anastasia and Jesse met their end. I heard one or two losers actually went to Whitechapel and got human again."

"Some of Jesse's turns, no doubt" said Harlow. "But neither could be as pathetic as Jesse's last turn, or rather the boy Erica bit, infected, and failed to drain. Of course, Jesse should have had him destroyed right off. But, Rory, that's the boy's name, was probably left un-dead to torture his vampire-hunting friends. Those would be Ethan, Sarah's vampire-hunting boyfriend and a seer of occasional use and some promise. And Benny, a rather poor spell-master. But that Rory. A demented, diminutive fourteen year-old joke, who didn't even seem to properly realize what he was."

"Anastasia didn't kill the kid either" observed Colby, amused. "Maybe your little-girl leader was crazy over the guy. He was only fourteen? Almost as young as she was when she was turned? Maybe Anastasia was all goofy over him?"

"Hold your tongue or you'll spend the rest of the twenty-first century glamoured" warned Harlow. "Anastasia may have been turned too young, through some Jesse-like fool's bungling, however she was the most intelligent, wisest and powerful amongst us. She wouldn't have ever fallen in love with a _rat-biter_ , for that was what the kid was."

"A _rat-biter_?" said Gus with disgust. "I thought the two who run the blood drive had no proper spirit or taste. But that kid lives off rats? I had enough reason to kill the lot for what they did to the last night my poor place d'cuisine remained open to her exclusive clientele. But to know one of them was one of us and lived off rats . . ."

"Lived" said Harlow. "I suppose he's now human again, and living in Whitechapel with his victorious friends. If only we could find them the next time they left Whitechapel . . . if only Anastasia was around to plan a way to properly torture and kill them.

"Anastasia, Anastasia, Anastasia" groaned Colby. "If I was face-to-face with those bluenoses I'd know what to do . . . Ha! So, Gus, what was that you were saying about only dumb mugs not having any fang-control?"

Gus and Harlow were now showing their fangs.

"We've got good reason" said Gus. "I bet you'll show your fangs too when you realize you're looking Ethan, seer and vampire-hunter, walking towards us in that a crocodile hat. And beside him is his rat-biting friend in Blue Jay's hat and wearing a crocodile-skin neckless.

"No doubt ready to greet us with his idiotic descriptor for our kind" added Harlow

"Hey guys" said Rory, downing his nervousness with obviously-faked bravado. "How's my bloodsucking buddies? Team V forever!"

Rory made the victory sign with his left hand . . . with his right hand hidden in his pocket with fingers crossed.

Ethan looked uncertainly at the three vampires. They were displaying their fangs and, even through their shades, he could see their glowing yellow eyes. Ethan felt very un-Bond-like.

"Team V guys" said Ethan, also making the victory sign.

And in a style _not at all_ like Bond's, Ethan added hesitantly "You met me before. The name's, uh, Morgan. Ethan Morgan."


	13. Thunderball

**Thunderball**

Ethan was getting more nervous by the second. The vampires kept glaring at him, eyes aglow, fangs prominent.

And the five girls? They didn't do anything but look at him with blank expressions and their dazed, hypnotised eyes.

Rory too was frightened (not even Rory could mistake the bloodsucker's looks!), but he knew his job. And so, he said his rehearsed line.

"Guy's, uh, yeah, uh, vampire council guy . . .uh, Ethan's one of us now. Un-dead."

The reaction wasn't the one Ethan was going for. The three vampires laughed. Well, at least it made them retract their fangs and turn-out the light in their eyes.

* * *

Benny was surprised to hear on his smartphone that the girls were also laughing. If he had a better view, Benny would have known that at a snap of Harlow's fingers, the twin redheads, the blonde, and a petite black-haired chick had all burst into hysterics.

Benny, suddenly realizing it was the hypnosis, considered it a very clever strategy. There's nothing worse for a teenage boy than to be laughed at by hot chicks. Nothing worse for any male over the age of ten, for that matter. You'd have to be supremely awesome and self-confident, like Benny, to take it in stride . . . realizing that the girls didn't know what a cool guy they were mocking. Well, fortunately Rory didn't care _too_ much what others thought and Ethan now was an item with Sarah. Benny hoped _they_ didn't mind it much.

* * *

Down the beach, Harlow held up his hand for silence.

"Indeed?" he said icily, and his meaning was clear. "Really? I don't believe you. And even if you're telling the truth, so what?"

Gus, however, started sniffing the air, and looked at Ethan with surprise and a rather perplexed look.

"There's something . . . unusual about his blood" Gus told the others. "Usually it's only a female immortal who has any use for the blood of a teenage male. An adolescent boy's blood has a revolting taste, a disgusting viscosity, and more often than not is so oily as to induce acne in the unfortunate diner . . . however . . . there is something strange about his blood. Something . . . interesting . . . ."

Ethan stepped back, on the verge of panic. This was just what he didn't need! Gus to discover the secret of his blood. Apparently a vampire's taste sensation!

"That's because I was turned into a vampire just before the lucifractor exploded" Ethan blurted out quickly. "You're . . . smelling un-dead blood. I just got back into the country. I fled with Rory instead of dying at the hand of Stern. We've been travelling ever since . . . on a world tour sort-of-thing."

Colby didn't bother much with sniffing, he was vain enough to believe he could identify a vampire on sight. And with the pale skin and the excessive sunscreen, the two looked it. He said as much.

"You think so?" sneered Harlow, giving Ethan and Rory (and Colby) deadly looks.

"Why didn't you go back after the lucifractor exploded?" continued Colby, undaunted. "You milquetoasts seem the type to try?"

"What's a milk-toast?" asked Rory.

"A geek" said Gus. "Roughly translated."

"Gnarly! Really? Milk-toast?" Rory replied, but then remembered what he was supposed to say. "We heard it was instant death to a vampire if they went to Whitechapel. So we didn't. We talked it over, and we decided we couldn't continue in our real . . . ."

"Rory, buddy" Benny groaned.

". . . I, uh mean our human lives" lied Rory.

"Who would bite and turn the likes of you?" asked Gus, as he continued to sniff. "I don't think our ranks were exactly crying out for a blundering geek of a seer."

"Jesse" said Ethan with a faked sigh. "He sent a message asking to meet me, it was something about the lucifractor endangering my friends' lives. But instead of dealing with me fairly, he bit me to make sure I didn't try to help Stern."

"When I was flying away from Whitechapel" said Rory, with a sigh so fake it made Ethan's sound like the genuine article, "I saw Ethan. And both of us being un-dead friends, we decided we'd stick together through the . . . centuries. No matter how boring they get."

"And the rest of your friends?" questioned Harlow. "Your spellmaster friend Benny?"

"I think he died in the explosion with Stern" said Ethan. "I think they were working together. Benny always hated most of the un-dead."

"And Sarah, your girlfriend?" said Harlow, with the ghost of a grin.

"We broke up just before" said Ethan, in a voice so sad it was almost laughable. "If only Erica hadn't suggested we go to that vampire restaurant."

"On that, I concur" said Gus, although he was _still_ sniffing. "You destroyed what turned out to be my last night catering to my discerning and exclusive clientele."

"Sarah must have died in the explosion too" said Ethan, again _too_ sorrowfully. "But I don't know. After that date, we never talked again."

"Well, what do you think, girls?" asked Harlow, with another snap of his fingers.

The girls laughed. This time, oddly enough, it gave Ethan courage. Why? Because it made him angry! The guy was using the helpless bikini babes as human-sized puppets!

"So as the hard-boiled say, you took it on the lam?" asked Colby.

"Uh . . . yeah" said Rory, who had to think back to a couple of old late night movies to understand the phrase. "Yeah."

"And your friend's seer power?" said Harlow.

"It's been gone ever since I was bitten" said Ethan, with another faked sigh.

"I see" said Harlow, with a smirk.

"Don't you know that for punks your age it isn't lethal to return. . . ." started Colby.

"Well, don't lecture them" Harlow interrupted. "They've resigned themselves to their exile as have we. And of course our vampire-hunter friend knows now he'll have to spend his remaining time alive as an immortal feeder of blood."

Harlow glowered at Ethan and Rory for awhile, while Colby reluctantly looked at Harlow for direction. Gus continued to sniff the air like some sort of un-dead dog. Finally, Harlow broke into a smirk.

"I have been amiss, Morgan, Ethan Morgan" said Harlow. "And you too, Rory. What's your surname?"

"Keener" said Rory proudly. "Rory Ransom Keener."

"Ransom?" said Ethan surprised, despite everything else. "That's pretty cool. Mine's only Phillip. Benny's is Jack."

* * *

"Dude!" complained Benny, though Ethan's cell was muted, out of necessity. "That's a secret!"

* * *

"I know" Rory said. "I have it from our Grand Avenue Public School Graduation Programme.

"I can't believe I forgot that" admitted Ethan. "So we're Phillip, Ransom and . . . ."

"I must formally introduce you to your brother vampires" interrupted Harlow, in an oily tone. "You would perhaps know that is vampire tradition to only refer to each other by the first given name? I don't believe you know my name, do you? Even you Rory, who should? Well, I am Harlow. Soon to be master of the newly convened Toronto Vampire Council, once officially convened."

"Toronto vampire council?" said Ethan and Rory.

* * *

"Toronto vampire council?" said Benny, from a few hundred yards away.

He said it loud enough to get a strange look from a mother and her two young children. She pushed them along, away from the wacky teenager who was talking to himself about vampires.

* * *

Ethan elbowed Rory. Rory's look had gone to sickened from surprised. Ethan wondered if he had shown the same expression? Yeah, but it wouldn't do for two vamps, would it?

"You act like there's something wrong with a newly reconstituted vampire council" observed Harlow cooly. "And you're not even having your house re-purposed for council business" added Harlow with a sneer at Colby. "Or yourself being reassigned as a guard."

"They would make better guards than _me_ " Colby complained. "If the idea of depending too much on rat-biters gives you the heebie-jeebies, just mesmerize them into being your willing slaves. And maybe initiate them on some real, fresh-caught food while you're at it."

"That would be absurd" Harlow scoffed. "It would lead to the same problems _your friend_ Jesse created for us. I couldn't imagine Anastasia ever using these two as guards. You would have to be insane to even consider it!"

"I did guard duty for Anastasia, after her guards ran off" said Rory, petulantly. "I said _who goes there_ and everything."

Ethan shot Rory a warning glance . . . which perplexed Rory because he didn't see the problem with mentioning this. It wasn't that Rory was particularly happy about it now (especially given what Anastasia did to him afterwards), but Rory was annoyed with Harlow's tone.

"If you were Anastasia's guard, how did she end up dying in Whitechapel while you were left outside the city?" asked Harlow.

"Um . . . uh, uh" stuttered Rory.

"He was fired" interrupted Ethan. "Something about him being immature."

"That sounds genuine" admitted Gus.

In a rather disappointed tone, Gus had stopped sniffing.

"I doubt Anastasia could stand him for long" observed Harlow. "Have you two been drinking real blood yet?"

"Real blood?" Rory objected.

Rory remembered it was desperation and a promise to Ethan that had sent him on the path of getting his blood from small animals. And now cured, he realized it was pretty gross . . . ever since Ethan and Benny tricked him into biting a rat after he was restored to his full human self. Yet, now that he thought of it . . . Rory was still proud of his no-murder, rat-biting record. And was human blood (which, Rory remembered, he was pretty desperate to have whenever it didn't mean actually attacking anyone) all that less gross? But Rory remembered that other vampires, even Sarah and Erica, had thought that was weird. So, Rory would have to make something up. But what? So Rory said the first thing that came to mind. Rory thought it was really clever . . . .

"Yeah" Rory said. "It's been real gnarly travelling with Ethan. You've never saw a vampire so hungry! It's not enough to get him rats, squirrels and birds, or even the occasional blood bag. He attacks big animals. When we were in Africa, he drained an entire elephant!

"He drained an elephant?" asked Colby incredulously. "You two don't bite dames, but one of you goes so far as to drain an elephant?"

"Yeah" said Rory. "It was awesome! But it was so much blood Ethan was gassy for the next two weeks. Man, guys, you couldn't even be around him."

"Rory!" said Ethan furiously.

Wasn't it bad enough to pretend to be a vampire . . . without pretending to be the world's gassiest vampire? _And in front of five of the hottest girls he'd ever seen!_ (Well, next to Sarah, of course!)

"I could believe it" said Colby. "I mean, if you're enough of a palooka to do something like that."

"I was smart" Rory bragged. "I went for the Flamingos. They tasted like big, pink chickens."

* * *

As for Benny, who thought the whole story hilarious, he realized that after something like that their cover was blown. Benny, in fact, gulped, realizing now that he was going to be famous. But not as a paranormal investigator, but as someone who was paranormal himself! Benny hoped he wasn't going to the one to be investigated! And what was his grandma Evelyn going to do to him? As Ethan warned, she'd be really upset about her privacy being barged in upon.

Wasn't there some way Benny could do his fireball spell without revealing everything to a beach full of people?

And suddenly Benny looked around, and realized his way out. He crept off, still listening to the conversation . . . hoping he was powerful enough to do it, confident he was powerful enough to pull it off . . . but somehow worried just the same.

* * *

"And what did you do then?" continued Harlow icily. "After Ethan recovered following his adventure overindulging on exotic wildlife."

"We went to Australia, mate" continued Rory, now using his Australian accent. "Spent some time in the outback and on the beaches. Ran into several Shebas."

"We went to all the best resorts" added Ethan.

"And feasted on Tasmanian Devils and wallabies" said Rory.

"With all those Australian Shebas to choose from?" asked Colby. "What's the matter with you two mugs? African animals, Australian animals! I'm sure your idea of putting on the ritz is a feast of lizards and jellyfish . . . ."

Gus, for his part, now turned green.

"Stop it this instant!" Gus said. "To think I'd ever hear of any vampires with so little culinary sense. . . ."

"I've had enough myself" stated Harlow fiercely, allowing his eyes to glow. "I won't hear any more of this disgusting mockery of immortal dietary habits."

"But where did a couple of Mrs. Grundy's like you get the money to be such eggs?" Colby put in.

"Huh?" asked Rory and Ethan.

"Where did a couple of milquetoasts . . . geeks . . . get the money to live so well?" repeated Colby, frustrated.

"We're . . . uh . . .won the lottery" claimed Rory.

"Well at least you understand what you've got" said Colby. "To be bit and be turned is the cat's pajamas."

"The what?" asked Ethan incredulously.

"Quiet, Colby" said Harlow imperiously. "You, see, Morgan, Ethan Morgan, and, oh yes, Rory Ransom Keener . . . Colby is not used to having himself used according to his merits, that is to say as a lowly guard or enforcer. Jesse always did run a slipshod operation. Colby is desperate for anyone to take his place as a glorified servant. Why, I believe he'd actually turn someone if he thought he could properly manage the consequences and wasn't so often protective of his meals. But Colby is the youngest of us by far, so we must make allowances for callow youth. He came from a privileged background, notice how he often lapses into an old-fashioned, clipped Anglo-Canadian accent? They used to teach that in your finest private schools."

"Shut up" muttered Colby angrily.

"You'll correct yourself if you don't want me to glamour you into staking yourself in the heart" said Harlow. "It has been done, and Anastasia herself commanded it a few times when being particularly vindictive."

"I'm . . . I'm sorry" said Colby hastily.

"That's better" said Harlow condescendingly. "And your accent did impress Anastasia more than Jesse's . . . however, Colby, tell me this. Or should I say Colby V. Flood Junior? How do you intend to use non-vampires as guards?"

"I'm sure they're vampires" said Colby. "Rat-biters, but vampires. Just look at them!"

"Pale skin, sunblock and sunglasses" said Harlow. "Somewhat convincing to the novice. However, they're frauds. They're not vampires. And even if they were they'd be too problematic to keep around."

"What makes you think that?" said Ethan. "Why would we be here if we weren't vampires? And what about vampire comradery?"

"I haven't any notion why you're here" admitted Harlow. "And I don't much care. As for vampire comradery . . . incidentally, it's properly called vampire brethren-ship . . .it doesn't apply for those who run afoul of the council's standards . . . ."

"Evil standards" retorted Ethan angrily, forgetting himself.

"As you like it" said Harlow. "But, as of now, I intend to run a tighter ship. No more freaks of nature will be permitted to endanger the larger community interest."

* * *

"Says the centuries-old soulless un-dead bloodsucking creature-of-the-night-dude" Benny scoffed as he went into place.

Benny wondered if he should intervene now? But _no_ , Team Sabre minus Sarah had agreed imminent danger . . . and imminent meant _really_ imminent danger of being bit or killed. Either that, or the signal from Ethan.

* * *

"Freaks of nature?" asked Rory.

"Vampires who don't properly hunt and dine on human subjects" said Gus.

"9723 victims, bitten and drained in my time" Colby repeated proudly.

Ethan and Rory looked at him in horror

"That's a good sized town" said Ethan.

"That is the proper spirit" observed Harlow. "So, even if you were vampires . . . you lack the proper mind-set. And even if you had the right mind-set, you two are guilty of betraying the council in the matter of the lucifractor and you are similarly guilty of creating unquantifiable harm to your vampire brothers and sisters by being _at least_ a proximate cause of their exile from Whitechapel, Ontario. A better than good sized town. Yet we do have high hopes for Toronto. However, I'm getting ahead of myself . . . you two don't realize that I can see straight through your decision to wear sunglasses . . . and it isn't to protect immortal eyes from ultraviolet light. I'm surprised Gus hasn't thought of it. Colby, I know, doesn't have the presence of mind."

"What about their sunglasses?" asked Gus.

"We in the vampire council pay attention to details" explained Harlow with a wave of his hand.

Ethan realized that, with the gesture, the five girls enveloped Rory and him in the weirdest and hottest semi-circle Ethan had ever seen. Hottest in a couple ways, not only were the girls smoking . . . the sun was beating down overhead without so much as the slightest breeze.

This meant Rory couldn't help grinning from ear-to-ear . . . nor Ethaneither, if he were honest with himself. Ethan was sixteen, after all. However, suddenly, with a start, Ethan _also_ realized that now the other beach goers . . . who weren't interested in what the weirdos in the straw hats were doing at any rate . . . couldn't see Ethan nor Rory neither. And with the general din of the beach, the crowd _already_ couldn't hear what was going on.

"We were a very organized group" said Harlow, with a sigh. "Not the slapdash management of a Jesse. Colby, remove their sunglasses . . . fast."

Ethan and Rory felt the sunglasses snatched from their face before they could react. Colby held them up triumphantly, as he had left his seat and returned in a blink of an eye.

"You were a little too slow" Harlow told Colby. "Our seer here has gone into a trance. Observe how his eyeballs glow and his pupils dilate."

"I didn't touch him" Colby objected. "I just took his pair of cheaters."

"Sunglasses he means" observed Gus.

* * *

"Sort of like nails and a magnet" observed Benny impatiently. "But we were hoping for something like this. Come on dudes, isn't it bad enough you have the bikini beach babes hanging all over you . . . and not me . . . but you're _really_ risking an attack . . . ."

* * *

"He's just . . . uh . . . his seer power just came back" tried Rory, as he shook Ethan out of his vision.

The stupid grin had been wiped off Ethan's face during his vision, and he was looking stunned.

"As it was a vision specifically of _Colby_ " observed Harlow dismissively to his friends, "it wouldn't have anything to do much with council business. Nonetheless, let's move on from Morgan . . . Ethan, Morgan. I, of course, could see at an instant that Rory Ransom Keener wears contact lenses. Now, an immortal's eyes adjust automatically. Why would they require contact lenses?"

And that stupid grin was wiped off Rory's face with a look of horror. He had never been so proud of _his own_ nearsighted eyes than he had these last two months. But as much as they were his _own natural eyes_ , the contacts were a giveaway.

* * *

" _Frack!_ We should have thought of that!" said Benny.

* * *

"Don't worry, pal" said Ethan told Rory, more confidently than he felt after seeing his vision. "They've been toying with us from the start. But they can't do anything on a beach full of people.

"Ah, yes" said Harlow. "So you _can_ play James Bond . . . Morgan, Ethan, Morgan. You see, I . . . as do so many of us . . . have a passing acquaintance with the popular culture of the era. It takes an Anastasia to be fully above such trifling pursuits. Not that I'm such a fool as to entirely reinvent myself for the era, as was Jesse."

"Jesse just kept with the times" objected Colby.

"By running a vampire drama club?" Harlow asked. "At any rate, I do know Bond's enemies often try for a needlessly complicated way of execution. However, I do myself, as the two pretended to be one of us . . . or should I say, in the case of Rory, still one of us?

"He was never one of you!" said Ethan, clapping Rory on his shoulder.

"Not one human kill" said Rory proudly.

"And neither was Sarah" Ethan added unnecessarily.

* * *

"Dude _still_ can't keep thinking of Sarah!" said Benny, as he practised the hand gesture he'd have to do.

* * *

"And now, Morgan, Ethan, Morgan, I expect you to die" said Harlow, with a tight, fanged smile. "For pretending to be vampires I order you each staked in the heart. A variation of the trial by ordeal of the Middle Ages. If you were vampires, you'd burn up. Not being vampires, well the situation is a bloody one and _ergo_ highly enjoyable. Why, Gus might even sample your blood Morgan, Ethan Morgan! But first to get you off the beach!"

"We're not stupid enough to look into your eyes" said Ethan, elbowing Rory to make sure he got the mental picture.

"What do you . . . oh" said Rory, deciding to look pointedly at his shoes lest he be again hypnotized. "But I don't even remember looking in Anastasia's eyes when she got me."

"That's because her power was something to be in awe of" said Harlow.

"Now you're getting sickening" muttered Colby.

"But neither am I to be trifled with" added Harlow.

"We can always yell" warned Ethan. "And you'll be remembered by a lot of people. Not just for kidnapping us, but for the girls too."

"They won't have our pictures" smirked Colby. "Even in this age of gizmos, electronic calculating machines, and cellular smart-telephones."

* * *

"Electronic calculating machines?" laughed Benny. "Cellular-smart telephones? Has he been un-dead under a rock? Talk about old school."

* * *

"They'll have police composite sketches" said Ethan.

"Did that ever work in Whitechapel?" asked Harlow. "Colby has been in Toronto for decades."

"As the hard-boiled lot say" observed Colby, "when the heat's on, I leave town for awhile. You do need to . . . if you ever associate with human society . . . so people won't realize you're not aging. "It's another of Jesse's tricks" Colby added forcefully.

"There are certain . . . problems . . . with going after vampires" said Gus, with a fanged grin. "For one thing, the police don't know there are vampires. You'll be surprised what a difference that makes in a investigation. When the _corpus delicti_ disappears from view, it's a real problem."

Harlow allowed himself another fanged smirk. He then waved his hand again.

Before either Rory or Ethan could move, the redheaded twin bikini babes clamped their hands over each of the boy's mouths. With an iron grip that really wasn't their own, the girls twisted their arms.

Rory was surprised, and in all honestly he didn't know whether he should be happy at being sort-of, kind-of, more-or-less, _hugged_ by one of the hottest pair of girls he had ever seen (Awesome!) or terrified by what horrible fate might be in store (No fair, dude!). Rory couldn't solve _that_ problem, so he just reflected (correctly) that Ethan would probably feel guilty about it because of Sarah.

"Sarah's pretty nice" said Rory out-of-the-blue to Ethan. "I'm sure she won't be all crazy-jealous because the girl was all over you. Besides, hugging under vampire-hypnotism doesn't count as hugging."

"It . . . is . . . called . . . glamouring" said Harlow through gritted teeth, as the phrase "vampire-hypnotism" outraged his sense of vampire tradition. "Your idiotic mislabeling notwithstanding, at my command the girls will carry you off the beach . . . I do know nobody will think much of a boy being carried off by a girl, thinking it part of an act. I also know that you two humans, rat-biters that you are, are too well mannered to hit a _human_ girl."

"I think he's right" said Ethan, as he exchanged glances with Rory.

"You can't hit a girl" said Rory, who had that lesson drummed in from the time he was a little boy. Not that he ever wanted to.

Harlow had them there!

"It's too bad that I'm not Bond" said Ethan. "He always strikes . . . like _Thunderball_."

Ethan and Rory looked around expectantly. Nothing happened.

"He always strikes . . . like _Thunderball_ " said Ethan, repeating the lyric from the James Bond movie of the same name.

* * *

Benny tried his spell. Concealed behind a storage building, Benny's first two attempts made nothing more than a few blue sparks. As the saying went, third time was the charm.

Well, more or less. It was awesome, thought Benny. And it looked cool! But it could have acted cooler!

* * *

There as a loud commotion on the beach as a orange ball of fire the size and shape of a tumbleweed bounced lazily across the sand, scattering tourists and city beach-goers alike. The further it went, the more erratic its behaviour became as it drunken spun to and fro. Mothers stood protectively in front of their children. The bikini babes screamed while the guy Benny had borrowed the surfboard from used the board to strike it away from him. The ball bounced and knocked over a life-guard's chair including life guard. And, of course, there was the click of many smart-phones and the flashes of more than a few digital cameras.

The "thunderball" made brief contact with the water, causing it to sizzle and leading to several people getting a (fortunately minor) shock. It then spun around, again heading up the beach.

"This is a perfect distraction" observed Harlow, who seemed incurious about the origin of the thunderball. "We can use this to carry . . . will you pay attention! Gus, I expected better from you!"

Colby and Gus were transfixed, like everyone else, by the ball of fire as it headed up the beach. That is until it stopped its meandering and made a beeline to them.

"It's their spellmaster friend" said Harlow, allowing himself a minor note of panic . . . however, his voice reflected more annoyance by far. "He's perfected a spell for lightning or for fire. I suggest we leave these two for another time . . . ."

By the time he reached this point in his speech, the fireball was near them, and with a sickening sizzling sound it exploded into soot, reformed, and trundled off to annoy more beach-goers. It finally burnt itself out when it rolled into the water the second time and set up a plume of steam.

The steam was fortunate, as otherwise the whole crowd would have gone to see what had happened to Ethan, Rory, the vampires . . . and most of all, the bikini beach babes.

Ethan and Rory were unharmed, but covered in soot like cartoon characters after an explosion. As for the vampires, they had left with nothing but a gust of wind to tell of their departure.

"Lucky Benny stinks with magic" said Rory, as he brushed off the soot. "But what happened to the fireball? Why did we get that weird thing?"

"He must have thought he could use it to distract everybody without showing everybody he was a spellmaster" guessed Ethan correctly. "It's sort of like . . . like . . . ."

"A thunderball!" said Benny, who now ran up. "Wasn't that _awesome_! Haven't you guys ever heard of ball lightning? Benny is like . . . a thunderball. _Benny Weir . . . is . . . James Bond_."

Unfortunately, the bikini babes didn't think so. And to Benny's chagrin, they didn't fall for him like girls fell for 007. And it was no surprise why not . . . the four woke up from their trance covered in ashes and among three teenage boys they'd never met. And the tallest, a creep of a beanpole, was bragging about being James Bond. What happened?

* * *

The red-haired twins, Cynthia and Charity by name, discussed it amongst themselves later, along with the news reports of the strange phenomenon of ball lightning on a clear day on Woodbine Beach. The sisters took the word of the meteorologists . . . they presumed it had come from a thunderstorm well out on Lake Ontario. As for the beanpole teenager, his friends, and the two sisters' amnesia? Well, nothing! They weren't out for long and they were all still on the beach. It must have been the ball lightning that knocked them out, and the three boys must have come to help them.

But in their immediate surprise, the two had slapped Benny and kicked sand in his face. It might have been some consolation to Benny that Cynthia and Charity . . . whose beauty wasn't skin deep . . . regretted it and wished they could thank him and their other two geeky well-wishers, little knowing _how much_ they owed the trio.

* * *

As for Ethan, he barely noticed that on-the-beach, Benny was at least oh-for-eight. Ethan was thinking of his vision. The vampires had to be stopped before they set up their council! But how? And why the heck were the vamps planning to rob a bank?

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

Benny's middle name being Jack is a joking reference to the famous comedian "Jack Benny".


	14. In which Ethan is at his wit's end

**In which Ethan is at his wit's end**

Ethan was desperate to talk about his vision with Benny, and even Rory, and sound them off for their advice. But man! He kept getting delayed! The three were making a quick retreat from the beach, and avoiding at all costs being left almost defenceless by themselves. But the problem was that every time Ethan brought up the subject, some jerk looked their way. Why couldn't it be like in Whitechapel High School? He could talk to Benny, Sarah and Rory by the lockers or in the student lounge and nobody would be listening in.

Between thunderballs, bikini babes, and the three vampires who wanted to kill them, Rory's easily-distracted mind was on other things than Ethan's vision. Rory was thinking about Ethan, however. Ethan always seemed to come up with a plan for this stuff! Team Sabre would beat those Team V jerks! Rory even took a couple pictures of himself to make sure he was still on the right team.

Benny, for his part, was too busy bragging about his _awesome_ thunderball (and looking out for Harlow, Gus and Colby) to care too much at the moment. At any rate, Benny hadn't seen Ethan get his vision . . . only heard Rory mention something about it in passing.

The three friends had distributed Rory's garlic cloves (Ethan had reminded Rory not to eat any more until they stocked up), then stopped for some fresh ones at a supermarket on the bus ride back to the subway. At the store, Benny sounded off to Ethan about the idea of the vampires staking human beings . . . while the two let newly-minted garlic expert Rory proudly pick through the reekiest and strongest garlic roots.

"Who do those un-dead dudes think they are!" Benny said angrily " _Staking us_? Seriously, Ethan! Those dudes want to stake us! Us! As if _we_ were the leeching bloodsucking monsters or something? Who ever heard of a human being, you know, being staked?"

"Probably because when you kill a person that way, it's called impaling" joked Ethan, or leastways he tried. But it sounded hollow.

"Lame, Ethan" said Benny. "Really, really, really lame."

The three stayed in crowds and packed themselves in with the busy afternoon rush hour commuters on the buses, streetcars and subway train. . . garlic in their pockets and hiking backpacks, beach umbrellas in hand. With Ethan and Rory both grimy from thunderball soot.

"We never leave your mom's again without our Jedi light sabres" Ethan said, to the agreement of Rory and Benny . . . and the laughter of a couple people up the subway car.

It was lucky the three had the garlic. At the Wilson Subway Station they exited onto the centre (and only) platform. The three were near the end of the station, next to a payphone where a businessman in a suit was talking into the old machine, oblivious to the noise of the train speeding out of the station. It struck Ethan, then Benny . . . . but not the gullible Rory . . . _how strange it was to see anyone actually using a payphone_. And in a double-breasted suit . . . which must have cost a lot of money.

"Long-time, no-see, fellas" said Colby cheerfully, who now turned round. "Or should I say milquetoasts? But that flamethrower act of yours . . . Benny that's your name . . . was pretty nifty. I I suppose you three thought you could give us the slip? Well, I don't appreciate being reduced to playing the torpedo man, but I'm good at it nevertheless. At a vampire's super-speed, trailing and changing clothes fast isn't a matter of great difficulty. Or covering you as you went from bus to streetcar to subway. You notice this station is above ground and open to the air? And since the line was extended it's no longer so busy? And the crowd has left the platform this time of afternoon? Easy to fly out. Ready for the big sleep fellas? According to Gus, Ethan, I should definitely try your blood. As a rule I feed on dames, but Gus knows his onions."

"Gus may know his onions but Rory here knows his garlic" Benny retorted.

"Now guys!" said Ethan.

Colby found his face and hands covered in garlic and sizzling. Not to mention the horrible pain from the garlic Ethan managed to throw into Colby's right eye. Not that Ethan was athletic, but Colby was only a few feet away.

Some people yell, some people scream; Colby liked to curse. Over his expletives, he could barely hear Ethan tell Benny and Rory to rush to the bus platforms so they could take their bus to the apartment they were staring at. He _couldn't_ hear Rory start to object in confusion to Ethan . . . "What bus?" Nor did he hear Benny warn Ethan that he couldn't stake a vampire with a plastic umbrella handle. It _had_ to be wood.

It also meant that Colby had lost the trio by the time he remembered that with "cellular smart-telephones" everywhere, nobody used payphones anymore. Well, he'd have to admit losing his quarry to "his betters" on his own "cellular smart-telephone". Colby was annoyed, but more than that he was hungry.

The subway was a great place for finding a snack. Wait, what was this coming up the escalator? A dame? And a blonde? Looked like she was joining her friends downtown for the afternoon? Well, she'll never make it! Haha.

" _Ain't she sweet, well see her walking down the street_ . . . _or the platform_ " muttered Colby, for _Ain't She Sweet_ had been his favourite song way-back-when.

Colby approached the blonde, judging that . . . as with so many before her . . . his young look, his good clothes, and that old-school Toronto accent would make a good impression.

The dame screamed. That scream saved her life, the scream and the southbound train screeching into the station.

The dead travel fast; Colby flew out of the station at something near the speed of sound.

Colby had forgotten that for the time being he looked like a burn victim, a human permanently scarred with melted red skin. Colby's eyes were also a sight. One burnt black and red, the other glowing yellow. Not to mention his "fang-control" had failed completely. Colby angrily realized his preferred method of picking up a girl for dinner . . . the "date method" . . . was out of the question today. And Harlow wasn't going to glamour any more girls for him . . . after Colby let on that the three milquetoasts escaped him.

Well, Colby'd swoop down on some lonely victim later that night . . . one that would be slow to make Toronto's missing person list. Not the most fun way to get a meal, but it worked! And . . . and Colby landed in the corner of a parking lot. There was something wrong with his head, aside from his burnt face now making him look like the un-dead monstrosity he was. Colby hit his ears. There were worms falling out of it. Aargh! That idiot of a spell-master. Benny couldn't concentrate enough to work his thunder-ball spell, or even a bolt of lightning (which never worked with bloodsuckers anyway), but Benny did manage to hit Colby with a good hour's worth of worms-in-the-ears.

* * *

Ethan, Benny and Rory hurried down the homestretch at Cadillac Avenue while Ethan told Rory why he had lied. To give Colby a false trail.

Benny was looking around frantically. The last thing he needed was to give the location of his mother and grandmother's home to a vampire! He hoped Colby was too busy suffering with his garlic burns and the worms falling-out his ears to still be giving chase.

"We should have stuffed the garlic down his throat" said Ethan with a start. "That was the only way we had of finishing him there."

"And risk his fangs biting into us" Benny reminded Ethan.

"I hope the police don't arrest us for throwing garlic at a guy on the subway" Rory observed. "I don't think they know how to tell he's a vampire. I mean, it's like you said . . . what would they do if they caught us on security camera choking the guy by stuffing garlic down his throat!"

"Rory" Ethan reminded him, "I'm betting Colby's not the type who'll run to the police. Besides that, the guy won't show up on the security cameras. We will, but not him. Remember, you and Sarah both lost two years of photos because of the un-dead thing!"

"Yeah" said Rory. "The worst they can think we did was littering."

"And there's no way they'll arrest us for littering" said Benny, who was still looking worriedly around . . . but he wasn't too worried to point out, "And Ethan, you're still obsessing over Sarah."

"No I'm not" Ethan denied. "I was just pointing out that, just like Rory, Sarah couldn't have her picture taken."

"You could have said Rory, Sarah and Erica" Benny reminded him.

"Guys" said Rory, stopping short. "They _did_ send a police car after us."

In front of Benny's grandmother Irene's house was a Toronto police cruiser, a brand-new Dodge Charger Pursuit in black-and-white police livery. Ordinarily, Ethan, Benny and Rory would have thought it was extraordinarily cool. But now they panicked.

"It's the thunderball at the beach" said Benny, hollowly. "I'm going to be the paranormal guy who's being investigated. First vampires trying to _stake us_ , then the cops going after the good guys who stop the paranormal bad guys."

"And I'm going to be Ethan Morgan, TV Psychic" said Ethan sickly.

"I'm going to be dissected like in that alien autopsy" Rory chimed in. "They're not even going to take my word that the whole-sucky-vampire thing is gone. It's no fair."

Ethan decided that as much as he'd hate being "Ethan Morgan, TV Psychic" he'd better reassure Benny and Rory.

"I don't think they can do much to _actual people_ " said Ethan uncertainly. "Just ask us some questions."

"Yeah, that's right!" said Benny. "They can only investigate us if we do any actual crimes. Or . . . think we did."

Rory breathed a sigh of relief. Then, remembering he hadn't breathed too many sighs of relief in the past two years, decided to do another for the fun of it.

The three entered the house, almost running into the cop . . . a tall, plains-clothes detective with a heavy brow and thuggish face. He was in early middle age, about as old as Ethan's father, though he had a streak of white running through the front of his black hair.

"These are the boys?" the policeman asked Benny's grandmother Irene.

"Yes, they are. My grandson and his friends."

Benny, Ethan and Rory looked at the policeman in resignation. What could he want?

"I'm . . . ." said the detective, looking awkwardly at Irene. Irene shook her head.

"Alex here is a friend of ours" said Irene quickly. "It's his break and he's come over for some cinnamon-walnut rugelach and a cup of coffee. I've been baking today boys, I think it's too hot to have a big meal and . . .and . . . and . . . and . . . Benny! One day you go to the beach! One day in all the year! And you end up all sunburnt!"

"Hardly" Benny objected. "By tomorrow I'll be all brown."

"You don't have the sense to use sun-screen, on the hottest day of the year no less!" continued Irene, who after a hesitating start had found her rhythm. "While _I_ tan perfectly, your late grandfather . . . of blessed memory . . . burnt like a marshmallow. Any grandson of his has to be careful!"

"But Grandma" Benny complained.

Ethan noticed that both Benny's grandmothers had a habit of grabbing their grandson by the ear when they were angry with him. Irene pulled Benny out of the room, telling him she'd make sure he treated his burn properly.

"I heard a lot about Benny" said the policeman, looking a little uncomfortable. "You can tell him for me it was good to finally meet him. I'm Alex Hartstein."

"You carry a gun?" asked Rory, like he were five. "And can we ride in your police-car?"

"I only carry a gun while on duty" said the cop, showing Rory the holster under his jacket. "And not even Inspectors can give rides without the department's permission. I didn't catch your name?"

Rory introduced himself without incident. But when Ethan shook hands with the cop, _introducing himsel_ f, he received an unwelcome vision along the way.

The inspector said his goodbyes and left, having to return to duty,

"You need my help Ethan, buddy?" said Rory, who was disappointed the inspector didn't put on his sirens as he was leaving. "Because if we're safe from those vampires right now, I'd like to have some of those cinnamon-walnut rugelach Benny's grandma made."

"Yeah, Rory, you deserve it" said Ethan absent-mindedly.

That left Ethan alone, perplexed and at his wit's end. All he needed now . . . on top of everything else . . . was that rogue vision from Alex Hartstein throwing a monkeywrench into his thoughts.


	15. Ethan's Visions

**Ethan's Visions**

All Ethan had seen _in his latest vision_ was a view of a fancy restaurant and Hartstein proposing on bended knee to Benny's mom. She had accepted. It was time-dated, as most of Ethan's visions were now, a couple weeks before.

"Great!" Ethan said to himself angrily, returning to the basement room and throwing himself down on the sofa. "What the frack am I going to do now? It isn't enough I've got vampires on my throat ready to take the biggest city in the country? Or Benny's family! But also have to get a sneak peek at Benny's mom's private business! "

"So she's engaged to the cop! Inspector Hartstein seemed okay. At least in my vision. He must be a nice guy, if he's willing to keep Benny's mom secret even now . . . I guess? But it's not something I fracking needed to know! But what I am going to do? Benny will want me to tell him! His mom wants to postpone so she won't upset him. And yeah! This is all nothing! I mean, it would be big news for Benny in ordinary times. But right now, for me, it's just crazy soap opera stuff! There's a swarm of vampires ready to take over the city!"

Ethan thought of his vision at the beach. _Now, all things considered, that was the only really important one._ Harlow had carelessly dismissed Ethan's vision of Colby's future as useless. Although Harlow was shrewd and powerful, Ethan realized, that like Anastasia and _especially_ Jesse . . .the guy was unbelievably conceited and self-assured. If a vampire lives . . . or whatever you called how they _exist_ . . . long enough they seem to be inflated with enough ego to fill the Goodyear Blimp.

Vampire councils need money. Vampires had rich tastes. Ethan supposed that being un-dead you need something to make you feel important. Jesse had his mansion, Anastasia had that neo-gothic building that used to belong to the masonic lodge.

And every bit of property that the vampires hadn't carried off from Whitechapel with them . . . had either been destroyed with what Rory called "Vampire HQ" or was otherwise where the bloodsuckers could go no longer go.

Colby's own fortune was being burnt through by his guests' extravagant tastes. Colby had a fear of poverty . . . which was ridiculous in an un-dead creature of the night. And he despised the Bank of Hamilton because last year they had cut him off from his credit card and his accounts . . . something about his ID no longer being good (Colby made new arrangements overseas. Ethan wondered if that was how most vampires did their banking?). While the Bank of Hamilton's head office was, obviously, in Hamilton, Ontario, there was a major branch in Toronto. That was where Colby was going to strike with Harlow and Gus. The vamps would wait until closing . . . no worries from security cameras for them. Pocket the money in the vault and be gone by morning. Colby thought that the time-lock could easily be smashed off . . . for three bloodsuckers at the peak of their strength and abilities.

And it would all go down the day after tomorrow.

And then? Fast-forward several years. Colby would get a much coveted position with the vampire council. He would brag to some un-dead chicks on how he had been a founder of the Toronto council. Not a council of three or four, like in Whitechapel, but thirteen . . . which Ethan supposed must be significant to the bloodsuckers (even with all he'd seen in the past couple years, mathlete Ethan still held the superstition about the number thirteen to be stupid).

The Council of Thirteen had Toronto tightly in their grip. The council had a long table and an enourmous board where they kept track of Toronto's murder rate with multi-coloured pins. The vamps, headed by Harlow, were busy arguing about rationing the city's human victims. Toronto was becoming a bloodsucking Shangrila, and the council was worried about too many disappearances wrecking things for everybody.

Rationing was voted down. Gus had proudly given a speech about a vampire's right to the prey of their choice. While vampire tradition had several rules about when it was permissible to actually turn someone into a bloodsucker . . . there were no rules when it came time to choose a victim.

This "monster mash" took place in an enormous room under golden chandeliers. The chamber was, in fact, a renovated room in the Old City Hall that Benny's mother had so admired a few days before. The bloodsuckers had bought it lock, stock, and clock tower. How they had gotten the city to sell it to them, Ethan didn't know. But the fact they could get it, well that was really bad news.

To make matters complete, the vision ended with a short view of Gus, who was now running a private rooftop restaurant, telling a laughing Harlow and Colby they really ought to consider evicting the provincial legislature from Queen's Park someday and moving there. Or maybe setting their sights on Parliament Hill in Ottawa.

Ethan groaned. All in all, it was as bad or even worse than Jesse's plan to bring back his flock of un-dead killers. Toronto as Canada's un-dead capital . . . maybe the vampire capital of the world. Well he'd have to find a way to stop it. And quick. But how? Getting rid of Harlow, Gus and Colby, the advance-guard. But again, how?

Back home, this would be when Ethan would go to Sarah for help. But could Ethan really call or text Sarah and ask her to come to Toronto to help him fight the vamps? Well, Sarah _would_ come to help, Ethan knew that. But Ethan considered; if anyone had endured the most in their adventures it must have been Sarah. Sarah had her hopes and dreams for the future dashed by Jesse. Two times over! Jesse hadn't even been content with Sarah keeping the shreds of her humanity as a fledgeling. Sarah had spent a year depressed, and then had to travel on a tour to who-knows-where to accept what had seemed like her unwelcome fate. Rory had been spared that torture by not realizing how royally his life had been fracked up until after it was all over and his humanity had been fully restored. And Erica? She was crazier than Rory . . . at least to Ethan's way of thinking.

Ethan wasn't going to ask Sarah, who lost and regained so much, to travel a couple hundred miles to risk her life to help. Sure, she'd be happy to . . . but Ethan couldn't do that to her! Because, as ironically no less a person than Jesse had said, Ethan was growing up.

Ethan sent her a short message reading " _Had fun at beach. Benny struck out with the babes . . . eight times. Rory will probably text you a shot of his sandcastle. The little kids loved it_."

* * *

"What's with the short message?" Sarah asked Erica, as they were looking around a woman's clothing store at the mall. Shopping for girl's clothes was definitely not something that was in Ethan's line!

"Ethan probably doesn't want to be look too clingy" said Erica, as she pushed frustratedly through the clothes rack . . . none of the cool-looking bargains were in her size. "Even though he is. Not only did you pick a geek for a boyfriend, you chose a crazy-jealous one."

"Ethan's not crazy-jealous or clingy" said Sarah, amused. She then reflected a bit, "Okay, maybe he's a little jealous . . . he was sort of possessive when he thought I was dating Kurt Lochner . . . and we were only friends then. But it's sweet that he's worried about giving me my space."

"Sweet, nerdy . . . same difference" scoffed Erica.

"No, definitely sweet" said Sarah, finding one of the bargains that had eluded Erica. "I'm going to tell Ethan not to worry too much about giving me my space. We can always talk about it if I think he's going too far. I know he's sometimes out on Planet Ethan . . . and that 0 for 8 Benny's the one who's giving him dating advice!"

* * *

Back in Toronto, Ethan remembered that Benny had said his grandmother Evelyn had gone on a trip with some friends. So Ethan couldn't call her, like he and Benny usually did when they ran into a wall.

" _Whitechapel vampires, Whitechapel fight?"_ Ethan said aloud, echoing his own words from earlier that day. "What was I thinking? Colby's a local bloodsucker anyway. I wish we could get someone . . . ."

Ethan couldn't tell the police . . . and especially not Inspector Hartstein . . . about the impending bank robbery. Even though a bank robbery was police business, if anything was. But the cops would either laugh Ethan off or send him for psychiatric help. Like they had done with that _Dusk_ star Baddington.

That left the bloodsuckers with a free hand, so far as law enforcement went.

 _"There are certain . . . problems . . . with going after vampires" Gus had said, with a fanged grin. "For one thing, the police don't know there are vampires. You'll be surprised what a difference that makes in a investigation. When the corpus delicti disappears from view, it's a real problem."_

But why did it have to be that way? Because . . . . wait, it didn't! Why did Ethan sabotage Doug's vampire hunt? To save Sarah, Rory and Erica. Well, they were now permanently _saved_ from being vampires (at least Sarah and Rory were). And, at the beach, why did he warn Benny and Rory about being exposed? Because Ethan and his friends would have the attention of the world . . . and probably an angry Evelyn Weir. And Whitechapel would be world famous . . . and crawling with government scientists.

But what if Ethan found a way to expose the vampires . . . without ruining his life or that of his friends! Put the vampires in the limelight while Ethan, Benny and Rory slipped into the shadows and let events take their course! Let the world know that bloodsuckers existed! Let everybody have their eyes open for the vampires and their fracking council (or councils . . . Jesse had once mentioned something about communicating with other "covens"). Wanted posters drawn up everywhere on suspected bloodsuckers! No more victims!

The fact that a good bloodsucker was a "freak of nature" . . . "a disturbance in the force" . . . meant Ethan didn't have to worry about any good vampires getting caught up in the dragnet.

What if Toronto was crawling with government scientists? Well, it was a big city and nobody would particularly notice or care. At least Ethan wouldn't; he didn't live in Toronto!

How to catch, trap and expose the vamps? Ethan had an idea. But first he had to fly it past Benny and Rory. He'd need their help. But in quietly, anonymously, revealing the un-dead to the world . . . the three would be the greatest heroes of the twenty-first century.

Ethan grinned, stretching back on the sofa. It was the _greatest idea ever_. What was his other problem again . . . .

Benny, his mom, and her fiancee. That problem seemed less overwhelming now. But what was he going to do? Ethan considered. Wait, what would he do if he had _only_ overheard the secret, and not seen it in a vision? Maybe he'd decide what to do on his own . . . maybe if he was at wit's end he'd ask his mom or dad. Helping a guy with normal problems? That was one of the things parents were for!

So, Ethan decided to place a call home.

Ethan reached the answering machine (his parents still used a landline). He decided to wait for a reply instead of trying for their cells. While Ethan figured he could trust Benny and Rory with his life . . . trusting them to save him some of Irene's cinnamon-walnut rugelach was like Superman trusting Lex Luthor to stand guard over the Fortress of Solitude.


	16. Ethan the Dissembler

**Ethan the Dissembler**

It happened that Benny's grandmother Irene was no longer angry; and had long since quit lecturing Benny about the proper use of sun-screen. Irene was now plying Benny and Rory with rugelach and, reluctantly, serving them both coffee.

Irene Fishbine, nonetheless, made sure that Benny knew she thought it would stunt his growth. Benny wondered if his grandmother expected him to be eight-feet tall? Which would be . . . _awesome_. He'd become a professional basketball player.

As for Rory, Irene Fishbine warned him . . . half-jokingly . . . she'd better not see him jumping off her walls. Rory surprised her when he replied he never did that anymore, nor could he do it if he wanted too . . . which he didn't. Rory winced after Benny aimed him a kick from underneath the table.

"I was just joking, Benny's grandma" Rory finished lamely, as he realized what he had almost revealed.

With Irene around, Ethan had to wait, _yet again_ , to tell Benny and Rory about his vision of Harlow's plans and the future vampire council. And Ethan's plan to prevent that future from ever coming to pass. Annoyed, Ethan ignored Benny's grandmother's warning and had some coffee too. Which was "good to the last drop", but made Ethan all the more uneasy.

* * *

Once the three had eaten their fill (or all there was) and returned to the basement guestroom, Ethan talked as animatedly as Benny usually did. Well, almost.

Benny, who didn't yet know about his mother's news, had decided to stretch out on the Murphy bed as he listened to Ethan's review of his vision. Thinking it was "typical-bloodsucker stuff," and the worst of the danger was over, Benny was optimistic that . . . for Team Sabre . . . kicking un-dead butt wouldn't be too hard. Now that they had their ultraviolet light sabres! And Benny could again practice his ultra-cool fireball spell.

Benny changed his mind, between the impending bank robbery (why hadn't the bloodsuckers ever tried that in Whitechapel?) and the story of what Ethan glumly called the "Council of the Thirteen." When Ethan mentioned that the vamps would be killing so many people that they'd consider rationing a vampire's share of the dead bodies, Benny was furious! In his agitation he jumped up on the Murphy bed where he had been lying, causing it to again slam him into the closet.

"Whoa!" said the easily distracted Rory. "That's awesome! Not your vision, which is ultra-gnarly Ethan! But that bed!"

"Definitely cool" Ethan agreed.

"It's about time you saw the bed do this" said Benny, high-fiving his friends when Ethan and Rory had again rescued him from the self-locking closet door. "But Ethan, dude, is it called the Council of Thirteen or the Toronto Vampire Council?"

"It's not important" shrugged Ethan, "They just seemed to take pride in the fact that there were thirteen of them."

"Aw, they don't believe that stupid legend about the number thirteen" scoffed Benny.

"Yeah, that's bogus!" said Rory.

"Yeah, I'm with you guys there" Ethan agreed. "But whether it's a dozen or a baker's dozen . . . ."

"If thirteen was unlucky or evil, why would bakers use it" Benny laughed. "Working with ovens, they'd be real butt-heads to sell stuff in thirteens."

"Yeah, Benny, but how many are on the council doesn't concern us" said Ethan, somewhat impatiently . . . and slightly hypocritically, as he felt the same way. "But we're talking _Toronto Vampire Council_."

Rory frowned as Ethan continued. Rory had been thinking about rifling through his copy of _Teen Aviation Monthly_ (not only was it interesting for teen pilots and teens who wanted to get a flying license someday, it also had the "Teen Aviatrix" . . . a centerfold of a girl pilot in bikini and old school aviator's hat.) But, not after hearing Ethan go through his vision! Rory prided himself on being easy going, but vampires divvying up the city? Draining who-knows-how-many innocent people?

And Rory, still ignorant of what vampire-tradition held about turning people into vampires, imagined a lot of guys like him being invited to vampire parties, bitten and sold brainwashing stories about how gulping down blood made them cool, giving them friends and granting them superpowers . . . while Jesse and those like him downplayed or lied about all the horrible consequences.

Rory, who blamed Jesse instead of Erica for the vampire party fiasco, became angry enough to turn as red as if _he_ had been the one sunburned. He became even angrier when his mind wandered to how Sarah almost had her life ruined forever . . . and to what was done to Erica . . . Erica, who might never get the whole "being a vampire is cool" thing out of her system.

To Ethan, of course, what had happened to Sarah was never out of mind. And the body count that would lead to the vampires considering "rationing" Toronto's victims had horrified him since early that afternoon.

Ethan told his plan for the exposure of the bloodsuckers and . . . hopefully . . . their downfall. Benny thought his best friend sounded as excited as if he were talking about a new _Star Wars_ movie . . . and said as much. But, yeah, destroying the vampires . . . without the three of them having to answer embarrassing questions that would humiliate them, their friends, family and maybe their entire hometown . . . what could be better?

Rory first agreed . . . and then reconsidered. What about the good vampires? Like he, Sarah and Erica had been?

Benny couldn't help it. He laughed outright, but looked embarrassed as Rory was wearing a hurt expression and Ethan gave his shooting-imaginary-laser-beams-from-his-eyes glare.

"Rory" said Ethan, who understood where Rory was coming from. "I swear that there's no chance of that. You three weren't the only ones in Whitechapel . . . you three were probably the only ones in the world."

"Dude" said Benny, with a sudden idea "would it help if we swore on our honour as Jedi?"

" _Awesome_ " said Rory.

"You're right" said Ethan. "We've got to do it!"

The three took out their ultra-violet light sabres (with the new retractable lights/blades), crossed them like the _Three Musketeers_ did their swords, while Ethan and Benny gave their oath that in exposing the world's vampires they would only be exposing the evil monsters who remorselessly preyed on human beings.

That satisfied Rory, who put thoughts of vampires away for the time being, relaxed on his roll-away and turned to _Teen Aviation_.

"So, Ethan how about we kill time with another old school game of _Super Mario Brothers_ . . . .

Benny was interrupted by Ethan's ringtone.

"You can start without me, Benny" said Ethan, checking the call display. "I've gotta answer this. I promised Mom I'd talk to her this afternoon, and tell her how I'm doing."

Benny wondered what could be so private about Ethan's call that he walked off to the laundry room before he answered.

* * *

After the normal "hello, how-are-you, love-you, are-you-having-fun" was finished, Ethan went straight to business.

"Mom, I need to ask your advice" Ethan said seriously. "And I need you to promise not to tell anyone about this. It's very important."

"Well, Ethan" said Samantha, forcing a casual tone, "As your dad and I've told you before, you can always come to us for help and advice."

Samantha didn't feel as casual as she sounded. Ethan didn't often beg for advice from her. As for Ross, he was the one who had to open up a man-to-man talk if he thought Ethan needed it. All in all, Samantha's son was very buttoned-up. And Ethan's severe tone made her worry.

Unbidden, to Samantha's mind came the memory of how Ethan had once spoken to her about seeing-things. Something about visions? Samantha had thought it was harmless imagination. But . . . could Ethan be suffering from a type of mental illness? Hallucinations? Adolescence was when these things appeared! Maybe the stress of being away from home brought it up? Was it very serious?

"I, uh, accidental overheard a conversation between Benny's mother and this man, Alex Hartstein" Ethan lied, or actually, dissembled. Ethan had "accidentally overheard" a conversation between the two! Just not in the way his mother might expect.

"You weren't trying to eavesdrop, were you?" asked Samantha, who couldn't hide the relief in her voice. "The fact that you're their guests makes it all the worse."

"No, Mom" said Ethan, thinking fast. "I swear. I've never . . . willingly . . . eavesdropped . . . on a single . . ordinary . . . living . . . person.

Which was true! Misleading, but true!

"Only the extraordinary non-living ones?" asked Samantha jokingly, though she was cutting close to the truth.

"Yes" said Ethan, with a bit of a grin. "Only the non-living extraordinary ones."

"Okay, Ethan" said Samantha, who didn't believe her son's never eavesdropping story . . . especially given that Benny was Ethan's often cagey best friend. "I believe you didn't intend to eavesdrop on Benny's mother and this Hartstein. You wouldn't be calling me to ask my advice if you did. I guess what you overheard must have been big?"

"The biggest" said Ethan. "Benny's mom is engaged to Alex Hartstein, and she's waiting for the right time to tell Benny.

"Rachel's remarrying?" asked Samantha in surprise. "What's Hartstein like?"

Ethan gave a basic description of the man and his job.

"I wonder if Benny's father knows yet?" mused Samantha contemplatively. "I'm guessing he'll be happy for her . . . and for himself. With Rachel remarrying he won't have to pay any spousal support . . . ."

"Mom!" Ethan objected.

"Don't worry, Ethan" said Samantha. "I've never been a gossip before and I'm not now. So, we're talking about big news. And I'm guessing Benny himself doesn't know? That's your problem?"

"Exactly" said Ethan. "And I'm in a bind, Mom. Do I keep quiet because it's none of my business . . . and feel like a jerk for keeping it from my best friend. Or do I tell him . . . and feel like a jerk because it's a mother-son thing?"

"Neither" said Samantha tersely.

"Huh?"

"You tell Rachel Fishbine the truth" Ethan's mother explained. "You overheard her talking with her fiancé. If I know our former neighbour, that'll finally prod her into telling Benny before the secret could go any further afield. I don't know why she's been waiting. Benny's going to think whatever he thinks, whenever she tells him. Dragging it out is only going to make it worse for her and for Benny. Sometimes I think Rachel's too nice for her own good."

"She's nice" agreed Ethan. "I just hope she stays nice when I tell her what I've heard!"

"You can't do anything about that now" said Samantha. "Except, of course, pretend you never heard a thing? But I don't think you can relax if you feel that you're betraying your friends?"

"I guess not" Ethan said, thinking of the times when his "relaxing" would have been deadly for his friends.

* * *

Ethan had a moment to talk to Benny's mother alone when she drove up the driveway. In a low tone he confessed he had discovered her engagement when he shook hands with Hartstein and accidentally observed his recent past. Ethan hadn't told Benny, although he had felt guilty about keeping the secret for her.

At first, Rachel Fishbine's face flushed with anger. This seer had been using his powers to pry into her secrets and personal life! However, she quickly put that aside as she judged Ethan to be an honest, young man. No more so than as he stood there, obviously deeply concerned about . . . her engagement? Or was it something else?

"I understand, Ethan" said Benny's mother, shamming a gentle tone although she was angry that Ethan knew of her engagement before her own son. "Benny told me you have trouble controlling your seeing power. I'm sure the last thing on your mind was spying on my personal life. I suppose meeting a police inspector does send you on alert? Having the ability to see like you do is a great responsibility."

"As Spiderman's Uncle Ben said" quoted Ethan, " _with great power comes great responsibility_."

"Sir Winston Churchill said it first . . . sixty years before the comic came to print" Benny's mother replied impatiently, letting her irritation show.

Of course, Ethan would feed her a stupid comic book quote! She was worried about Benny and Ethan was blathering about a quote the kid no doubt thought was from the "genius" of Marvel Comics. Rachel wanted to break the news gently to her son, and she had to stand here while a "seer" referenced the wisdom of a comic book character. Could anything be more frustratingly stupid?

"Maybe Uncle Ben got it from Churchill?" Ethan joked nervously. Immediately thinking better of it Ethan added "Okay, I guess I'm sounding like Rory now?"

"A bit" said Benny's mother coldly. "But I suppose if the comic book world has a Churchill, that's where Uncle Ben would get it from."

"Uh, well, um, congratulations" said Ethan abruptly. "Inspector Hartstein seems okay. I mean, if he wasn't, I probably would have seen something."

Rachel looked at Ethan for a moment, finally releasing her tight frown into a smile.

"Thank-you" sighed Rachel, concluding she had just received the world's most awkward _Mazel Tov_. "It's just as well you know. Alex didn't like, as he put it, "standing there like an idiot", unsure what to say when he met my son for the first time. And my mother! Well, you know her! She called me and gave me an earful about how the three of you arrived home too early and it nearly led to her breaking the news to Benny . . . I guess things didn't go too well at the beach?"

"No, things _sure_ didn't go too well at the beach" Ethan replied.

That was an understatement!

"Did you see that bolt of ball lightning?" asked Rachel. "I watched it on the news downtown. I suppose you were amazed by it?"

"We saw it, and _we all thought it was awesome_ " Ethan repeated. "It's one of the rarest natural phenomenon there are."

"But was it natural or supernatural?" questioned Benny's mother, suspiciously. "Benny wasn't responsible?"

"I didn't see Benny cast any spells at the beach" Ethan said in reply. "I did see him try his luck at surfboarding."

"Surfboarding on a calm day on Lake Ontario" sighed Rachel. "I hope _he_ didn't look like a fool."

* * *

Ethan discovering Rachel's engagement did lead to one positive development for Benny's mother. She could conspire with Ethan to keep Rory out-of-the-way while she talked with Benny. It wasn't too difficult. Ethan challenged Rory to an old-school game _Super Mario Brothers 3_ on the ancient _Nintendo_ game system downstairs. When Benny tried to get in on the rock-paper-scissors match to determine who was Mario and who was Luigi, his mother asked Benny if he'd wait why she talked to him.

"Couldn't we talk another time?" Benny complained. "I have a record to beat . . . ."

"Did you come here to play Nintendo or visit me?" Rachel replied irritably.

"Mom!" said Benny, as he found himself again pulled by the ear.

* * *

"What does Benny's mom want to talk to him about so bad?" Rory asked Ethan, as he won rock-paper-scissors and got the "honour" of being Mario. "And alone too?"

"What makes you think that she's desperate to talk to him?" said Ethan, who wondered how Rory saw through the deception _and_ why it bothered him to "only" be Luigi.

"Dude!" Rory objected. "Something's up! Did you hear how Benny's mom acted all offended that Benny wanted to play _Super Mario Brothers 3_! And she had something like two hours to talk to him with us around."

Rory was gullible, but he could be surprisingly cunning at times. After all, Rory tricked Erica into spending a morning with him a few months before . . . all so the Rorster'd sign her nomination papers for the "social director" spot on the sucky vampire council. The social director position she had missed the deadline for, and wouldn't have gotten anyways.

The year before, when Ethan . . . for some reason . . . didn't invited Rory to his party, didn't Rory see through the lame excuse Ethan gave about going to a "garlic and tanning bed convention." Anyway, as Rory thought, even if the guys did go to a "garlic and tanning bed convention", he could now come along and sample both. And there'd be no way they wouldn't ask him to come? They were his buddies. Besides, Benny and Ethan'd be crazy not to go to a garlic convention without the Rorster's garlic-expertise!

Rory did have a short-attention span, however. While he thinking about his garlic-expertise, the Rorster's Mario jumped right into a man-eating-plant.

"What the heck!" he exclaimed.

"Better luck next level" said Ethan, as he put Luigi into action.

* * *

Benny's mother had a strange way of carrying out a casual talk with her son. Instead of going to living room, like any normal person (or so Irene would say later to her hairdresser, while under the dryer), she went to her late father's study. It was a room with mahogany coloured bookcases, old black-and-white photos of relatives, and a small high window facing Cadillac Avenue.

At least Rachel eschewed her father's heavy desk, and sat with Benny on the checkered sofa to the side.

"Grandpa didn't hold with the idea of a man-cave" joked Benny, as he looked around what he always considered a "super-neat" room.

Benny had, in fact, told his late grandfather the room was "super-neat" many year before. Benny's grandfather had smiled quietly and told Benny he'd consider that a compliment.

Benny only thought it was "super-neat" because it had always been stringently cleaned and organized. Benny didn't like anything that was too organized, so he didn't like the room much. In fact, it reminded him of Principal Hicks' office!

"I guess he didn't" said Rachel. "But your grandfather was a very good man."

"I'm not arguing" Benny replied.

"Very patient and thoughtful, just like . . . you" said Rachel, awkwardly, realizing that describing Benny as "patient and thoughtful" was too much . . . even for his mother.

"Yeah, Mom" said Benny embarrassedly. "Uh, yeah Mom. I'm, uh, always . . . thinking of other people? Do you mind . . . we talk about something else?"

"You know that your father and I tried to save our marriage, but we ultimately decided that a divorce was the only way forward. And through that, we decided to remain on civil terms and always consider your best interest."

"We had this talk!" Benny said. "I know. And, thanks. I know there are a lot of parents who are on civil war terms."

"Lame joke, Benny" Rachel couldn't help but reply.

"Come on, it was a little funny?" tried Benny.

"Not really" admitted Rachel. "But because I'm your mother I'll pretend it was."

"But why are we talking about the divorce?" asked Benny.

"Because both your father and I have also agreed that, besides our both loving you of course, we'd have our own lives to lives."

"Oh, yeah" said Benny. "Dad's dating again. Is this what this is about? If I don't mind you dating again? Of course Mom . . . just don't give me any details about the dates." Benny added.

"It's more than just dating" said Rachel, taking a deep breath. "I'm engaged to be married."

Benny did a double take. And realization hit him. The big deal over the sunburn, his grandmother literally dragging him out the room!

"The cop! The detective? You're marrying the cop?" asked Benny. "Yeah, I called it! You're marrying the cop!

"Yes, you guessed right" said Rachel. "But how do you feel?"

Benny looked at his mother quizzically.

"Well . . . he's a detective" said Benny, who balanced the fact he thought being a detective was cool with the fear a detective might start detecting him and his friends. Of course, with none of them being vampires there wasn't much to detect . . . besides his spellmaster powers and Ethan's seer powers!

"What's he going to detect?" Benny finally said.

"He's not going to detect you" said Rachel firmly. "He doesn't live in Whitechapel and he doesn't research or even know about the paranormal. He mainly investigates homicides."

"I guess he's at the top of his league" said Benny.

Benny considered that if Ethan's plan worked not only would Alex Hartstein be investigating the paranormal, Harlow, Gus and Colby would quickly find themselves on file.

"Do you like him?" asked Rachel.

" _I barely met him_ " Benny replied. "I mean, his cop car's awesome. The skunk-hair cut was sort-of-cool . . . ."

"It's his natural colour" Rachel explained. "It's a lot of stress, his job. He had his M.A. before joining the force. We both share similar interests. He grew up not too far away, though we attended different schools."

Benny found the idea of having a "step-father" strange. Especially a homicide detective who he met for all of one minute. Benny hoped he wouldn't be expected to call him "Dad", it was traitorous to his actual Dad. And Benny would be really annoyed if the guy started ordering him around! With his parents and grandmothers . . . well they were actual relatives.

But other than that . . . Benny didn't see any reason to be angry. In the original _Battlestar Galactica_ episode "Lost Planet of the Gods" Apollo married Serenia . . . and Boexy accepted Apollo as his dad just-like-that. Of course, Boxey's real father was probably killed when the twelve colonies were destroyed . . . .

Boxey was a little kid; Benny was sixteen. What kind of a fracking idiot would Benny be if he couldn't accept his mom remarrying! Just so long as Benny didn't have to call Alex Hartstein dad.

" _Mazel Tov_ Mom" said Benny. "It's okay, I guess. I mean, I knew you and Dad weren't going to remarry. I mean, he's a cop . . . so he's probably not a criminal!"

"That's what Ethan told me" Rachel said with a sigh of relief,

" _Ethan . . . knew . . . before . . . me_?" said Benny, outraged . . . actually standing up in his excitement.

Rachel tensed up again as she realized her mistake. "He accidentally had a vision when he shook Alex's hand this afternoon."

"Oh, yeah _that's how_!" said Benny, laughingly sitting down again. "If I know Ethan, he was more uptight about knowing before me than the . . . ."

"Than the _what_?" said Rachel, "you weren't responsible for that ball lightning on the beach?"

"Mom, I wasn't responsible for the ball lightning on the beach" said Benny, carefully dissembling.

 _It was the vampires who were responsible_! Benny wouldn't have had to make the thunderball if the vampires hadn't tried to kill Ethan, Rory and the bikini beach babes!

"Ethan assured me _he didn't_ see you cast as spell" observed Rachel, who now realized the strangely wooden phrasing of both boys. "You say you weren't abusing your magic . . . well, I don't need to tell you Evelyn has ways of telling when you're abusing your magic.

"I wasn't abusing my magic" said Benny, relieved.

As Benny was wary of offending his Grandmother Evelyn by misusing his power, Rachel didn't press her son anymore. There was, anyway, one thing more she wanted to tell him.

This was Harstein's first marriage, and Rachel was still a young woman. They intended to buy a house in North York. They intended to start a family together.

"That's cool Mom" said Benny, as she gave him a hug.

* * *

Ethan congratulated Benny. Rory, unsure what to do, figured he should just follow Ethan's lead. Both Ethan and Rory reassured Benny about getting a step-dad, although their parents weren't divorced so neither had any idea what it was like.

Ethan and Rory _also_ remembered Apollo and Serenia's marriage. They pointed to "Lost Planet of the Gods" as one of the most awesome episodes of the original _Battlestar Galactica_.

Benny chose not to remind them that Boxey's mom Serenia died at the end of the episode . . . a fact which now haunted his mind. Nor did Benny remind them that Boxey was little seen in later episodes of the series. Of course, an adult Boxey starred in _Galactica 1980_ . . . but only Rory was crazy enough to be a fan of _Galactica 1980_.

As Benny watched Ethan and Rory fight through _Super Mario Brothers 3_ , he considered what was bugging him. Benny was being all but written out of his mom's life and that of his mom's family. He was the awesome spellmaster, but in the future was he was going to be an outcast, the weird paranormal son from the first marriage? His mom would have a new husband and new children and . . . .

Wait a second, Benny thought! Was he going to be all emo? He hated emo-junk! He'd stay in touch . . . even if it would soon only be the occasional email instead of the live video chats. And his dad and Grandma Evelyn couldn't replace him! He was the only child on his dad's side of the family.

Besides, dealing with the bloodsuckers was _way_ more important right now! Tomorrow . . . .

"Frack!" Ethan groaned.

Somewhere in World Four, Ethan's Luigi had been eaten by a giant fish.

Benny would usually have a good joke lined up (something about Ethan being a seer but missing a giant fish in an ancient video game older then they were). But Benny didn't feel up to joking, not just yet.


	17. Plot and Counterplot

**Plot and Counterplot**

Often enough, a good night's sleep is enough to put aside the worries of the day before. No more so than with Benny, who didn't worry much to begin with. But Benny woke-up upbeat, figuring that his idea of being shutout from his mom's side of the family was overblown. _Probably_.

Benny seriously considered talking-it-over with Ethan. But he couldn't bring himself to be all _emo_ in front of his best friend. Let alone talking-it-over with Rory! Discussing girls was okay, so was talking over his grandmother's magic . . . but . . . his worries about family? No way!

Well, at least Benny awoke with what he considered a cool tan. At breakfast he again reminded Ethan and Rory about their burning-like-marshmallows if they didn't slather-on the sun-screen.

Benny ended up with lox and cream cheese on his face; his grandmother had decided to give everybody a light breakfast given the hot weather.

As for Grandma Irene, Benny wondered why she hadn't blown her top! She must have heard everything from the kitchen? Benny was relieved . . . but was suspicious his Grandmother Irene was secretly on Ethan and Rory's side of the sun-screen dispute.

* * *

Ethan's plan had to be put into effect the day of the robbery. So the three planned to spend today at the _Ontario Science Centre_ , despite it being "too sciency" . . . in Benny's words. It helped the place was air-conditioned. Ontario was now being hit by a major heat wave that wasn't forecast to let up until a cold front went in late the next night.

This was also the first day the three carried light sabres everywhere; it was lucky that it was only a weapon against vampires and no _living person_ had problems with the three carrying around retractable tanning-bed lights.

On the way to the science centre, Ethan spent the last of the $300.00 reward money given by Mabel and Marleen. Ethan bought the cheapest pre-paid cellular phone he could find. Ethan knew that to call 911 you didn't need to register the phone . . . .

"At least the old ladies would be happy to know we're using it to catch the vamps" Ethan reflected, as he handed over the last of his share of the reward money. "I mean, if they knew there were vampires to catch."

"Edge Walk and vampire catching" said Rory, as he too gave up his share. "I guess there's no better way to spend the cash.

The three dropped their discussion, as the middle-aged cashier gave them a perplexed gaze.

"Yeah, it's not as if we wasted it" said Benny, after they left the store and stood waiting by the bus-stop. Benny looked disgustedly at the old-school phone Ethan had spent his cash on. "Well, most of it. I got rid of my flip phone two years ago."

"We're only using it for one thing" said Ethan. "And it's lucky the police don't have our fingerprints otherwise we'd have to clean it off. We might have too, just to be safe."

"Well, wouldn't the bloodsuckers fingerprints smudge ours" said Rory, as he took a picture of himself making a funny-face in front of the TTC bus-stop sign. "I mean, if they find it. I mean, if bloodsuckers have fingerprints? Dudes, do they? I mean, they don't show up on camera or in the mirror? So is it the same with prints?"

"Don't you know?" Benny asked incredulously.

"I never figured to check" Rory admitted.

"Well, it wouldn't have done you any good" Ethan observed, but he too started to wonder. "But . . .uh . . . do the un-dead have prints, Benny?"

"Dude, you're asking me!" Benny replied incredulously.

"Well, you're studying it" Ethan explained, "You know, with your spell book and your grandmother's lessons."

"You're the seer, the guy with the plans!" Benny retorted. "You're the guy who researches, looks things up and has the visions! Haven't you figured it out?"

"How the heck would I know if vampires leave fingerprints?" Ethan fumed.

The three missed their bus while arguing over the idea of whether vampires do or don't have fingerprints. And who should know best . . . . the seer, the spell-master or the ex-vampire? The argument could have gone on all day, until Ethan realized that _he didn't really care if vampires left fingerprints or not_. And Benny realized that he didn't want to waste his day arguing about it.

As for Rory, he desperately wanted to get to the Ontario Science Centre's IMAX theatre in time for the first film.

* * *

The three avoided the Wilson Subway Station, and took a bus-ride to the station at Sheppard and Young. Who knew if Colby, Gus or Harlow were waiting there for them at Wilson? Well, if the people at the Wilson subway station paid attention they would see a pale teenager in a broad-rimmed fedora hat and overpriced clothes occupying a bench all day. The close-eyed observer leaving to work in the morning would have noticed the slightly-scarred face in the morning; scars that had vanished by the night.

As for Colby, he was even more bitter than he had been of late. Colby Flood Jr. wasn't a low-level hood! Here he was, being forced to wait all day to catch a glimpse of the milquetoasts he had lost the day before. Colby had been browbeaten, and Harlow had threatened to force Colby _to legally transfer all his property to Harlow as penalty for his goof-up_.

Not only had Colby the indignity of shining Harlow's riding boots (a very medieval form of punishment in Colby's opinion). Harlow, having a low opinion of Colby's competence, had taken away his "smart cellular telephone". Harlow feared his enforcer would spent the day playing _Angry Birds_ instead of watching for his quarry.

And what of Harlow and Gus? They were in the mood for international cuisine. They were prowling the arrivals hall at the Toronto-International Airport. Yet Colby had been forbidden by Harlow of feeding on anybody at the subway station; lest he tip off Ethan when the missing person report inevitably went out.

* * *

Harlow was extremely angry that night. And it wasn't only because he had heartburn . . . his victim, a solitary traveller, must have had garlic fairly recently . . . so trace amounts of that toxin was present in the blood. At least it had been their last meal! Served them right for so annoying Harlow!

Having commandeered Colby's long-unoccupied family home, Harlow sat brooding on one of the fifty-thousand dollar chairs at the one-hundred thousand dollar table intended for the future use of the vampire council. It was some consolation that Colby had been shocked by such a use of his funds!

But it was only small consolation! Not only had Harlow been exiled from Whitechapel by a group of teenagers and the fool Stern . . . not only were they responsible for the demise of Anastasia . . . he, Harlow, was at a loss to prevent them from running about Toronto as they pleased. To be defeated, and by the three geeky members of the group, no less.

For the first time, Harlow wondered what they were doing in the city. Ethan was a powerful seer; did he, could he, obtain a vision of his doings _all the way_ over in Whitechapel? Did the lack of dark energy in Whitechapel strengthen the seer? Was Harlow being deliberately _pursued_ by three bungling idiots?

Bungling idiots! Where was Sarah! If this had been an organized campaign, Sarah would have been with the others! Really, the only one with an adult-mentality in the group! She would have vetoed that idiotic elephant-draining story from the start!

By pure happenstance did the three fools find Harlow. An annoyance placed in his way by ever-ascendent providence; unstoppable since Jesse presumed to trap an unwilling girl into vampirism . . . and an altogether ignorant and harmless boy. It was one of those revolting coincidences that ever-favoured the seer and his friends! The trio were in Toronto on merely personal business! Find that business, and you find the geeks!

But here Harlow was at a loss. He summoned the bitter Colby to his presence. Colby, who hated the very sight of the overpriced antiques furniture. Colby, however, was best with an "electronic calculating machine." Those on the vampire council rarely bothered with such trifles!

"That can't be what they're called?" Harlow insisted, "Aren't they called comptometers? I do make a habit of reading the newpapers, you see, but I can't be expected to keep up with such trivia."

"No, they don't use comptometers anymore" said Colby, scratching his head, thinking as he stared at his laptop. For all his pretense at modernity, he was like a very old man when it came to naming new technology. "No, uh, comptometers were replaced by calculators. This is really, a, uh, computer. A portable model, a labtop or laptop, I can't remember which."

"If you are truly an acolyte of your late maker, Jesse" observed Harlow "you should really update your vocabulary. At least, Jesse did choose well . . .you do have the right attitude . . . if not the requisite mental power . . . for long-term immortality . . . and let us say a more important role in the future? You can even keep title to your property, that is if you continue your service."

Colby's eyes glowed a greedy yellow at this, though he resented the dig at his intelligence.

"Well, go on that inter-web gadget and see what you can find about those three . . . ."

"Milquetoasts" suggested Colby.

"That's too mild a word" replied Harlow. "Not to mention particularly dated slang."

* * *

The "inter-web" didn't provide much help. Ethan, Benny and Rory's Facebook pages had high privacy filters. It was an idea of the sometimes prudent Benny's . . . in case Team Sabre's enemies tried to spy on the group by going to their Facebook page. It was in the same vein as Benny's planting holy-water water pistols near his house, or sending Ethan a spell with which to combat Evil Benny in case of his return.

Colby did find, to his disgust, Rory, Sarah and Erica's recent front-page picture in the _Whitechapel Bystander_. Rory had visited a crooked spa for a two-dollar tanning-bed treatment; the incompetents burned him and he had revealed the scam in the paper. _Erica_ had been falsely identified as Rory's girlfriend in the photo. It was no fault of Rory's, but as happy as he was with the announcement . . . Rory was careful to avoid running into Erica for the next few days.

"Get me Gus" said Harlow, smirking. "Erica used to work for him. Strange! As I recall, she had as little use for Rory as I did. This claim may be a fraud. Rory was one for self-aggrandizement in front of the council. Self-aggrandizement in the nature of a particularly brainless adolescent boy; self-aggrandizement in an altogether _human_ mode no less! Rory even dared tell us he had been on a date with Sarah! Yet, we should take heed of this report nonetheless!

" _Take heed_?" questioned Colby. "Talk about outdated."

"Never mind that" said Harlow, opening into a fanged grin. "Get Gus. He may have some insights."

* * *

Gus had been more careful in his selection at the airport, and only regretted that he hadn't a chance to spice his victim by having her consume a delightful lime and cinnamon sauce of his own concoction. Gus raised an eyebrow to hear that Erica, who had once shown _some_ promise, would be dating a boy like Rory. Gus had never heard Rory so much as mentioned.

"Then tell me what you know of Erica's likes and dislikes" commanded Harlow.

Gus did, as Harlow sat back and closed his eyes thoughtfully. Harlow rarely asked or questioned Gus's account . . . until one detail excited his curiosity.

"Toronto has four daily newspapers" Harlow observed. "Three broadsheets and one tabloid. All morning editions, in these benighted times evening editions are no longer published. It's fortunate I used Colby's name to get a subscription for each."

Gus handed Harlow the newspapers, remarking that Harlow could simply get the information "electronically". Harlow replied he'd rather read it for himself.

* * *

In the third paper, Harlow discovered what he was looking for.

"Tomorrow night they are ours" said Harlow. "It's a pity our laws rightly hold that it is such a fraught, dangerous and _banned_ undertaking to turn the unwilling and unwitting into vampires. If it weren't so, and if a cure wasn't now so readily available, do you know what I would do?"

"What?" asked Gus. "Don't tell me you'll use them as guards, like Colby suggested."

"Oh no" said Harlow. "I would have them each survive as one of us, but merely so long as it would take them to graduate from mere fledgeling to full vampire. It would likely be the most exquisite torture for Ethan and Benny. As for Rory, given how much his attitude has changed, it would likely drive him out of his feeble mind. Especially with the treatment I would inflict to obtain their conversion into full vampires."

"What's that?" Gus scoffed. "How could you possibly torture them by having them feed on human blood?"

"You forget" said Harlow. "They are not like us. Jesse's method, that so imperilled us, was amateurish compared to the prohibited method of vampiric vengeance of which I know. We would lock the three unwilling-fledgelings into a cell! How they would suffer as they felt the first pangs of their bloodlust! And what would they eat? Nothing but the living, breathing human victim that we provide . . . imprisoned with them. _Perhaps a fair teenage maiden with flaxen hair, as comely in attitude as she is in appearance?_ And of course, she would be well provided with the choicest meals and drink. So would Ethan, Benny and Rory. But you see, the three boys will no longer be human! Such sustenance would be of no value to them. Their blood-thirst would grow by the hour, then by the minute, by the second!

Oh, they would try . . . so desperately try . . . not to look hungrily upon her. Try to be courteous and kind. Yet soon enough they won't be able to keep their fangs within their gums. Soon enough, their eyes will glow yellow. They will desperately sit on the far side of their cell. Desperately avoiding preying on her. But they will break. They will fight one another . . . first to protect the girl from one another, then over the spoils of their prey. And having morally humbled them, we would then finally physically destroy the three of them. . . or, more likely, _the survivors or survivor_ of the struggle I have so described."

"But how will you dispose of the survivors . . . if any?" asked Gus greedily, eyes aglow.

"Ah yes" said Harlow, as he too allowed his eyes to glow and his fangs to protrude. "Staking for a human is horribly painful, but not particularly so for a vampire. However, being burnt alive, as happened with Jesse's flock, that is ideal. _Nonetheless, this is merely a beautiful dream! IF we used this process on them, we're like to end up destroyed ourselves in short order_. No, with these three the trick is to take them by surprise."

"Ethan might be a delicious meal after all" suggested Gus. "I think . . . I think . . . having him plain may be the best preparation."

"No, I shall personally take care of him, as he is no doubt the leader" said Harlow. "I refuse to allow his death to be so leisurely as _merely_ being drained dead. It will be a relatively utilitarian demise, of necessity . . . yet terribly frightening notwithstanding."


	18. A New Hope

**A NEW HOPE**

Top of mind for Ethan and Benny the following day was the mortal blow they were about to strike against vampires. Top of mind for Rory was the awesome time they'd have at the _Single Tear_ concert that night. To be fair, striking a mortal blow against _evil_ bloodsuckers was second.

Third for all three was the advertisement they saw at the IMAX theatre the day before. The IMAX theatre downtown was showing the very first _Star Wars_ film, _Episode 4 A New Hope_!

Ethan felt you couldn't have a better day . . . well, he still hated _Single Tear_ but he'd sit through it for his pal Rory. Ethan was also a little disappointed that, in her text message, Sarah didn't really understand how cool it was see _Star Wars_ in an IMAX theatre. That was one thing you couldn't do in Whitechapel! Sarah wished him a good time, but she figured he could just watch his Blue Ray Ultimate Extreme Platinum Collector's Set whenever he felt like it.

Their Blue Ray Ultimate Extreme Platinum Collector's _Sets_ , in fact. Rory and Benny each had their own, and like Ethan, knew every minute of the film by heart.

But first things first. The _Bank of Hamilton_ and thwarting what Benny now called _The Bloodsuckers' Bank Robbery_.

* * *

In one of those strokes of luck that favoured Ethan (like his lucky lighter toss at _Westdale Theatre_ setting off the sprinklers), it just happened that the Morgans were clients of the _Bank of Hamilton_. Ethan just happened to have a Young Savers Account. And with a five-dollar deposit into his account (the money lent by Rory), Ethan would provide the distraction while Benny did his spellmaster-stuff.

Benny, Ethan and Rory caught a ride with Benny's mother downtown. The Downtown Toronto branch of the _Bank of Hamilton_ was west of University Avenue. It was a fine, four-story Art Deco building, but had long been dwarfed in Toronto's post-war high-rise boom.

Ethan and Benny entered the building through a revolving door.

There were no less than seven automatic teller machines at the front (and a modern glass and metal partition that allowed this area to stay open after hours). Beyond it was a heavy door, with a heavy lock . . . and a button to open it automatically. Ethan looked at it.

"We don't need to do anything with this one, guys" he said. "Hey, where's the Rorster?"

"Grow up, Rory" said Benny impatiently, looking behind him.

Rory just _had_ to go round-and-round the revolving door a couple times.

"We're supposed to be inconspicious" Ethan reminded Rory.

"I _like_ revolving doors" Rory replied petulantly. "Okay guys, it's fun but, well, maybe . . . _maybe_ . . . it's a little dumb."

For Rory, that was a major concession.

The three entered the main portion of the bank. It had marble walls adorned with much polished chrome and even more posters advertizing various accounts, loans and credit cards contracts. A hallway off to the side led to a number of loan and investment officers. The tellers desks, most of them empty as tellers had been largely replaced by internet banking and ATMs, were modern and went around the rest of the room in front of the vault.

The vault itself featured a large metal door, an open door. It was furthest away from the exit but only several steps behind a row of tellers desks.

"Pretty stupid" Benny muttered to Ethan. "Putting all the money where everybody can see it. The bank branches in Whitechapel don't."

"They had vampires to deal with back home" Ethan joked. "Okay, they didn't know they had bloodsuckers to deal with, but the bank where my parents go is a modern building. This is an old-school vault. I guess it costs too much to move or replace."

"When they find the bloodsuckers in there, I bet you they'll move it" said Benny. "Fast. Yesterday if they could!"

"Well, the fact the vault is out in the open is lucky for us" Ethan observed. "Not so much for the vamps."

At they talked, the three hovered around the desk where clients used to write deposit and withdrawal slips, but now just held a number of multi-coloured pamphlets.

"Okay, Benny" said Ethan. "You do your stuff, while I make the deposit. Rory, just pretend you're interested in opening an account."

Ethan, Benny and Rory waited in line, behind several older people. Again, as good fortune would have it, they had the teller right-in-front of the vault.

"Your home branch is Whitechapel, Ontario?" asked the middle-aged woman. "What are you doing in Toronto?"

"Visiting my friends" said Ethan.

"How do you like it?"

This was great! Although Ethan wasn't much for small talk, this was the perfect distraction! And all he had to do was discuss where he'd been recently!

Benny, leaning lazily against the tellers desks, covertly took the phone out of his pocket. With a careful look around, he muttered " _Phone'um, floatum, nummow_."

Benny floated the old-style flip phone expertly (okay, inexpertly) along the side of the next tellers desk over. It bobbed along slowly and inconspicuously into the vault; the security cameras were not aimed at the floor, and Benny was hovering the phone only a couple feet above. Near the front of the vault, Benny could see rows of safety deposit boxes, the ones near the vault door were empty. So which one would he choose? Well, Benny had turned sixteen, so sixteen it was! With a clang the phone hit the empty metal box and shut it. A few people looked towards the vault.

"What was that?" the teller asked Ethan.

"I don't know" Ethan lied, and looked to Rory, who shrugged on cue.

" **CRASH!** " went the vault door, as it slammed shut and locked automatically.

Everybody at the bank looked toward the vault door in genuine surprise, except for Ethan, Benny and Rory. While they too stared at the vault, their alarm was counterfeit.

Benny had used a second spell, the spell he had used at Ethan's Halloween party last October. At that party, Rory had been possessed by an evil medicine man's mask and cursed Ethan's guests into becoming their costumed character. None of the guests had been able to leave (though Ethan's mother had been able to enter and turned into a witch for her trouble).

Placing the spell on the vault meant that the safe couldn't be broken open from the inside. The vault could be opened and closed from the outside, however.

Benny, Ethan and Rory watched, alongside several other customers, as the bank manager, assistant manager and security guards unlocked the vault and looked around the interior.

"Everything is all right" said the manager, to the small crowd. "There's no robbery! The door hadn't be open all the way, and it simply closed up. Just an added security feature. And a little interest in your morning, to be sure."

"Maybe the bank is haunted!" said some wag to general laughter all round.

"I hope not" said Ethan to Benny. "The last thing we need right is a ghost to frack up our plans."

But, at least for the moment, no ghost appeared. After Ethan, Benny and Rory left the bank, and walked a block or two away, Ethan repeated his hopes for the trap:

"Harlow, Gus and Colby will be able to get into the vault, but they won't be able to break out. Vampire super-strength won't help them. And the world will know everything they say . . . at time of the robbery, I programmed the phone to call 911. With their volume on MUTE. It's a small phone, but the acoustics in a vault are great for picking up voices. The 911 operators will hear and record everything the bloodsuckers say. They'll be letting out the fact they're vamps and maybe a lot of bloodsucking secrets too! We know from you, Rory, that bloodsuckers' voices can be recorded. Remember when you tried to make that video telling the world you were Pranky?"

"Yeah" said Rory sulkily, who wasn't fond of that particular video displaying the paint rollers but not him. "But dudes, did you see my re-shoot from a few weeks ago? With _me_ on it?"

"Yeah, Rory" said Benny. "And . . . it . . . was . . . awesome!"

Benny gave Rory a high-five.

"Wait guys' said Benny, stopping as his hand was still in mid-air. "What if the bloodsuckers start talking about us?"

"Why would they?" asked Ethan.

"Because we're fracking awesome" Benny said. "They'll know my cool spellmaster abilities trapped their un-dead butts in the vault."

"Remember, most vampires don't like using last names" Ethan replied. "Some insane vampire tradition thing. Harlow was saying that. I don't remember Jesse or Anastasia calling me Ethan Morgan . . . though Jesse told me he knew my great-great grandfather or something. Harlow only called me Morgan, Ethan Morgan to mock me for trying to copy double-o 7."

"But I always used . . . ." started Rory.

"You, Sarah and Erica used your last names . . . because you were still were living your normal lives those two years you were bloodsuckers." Ethan explained. "Especially you and Sarah. _Erica too_. The vamps usually don't think about last names, so they're not going to mention ours. The worst thing that can happen is they mention one or more of our first names, among a lot of others."

"And they'll be too busy talking about vampire-escape schemes to do that" said Benny. "Besides, they won't want to give us too much credit."

"But by this time . . . tomorrow morning . . . every news site and news channel will be talking bloodsuckers" said Rory.

"And the police and the government should be able to find a way to safely get three vampires out of a vault" observed Ethan. "Or just stake them there."

"They'll probably call Doug" suggested Rory. "Maybe he'll go back into scare finding?"

Ethan and Benny exchanged looks, but said nothing.

* * *

From the bank, the three walked to the _Hockey Hall of Fame_. The three thought it was cool, though hockey fans Ethan and Benny enjoyed it more than Rory. Nevertheless, even Rory couldn't fail to be impressed by the Stanley Cup . . . .

* * *

After burgers for lunch, was _Star Wars Episode 4: A New Hope_. Benny joked that Erica probably thought _Episode 1_ and not _Episode 4_ had been the first _Star Wars_ film. The three friends laughed at how anyone could be so stupid as to think _The Phantom Menace_ was made first.

There wasn't much to be said about the film, only that Ethan, Benny and Rory were so amped up by watching _Star Wars_ on an IMAX screen they talked about it for an hour afterwards. Not only that, but everyone there thought the trios ultra-violet light sabres were amazing.

* * *

Ethan, Rory and Benny decided to look around the large "PATH" System, a large complex of interconnected underground shopping malls and tunnels. The "Skywalk" they used to get to the CN Tower was the far-southwestern point of the system, but now they went the much larger portion between the Eaton Centre and Lake Ontario, a veritable maze of stores, hallways, escalators, stairs, elevators and tunnels.

"This is cool" said Rory, still overexcited from _Star Wars_ and eagerly anticipating the concert that night. "I mean, it's like the best maze _ever_ , there are restaurants everywhere so you can eat whenever and wherever you get hungry. And if you get tired of wandering around you can always look at the signs and find an exit or zoom out in a subway. I wonder why these people are all dressed up in suits, carrying around briefcases and stuff and always going up in elevators to the buildings? All that's up there is boring offices. It's way more fun down here."

"Because they have to go to work in those boring offices, thousands on thousands of them" said Ethan. "As cool as this maze is, it makes me sort of homesick for Whitechapel. I mean, it's a great place to visit, but you really get lost in this crowd. Even with all the weird stuff always going on there, _I like Whitechapel_. Give me a small town and a small town g . . . ."

Ethan stopped himself, but it was too late.

"A small town girl like Sarah" said Benny, amused. "Dude, you _still_ can't stop talking about her!"

Benny and Rory each clapped Ethan on the shoulder.

* * *

The friends didn't explore the PATH for long. They happened to run into a large comic book and video game store that kept them distracted for the rest of the afternoon. With the evening coming on, they decided to eat in the next food court they found. And, naturally, they went for pizza . . . fortunately stumbling across a great sub-basement restaurant that made fresh pizza.

Sadly, at least from Benny's perspective, the place didn't serve _Reese's Pieces_ Pizza. Even three friends can disagree on pizza toppings, so that took a while to sort out. The three argued, compromised, and finally decided to try a Sicilian Pizza. Rory, as he usually did, volunteered to get the pizza . . . not to mention the side of garlic bread and cheese with root beer to drink.

Benny, now that the excitement of Star Wars and the vampire-trap had let up, and with nothing in the evening but the _Single Tear_ concert, decided that he'd tell Ethan his misgivings about his mother's remarriage. After all, Rory would be awhile with the pizza, garlic bread and root beer.

"I've gotta tell you something" said Benny.

"I know" said Ethan, who was thoughtful. "We shouldn't let Rory get the food all the time anymore. I mean, when he was a bloodsucker it made sense because he could be to the kitchen and back in a second. But now he's cured, it's no easier for him than us. We should probably start taking turns again."

"Nah, he likes to get the stuff" said Benny dismissively. "When Rory gets tired of grabbing the snacks all the time, we can go back to taking turns like we used to. No, I wanted to talk to you about my mom and Alex Hartstein."

"What about it?" asked Ethan, with some surprise.

"Well, Mom not only wants to marry him . . . I wonder what I should call him? Alex? Step-Dad? Step-Dad Alex? I hope he doesn't want me to call him Dad? Man, I can only call Dad _Dad_. Inspector Hartstein or Mr. Hartstein is just _awkward_. Detective Dad?"

"I guess you can talk it over with your mom and him" shrugged Ethan.

"Buddy, that's not what I wanted to ask you" Benny said. "Mom and him want to have, uh, well, a family."

"I guess that's sort of creepy" Ethan allowed, considering the point and then figuring he didn't want to think too deeply about it. "But she's marrying again and we've already agreed he seems like a decent guy."

"No, Ethan" said Benny, with a grimace as he was going to have to blab his worries outright. "Where do you think this leaves me? I mean, here I am. Benny Weir, only son of mom's first marriage. The guy with the magical powers. Different religion than mom's family. Here's mom, marrying again. New kids. New husband, with a Jewish name. Living in North York or somewhere in the area. You don't think . . . I'm going to be shut out? I'm not trying to be all emo or anything, but . . . the idea's bugging me."

Ethan looked at Benny in surprise. Talk about doing something out-of-character! When did the emotionally-indestructible Benny get so wrought-up? Well, he was disappointed on occasion, wasn't he? Only temporarily, after a particularly harsh rejection. When those two girls stuffed food in his face? That time when his efforts with Della went south? But Benny's mom was remarrying . . . that was big. Ethan was privileged in that his parents' marriage was as solid as ever. But Ethan did have _one experience_ to go by. It might be good advice.

"Look Benny" Ethan explained. "You're an only child. So is . . . ."

"Sarah?" guessed Benny, mischievously.

"Actually, I was going to say Rory" Ethan said. "But, uh, look, when I was six-years-old Jane was born. It was an adjustment. My Mom and Dad only had so much time for us both, and she was a baby. But it . . . didn't mean they liked me any less, pal. And I was six! You're sixteen, you don't need your mom all the time anyway. In fact you don't want your parents around _all_ the time, but just . . . to be there, if you know what I mean."

"What about me being the odd-guy out?" said Benny. "I mean, I have my Dad's family, Grandma . . . Evelyn, but it's weird to think that I'll be shut out from Mom, Grandma Irene and the rest of their family."

"Benny" said Ethan with a broad grin. "Your mom was so worried about your reaction to her marrying again that she kept delaying and delaying telling you. It was only because my crazy seer power went haywire again . . . I told her I found out . . . ."

"Yeah, she told me" Benny observed. "I mean, it's insane you knew first, but I get you didn't do it on purpose."

"Yeah, but she cared so much about your feelings that my finding out was the only reason she was finally prompted to talk with you. That's the point I'm getting to" said Ethan. "Do you think that's the type of mom who'll forget her oldest son just because she has a new husband? All of a sudden she's going to decide she doesn't like her son . . . because he's a spell-master and uses his powers to fight evil monsters who prey on the innocent?

"No" said Benny simply. Benny now felt like an idiot.

"And your Grandma" continued Ethan, now that he was finally on a roll. "This is the woman who nearly strangled us with hugs. She's the one who made a big deal out of Rory calling her your "Other Grandma." In the old days, she even came out to Whitechapel to visit you! And she already has two other kids and grandchildren from then! Yeah, sure, Benny, you're going to be the odd guy out! Shut-out! Calm down, pal. I don't have any experience with remarriage, but I'm sure you'll be fine."

"How do you think Hartstein's going to treat me?" said Benny.

"He's going to be an _eee-vil_ stepfather right out of a little kid's story" Ethan scoffed. "The guy stood there playing dumb when he met you, just so he wouldn't ruin your mom's chance to break the news to you! Alex Hartstein didn't pick apart Rory for wanting a ride in his cruiser with the lights on. He showed us his gun. I'm sure he'll be okay . . . unless you decide to seriously prank him."

"No, I wouldn't do that" said Benny. "Not the cop who's marrying my mom. But thanks Ethan, I guess I needed someone to, uh, clearly think it out."

"Anytime, Benny" said Ethan, clapping Benny on the shoulder. "This is really big . . . in a way. I mean it's not . . . .

"Whazzzzzz up guys" interrupted Rory, balancing a tray of pizza, garlic bread and root beer. "Is this awesome or is this awesome?"

"It's awesome" said Ethan, grinning. "Not much of a choice?"

* * *

They ate supper in the manner of most teenage boys, quickly stuffing it down. While gulping his root beer, Ethan happened to glance at his smart phone. Bank closing time! Well, _Bank of Hamilton_ bank closing time . . . it closed later than most other banks.

"The bank's closed" Ethan said, "the vault is locked, the time lock has also been placed in force . . . ."

"And my spell has made sure it won't open from the inside" Benny explained.

"Three evil bloodsuckers caged!" bragged Ethan.

"And the cell phone on their voices recorded at police headquarters . . . or 911 headquarters, wherever that is" said Rory.

"You know guys" said Ethan. "This calls for a _Battlestar Galactica_ handshake."

As they did before facing off against the Siren, Ethan and Benny shook hands in the manner that's usually called a Roman handshake. Then Ethan and Benny took turns shaking Rory's proffered right hand, or rather right forearm.


	19. The Vampires Strike Back

**THE VAMPIRES STRIKE BACK**

When the three took their seats at the Air Canada Centre, Ethan passed his smartphone to Benny, who gave a wide grin. Rory said "Cool."

Atypically, Ethan had gone to a newspaper's website. " _Attempted Robbery at the Main Toronto Branch of the Bank of Hamilton_." The article itself merely stated that there were more details to come.

"By the 11:00 news, the fact there are vampires hunting innocent people is going to be known around the world" said Benny.

"Maybe they're going to keep it secret" said Rory. "It'll be too much for the public to digest. Maybe they're will be a secret vampire hunting task-force?"

"They couldn't now" said Ethan practically. "Too many ordinary cops and 911 operators know already. The most they could do is suppress the news a few days."

* * *

During the _Single Tear_ concert, Ethan couldn't help but wish he was at the ACC watching the _Toronto Maple Leafs_ instead of this group he could barely stand. Especially with songs like _It's So Tough When Everyone Wants To Be You_ and _Signing Autographs Gives Me Writer's Cramp_. While Ethan could see why _Erica_ liked them, he wondered why _Rory_ did?

Ethan guessed, that to all Rory's pretense that they "understood him", Rory liked them because it allowed Rory to imagine himself a big-shot like them. As "MC Monster Bat" Rory's said he liked the fact his music made kids feel good. So, Ethan guessed, that Rory and _Single Tear's_ other teenaged fans liked the group's music because it let them feel great. When _Single Tear's_ fans listened to their groups' stupid complaints, they felt that like Single Tear they were rich and famous.

This idea, at least, softened Ethan's hatred of that incredibly vain group. As for Rory? Well Ethan was happy that his pal had the chance to be a big-shot, instead of "living" stuck as a fourteen-year old rat-biting bloodsucker.

* * *

Benny enjoyed the concert, but not for the music (Benny thought _Single Tear_ was a group of fatheaded dorks). He, Benny, finally, was making headway with a girl . . . the hot one sitting beside him. Sure, Benny had to pretend to be a _Single Tear_ fan . . . but it was all good.

"I'm staying in North York with my mom, I've been looking forward to this concert for weeks" lied Benny between songs. "I'm all the way from Whitechapel, that's way in Southwestern Ontario."

"Me, I've been looking forward for it for months" said the blonde, blue-eyed Natalie, who was there with a friend named Cathy. "We've come down from Barrie. Cathy came with me, but she doesn't get it how like them we are."

"She doesn't?" said Benny, acting surprised.

"She'd rather be at home in Barrie on a date with her boyfriend" said Natalie critically. "Would you believe they love elecro-pop? And that he's shorter than her . . . not tall like you."

While Benny liked electronic music (Musetronics!), he pretended he didn't. And there was nothing so great to his ears as to have a girl _finally_ complement him on his height. And there was how she said it!

"The guy's crazy! You can't beat _Single Tear_!" said Benny.

Benny offered to meet Natalie and Cathy outside the ACC after the concert. Their way back home, like Benny's, led through Union Station . . . Stacey and Cathy on a commuter train to Barrie, Benny by way of the subway to North York.

* * *

As for Rory, this was best way to end the ultimate day! Trapping evil vampires, _Star Wars_ , a genuine maze, burgers, pizza, _Single Tear_! All with his Team Sabre pals!

And it wasn't over. A uniformed security guard came over, and flashed his ID badge.

" _Single Tear_ wants to meet with some fans after the show" said the guard. "They heard you three guys came all the way from near Windsor, or Sarnia, or wherever. You're Ethan Morgan, Benny Weir, and Rory Keener?"

"Yeah, we are!" said Rory, who jumped up and down in his excitement. "COOL! AWESOME!"

It struck Ethan that this would be the time that, as a vampire, Rory would have started randomly floating into the air. Jumping up and down was a big improvement!

It struck Benny he could make a good impression on Natalie. He'd give up his chance to visit _Single Tear_ to her. He didn't really want to meet the fatheaded dorks, and she'd be _really impressed_ by his sacrifice.

But Natalie wouldn't hear of it . . . nor would the security guard, who said the invitation was for the three boys only. Yet, it did make Benny look really good.

"You guys must be the coolest ever, to meet _Single Tear_ " said Natalie, grabbing Benny's neck, pulling his head down and kissing him on the cheek. "We'll be waiting for you outside the main entrance."

Benny was so awestruck that he barely heard Cathy tell her friend, "You're out of your mind. Those were obviously geeks. Didn't you see the Star Wars swords they were carrying!"

"They're called Jedi light sabres, Cathy" Natalie retorted. "Don't talk about things you know nothing about!"

Benny took to Rory's opinion! It was the most . . . awesome . . . day . . . ever.

As for Ethan, although he and Rory gave Benny high fives, it suddenly struck him that Natalie might be more Rory's type . . . what with being a fan of _Single Tear_ and all.

* * *

The security guard escorted the three out of the main arena, along several corridors and a couple flights of stairs to a fire exit.

"Why are we going out the backdoor?" asked Ethan suspiciously, as he stared at the glowing red EXIT letters.

"They're waiting in their limousine" replied the guard.

"Man, this is unbelievably awesome!" said Rory, who again jumped up and down. "We're going to see their limo!"

"Imagine if this was a group I actually liked!" thought Ethan, but instead of saying it aloud put on strained grin.

The back exit led to a paved alley in the shadow of the elevated Gardiner Expressway. No limo in sight, just the noise from the cars overhead zooming at a rate of sixty miles per hour or one hundred kilometres, whatever one preferred.

Ethan and Benny were instantly surprised, but Rory, who had terrible night vision, took a moment to look about him.

"Dude!" complained Rory. "This is the wrong exit! Their limo isn't here! It must be around front, or parked underground. You've got to hurry . . . Single Tear won't wait long . . . .

"You won't have to wait" said a dry voice from somewhere above.

* * *

The next thing Ethan knew was that he was pulled up into the air in an iron grip. It was the simplest of the vampires tricks for grabbing their prey. Swooping down like a hawk . . . .

It was how the neighbour boy was murdered almost two years before, as he was not so innocently taking slap-shots against the Morgan garage. It was what frightened Jane the night before Ethan, Benny and Rory started high school. What led to Ethan's parents inflicting upon him the humiliation of a babysitter . . . .

Ethan didn't feel much humiliation now, in spite of falling directly into a trap. Ethan instead had a horrible foreboding, not to mention that feeling of nausea one gets in a high speed elevator.

When Ethan recovered, there he was, one thousand feet above Downtown Toronto . . . Harlow holding him effortlessly by his neck. There was Benny, tied up by Colby and being bounced like a yoyo. Upside-down was Rory, catch of the day for Gus the Gourmet.

"No, that security guard is not one of us" explained Harlow, though Ethan hadn't been able to ask the question. "Simply glamoured. I've drank something today far more appetizing. Of course, it takes some preparation to fool a seer . . . even if he be merely a boy. If you had been more attentive you'd have realized I instructed the guard to keep his distance from you so you would not be pickup on his trance. Incidentally, I'm indebted to Colby for ensuring my subject used up-to-date-vocabulary. I would have used "luxury motor car" instead of limousine."

"I was more careful than I usually am" Colby explained, as he pulled Benny up and down. "I almost told Harlow to have that palooka of guard call _Single Tear_ a band."

"N-n-n-not a band. A g-g-group" stuttered Rory, his upside-down face beet red from the blood rushing into it.

"I'm sure you'd be interested in how we evaded your simplistic trap" said Harlow, loudly enough for all three of the physically-suspended members of Team Sabre to hear. "You see, I remembered at that last minute Ethan having a vision at the beach. At first, I dismissed it as a merely incidental thing, regarding Colby. The fact Colby was key to our little robbery occurred to me when we visited the bank. Therefore I stayed out of the vault tonight. Although the vault was magically sealed, it was sealed only from the inside. Somewhat clever. Of course, I broke the vault door and released my confederates. A little difficult to do by one's self, but impaling the lock with a metal pole does wonders."

"It would have been a keen heist" said Colby irritably. "It's too bad you fellas ruined it. We didn't get a single cent before the bulls arrived and we had to leave."

"We are interested in immortals remaining incognito" Harlow said to Ethan, giving Ethan a fanged grin a few inches from Ethan's face. "Oh yes . . . we did find your portable telephone device. So you wanted to expose vampires? Well, this is the end, Morgan, Ethan Morgan."

"Harlow found you through the simplest of means" observed Gus, dutifully. "Greasy and unappetizing subjects you may be. Harlow knew you were in the city on personal business. I remembered that the once-promising Erica assured me she loved a band by the name of _Single Tear_. Erica said was a shame that there was a geek in school who like them too; so much so that she was ashamed to wear her single-tear clothes. Now, I didn't know which geek she meant, and neither did Harlow, but we knew they may be playing in Toronto and that you three were here. From there it was a quick look in the newspapers for the concert times and location."

"And no trouble to arrange a glamoured guard and your doom" finished Harlow.

It briefly occurred to Benny (tied up and bounced around as he was) and Ethan (although Harlow was now tightening his choke-hold) to blame Rory. It even occurred to Rory to blame Rory! But Benny and Ethan realized that Rory couldn't have guessed what was planned."

"Not . . . your fault, Rory" Ethan said, as he didn't want his friend to die feeling guilty.

Benny also managed to nod his agreement.

"T-t-t-thanks" said Rory, as Gus briefly pulled Rory up to glare yellow-eyed into his upside-down face.

It didn't really matter who was responsible for letting them fall into the hands of their enemies, it was enough that the end seemed near. Ethan hadn't expected that this was the way he was going to die. Held in a virtual choke hold by an angry vampire, and suspended nearly 1000 feet over Toronto's Gardiner Expressway. The tallest skyscrapers of Canada's largest city and Ontario's capital lay just below Ethan to the north. That is, except for the CN Tower, which still stabbed into the murky summer sky hundreds of feet into the sky above his head. Far, far, below Ethan the cars streaked along the elevated highway like so many illuminated ants.

As Harlow tried to prompt a vision of the future from his captive, Ethan's memories of his "vacation" again passed through his own glowing-white eyes in a dizzying flurry. Was this really the end of Ethan Morgan? Or would good again prevail over the forces of evil? Would this be the last night of Ethan's life . . . or just merely one of the most memorable . . . and terrifying?


	20. The Escape of the Jedi

**THE ESCAPE OF THE JEDI**

Ethan, shaken to the point of discombobulation, had the dubious pleasure of his eyes coming back into focus onto his bloodsucker captor's enraged face. And bewildered as Ethan may of been, something now struck him about his prior encounters with vampire leadership.

As Benny has said of Jesse a few weeks before, "the guy's head was as fat as a blimp." Jesse, drunk on conceit and power, made the fatal mistakes that destroyed him . . . destroyed him two times over. He couldn't, and wouldn't, understand that good was more powerful than evil . . . repeatedly overestimating his ability to manipulate good people into embracing bloodsucking murderousness.

Anastasia was wiser and more prudent, but what kind of a fathead sits in a darkened room passing death sentences left and right? In the end, even Anastasia overestimated her knowledge and power; she made the fatal mistake of returning to Whitechapel after the Lucifractor exploded. The evil un-dead girl had ben slowly drained of dark energy without her realizing it; being returned to humanity but centuries too old to survive as a mortal woman.

And here was vain Harlow, who loved to set up elaborate death traps! _Vampires could be a lot like Bond villains_. But what did James Bond do with elaborate death traps? Get out of them, or talk his way out of them . . . .

Harlow had first wanted to stake the three (or impale them, as Ethan and his pals were human!). This big drop had to be _at least_ only his second choice! Ethan, even now, had one or two cards to play. The first card was Ethan using his expanded seer powers to go into Harlow's mind. However, this wouldn't do much for Benny and Rory, and might just lead to Ethan's immediate drop a thousand feet below. So not yet, at least.

But Gus's empty threat to turn Rory into a vampire . . . so he'd burn up when he died and leave no body . . . that gave Ethan the idea he needed! It was a weird idea, and a _little_ creepy, but it was an idea.

* * *

"Shall I shake you again, Morgan, Ethan Morgan?" asked Harlow, momentarily easing his grip on Ethan's neck. "Or should I just drop you now, and get it over with? Like this telephone of yours?"

Harlow used his free hand to retrieve the cell phone Benny had planted in the bank vault from a jacket pocket. Ethan couldn't help but count the seconds as the flip-phone reached terminal velocity and disappeared from sight . . . ONE . . . TWO . . . THREE . . . FOUR . . . FIVE . . . SIX . . . SEVEN . . . EIGHT . . . NINE . . . TEN . . . .

Far below, the driver of a Ford F-150 pickup truck was surprised by a terrific BANGs as the phone hit the bed of his truck and burst into pieces, the remains ricocheting and shattering his back window. He braked hard, leading the cars behind him to brake all the way back to Highway 427.

But Ethan didn't know this, and Benny was too nauseated and Rory's night vision was too poor to even see whereabouts the phone fell.

"We might splat on the pavement, but we'll die far better than you bloodsuckers" gasped Ethan, desperately faking a courage he really didn't have.

Benny looked incredulously as Ethan, which was difficult as he was almost green in the face. Rory simply looked puzzled.

"And why would you say such an idiot thing?" sneered Harlow.

"They might have to go to our dental records, but we'll have bodies like any human being" bragged Ethan, and boy, did it ever take effort to brag about having a corpse! "It'll be tough on our parents and our families, but we'll be given funerals and put into coffins and everything. We'll be buried in a cemetery and have gravestones marking our resting places."

Benny's incredulity now exceeded his nausea. _What a crazy, stupid thing to brag about!_

"The gravestones of those who died when I was young have mostly faded and broken over the centuries" scoffed Harlow. "And here am I still."

"Burning up the moment you do die, or whatever bloodsuckers do when they go from un-dead to dead" said Ethan, who had worked himself up to believing his own words. It was _something_ not to supernaturally spontaneously-combust!

"T-t-t-that's right, Ethan" said Rory fearfully. "I-I don't want to die, but it's b-better to die that way. Even-even if we go splat."

After all, it was _something_ not to die as an un-dead monster.

"At least everyone will know what happened to me" said Benny, who was as perplexed as ever by Ethan's bragging about leaving a badly-splatted corpse. "How I died an awesome spell-master fighting the vamps."

Colby used his rope to gave Benny several angry jolts in retaliation.

"Well, I shan't die for many a century, if ever" Harlow retorted. "That is more than I could say for you three. However, you shall NOT even have the consolation of separate burials."

 _How could they mock his plans for vengeance!_ These three timid fools! Oh, many went honourably and with dignity to their deaths. They walked up to Madame Guillotine without flinching. Or to the gallows, where so many stood steady as the hangman lowered his noose! But to mock Harlow's carefully considered scheme! To go laughing to their graves! He, Harlow would have to remember that for centuries to come . . . and it would grate in his mind that his insult did not go properly avenged!

"Colby, tie the three together" said Harlow, after a moment's quick thought and a fanged grin at Ethan. "They will fall together, and no one will be able to separate their remains. Dental records or no."

With a penetrating glare at Ethan, Harlow added, "We won't be giving the boy much opportunity to stall for time either."

That, of course, was what Ethan had been hoping for. But, quick as the lightning which was now flickering far off in the distance, Ethan changed his plan. He hadn't expected this result exactly, _but it would work_! Well . . . maybe . . . .

"You're the calculus guy" Ethan told Benny as they were being tied-up midair with Rory, "How long does it take to reach terminal velocity? And fall about a thousand feet?"

"D-d-dude, can't you leave it?" said Rory, who was putting his scattered-brain mentality together to do whatever it is you do when your about to die. Have your life pass before your eyes? And, of course, to say your prayers, wasn't it?

"I'm with Rory" said Benny irritably. "I don't need a splat countdown. Or a splat-down. We're moments away from being killed!"

"But I want to know how long it will take to go down" Ethan complained. "I mean if nothing holds us up."

Benny realized what Ethan was getting at (although Rory didn't, and neither Benny nor Ethan could tell him without alerting Harlow and the other bloodsuckers). Could Benny do it? Well, he, Benny, would soon find out or . . . SPLAT.

"Who gets to drop the milquetoasts?" asked Colby, as he rolled his eyes. "I was looking forward to placing the junior warlock here into the big sleep . . . after the worms he put in my ears a couple days ago."

"I will do it" said Harlow authoritatively. "In honour of Anastasia and the Vampire Council of Whitechapel."

"Don't we get time to say goodbye?" started Ethan.

"No" said Harlow. "You've had more than enough time already. Nevertheless . . . Goodbye."

And with a victorious smile on his fanged mouth, Harlow let the three drop.

* * *

For the first two moments, Benny was too taken aback from the plunge to say a thing. He wanted to yell in terror . . . and that, in fact, was what Rory and even Ethan were doing. But Benny couldn't allow himself that . . . or it would be the last time he'd be yelling in terror, ever.

Benny finally found his voice in the third second. With all the concentration he could summon while falling from a thousand feet, Benny used his floating spell " _Benny, Ethan, Rory floatum nummow_." This took about four more seconds.

The three had descended six-hundred feet in this time, and were at terminal velocity. That is, falling at about 120 miles per hour. And slowly their speed decreased. But there was only five seconds before that big SPLAT on the elevated Gardiner Expressway! Was the floating spell enough to stall them in time? Could they . . . magically . . . stop safely in time? After all, a human being couldn't stop on a dime falling at 120 miles per hour in midair . . . and live.

But magic played havoc with the ordinary physical laws. _Whole_ different geek universe, as Benny would have said given the chance.

FOUR . . . THREE . . . TWO . . . .

They were weightless now, and "only" falling at about 50 miles per hour. But were they slowing too late? Even though they were being magically braked?

Here they were at the Gardiner. Ethan thought Benny's spell had failed, and they were dead. _Benny_ thought Benny's spell had failed and they were dead.

Rory, who had shamelessly screamed like a girl on two previous supernatural occasions (when coming face-to-snout with Werewolf Ethan and when fighting an Abominable Snowman), decided to use all his concentration making sure he died yelling in terror like a man. Rory had, after all, already mentally said his dying prayer and seen his life pass through his eyes.

And now the three were a measly twenty-five feet above the Gardiner.

* * *

And here came a truck . . . a double transport-trailer. A few feet away from hitting them, not that they'd notice given how close they were to the pavement. But the gust of wind from the truck, just below, was enough to send the three boys, tied together, drifting sideways into the air, and up.

Now they were slowly drifting. First Benny, then Rory, then finally Ethan took their surroundings at they lazily floated off to the south side of the highway.

"We're alive!" said Ethan

"High fives!" said Rory, lifting his right arm.

The vampires hadn't bothered to tie their arms, being held and dropped from a thousand feet had seemed like precaution enough.

"No, Rory, you're rocking the boat" Ethan warned.

Sure enough, Benny's inexpert magic let them overturn and the three started drifting upwards, upside-down. Benny, made sick by all of Colby's shaking and the enormous fall, outright barfed onto the road some fifty-feet beneath them.

Benny thought, all in all, it was lucky they were upside-down.

The wind was picking up, so the three started to move more quickly.

"This is awesome" Rory observed. "Flying in the open air without being un-dead. But I still think piloting an actual air-plane is cooler."

"Rory, we just only barely survived skydiving without a parachute" Ethan said.

The boys finally landed safely, albeit in a heap, on the balcony of a lakeshore condominium. Unfortunately, it turned out that the three vamps were good with knots; so it was some struggle to get out of the rope.

The three groaned as they picked themselves up.

"It's lucky Harlow's such a fathead he took us a thousand feet up" said Benny, looking up into the now overcast sky. The heat-wave was being blown away by a cold front. "Talk about _overkill_ dudes. Only a hundred feet and we would have been _so splatted_ , and no time for my cool magic to save us.'

"Well, we're safe now" said Ethan, stretching.

"You're not safe. You don't think we'd just relax in midair, and leave you without watching that fine splat? You're more durable than Harlow would believe. Well, at least now I won't have to worry about your blood being splattered uselessly on the pavement. And you're trapped . . . again."

It was Gus. Gus, Colby and Harlow knew that three falling bodies would have caused instant chaos on the Gardiner Expressway. So Gus had gone down and see what had happened when the traffic jam failed to materialize.

And here came Colby and Harlow. _The dead travelled fast_!

Ethan, Rory and Benny pulled out their light sabres. That would protect them. Well, it would have protected them, if they weren't stuck on a balcony and practically pinned to the sliding door that led into a condominium!

Gus, for his part, smirked hungrily as he hovered in midair just off the balcony. He was eyeing Ethan. That fact was lost on Benny and Rory . . . but not on Ethan.

"Quick, we've got to break in" said Ethan, looking towards the sliding glass door.

He kicked it. Ethan cracked it but didn't break the glass. It was as hard as that of a reinforced car window. And no wonder! They were several stories up and it could get windy in the winter!

" _Ethan?_ " suggested Rory.

"Benny, do you have a spell?" said Ethan.

"Lightning?" said Benny.

"Are you crazy!" said Ethan. "You'll electrocute us!"

"Guys?" suggested Rory again.

"What!" said Ethan and Benny.

Rory opened the door. It wasn't locked. The three jumped inside, almost too late to dodge the now enraged Gus who tried and failed to rush them before they went in.

* * *

Gus hit what seemed like a invisible force-field as he the doorway with a revolting sizzling. Gus was forced back by the collision, he bounced over the balcony and toppled clumsily over the protective balustrade.

That was what happened to vampires who tried to force their way into a home without being invited. But Ethan was thinking of a run-of-the-mill scientific law, for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.

"Newton's Third Law of Motion" said Ethan, as he, Benny and Rory rushed to a nearby window to look down and watch as the angry vamp try to halt his seven-story fall.

"Watch him guys" said Rory. "He's going to land on that concrete, under the lamppost. He's not going to _splat_ like us, he's going to land like . . . .

Gus fell onto the condominium's concrete loading zone, leaving a deep indentation in the pavement the very size of his body.

"Wile. E. Coyote" said Ethan, Benny and Rory together.

"Dude, how did you know that?" asked Benny. "You never actually . . . ."

"Nuh-uh" said Rory. "I usually crashed into soft stuff at low speed, like a lawn or some thorn bushes. Well, there was the time I knocked over your satellite dish . . . ."

"And made us miss _Jacuzzi Time Machine"_ said Benny, who, turning on a light switch, now turned around to look at the condominium for the first time and groaned. "Talking about time machine . . . we've landed in hippy-land."

Ethan looked around. They were in a combined living and dining room, with a kitchen on the other side of a counter and several psychedelic bar stools. Ethan stated at the multi-coloured walls, the weird modern art, and the wacky and uncomfortable-looking furniture, painted peace signs and bizarre bric-a-brac. Well, at least they had a big t.v. Sixty-inches. And that one painting would make a great T-shirt! But, yeah, what a weird place!

"This must be what Mr. G's house looks like" Ethan joked.

"Mr. G's cool" Rory protested.

"I don't have anything against him" Ethan said.

"He's just into that lame hippy stuff" said Benny.

"You had better stop whining about apartment decorations" interjected Harlow, "and worry about your future or your lack thereof"

Harlow and Colby had slowed in midair and landed carefully onto the balcony. Harlow was furious at again being tricked by three teenaged boys . . . and having so sure of himself he failed to quickly investigate if the three had splatted.

Harlow was now bright red in the face.

"I can see why Little Miss Fang-Fang ran the council herself" laughed Benny, now that he was safely inside. "Her yes-men were too stupid. And, Harlow, can you have the blood rush to your head like that? I mean, bloodsucker's are always looking for blood as it is."

Benny shared a high-five with Ethan and Rory.

As for Harlow, in his rage, he could barely prevent himself from rushing the open doorway.

"It's cool to go inside a house without being invited" said Rory. "I don't see what I ever saw in . . . ."

"You don't come into our home without being invited" said a bearded man with his hair tied in a bun.

* * *

The bearded man was relatively young, wore a khaki robe and had an old-school letter opener as a weapon. He was with his wife, a young but rail-thin woman in pink housecoat and carrying a baseball bat.

"We're not burglars" volunteered Rory. "We just came inside to get away from the vampires. You see, we were flying through the air and landed on your balcony just ahead of them."

Benny and Ethan groaned. _Did Rory expect the two to believe that?_

As for Colby, he gave an ironic bow in response. Harlow, still furious, kicked Colby in the shin. The bloodsucker with the teenage appearance started hopping on one foot, and leant against the railing.

It was then that Colby looked down to the street below in surprise . . . .

"Seriously, that's what we're doing" added Benny. "Those guys on your balcony, they're vampires. Don't invite them in."

"You expect us to believe that? Do I look like an idiot?" said the man.

" _Well, dude, since you asked_ . . . ." started Benny.

"Benny, just do some magic" said Ethan. "He's got to believe . . . ."

Ethan was interrupted by a scream. At first, he thought it was the woman in the pink housecoat. It turned out it was the bearded man, who had (shamelessly) screamed like a girl and fainted away.

"What the heck made him do that?" asked Rory _._

"Gus the Gourmet just flew in" said Benny, looking to the balcony, where Harlow was giving a dusty Gus an update. "I guess he's a lot like Wile E. Coyote . . . he gets over falling off a cliff _really quickly_."

"T-they are vampires" said the woman in the pink housecoat, who had dropped her bat and was now trying to revive her hipster husband. "But how do I know they're not in the right and you three are criminals?"

" _They're the vampires_!" blurted Benny.

"There hasn't been any good vampires around since me, Sarah and Erica were cured" said Rory helpfully.

Actually, _very unhelpfully_. But Rory thought he was being helpful.

"You're right" said Harlow, with a careful, non-fanged smile. "You see, these boys are really werewolves . . . ."

"No _fracking_ way are we werewolves" said Ethan, who was a bit sensitive to such an accusation.

"They're werewolves" said Harlow. "And you see, it's a vampire tradition to keep werewolves in line."

"No, vamps and wolves are just mortal enemies" said Ethan, who too late, realized that if anything he said would make him sound like a werewolf . . . short of howling . . . _that was it_.

"As werewolves are what you'd consider cannibals, they like to invade people's apartments and, well, turn themselves into wolves and dine in" said Harlow. "It's very sad. Just invite us in and we'll take care of it."

"Dude, it's not even a full moon" said Benny. "This isn't a _Dusk_ novel. Werewolves don't just turn themselves into wolves whenever they feel like it."

"This is 140 Platinum Towers, isn't it? 7th floor!" interrupted Colby, still looking down from the edge of the balcony. "I didn't recognize the building from up here, or even from the north side, but I've really gone blooey not to notice haven't I?"

"It's 140 Platinum Towers" said the woman. "Apartment 714"

" _That_ 140 Platinum Towers" asked Harlow.

"Really?" seconded Gus, laughing.

"The one and the same" said Colby triumphantly.

 _For once, the lucky coincidences were in Harlow's favour! Or so he thought._

"Don't just stand there you idiot" ordered Harlow.

With that Colby vanished off into the night.

"What do you think the bloodsucker's doing?" asked Benny.

"I don't know" said Ethan. "But it sounds bad. What are we going to do? We can't really stay here with these people, they might call the police. And we can't really leave, not safely anyways? I mean with our light sabres and some garlic we can . . . ."

"DUCK!" Benny and Rory warned.

Ethan ducked, just in time to dodge the letter opener thrown at him. It landed harmlessly, clattering on a blue coffee table.

The bearded man had revived, and thrown his letter opener.

From out on the balcony, Harlow and Gus laughed.

"That proves you're a werewolf" said the man. "That's genuine silver, and you were afraid to touch it."

"Dude, he was afraid to have his eyes stabbed out with it!" Benny retorted.

"See!" Ethan replied, picking up the letter opener by the blade. "I, uh, understand that this is very weird and very awkward, but . . . ."

Ethan was interrupted as the door to the condominium burst open with a screech of wrenching metal. With great force, the deadbolt and the doorknob lock were broken open as if they were made of paper.

"Surprise milquetoasts!" said Colby.

* * *

"You can't come in here!" said Benny. "Nobody invited you!"

"I own a condominium in this building, you three mugs" said Colby. "Number 1902, just below the penthouse. You see, when you don't age, you can't just flop out of the same house decade in and out. So, I always keep a second place. As a bonus, it means I can go anywhere in the building, well so long as I go through my balcony, underground parking garage or the front door first."

Ethan and Benny again drew their light sabres, horrified by this turn of events.

But as for Rory, he was outraged!

" _Nuh-uh_ " insisted Rory. "When I was un-dead I couldn't even get into my own house without an invitation! And I had a key and everything! I had to keep getting invited in by my Mom and Dad! Or else the invitation would wear off, and I'd burn my hand trying to open the doorknob! _Even if I had just unlocked it with my own key_."

" _Harsh_!" said Benny, who hadn't heard this before, as Rory considered it a terrible humiliation.

"And you _still_ thought it was _cool_ to be a bloodsucker?" questioned Ethan, who also hadn't know about Rory's trouble getting into his own house.

"Well, it was the flying and the super-speed and what Jesse told me at that party" Rory said meekly.

"You're a strange bird Rory, soon to be a dead one" said Colby laconically, "but I'll level with you. The trick is legal ownership. You own the building, you can get in it! It's screwy, but it works."

"You don't own this condo" said Ethan.

"With condos, you share ownership in the building" Colby explained.

"Remind me never to buy a condo" said Benny sarcastically. "It's too easy for the un-dead to get in."

" _I_ can get in but I need to invite in Harlow and Gus" Colby smirked, as he made his way to the balcony. "You see Harlow can't even glamour someone into opening the door. They have to be let in of someone's own free will."

"Be they the quick or the dead" Harlow observed triumphantly.

"Your friend's not letting anyone in" said the bearded man, standing in Colby's way.

* * *

Colby threw the bearded man into the sixty-inch television set, cracking all the television's panels. Ethan, Benny and Rory winced . . . not only from the cruel throw, but also at the wreck of an expensive tv set.

For his part, the bearded man groaned, but from his bruises and not the destruction of his tv. His wife was soon by his side.

Ethan realized that the situation would become extremely dangerous if Harlow and Gus entered the building. Ethan and his friends would be trapped like rats . . . for the third time that night.

Colby's mention of having poor "fang control" came to Ethan's mind. The tall teenage vampire had trouble controlling himself. The smell of particularly good blood and . . . and Ethan was still holding the silver letter opener.

Ethan cut himself.

* * *

Colby had been taking his final steps toward the glass sliding door, in the sort of proud saunter he used to use when he was properly alive. Colby had effortlessly dodged Benny and Rory's attempts to block him with their light-sabres in the middle of the room . . . simply speeding past them and tripping them.

But now the most delicious smell assailed his nostrils. In an instant, his fangs shot out and his eyes glowed their demonic yellow. Colby couldn't even make it to the door, he turned with hunger written over his inhuman leer.

More screaming from the bearded man and the woman in the pink housecoat as they saw the vampire's face.

"Colby, control yourself" ordered Harlow, albeit half-heartedly as he realized it wasn't much good.

As Harlow had repeatedly told Colby, as an immortal he was more suited to being one of the council's bloodthirsty enforcers. Colby wasn't as smart as he believed, and his self-command was terrible.

As for Gus, he was again sniffing the air like a dog.

"Such blood" he said, in admiration.

Gus forgot himself, tried to open the sliding door, and burnt his hands.

Colby had again used vampire super speed. This time to corner Ethan. Colby, reduced to little more than a feral animal by the smell of Ethan's blood, had Ethan pinned in a choke-hold.

Benny and Rory, however, were coming to the rescue. From the back, Benny stabbed Colby in the left-side of the chest.

Nothing! Well, nothing but a yelp of pain from Colby, who released Ethan.

"You missed!" said Ethan, as Benny and Rory backed up.

"I was dead on!" insisted Benny, who was now waving his sword trying to .

"Dextrocardia" muttered Colby woozily, as he was trying to shake sense back into his head, though he couldn't shake the yellow out of his eyes even if he was so inclined.

"He was born with his heart on the right side of his body instead of his left" Ethan explained.

" _Really_ useful for a bloodsucker" Benny complained.

Rory tried stabbing Colby's right side.

And before Rory's eyes, Colby burnt up. There was nothing was left of Colby Victor Flood but a pile of dust. A pile of dust, a wristwatch, a wallet, a key-chain and a smart-phone that all seemed to fall out of midair.

Harlow and Gus flew away. There was no more they could do, least-ways for the moment, so Harlow and Gus flew away.

But only so far as the building's main entrance, seven stories below.


	21. On the Attack

**On the Attack**

The first thing Ethan, Benny and Rory did was cross light sabres, _Three Musketeers_ style.

"Benny, the Awesome Spellmaster . . . the Ethanator . . . and the Rorster are again victorious" proclaimed Benny, albeit a bit unsteadily as he looked about at the damage.

The three friends observed the broken tv, cracked glass sliding door to the balcony, and the condo door to the hallway wildly hanging on its hinges. Not to mention the bearded man and his wife, who had fainted when Colby spontaneously-combusted before their very eyes.

"Colby sure trashed the place" Benny pointed out. "But, how are you doing, Ethan? That vamp was _really_ close to biting you?"

"I'm okay" said Ethan. "Remember, the first thing that happens when a vampire bites is you start writhing . . . or faint outright, I guess, if they take enough blood. Well, I guess I should get a bandage for this cut . . . uh, how are you Rory?"

"Dude, I've seen vampires bite the dust before" Rory objected, "it's . . . just a little weird, that's all."

"You said it" said Ethan, looking at the pile of dust and Colby's personal effects.

* * *

Ethan went to condo's washroom to get a bandage. When he returned he found the door to the unit again closed and Benny and Rory relaxing on a pair of funny-looking chairs, shaped like human hands. Benny and Rory had, with some difficulty, even returned the broken television set to its stand.

"It's no good, Ethan. Really gnarly. Sixty inches! But the panels are broken! Hope these people have a warranty! My mom and dad _always_ pay extra for a warranty!"

"I knocked those two out with that spell I had" said Benny, referring to the man and the woman, who Benny had floating restfully onto a sofa. "Not your mom and dad, Rory. _Them_. They'll be really happy to get some sleep after all this."

"They'll be happier to forget all about us and the vamps" Ethan observed. "Why don't you use your memory spell?"

"I can't remember it" Benny explained. "I left my spell book at home, remember?"

"Too bad about the damage. It's not like the ice cream parlour and the yeti" said Ethan, as he looked at Colby's personal effects. "I can't just suggest my dad come over and do their insurance . . . he's his company's expert at adjusting weird cases."

"Well, living here, they must just be rich" said Benny. "To them, getting a new sixty inch tv must be like us ordering a pizza."

"Colby's wallet is right there" suggested Rory. "We can leave them his money."

"We're not ghouls" Ethan objected.

" _Who are you calling ghouls!_ " laughed Benny, who was surprised by the comment. "That's the craziest thing you've ever said, buddy! You know what a ghoul is! It's a _seriously_ evil spirit, a sort of a cross between a skeleton, a zombie and a ghost."

"You're an idiot" Ethan snapped. "I mean a graverobber, that's also called a ghoul."

"Yeah, it is" said Rory.

"Next time just say graverobber" Benny retorted. "But, dude, Colby _murdered_ over 9000 people and he was un-dead for _years_ already. Not to mention he was about to kill you, and just left off trying to rob a bank tonight! Plus _he's_ the guy who trashed this condo!"

"Good point" said Ethan. "It's not as if we're really stealing from a innocent person."

The three pals gathered around the small pile of dust, and hesitated. It was one thing to destroy a vampire, another thing to go picking about his remains.

"Rock, paper, scissors?" suggested Benny.

"Definitely" said Ethan.

It was just too bad that Ethan lost.

* * *

Tentatively, Ethan picked up the wallet and shook off Colby's immortal remains. So far, so good, nothing weird(er) happened! Ethan was surprised to find about five hundred dollars cash (who carries around that much money!) and a few credit cards from foreign banks.

"That'll replace the tv" said Rory, as he gingerly put the money on the coffee table.

"I guess the guy didn't have any ID" laughed Benny.

"He did" said Ethan. "A really old school one."

Ethan passed Benny a 1929 _Province of Ontario Driver's License_ , with all the vital statistics on Colby Flood (date of birth, 1910) handwritten on a yellowed card.

"I bet he didn't even have to take a test way back then" Benny complained as he passed it to Rory.

"He also has the old school health card" smirked Ethan, with a glance at a red and white card.

Benny burst out laughing.

"What does a bloodsucker need with a health card?" said Benny.

"He probably had it from before" guessed Rory. "I still have the same one I had before and during. Lucky I never had to change my ID."

"Well that's why he had his health card, for ID!" said Ethan. "I bet Colby even had a passport, somewhere. Just so he doesn't have to run or fly super-speed past customs and border security every time."

"But where'd he get the picture for the passport" asked Rory. "I mean, if he has one?"

"They had cameras in the twenties" Ethan shrugged. "The creep must have had a few pictures lying around, like you and . . . ."

"Sarah" interrupted Benny, gleefully.

"He can't have become a vamp before . . . or very long after" Ethan finished.

* * *

Colby didn't have a _Rolex_ , as Benny had first guessed. But his wristwatch was expensive, gold plated, and more than enough to pay for the rest of the hippies damages . . . or so Ethan believed.

Colby had the good sense to lock his smart-phone, and even if Ethan _could_ break the encryption it would take hours . . . and the use of Ethan's laptop.

Then there were the keys. The moment Ethan picked them up, his eyeballs started to gleam and his pupils dilated.

* * *

First up in Ethan's vision was a grim three-storey mansion on a leafy street. The scene was lit up by a bolt of lightning. Flood, said the mailbox in front. The vision passed before Ethan could get the address or even a good idea of where the place was.

The next vision was the condominium building, but downstairs at the building's main entrance. There were Harlow and Gus, waiting in a rainstorm while lightning flashed overhead and thunder boomed. It was your typical . . . your stereotypical . . . dark and stormy night.

But what were Harlow and Gus waiting for? Someone to let them in. Sure enough, at about one o'clock in the morning, a man, unsteady on his feet, would go into the building. He'd hold the door open for the bloodsuckers. Inside, there was a small glass-enclosed lobby, similar to that at the _Bank of Hamilton_. To keep out ordinary criminals, the condominium had a locked inner door residents opened with their key. The building also maintained a buzzer system for visitors to contact individual units and have the residents let them in.

But this wouldn't matter for the vamps. They were inside the building, free to smash through the inner glass wall and go wherever they pleased. And what they pleased was . . . .

* * *

Ethan awoke sitting on one of the weird hand-shaped armchairs.

"Gus and Harlow are going to get in, just about an hour from now" Ethan spluttered. "Some idiot is just going to let them in! Harlow even expects an idiot to let him in, sooner-or-later! Right now he and Gus are waiting near the front entrance."

"For an idiot to let them in" said Benny laconically

"They'll never find us in this building" Rory said. "We just change condos or hide in the maintenance rooms or something . . . and wait to counter-attack with our Jedi light-sabres."

Rory jumped up and tried a couple of counter-jabs.

"They'll go through the building condo by condo" Ethan returned. " _And they won't be taking prisoners along the way_. They'll either find us or get us to surrender."

"We're not stupid enough to surrender" said Benny defiantly.

"No way!" said Rory.

There was a pause.

" _Yeah, we probably are that stupid_ " groaned Benny.

On second thought Benny couldn't stand by and hear the screams as Little Miss Fang-Fang's yes-man killed who-knew-how-many innocent people on his manhunt!

"I guess so" Rory also admitted.

Whitechapels' infamous missing person list seemed to appeared before his eyes. Almost everybody on it dead from bloodsucker attacks! And now a whole Toronto highrise? Drained?!

"Well, we'll die fighting, but they'd be ready for us" said Ethan. "But . . . there's a way out . . . we get out!"

"Dude, they'll just attack us on the outside!" scoffed Benny. "Maybe they'll even try to splat us again."

"No! We're going to lure them from this building, race them to Colby's house, and . . . again . . . block them from vampire cash and heritage and everything they need to setup their bloodsucker's council."

"How are we going to race the vamps?" asked Benny, incredulously. "Call a taxi? Uber? Run _really_ fast?"

"Use Colby's _Cadillac DTS_ " said Ethan, holding up the buttons to open that car. After a brief gleam of light from his eyes, he added, "It's license plate number 232 COL, and it's sitting in the lowest-level of the parking garage."

" _Awesome!_ " said Benny. "Well, awesome if . . . with the caddy and my magic . . . we can stay ahead of Gus and Harlow.

"But dude" Rory cried out. "How do we lock them out of their new Vampire HQ? I mean, Jesse could always get into his mansion . . . I guess. And the vampires could always get in and out of the old Whitechapel Vampire HQ!"

"Rory," said Ethan, excited, "remember what Colby told you about _why_ he could get in this condo building whenever he wanted too!"

"Some boring legal stuff" said Rory bitterly. "It's . . . it's fracking unfair! I lived in my house all my life, including the part of my life when I was un-dead! And I have to remember to keep getting Mom and Dad's say so and invite, because if my invitation wore off I'd burn myself . . . .

"We get it Rory" said Ethan, "it sucked. But what I was meant was . . . "

Benny, however caught on to Ethan's point.

"Dude!" said Benny. "Colby owned his house, legally. He's dead! He doesn't own it anymore . . . someone else does, and it's probably not Harlow or Gus! We don't have to worry about the legal crap . . . just that someone else owns it and Harlow and Gus can't get in!"

"Cool!" said Rory, his eyes lighting up as he understood. "No money, no place to stay, no Toronto Vampire HQ, no evil vampires _anywhere_ nearby."

"But you're thinking _we've_ got to get in first?" Benny asked Ethan. "Just in case?"

"Definitely" said Ethan, who noticed Rory seemed confused and decided to explain. "Our houses our are number one protection from the un-dead. But, no one has actually been living in that house . . . .

"I GET IT!" said Rory. "You need living people in the house to block the bloodsuckers. SO we've got to be the living guys in the house to block the bloodsuckers."

"And when we leave, they still won't be able to get in" said Benny. "Team Sabre took possession. And . . . .not . . . legally . . . their . . . house."

"But first we have to find where the house is" added Ethan. "I have the keys, but in my vision I couldn't find the address.

"Dude, his condo!" said Benny. "Maybe Colby has the info there! Get a vision of the unit number. He mentioned the number, but I don't remember it . . . there was too much fighting going on!"

"I don't need a vision this time" said Ethan, grinning from ear to ear. "Colby's condo key has the unit number right on it . . . number 1902."

* * *

Colby's corner condominium had a great view of the lake, but first the three had to draw the heavy set of curtains hiding the already tinted windows.

This fact perplexed Ethan, who knew that vampires weren't _that_ allergic to sunlight. Rory simply didn't care much; as for Benny, he guessed that the seriously old and evil vampires didn't like any sun, period.

But Colby wasn't that old. Black-and-white photos of him where everywhere on the wall. To the laymen, it would just seem that Colby Victor Flood liked black and white photos. But while Rory couldn't tell the difference, Ethan and Benny realized that the photos were either decades old or copies of decades old photos. Their resolution was poorer than that of a digital camera. Most of the pictures were staged in a old school, formal way at a portrait studio. Not to mention Colby usually had his photograph take wearing a suit, and occasionally even a fedora hat perched lopsidedly on his head.

"He's got to be more recent than we thought" said Rory, pointing to a picture above the fireplace. "This one's colour."

"It can't be" said Ethan, but at first glance he understood Rory's mistake. Ethan grinned.

Benny laughed outright.

"Look closer Rory" Benny said, clapping his hand on Rory's shoulder and pointing at the photograph.

"Colourized" they said together.

"And a real lame job too" said Benny. "The guys' face is pink! I wonder if he drained the guy . . . or girl who butchered it!"

* * *

The rest of the apartment looked like a model bachelor-pad from Benny's favourite magazine, _Be A Man_ (comic books didn't count as magazines). The magazine, subscribed to by Benny's father, was responsible for some Benny's most helpful dating advice . . . .

 _But best of all, there was an eighty-inch 4K smart tv and stereo system. Eighty inches!_

" _Whoa_!" said the three of them in unison.

Benny grabbed the remote and pushed the power button.

"What the heck!" cried Rory.

"The bloodsucker locked it!" said Benny. "We can't watch a thing without the password, and we have no time to break it!"

"Lucky for us" lied Ethan, feeling like the world's worst hypocrite saying it. "I mean, we don't really have the time guys. And who could resist an eighty inch tv set?"

* * *

Ethan tried various keys in an effort to open Colby's large black desk.

"Why don't you find it seer-style?" asked Benny impatiently as he lay down yawning on Colby's couch. "Way cooler!"

"It's also slower and tougher" Ethan explained. "Besides, I go by what your grandmother says."

"Grandma Irene?" asked Benny perplexed.

"No Grandma Evelyn" said Ethan. "You know, let magic be part of your life, but not your whole life."

"Ah yeah" said Benny. "It's good advice, but dude, I figure it doesn't go while you're fighting the vamps! But there's a thing I haven't told you, Ethan. Usually when I'm home in Whitechapel, Grandma means Evelyn. In Toronto Grandma means Irene. It's really, really, really, easier that way, and I don't burn Grandma's curlers by calling her something like my _other_ Grandma."

Benny gave an angry glance towards Rory, who was looking into the refrigerator empty save for a litre (or about a quart) of cream.

"There's nothing here" Rory complained, with a yawn he caught from Benny. "You'd think he'd have chocolate bars or peanut butter or something. It's past midnight, and I've got to have a snack if I don't want to fall asleep."

"Vampires don't eat normal food" said Ethan tiredly, as yawns were very contagious. "I don't even know how, the whole time you were a vamp, you managed to eat lunch in the cafeteria everyday.

"That might be the one real benefit of sucking blood" joked Benny. "Not having to eat the school cafeteria food."

"The cafeteria food is _awesome_ " insisted Rory, as he looked into the mostly empty pantry. "Especially the brand-new garlic Fridays."

"If you don't mind everything and everyone reeking" said Benny.

"We could use some of that garlic now" Ethan muttered.

Benny and Rory looked at each other, and gave one another a thumbs up.

* * *

Ethan didn't notice. He had finally unlocked the desk, and was now busy rifling through Colby Flood's papers. It was _filled_ with files and papers. To Ethan, it seemed that this condo was usually Colby's headquarters. After all, it was both inconspicious and near the lake.

"All the better to get rid of a body" Ethan said to himself glumly.

What Colby usually used his house for, Ethan didn't know, but it appeared that Colby had been forced to relocate to move in with his unwanted "guests."

In the large middle drawer, Ethan found a few black books. Ethan opened one and gave one of his rare whistles of surprise.

Benny, curious, went to see what it was. Benny outright swore when he realized _exactly_ what it was.

"That bloodsucking leech kept track of his victims" Benny muttered to Ethan. "Each line is a new one. Look at this entry. _"Grand opening of Toronto subway, March 30, 1954. Picked up blonde U of T coed for ice cream. Nineteen years old. Heart-shaped locket, but only 10 karat gold."_

"I really hate vampires" muttered Ethan.

"Now that Sarah's no longer un-dead" Benny added mischievously, as he tossed the book down.

Ethan tossed the black books into the nearest garbage can.

Next, Ethan checked right-hand top drawer. As Ethan himself had predicted, Colby did have an up-to-date passport, albeit one with a fake birth date and using Colby's decades old picture on the photo-page (but how did Colby get the passport office to issue that!). There was also a number of credit card, water, cable and hydro bills.

Unfortunately, they were all billed to Colby's condominium.

Ethan, on a hunch, now tried the bottom drawer. Finally, something! Colby had bills for lawn care, roof repairs, water, hydro, cable, and property tax . . . all for a house on 102 Primrose Path. A look at his smart-phone told Ethan the street was in a downtown enclave called Rosedale, where many of the city's moneyed lived.

"And Toronto's richest bloodsucker hung-his-hat" Ethan said ironically. "Because Colby can't really be said to have lived anywhere for years . . . what's that?"

"Coffee" said Rory, holding a bag. "Coffee's about the only food or drink Colby had here, besides tea. I was hoping for chocolate powder so I could make chocolate milk with that cream, but coffee's better for staying-up."

"It's that fancy gourmet kind too" said Benny, taking it from Rory. "Ethan and me took cooking in school last year, remember! I bet we can make coffee!"

"We'll need it if we're going to be up all night" Ethan agreed.

* * *

The three stood around while the coffee peculated. Ethan realized soon there was something weird about the coffee. But what! It had a very sweet and sort-of disgusting smell, so Benny thought. But what was it! It was familiar!

The smell downright nauseated Rory, who made a face. Rory, figuring it was a _really cool face_ , went to the windows to admire his funny-face's reflection. That was fun! One of the really cool things you couldn't do as a bloodsucker! In fact, at home, it was as often as not how he now started his morning . . . by making faces in the mirror!

"That's why he has the curtains" Ethan told Benny, as he watched Rory make faces at his reflection.

"Colby's _not reflecting_ on the window was a serious give-away for his victims" Benny said.

* * *

When the coffee was almost ready, it became apparent what the problem was. The brew, instead of being black, had turned a dull, dark red. The coffee beans had been mixed with blood! This was what Colby had drank when he didn't feel like looking for a victim. Roasted coffee mixed with broiled human blood. The smell of the now-prepared coffee wafted into the three teens' noses. Repulsive to the last drop . . . .

"I'm going to barf" said Ethan.

"I'm going to hurl" said Benny.

"I'm going to blow chunks" said Rory.

The three rushed to the kitchen sink.

Needless to say, they didn't feel like testing the tea.

* * *

On the elevator ride down to the parking garage, Benny considered goading Rory about him . . . of all people . . . being sickened by the smell of boiling blood. But, yeah, Rory was a human being, a fellow Jedi, and a charter member of Team Sabre. Benny didn't . . . or tried not to . . . bug Rory about his having been a vamp.

Ethan too thought about Rory being sickened by the coffee, and actually understood how it came-to-be. Nothing was left of the curse that had been on Rory, so Rory's physical reaction was what it would naturally be . . . puking like Ethan and Benny.

By the time the three teens reached the lowest-level parking garage, the three could hear thunder as both cold front and storm arrived.

" _A dark and stormy night_ " said Benny. "Cool!"

"If we survive it" said Ethan, who was more skeptical about the task ahead. And tired to boot. "Besides, dark and stormy nights aren't cool . . . they're really lame."

"Nuh-uh" said Rory. "If you've got to fight bloodsuckers, a dark and stormy night is the best thing! Besides, you said that haywire vision you had . . . the one takeaway was that none of us would ever be bitten by a vampire and turned into one of them."

"But we could still die" Ethan reminded Rory.

* * *

The three spread out looking for the _Cadillac DTS_ , black, license plate number 232 COL. Naturally, Ethan, who had seen it in his vision, was the one to discover the car.

The _DTS_ was shiny black, with an all leather interior and that highly coveted new-car smell. For a second, Ethan was envious. But what good was it to have a car like that when you had to feed on blood to enjoy it? You were banned from most of the substantial pleasures of life? You had killed over nine-thousand in your cursed existence. And when you were lying in a heap of ash in a hippy's apartment and your soul went who knows where?

Benny looked at the car in admiration, but added, "If I were a rich un-dead bloodsucker, I'd go with a _Lamborghini_ , a _Porche_ or even a _Rolls_. Yeah, a _Rolls Phantom Coupe_."

" _Cadillacs_ are cool enough for the Rorster" said Rory, although no one had disputed this. "I'm gonna drive."

"You don't even have a license" Benny said. "I have over a week's car-driving experience, and I'm practically an expert go-karter."

"That's _bogus_! I have years of virtual racing ability" Rory argued. "And it's just as legal for me to drive as you right now! _G1 driver's can't drive after midnight and they can't drive without a driver with years under their belt._ "

Ethan and Benny were unconvinced that video game race-car driving equalled car driving. Or that no license was at all equal to a G1, as pathetic as the G1 could be.

"Rory, your dad doesn't even let you drive his lawn tractor" said Ethan.

"Well, he says that I can once I get my license" said Rory. "And read the tractor's instruction manual. And promise to be careful when the mower's on. Plus then I'll be able to drive the car on the road . . . well, the old _Kia_ , not the new _Buick_."

"Yeah, Rory" said Ethan sarcastically. "A life or death race against vampires is _really_ the best time to go on the road the first time."

"Okay, I won't drive" said Rory sulkily.

Rory had resolved to be more careful these days. And as Ethan had just reminded him . . . Rory had an awesome life he had no intention of throwing away. So even Rory had to reluctantly admit to himself . . . extremely reluctantly admit to himself . . . the guy without any license _probably_ shouldn't be the one to drive.

"But . . . I call shotgun!"

If he wasn't going to drive, he at least wanted to sit shotgun!

* * *

Choosing between Benny and Ethan was tougher; two duelling considerations had come forward. On one hand, Benny had only been driving a week. On the other, as a driver Ethan was even more timid "than Benny's mom."

It again came down to rock, paper, scissors. This time, Ethan won; but he was forced to promise not to drive "worse than an old lady with arthritis."

Once in the Cadillac, Rory's first instinct was to fool around pushing the Air Conditioning, GPS and _Sirius Satellite Radio_ buttons. Ethan started the ignition, only to stare incredulously at the odometer. As bad as traffic was in Toronto, it was easier for Colby to fly about the city at super-speed.

As for Benny, he suddenly remembered something _critically_ important. Benny jumped up, only narrowly avoiding hitting his head on the car roof.

"Ethan, buddy, remember Malcolm Brunner's possessed car . . . ."

"Grandson of Manafort Brunner" added Rory.

"When they were vamps, Rory, Sarah and Erica brought that vampmobile to a halt just by pressing on the bumper" said Benny. "What do you think serious bloodsuckers like Gus and Harlow can do with this Caddy?"

There was a moment of silence.

"Is there any spell you can use?" asked Ethan.

"Nothing!" said Benny. "I don't have my spell book, remember! I mean, maybe I can use a fireball but . . . ."

"Yeah, you probably won't get it to work" interrupted Rory, as Benny gave him a death-glare in response.

"We also need our light sabres drawn in case they try for the windows" observed Ethan.

"How about garlic on the bumpers?" asked Rory. "The vamps'll burn their hands?"

"Where are we going to get garlic now?" asked Ethan.

"Rory and me have the hippies' garlic powder" said Benny, as he and Rory pulled spice bottles out of their pockets. "While you were getting the bandages."

"You were going to eat the powder?" asked Ethan, incredulously.

"Dude, we're fighting vampires" said Benny. "It helps to be prepared."

* * *

Benny and Rory shook the garlic powder all over the bumpers. It wouldn't last long in the now pouring rain, but it was something.

Something, as Ethan started the car and drove carefully out of the space in the fourth sub-basement garage. Ethan carefully circled around to the third sub-basement, the second sub-basement, the first sub-basement, the basement and finally came up to the main garage door.

"Okay, Ethan" said Benny. "You've got to floor it, buddy!"

"Except if there's a non-un-dead pedestrian" Rory said.

"I hope not, they'd be perfect prey for Gus and Harlow" Ethan observed, as the garage door slowly opened.

At first glance, there was nothing but the heavy rain and a bright flash of lightning. But then, in an instant Gus appeared on the ramp in front of them . . . none the worse for the storm and his recent fall.

"HARLOW" the three geeks watched, rather than heard him say.

Benny and Rory drew their light-sabres, while Ethan put on the wipers and pushed the pedal to the floor.

The three desperately hoped the 4.6 Litre V8 engine . . . and a couple bottles of garlic powder . . . equalled enough horsepower to ensure their escape.


	22. The Dark and Stormy Drive

**The Dark and Stormy Drive**

Ethan sped up the steep ramp, fighting his urge to close his eyes. The goateed vampire, dripping wet but nonchalant about it in the way only an un-dead bloodsucker could be, prepared to stop the Cadillac. And in a flash of lightning, Ethan saw that Harlow had joined his friend.

At the top of the ramp, the three boys were whiplashed as the car quickly braked to a halt. But only for a moment. Harlow let out a cry of fury; Gus screamed in agony. Benny had a glimpse of Gus' hands burning red and smoking as if they hadn't touched mere garlic powder, but an extremely corrosive acid.

The bloodsuckers leaped out of the way, and Ethan made a narrow-right turn, squealing the tires. Harlow tried once again. He grabbed the back bumper; but even Harlow couldn't keep his hands on the garlic powder layered Cadillac. Harlow fall ignobly into one of the alley's many puddles as Ethan again squelched his tires as he turned into the roadway proper.

* * *

Harlow fumed as Gus helped him up.

"It's incredible that after all my centuries I should be foiled by three bumbling idiots" Harlow fumed. "It was unbelievably ignominious for us to lose Colby to _them_ , upstart and glorified flunkey though he might have been. Of course, it was nothing at all like the loss of Anastasia."

"We didn't just lose Anastasia, we lost _all_ Whitechapel to them" Gus replied bitterly. "And my establishment for the immortal interested in an " _experience gastronomique_."

"Very true. However we will lose Toronto unless we take more severe measures" said Harlow. "And measures that are not strictly traditional. It was trouble enough convincing the remnants of our brethren to regroup here, they will outright refuse should us two admit defeat now. AND to admit defeat to such unworthy adversaries! Now track them before they get too far ahead of you. I want them dead tonight . . . drained, staked, stabbed, or beheaded . . . any way possible!"

"How about shot?" Gus suggested, as thunder dramatically . . . well, melodramatically . . . echoed him.

"I'll take care of the armour, you keep sight of them. In light traffic, they can travel upwards of thirty-miles per hour through these streets. Now . . . GO!"

And Gus was gone.

As Harlow well knew, there were a few simple reasons why vampires didn't use guns. First and foremost, they didn't need them! A vampire was too powerful to need a gun; for a vampire, _with a proper sense of vampire tradition_ , to use a gun was to admit helplessness, incompetence and idiocy. An immortal used their strength, their speed, their wits, and any of their other powers.

There was another problem too. Guns fired by a vampire obeyed the same restrictions faced by the vampire. One might think that a vampire could fire a gun into a house; but they'd be wrong. The very bullet would ricochet off the thin air in an open doorway. The integrity of a home was inviolate; unless a vampire was invited inside or owned a portion of it.

And, of course, vampires were literally after blood. Their fangs were the best way to get that!

Of the vampires Harlow associated with, only Colby had owned a working gun . . . an ancient British Bulldog Revolver which had belonged to Colby's father. Harlow had found it a tiresome idiosyncrasy that Colby couldn't bear to part with anything of his long-forgotten family's.

Harlow, as properly befitted an immortal, didn't go around jawing about his history. But now it did come to play. When Harlow was properly alive, muskets had barely superceded the arquebus. And he was of too high a birth to go to war with either . . . Harlow had never handled a gun in life or un-death. As a young man, Harlow's weapon had been the mortuary sword; fighting as a cavalier in the Civil War. The _English Civil War_ , 1639-1651.

Those abominable ultra-violet "plastic space swords" (as Harlow saw the light-sabres) had to be stopped! And what better way than with a man's sword and armour! But where to get one in these times? Where else but the _Royal Ontario Museum_ , which had a cavalier's sword, breastplate, buff-coat and helmet on display? Best of all, vampires didn't face the same disability when breaking into a museum as they did in breaking into a house . . . .

* * *

Gus tried desperately to catch up to the geeks, but Ethan had eluded him. The downtown skyscrapers blocked much of Gus' view. His un-dead eyes may have given him better than 20/20 vision, but not x-ray vision. Nor did they tell him which way to travel. And sniffing-out the bandaged and car-enclosed Ethan wasn't an option! As a last desperate move, Gus flew far up for an aerial view. But a black Cadillac isn't easy to spot in the dark.

* * *

Where had Ethan driven? Well, Ethan listened to the car's GPS, which oddly enough had the voice of a breathy Englishwoman. Rory was convinced the voice originally belonged to a super-model. Benny swore it was a sixty-year old woman pretending to be young. Ethan thought it was completely computer-generated, and it was Sarah, not the GPS, who had the hottest voice of any girl he had ever met. But _on that_ , Ethan kept his mouth shut.

At any rate, the GPS convinced Ethan to break _yet_ another of his G1 driving conditions. Not only was Ethan driving without a G driver with four years experiences by his side; not only was he driving between the hours of midnight and five o'clock a.m; but he was now making a speedy escape eastward on the Gardiner Expressway . . . and G1 drivers were banned from high-speed highway driving, unless accompanied by a licensed driving instructor.

"I'm so going to get my licence suspended" Ethan groaned, his face extra-tense as he inexpertly navigated the rain-soaked ramp from the elevated Gardiner down, down onto the northbound Don Valley Parkway. "And I'm going to lose that special "safe-occasional teen driver" insurance rate dad got me."

Ethan received a clap of thunder in reply.

"Cool!" said Rory. "You've got to do that thunder-thing again!"

Ethan would have given Rory his shooting-invisible-lasers-from-his-eyes glare, but he was too busy trying to stare through the wildly swinging wipers and keep from skidding on the rain-soaked road beside the now-swollen Don River.

"Just let me concentrate on the highway" begged Ethan. "I've never driven in weather like this . . . . or on a major highway . . . or chased by vampires."

Another clap of thunder for Ethan.

"You're doing awesome" said Rory, who trusted Ethan. "It would be more fun with me . . . but, you're right dude . . . I guess the Rorster should get a little more experience under his belt."

More lightning and thunder.

"Well, Rory, I guess you're driving . . . _ever_ . . . is such a chilling idea that it gets it's own thunderclap" Ethan said dryly.

" _Nuh-uh_ " said Rory angrily. "I'll be the coolest . . . ."

" _Dude_! Forget the thunder!" Benny interrupted from the back seat. "You practically begged to drive and now you're whining about it! IF you let me drive, Ethan, like I wanted to . . . ."

"Well, if it's between losing my license and ending up dead, I'm going to risk losing my license" snapped Ethan.

Before they fell into another argument, the breathy-British GPS advised the trio to take the next exit. The three fell quiet as Ethan passed under the massive Prince Edward Viaduct, and onto the long and winding Bloor Street ramp. After passing some distance through the wooded Don Valley, they arrived up again in the city, and atop the viaduct they had slipped beneath some minutes before.

"Go into that drive-through" suggested Benny, from the back seat.

"We're in a race against the vamps" Ethan pointed out.

"Ethan, pal" said Benny, "we're also about to fall asleep."

"Yeah" said Rory, with a yawn that spread to Ethan and Benny. "Team Sabre . . . minus Sarah . . . needs to be on bloodsucker alert. And you can't do that when you're drowsy."

"Point taken" Ethan said, braking, signalling and turning in. "I hope they don't realize we're too young for a full license."

"In a couple months you'll be eligible for your G2" Benny remarked. "I'm sure they don't have super-age-vision."

Benny's comment was met by ominous thunder.

"I hope that doesn't mean they _do_ have super-age-vision" quipped Ethan, as he pulled into the drive-through lane.

"In the movies" complained Rory, "you have the thunder when something bad happens. Not just whenever."

The three picked up a few large ice-cappuccino mochas. The coffess were good, what was also good was that the three realized they hadn't lost their wallets, smart phones, or, in Rory's case, camera in midair. They had, wary of thieves, thought ahead and worn jeans with zippered pockets to _A New Hope_ and the _Single Tear_ concert.

There was nothing better than chocolate-flavoured coffee (except maybe pizza!) to make three teens feel better, after a night of being chased and dropped by vampires. Not to mention three teens who had been up for nearly twenty-four hours and who had each puked at least once that evening.

Ethan began to relax as he drove onto the quiet residential streets of Rosedale. Here, the thunder and lightning were only sporadically visible as Ethan drove along the circuitous tree-lined routes and past the sedate homes and mansions alongside. The two surviving vampires probably had no idea where the three geeks were going! Ethan and his friends would have plenty of time to secure the house, leave the bloodsuckers with nothing but the clothes on their backs, and return to their cool "guy trip" full of "ordinary" excitement.

Or so Ethan thought.

"Arrive at destination on right" breathed the hot British chick on the GPS. Or the old British woman pretending to be a hot British chick, if Benny was right. Or the electronically synthesized voice that didn't sound one bit as hot as Sarah, if Ethan was to be believed.

"This is it?" asked Rory, as Ethan drove up a long driveway and parked in front of an old stand-alone garage.

"That's the garage, Rory" said Ethan impatiently.

"But the house, dude" said Benny. "Look at it!"

102 Primrose Path was a major disappointment to Benny. Benny was expecting a decaying mansion with shattered windows, broken shingles and crumbling masonry. Instead, before them was an impeccably groomed lawn with coniferous hedges and tall fir trees around a two-and-a-half story Victorian home. The place was red-brick with black roof, and covered with ivy. It was like a colossal version of Ethan's house. That is, if Ethan's houses had a large veranda in front, a conservatory in back, and several chimneys around the sides. Not to mention a second-floor balcony in back and a widow's walk along the slanting roof.

"It's sort of cool" said Rory, taking it in as he, along with the other two, naturally paused before stepping out into that cloudburst. "It's too bad the bloodsuckers are living in it. Uh, I know they're not really living, but uh, what do you call it?"

"Being under a really heavy-duty curse" Benny commented, as he looked at the house. "Ethan, pal, are you having another vision?"

"No" said Ethan, as he shivered and looked with foreboding at the house. "I just feel there's something really sick about the place. Worse than the fact it belonged to a vampire."

Ethan, Benny and Rory were again treated to a melodramatic bolt of lightning and clap of thunder. But this time it seemed to fit.


	23. The Old Dark House

**The Old Dark House**

It's hard to run through the dark in the pouring rain. Especially when you're wearing a scabbard with ultra-violet light sabre _while_ carrying a chocolate-flavoured ice cappuccino. But the three couldn't postpone the trip to secure the Flood house against vampires, nor were they willing to give up their drinks. Ethan, whose hands had been glued to the "ten and two" position while he was driving, had barely even started his!

The run was especially hard for Rory, whose night-vision was bad at the best of times. But lucky thing, the trio's light sabres weren't _only_ useful against vamps. They lit the way, and even Rory could follow Benny and Ethan without stumbling.

On the large, covered front porch the three stopped for breath. The house was well maintained, it looked as if actually human beings lived there! But then again, Ethan realized, Jesse's mansion had also been well kept. Whitechapel's "Vampire HQ", before it had been blown to smithereens by the lucifractor, had been surrounded by a manicured lawn and wrought iron fence.

"You do the honours, Rory" suggested Ethan, handing him the keys. "You really deserve it, after having to live with that rule about not coming inside unless you're invited. We'll have your back."

"You think there's someone in there?" asked Rory, as he squinted at the keys and finally found the one to open the house. That is, after mistakenly trying the condo key and a particularly rusty one that looked as if it opened a padlock.

"Someone or something" Ethan admitted.

More lightning and thunder.

"There's nothing like a thunder storm when you're about to enter a seriously eerie house" observed Benny wryly. "But it is cool."

Ethan and Benny held their light sabres like torches.

Incidentally, Benny was happy _not_ to be the one to go in first; about as happy as Rory was _to_ open the door.

The three finally entered the massive house. At first, it was so dark they couldn't see a thing, even with the illuminated sabres. But after a few seconds, Ethan found the old-school round light-switch and turned on the light.

Ethan, Benny and Rory looked around in surprise. Ethan, for one, had been expecting something like Jesse's mansion or even Colby's condo. Cool and expensive, everything you could want. Comfortable recliners, TV, stereo system, computers, wifi. But this place looked like it hadn't been changed in a century.

A large china and wrought-iron chandelier hung from the ceiling, an old grandfather clock kept perfect time by the door. There was a mahogany coat tree at the side and heavy rugs along the floor. A large, wooden staircase went upstairs. Paintings of landscapes were on the wall-papered walls.

"Where's all the cool stuff?" asked Benny. "You'd think a rich un-dead guy would have tonnes of video games, dvds and even an bigger tv! I'd have thought he had his own private theatre in here?"

"Maybe this is Harlow's doing" suggested Rory. "Maybe it used to be full of cool stuff and Harlow made it look old school?"

"I bet this hasn't been changed since Colby was turned into a vampire" said Ethan, looking around. "Everything here looks real old. Remember, the guy said he couldn't live here? The neighbours would notice he wasn't aging. I guess it's like a . . . museum?"

Benny laughed.

"Of what?" he said. "The museum of Colby?"

"It looks like it's mostly to his family" Ethan remarked. "The Floods."

Ethan received a flash of lightning in response. Very nearby in fact, as the succeeding crack of thunder was deafening.

"Guys!" called out Rory. "Look at this!"

"Dude, Rory, where are you?" said Benny.

"The dining room, buddy" said Rory, who Benny could see was in the now lighted next room over. "It looks like this was going to be the new vampire council room."

Ethan and Benny went in the massive room. It had clearly been a formal dining room. But the old table and chairs had been unceremoniously pushed to the side and covered with volumes of leather-bound books. With a cross-eyed glance, Rory had tried to look in them but he soon realized it was in some foreign language.

"It's Latin" said Benny, with a quick glance. "The serious vampire stuff is almost always in Latin. It seems to be a rule with the bloodsuckers.

"Yeah, the vampire council was real big on Latin" said Rory, with a face. "You'd think they'd have moved to Latvia."

Rory didn't notice Ethan's look of incredulity.

"A lot of the spells in my magic book are also Latin" Benny continued.

"The bloodsuckers managed to pack most of the books before they fled Whitechapel" Ethan said. "I guess they're all right here. The ones they were able to save."

The original sideboard was stuffed with more weird books, the real valuable ones though were in mahogany bookshelves. In the centre of the room, was an enormous table and three chairs, all with clawed feet. There was the bill still on top.

"Fifty grand!" Rory exclaimed. "Fifty grand for the table, ten grand for each of the chairs. That's bogus!"

"And they're uncomfortable" said Ethan, sitting in one of them. "For that much, they could have bought the world's most awesome power recliners! The ones with a built in T.V., stereo, electrical outlets, high speed internet access and HDMI cables."

"Only the most expensive chairs are good enough for their un-dead butts" joked Benny.

As, Ethan, Benny and Rory didn't have many opportunities to sit in $10,000 chairs and at a $50,000 table, that was where they finished their ice cappuccino Mocha. The friends also made sure to put their feet up on the table although they'd all get heck for doing that at home. But this was a bloodsucker's table after all, and neither of the three had any reason to be respectful of anything having to do with a vampire's council.

The three thought about what to do? Now that they were inside, could they just leave again and trust the house was "sealed" against the bloodsuckers? Or would they have to stick around and guard the place. That wouldn't work, would it? They couldn't stay there forever! And soon they'd have to get back home to Benny's mother and grandmother's house. And neither Benny's mother or grandmother could be dragged into the fight; inviting Rachel or Irene to affix a _Mezuzah_ to the door was out of the question.

"But dudes, how can we lock out the vamps?" asked Rory.

"By locking out the vampires!" said Ethan, his eyes lighting up . . . in their ordinary sense, not their supernatural seer glimmer.

"That'll work" said Benny, excited. "Vampires can't come in unless they're invited, and, dudes, _nothing says uninvited like locking them out_. Sometimes all you need against monsters is a real good symbol."

* * *

So, it was easy! The three decided to make the rounds of the house, from the double cellar doors in the basement to the door exiting onto the widow's walk in the attic, locking every entry way in sight. And putting on every light in sight, as it turned out.

Ethan claimed that it was safer and more practical that way. In fact, although Ethan genuinely knew there wasn't any reason to stumble around in the dark, the fact was he really, really didn't want to. Not that he was afraid of the dark or anything of the sort, but Ethan found the place seriously creepy. More so than either Benny or Rory, who were just perplexed by it all.

The house was almost frozen in time. More so than even the vampire council's building. From the fuse-box in the basement, to the old floor-model radio in the living room, it looked like time had stopped a hundred years ago. As the trio locked the double cellar doors atop the concrete stairs leading outside, they couldn't help but notice the buzzing old-school fuses and the oversized boiler. On the first storey, the living room looked as if it was waiting for the return of the wealthy family that had lived there a century before. All the furniture was finely upholstered, the wood polished, and (as Ethan discovered as he tried a few notes of the song he had composed some months earlier) the grand piano tuned. The conservatory didn't have any plants in it, but was furnished as if Colby was in the habit of sitting in the sun (which, in spite of the bloodsuckers' trip to the beach to look over the buffet, couldn't be true, could it?). The kitchen was bare of food but had plenty of dishes and an ancient (but empty) refrigerator that looked little more than a cabinet on carved legs with a round motor humming atop.

There was here, at least, a large book on the counter. Rory, curious, opened it only to see one of many pages of spidery handwriting in what looked like brownish-red ink.

"This is seriously messy writing" said Rory, squinting. "All I can make out is something about breakfast, omelette, raison toast, orange marmalade and orange juice . . . it's be breakfast time in about four or five hours. Man, I can't believe I'm hungry again."

"Especially after what we've been through tonight" said Ethan wryly.

Ethan thought the notion that teenage boys were always hungry was a _really lame joke_. Or, at least, it only applied to jocks but not geeks. Ethan conveniently ignored the fact that not only Benny or Rory, but he as well could bolt down a good-sized pizza at one sitting and have enough room left for cheese-topped garlic bread and a large bottle of root beer. Then _still_ be ready to have some chocolate cake for dessert.

"I'm good with bad handwriting" Ethan told Rory, as he took the book and likewise squinted at it . . . but with far more success.

"Does you seer power help you read that stuff?" Benny asked Ethan, jokingly.

"My Dad's handwriting does" said Ethan with a grin. "Insurance agents are like doctors that way . . . wait . . . it . . . it . . . couldn't be? That . . . that . . . fracking murderer. It is!"

"Is what?" asked Benny and Rory.

" _Blood a la Orange_ " read Ethan, whose grin had turned into a frown as his eyes began gaping with horror. _"To properly prepare subject, treat them to a breakfast of a fresh citrus orange and omelette with raisin toast and marmalade jam. Orange juice to drink, make sure any coffee subject chooses to indulge in is decaffeinated as caffeine will spoil their flavour. This tangy yet refreshing treat features its best flavour in a slightly obese subject, harvested approximately ten-minutes after his or her last meal. At all costs remember to ensure subject is cognizant of their fate, their mortal terror provides the adrenaline that is so valued by the immortal gourmet."_

"Gross" Rory exclaimed. "It's like . . . like _Hannibal_. You know, in that movie. _Silence of the Lambs_."

"This brown ink" said Ethan, who now threw the book down compulsively, "it's dried blood. His cookbook's written in blood."

"It _was_ written in blood" said Benny.

Benny grimaced, then grabbed the book and threw it into the kitchen's fireplace. He tried, once, twice, thrice, and finally hit it with a fireball. The three watched as the book burned into cinders.

"At least Gus the Gourmet won't have his recipes anymore" Benny observed.

Ethan locked the mansion's back door.

"The less time we spend here the better" Ethan said.

There was another outside door at the back of the house, leading into a fine library. The interior door was locked, but the three needed to go in as there was french door leading from the library into the garden.

This room was not like the others. It showed its age and was as dusty as if Colby had shunned it for many years. This room wasn't only a library, but was partly furnished as a home office, nineteen-twenties style with enormous desk and leather chairs, with a long-silent stock ticker machine. The stock-ticker was the first thing the three had seen in the house that was haphazard, the stock ticker was covered in yards of yellowed and dusty ticker tape.

This was the first room the three viewed that had family portraits. These photographs had all taken many decades ago and were yellowed with age. No reproductions and newly made copies from negatives _here_ , like those in Colby's condo. A quick glance at the family pictures told Ethan that Colby had an older sister and his mother seemed to be absent from most of the "newer" portraits.

"I guess they forget to clean this room" shrugged Rory. "What's this paper here?"

"It's ticker-tape. They used to get the stock market prices on it" Ethan explained. "There must have been a telegraph cable connected here in the old days."

Rory gave the yellowed paper a brief glance, but couldn't make head nor tails out of the signals nor prices.

"I know they didn't have high speed internet in the old days" Rory said. "But you think they could have used the old school way, dial-up. Or even the phone instead of this."

"At least it's not written in blood, buddy" said Benny snickered.

Ethan walked past the desk to lock the french doors leading to the yard outside. Ethan wasn't interested in the room nor the pictures nor the ticker tape nor anything to do with Colby's life. Why would he be? But Ethan was about to get a brief outline anyways . . . .

It happened the instant Ethan brushed the ticker-tape on his way to rejoin Benny and Rory. At the moment of contact, Ethan's eyes turn gleaming white; the sudden onslaught of his seeing powers also had Ethan trip into the leather chair before the desk. Bizarrely, the ticker-tape machine began to madly clatter away, although there were no longer any working telegraph wires in the city. Rory and Benny knew enough, by now, to wait it out and hope that . . . like most of Ethan's visions . . . it would be over soon.

And the thunder roared yet again.


	24. The Creation of a Monster

**The Creation of a Monster**

Ethan had experienced "back-in-time visions" before. Early on, the reluctant seer had a vision of Jesse in his former identity as Reverend Horace Black. Some months before, Ethan had been given a detailed vision of what had happened to the ghost of girl trapped in the school's backstage mirror. Now, Ethan had a brief and undesired glimpse of the life and un-death of Colby V. Flood.

* * *

Ethan watched the then-living Colby in a smart grey suit sharing ice cream sundaes with a blonde girl in period dress. The twenties, Ethan guessed, as he had seen pictures of flappers. The rest of Colby's friends entered the ice cream parlour, and the teenager waved to them.

* * *

The next view surprised Ethan. Colby and the girl were walking past a Salvation Army kettle outside the ice cream parlour. While the girl walked obliviously by, Colby stopped to drop a dollar bill with what Ethan was supposed to be a couple words of encouragement. Then Colby and the girl went into a small Oldsmobile roadster. Colby drove off, happily honking the old-style horn and then . . . there was this:

"Why did you give her money?" asked the blonde, skeptically. "You're not a member are you?"

"They do a lot of good work, Laura" said Colby, indignantly. "Not everybody's life is the bee's knees. They keep people from starving and help them back on their feet if they fall flat."

"That's the riff-raff's problem" Colby's girlfriend yawned. "Not ours."

Ethan had but a few times seen a Canadian one dollar bill (it had been replaced by the Loonie before he was born), but he was more surprised at the charitable Colby than the currency.

* * *

Now Ethan had a view of Colby at a gravestone, laying down some flowers. Ophelia Flood. Colby's mother.

"I've graduated high school, Mother" he said respectfully. "This year I'm entering Victoria College at the University of Toronto. Like Dad. I'm sure you'll be proud of me."

* * *

This scene was replaced by one Ethan had remembered seeing on film. The stock market, on a particularly busy and chaotic day. Whether it was the New York Stock Exchange or the Toronto Stock Exchange he didn't know. All Ethan realized was the date, October 29, 1929. Black Tuesday, when the infamous Crash of '29 had gone into full swing.

The stock market closed with a clanging of the bell, and superimposed on the scene Ethan read a large brass nameplate that appeared out of the ether. _Flood Company. Stockbrokers. Montreal and Toronto. Since 1857._

* * *

The stock market was replaced by a view of the Flood mansion, and a Cadillac Fleetwood Limousine driven by a young chauffer. The young man seemed worried about his employer as he opened the car door, and with good reason. This gentleman, grey at the temples and obviously Colby's father, was deathly pale and with visibly shaking hands.

* * *

The next scene Ethan observed was the library again, and the now elder Flood throwing down the ticker tape down in despair. Colby Flood Senior went to a set of encyclopaedias, removed a couple of volumes and pulled out a wooden box from behind. Flood opened the box, revealing a small handgun. A Wembley British Bulldog Revolver. Flood loaded the gun, sat at his desk, and put the gun to his temple with trembling hand . . . .

* * *

Instead of seeing the gruesome result, Ethan had a view of the obliviously happy Colby speeding his roadster home and up the driveway . . . and honking his arrival. Colby had a cheerful word with the chauffer, who was working on the limousine. Colby briefly looked concerned, but shrugged it off. Colby returned to his car, took out a ukulele and went into the house. He was let in by an aged maid, who used an ear-horn to hear anything that Colby had to say.

* * *

Ethan had a first-hand look as Colby found his father's body. And Colby' reaction, which was terrible. "Dad. Dad? DAD! DAD!" And the Colby, with a tear-stained face, frantically picking up the telephone, calling out the doctor, and then running for help.

* * *

Ethan had a rapid-fire view of Colby and his sister meeting an elderly lawyer; the lawyer shaking his head to Colby's pleas. Colby asking for help from friends, but repeatedly having the door slammed in his face. Colby selling his car and what looked like a coin collection. Colby visiting his girl with his ukelele and having her break it over his head. Finally Colby looking bleakly as a man in an A-Ford handed him a paper.

"Just like that?" asked Colby.

"If these debts aren't paid promptly, your father's house and all its contents go up for sale" said the man sneeringly. "You aren't of age, so I expect you to hand the papers to your sister. But I will say this. I do think it's fairly amusing for a boy like you to be out on the street. Having to earn a living. But then again, you'll probably end up on the dole. Unemployment's thirty percent. Maybe you can hop a freight like the rest of the bums."

Colby did get in a good punch. But in the next scene Ethan viewed, Colby's punch to his father's chauffer was being blocked by _that_ young man's iron grip. Here was Colby, in his father's library and beside the fatal desk.

* * *

Colby was facing the now ex-chauffer, now out of uniform and in a suit and newsboy cap . . . the chauffer had his arm around Colby's older sister.

Colby's sister, for her part, was a slim young woman in a black dress and jacket, with a face pinched through her recent troubles. But she was gently smiling, and looked earnestly to her younger brother and . . . admiringly at the family's former driver.

"I know how you feel, Colby" explained the chauffer. "One thing after another . . . ."

"You can't marry my sister" Colby snarled. "All this time you pretended you were my pal!"

"Fred and I have loved each other for a long time" Colby's sister explained. "But, of course, Fred couldn't just marry his boss's daughter. Until now. He's willing to provide for us. Not just me but you too. Take us both away from this place."

" _This place_? This is our home" Colby growled, outraged. "We're Floods."

"Oh, Colby" said his sister, trying to embrace him.

Colby stonily rejected her. He turned around and stood pretending to examine the view outside the french door.

"Please, listen to reason" she said. "Everything's gone.

"I am your pal" the ex-chauffer protested. "And you can't live here anymore. My uncle has a farm in the country that he'll be leaving to me, you can stay with us as a partner. Maybe you'll find make a mint in the future, maybe not? Maybe when you have a plan you can move on, maybe you'll stay with us. But do you really want to be left on your own, now, the way things are in the world?"

"I'm not going to live with riff-raff" said Colby coldly.

"You don't mean that" said his sister.

"I do" lied Colby, still refusing to face her. "You were just waiting for a chance like this, weren't you Fred?"

The man turned red with anger, but swallowed it.

"Let's go" said the chauffer to Colby's sister.

"You know where to find us" Colby's sister told her brother.

Before the onetime chauffer left, he produced the cap from his uniform, which had a good deal of coins and small bills in it. It was a collection the now departed servants left for Colby.

* * *

Ethan had little to see as Colby forlornly eyed the money. After several hours sulking forlornly in a chair, the still properly alive Colby went up to his room in the now deserted house and went to pack.

"I don't know where I'll go" Colby said to himself. "But I'll make it on my own, or I won't make it. I-I-I won't be a milquetoast. And I sure won't be that mug of a chauffer's hired hand. I'll do anything to get back my place!"

On cue, the doorbell rang.

Colby went to open the door. Colby stared out at a man with a newspaper in front of his face.

"So, I understand this estate is soon going to put up for auction?" said the man, in a suave voice familiar to Ethan. "It's too bad, chum, for a man like you. Top of the world one day, now . . . but how would you like to be top of the world again? I've been wanting to make friends in high society, have a conduit to the finer things in life, and I'm betting we can come to an arrangement. Why, you're just the man I've been looking for."

The man lowered the newspaper, and Ethan had a full view of Jesse . . . with that arrogant self-satisfied smirk that had long been indelibly burned into Ethan's mind.

Jesse was current to the era, in a suit with wide-pinstripes and a fedora hat perched crookedly on his head. Beside him was a girl with a long pearl necklace and bobbed haircut.

Ethan _thought_ he had seen her with Jesse back in Whitechapel. One of the un-dead girls of Jesse's gang, who had been doused and destroyed by the holy water he, Sarah and Benny had put into the _Westdale Theatre's_ sprinkler system. But that had been two years ago, and Ethan never had a _real_ good glimpse of all Jesse's gang . . . _especially since his attention was and had always been on Sarah!_

The fact Jesse had a steady vampire girlfriend didn't surprise Ethan. Ethan had long concluded that Sarah was just supposed to be one in a line of that bloodsucking Romeo's girls. But the proof did give Ethan _yet_ another reason to hate that moldy set of bones now lying in an anonymous grave.

"You can do all that . . . but how?" asked Colby skeptically.

"Just invite me in . . . and Betty too" said Jesse, nonchalantly. "We can talk."

"Come in" said Colby, fatally.

"Have plenty of photographs?" Jesse casually mentioned to Colby, once properly inside. "And the negatives?"

"Yes, why?" asked Colby.

"Well, you might soon find them more valuable than you'd ever thought. A good portrait painter is hard to find. I don't go for the impressionist painters, myself. I want realism. You'll soon know why."

"But what does that have to do with anything?" said Colby.

Jesse looked at Colby and smirked, showing his fangs . . . so did his girl.

Colby was surprised, but not so much as Ethan would have been. More than anything, Colby looked confused.

"That's . . . that's . . . some over-bite" Colby babbled stupidly. "Those teeth . . . you look sort of like Lon Chaney in _London After Midnight_."

"Over-bite!" said Jesse's gun moll. "Me, look like Lon Chaney? In any one of his thousand faces? Do you know who or what you're talking too . . . ."

"Easy, Betty" said Jesse, with a smirk. "He's very green. But Betty, how would you like to be the one to . . . induct him?"

"Oh, that'll be copacetic Jesse" said Betty. "I like ritzy food. I never . . . inducted . . . anyone before. And it'll be the elephant's eyebrows seeing a guy like him as a newb."

"It's usually interesting to see how they react" said Jesse. "I bet a guy like him, well, a youth, his height . . . at first, he's going to have trouble keeping his . . . over-bite . . . in check. That's always fun to see."

"I don't have an over-bite" objected Colby, his eyes bugging in his confusion. "And what's this induction talk all about? The Great War ended over eleven years ago."

"Forget The Great War" said Jesse, clapping Colby on the shoulder. "Let's talk about the over-bite, chum. That over-bite's the key to getting back your family fortune. _And_ having the time to enjoy it. _And_ getting back at all those mugs who've been stomping you into the ground. And my cut? Well, I've spent a lot of time over the years in a town called Whitechapel. Things are, I can't stay there all the time. And if I'm living . . . so to speak . . . in Toronto, I'd like to have the right-sort of friends. I found out about your family's difficulties in the paper, they're deep on the inside society pages of course. But those troubles . . . in a backwater provincial city, they're nothing money won't put over. All you'll have to do is join my flock . . . I mean, my organization . . . ."

* * *

"The one good thing you could say about Bloodsucker Colby" said Ethan, diplomatically "was that he never went after his sister or her husband, the chauffer."

Ethan had described his vision to Rory and Benny. The vision had only taken a couple minutes from start to end, but the room had been rapidly filling with ticker-tape during that time. In fact, the machine continued while Ethan talked. Rory had, in fact, tried to unplug the machine, but been unable to find a cord or a plug for it and had soon given up.

"So, instead of being poor like us" Benny exclaimed, "the guy went and got himself bitten by Jesse. What an idiot!"

"I think Colby got the gun moll to bite him instead" said Ethan. "Colby was useful to Jesse, enough to chose to be bitten on the neck by a hot girl instead of . . . you know . . . ."

Ethan made a disgusted face and rubbed his arm. He had a faint burst of thunder too, for his troubles.

"I was wondering where the thunder was!" joked Benny. " _Our_ storm must be going away!"

"Did Colby become evil right away . . . or did he become _corrupted_?" asked Rory, as his face betrayed unusual concentration on his part. "You know like Spiderman when he bonded with the Symbiotes? I mean if he was a good guy, I mean, how it is it that he just turned evil like that? I guess it was Jesse. I mean, if you ever listen to him explain . . . it's just fracking unreal, I mean if you've just been bitten."

Ethan and Benny exchanged glances. They still didn't want to explain to Rory what Evelyn had told them a couple weeks before. Vampire tradition held that people became bloodsuckers with their eyes wide-open, and of their own free will. Vamps were usually "someone who is so hurting, vengeful, or downright brokenhearted they'd be willing to give up their humanity for power, glamour and immortality." And there was nothing like being turned into a literally bloodthirsty monster to corrupt a person with _that_ already against them.

"He knew what he was getting into, Rory" said Ethan after some thought. "You and Sarah didn't have a choice, Jesse never even explained to you what a vampire really was. It meant you two stayed good . . . on the inside in spite of being turned into bloodsuckers. So we got you guys back when the curse went off, just the way you were before you were cursed."

"Only Ethan finally got a girlfriend" Benny observed jovially, "and you Rory, dude, finally got taller."

* * *

The three shared a fist bump as they left the room. Ethan briefly considered getting the British Bulldog Revolver, which he was sure was still hidden behind the books . . . but he didn't. There were a few reasons. Ethan didn't know how to use a gun (outside a video game . . . was it as easy as Marty McFly learning to use a revolver in _Back to the Future 3_?); Ethan could get into serious legal trouble carrying one around without the right license (let alone concealed); and most of all . . . they _probably_ didn't work against vampires.

"The real, living Colby was pretty much dead the moment he let Jesse in" observed Ethan as he glanced again at the inexhaustible stream of ticker-tape.

"But why did vampire Colby want to keep everything the way it was when he was bit?" asked Rory. "Nobody else seems to do that?"

"If you give up your life, you probably want to keep what you gave it up for. This house, and being a Flood" guessed Ethan, with a shrug. "Even if bloodsucking Colby liked being a bloodsucker. Unless there's some magical consequence for being cursed like he was? He's forced to keep it, maybe?"

"I don't know" Benny admitted sheepishly. "I, uh, have to ask Grandma Evelyn about that. But, dude, Ethan, what was the point of all this? You usually have visions of useful stuff. Not the life and times of Colby the Killer!"

Ethan had an idea, as he and his friends lingered to take one last look back on the strangely clattering ticker-tape machine.

"I . . . don't think vampires are the only paranormal _thing_ in this house" Ethan said. "Someone or something wanted us to see Colby at his best."

"A stuck-up rich kid?" asked Benny incredulously. "Like that grandson of Manafort Brunner we saved?"

"I guess" shrugged Ethan, as he closed the door to the study "A sort of good-natured, stuck-up rich kid. That was what Colby was before he destroyed his life. I . . . have a hunch that we're going to run into something a lot worse than . . . a perpetual-motion stock-ticker by the time we're done."

Ethan, Benny and Rory shuddered.

"We've just gotta keep locking doors" said Ethan.

"I can't wait to get out of this place" Benny agreed. "It's _way_ creepy, even for guys as awesome and fearless as us."

Rory nodded, and looked around expectantly for a bolt of lightning or a resounding thunderclap to punctuate the remark. But, to his disappointment, this time there was nothing to be heard but the pouring rain and the clattering of the "perpetual-motion" stock-ticker from behind the library door.


	25. Terror in the Attic

**Terror in the Attic**

Benny expected the rest of the house to be secured in only a couple minutes . . . that is, if they didn't run into Ethan's "something a lot worse." But after locking the doors to a couple of second-storey balconies, the three were at a loss. They couldn't find the stairs to the top floor, which if it was anything like Benny's or Ethan's houses, would be one open attic. Or maybe several distinct rooms, given how big the place was.

Ethan was impatient looking through the second floor. Again, most of it looked as if it had been frozen in time nearly a hundred-years ago. Since vampires barely slept, the rooms hadn't taken as much damage on the part of Harlow and Gus. Well, Harlow obviously had taken over Colby's father's room. This large room with heavy furniture definitely hadn't featured a stack of linen paper and quill pens back in the twenties. Or those weird vampire council uniforms set out in the closet.

As for Gus, his room had a good deal of suitcases. Opening one, Benny found several stainless steel kitchen utensils. Benny threw them out the nearest window.  
"You're not going to Benny a la Orange me" he said.

The three vainly looked through the closets for a trapdoor to the attic, like Rory had in his home. Colby's sister's room, which was spotless; Colby's mother's, which was connected to Colby's father by an interior door; and a few guestrooms which looked as if they had come from a particularly tony hotel.

Colby's room looked out of the twenties, with gramma-phone and a pinup of a starlet whom Ethan identified (with his seer power) as that of Greta Garbo.

* * *

The three returned to the hallway to decide what to do next.

"Why don't we just have Benny float us up?" asked Rory as he leant against the wall, when the three had returned to the hallway. "Someone can go to the door to that walkway upstairs and lock it up there."

"I can only do one of us" said Benny.

"And you're not very good at that!" thought Ethan, but kept quiet as Benny's floating spell had just saved the three of them a couple hours before. But he couldn't just keep quiet?

"I'll go" Rory volunteered.

"No, you can't, Rory" said Ethan, as Benny gave him a death stare. "Look, Benny, you can beat gravity and save us all from being splatted. "But what about your aim? The last thing we need is any of floating into space . . . again. Plus we should probably keep together . . . especially up there."

And a fit of shivering came over Ethan.

"Okay, Ethan" said Rory reluctantly, who although disappointed decided to trust his smarter and more cautious friend. Especially after the trouble he had gotten into on other occasions! "But how do we get up!"

"By the stairs" said Ethan, excitedly. "How stupid can we be? Of course there are stairs. They've just been boarded up . . . not even that, they've been wallpapered over. Colby's been getting up there through that door on the roof all this time."

"So we have to go room to room, calculating where the hidden stairs are?" grumbled Benny

"No, they're right behind Rory" said Ethan.

Rory jumped and turned to look at a wooden cabinet and a patch of wall. But Ethan was right. This patch of bare wall was right above the main staircase heading downstairs, and the ceiling of the main staircase downstairs was sloped. That was the location of the attic stairs in Ethan's house; although Ethan's house was much smaller, it was still the likeliest place for the stairs here.

* * *

Benny did use his floating spell, but to move a heavy wooden cabinet out of the way. Given it landed upside-down by the window, Ethan and even Rory were relieved _not_ to have trusted Benny to float them up instead of "only" magically breaking their fall and saving them from the big SPLAT.

Light sabres weren't useful against wallpaper, but Benny remembered Gus' suitcases and snapped his fingers with an accidental spark of magic. Benny ran off, but soon arrived back in the hallway with a knife (the three of them looked at that knife loathingly, and sincerely hoped Gus only used his fangs against people!) and stuck it in looking for the cleft between the old door and the wall. Sure enough, it worked, and soon enough there was a door before them sans doorknob.

"If Colby wanted everything kept perfectly, why did he board up the attic stairs?" said Ethan, saying the question on all three of there minds.

"In the old days, that's where the servants lived" said Rory, sagely. "Up on the third floor."

"It would be like the guy not to care about the help" Benny said. "But how did you know that?"

"How did you not know?" Rory retorted. "The last two years they've had us reading nineteenth century English-novels in English class.

"It's too boring to actually read" Benny admitted, as he tried to open the door without the doorknob.

"It might be easier with the doorknob" said Ethan.

"Dude, where was it?" asked Benny. "Use your seer power?"

"It fell out of that wooden cabinet" said Ethan, with a grin. "I saw it alright . . . but with my eyes."

Ethan inserted the doorknob, and let Rory to use the key (the one that looked like it opened a rusty padlock). Ahead of them was a flight of very steep and extremely dusty steps.

* * *

Rory figured that bad omens were true; just like many things he didn't know existed two-years before. And Rory had the worst omen, the one-and-only thing about his restored humanity he didn't like . . . and had hated since the time he was four. The third-storey was so dusty that halfway up the stairs, he took a breath and didn't get any air. Too dusty for Rory's trusty garlic to ward off his asthma, whatever it might do to fight vampires. At the top of the stairs, Rory couldn't help but start coughing . . . but his reliable asthma inhaler put a stop to it. And once it was over, Rory brightened up. A little coughing once in a while, or cursed into a creature so evil anything holy was deadly to him? Who'd never grow up and have a life like his friends? No contest, no contest at all.

Ethan and Benny had asked the typical questions; "Are you okay?", "Hold on, dude!", "Take a deep breath, Rory". Ethan was naturally concerned, but _almost_ in a good way, as it had been a long time since he had said this (back in the summer before they had started high school).

Once, it was over, the three were able to turn on the nearest round light switch and look about.

* * *

Whether you called it an attic or the third-floor was a matter of preference. Although the ceiling plainly sloped at the side of the building, it wasn't an open space, like in Ethan's house, but divided into several rooms and at least one narrow hallway. Although vampires might not reflect, and it was an open question if they left fingerprints, they apparently left shoe-prints as Colby's were here and there showing up deep in the dust. They led to the opposite side of the house, where in the gloom Ethan could see a short, spindly spiral-staircase leading to a door out to the roof. Or, rather, the cupola with a roof peaked like a witch's hat and a french door out to the widow's walk alongside the rooftop of the old mansion.

But the three geeks stalled, as they were amazed. Among the dust, the dim light, the wooden floorboards and faded wallpaper the place was filled with about the largest collection of miscellanea they had ever seen. A king's ransom in _stuff_. And why was it all there? Record players, bicycles, mugs, neckties, music boxes, women's hats, woman's purses, jewellery, laptops, cell phones and boxes upon boxes of watches.

"What the heck is all this?" asked Rory.

"Vampires have to find a place to put their junk" said Benny. "Grandma Evelyn usually puts it in the garage. Or the basement."

"We use the attic" Ethan said.

"I wish my house had an attic like this" said Rory idly. "All our attic has is pipes, insulation and trusses. You can't walk up there . . . well you can, but you'd go through the ceiling if you didn't keep on the beams. And my mom would really ground me then."

But there was something about Colby's strange stockpile that put Ethan's nerves on end. So much so that he really didn't want to take the seemingly simple walk to that spiral staircase down the hall. But, a geek's gotta do, what a geek's gotta do . . . .

Benny soon picked up on the fraught mood, and . . . as he very rarely did . . . looked quietly and cautiously around. Benny felt like he was in for some sort of shock, like the time he had seen Sarah bite that rat in Downtown Whitechapel thereby proving everything Ethan had been telling him about Sarah having been a vampire (at the time). And the fact the supernatural _actually existed_.

As for Rory, who had at first curiously looked back and forth at the stuff, he soon had an unexpected bout of shivering.

The steady beat of raindrops on the roof, and the slow return of the thunder as another storm cell approached, didn't lighten the mood. A strange roar, as if from a stray gust of wind, likewise added to the gloom.

The rooms at the sides had once been, as Rory guessed, servant rooms. But they too were filled, almost to overflowing, with the items. And then, near one room, Ethan stopped so abruptly that Rory and Benny stumbled into him. Ethan looked in.

"Dude, the stairs are that way" commented Benny.

"A heart-shaped locket" Ethan said, as he grabbed something off a cluttered and dusty night-table to show Benny.

"So . . . a heart-shaped locket?" said Benny. "You want to give it to Sarah, don't you?"

Ethan opened it, and showed Benny a photo of a woman and her blonde daughter. The teenage girl was very good looking, but the clothes she wore reminded Benny of those in his Grandma Evelyn's old yearbook.

"She must be really old by now" said Rory innocently, also looking at the photo. "She's probably a grandmother."

"I wish she was a grandmother" said Ethan morosely. "Colby kept a list of victims in notebooks. One of them said _"Grand opening of Toronto subway, March 30, 1954. Picked up blonde U of T coed for ice cream. Nineteen years old. Heart-shaped locket, but only 10 karat gold."_

Sure enough, the back of the locket said 10K.

"Dude, he kept a . . . collection" said Benny.

And it was clear was all this was. Souvenirs of Colby's victims. Thousands upon thousands of them.

"When he was alive, he collected coins" said Ethan.

"And then, when the guy became a bloodsucker he kept on collecting" Benny observed. "Like Erica did, this past year, only way worse."

"Sort of how we'd be collecting" said Ethan hollowly. "Everything itemized."

"You keep your stuff way more organized" said Rory. "My mom and dad make me keep my models and things neat. They get angry if I don't keep my room clean."

"Rory, buddy" said Benny impatiently "Focus! Evil vampire taking souvenirs from victims. You keeping your room clean so you won't be grounded. Two entirely different things!"

"Uh . . . yeah" said Rory, whose mind turned back to the horror about him.

"Where were the cops?" wondered Ethan. "This, at least, is evidence."

"It's not as if vampires leave much in the way of clues" Benny reminded him. "And they're not really easily caught! And even if the police had an idea . . . . not only are they good at covering their tracks, it's _really_ hard to believe there's such a thing as vampires doing the killing."

"It's too bad we weren't able to catch them at the bank" Ethan said. "Nobody believes this stuff until they see it."

The three fell silent, and listened to the beating of the rain on the roof.

It was true. As much as Ethan scoffed at people like Principal Hick's eyes being closed to the supernatural, it had been the same with everybody he knew . . . himself included.

Nobody had believed Jane when she told Benny and the Morgans about the terrifying murder of the kid taking slap-shots off the Morgan garage. Benny didn't believe Ethan when he warned his best friend of Sarah's wonky reflection. And Rory wouldn't listen to Benny nor Ethan's warnings about the danger he was in at the vampire's party.

* * *

The three were able to make it to the short, spiral staircase without too much trouble. And, after climbing the rickety stairs, Ethan opened and then slammed closed the door and locked it.

"We can finally go home" said Ethan. "I mean, home to your mom and grandma's, Benny."

"Last one out of this place is a Cylon" claimed Rory.

That, of course, was a challenge that couldn't go unanswered!

"You're not going to beat me" said Benny, who was starting down the hall, accidentally jostling some of the collection.

"Wait 'til I get down from these stairs if we're going to race" said Ethan.

Along the banister post at the bottom of that spiral staircase, Ethan noticed something he hadn't seen the first time. A long pearl necklace. Ethan whistled in surprise. It was the necklace that belonged to Colby's girlfriend, the one who had broken the ukelele over his head. Colby had taken his revenge and she must have been one of his first victims, if not _the_ first.

Ethan immediately regretted that whistle, because that was the moment disaster struck.


	26. Unwittingly Evil

**Unwittingly Evil**

Benny and Rory had stopped inching down the hall. They had realized it was unfair to leave Ethan behind as he climbed down those corkscrew stairs. Mostly because of _where they were_ , not so much as to stop Ethan from being the last one out and therefore a Cylon.

But Ethan didn't get off the staircase, he found himself floating off his feet, tumbling upside down and being glued onto the ceiling with a _thud_ as some of the plaster rained down around him.

"Benny!" he gasped.

"I didn't do anything" said Benny.

But now Benny and Rory found themselves floating, inverted, and soon stuck to the ceiling.

"I don't want to float again today" Rory complained.

The three yelled in terror . . . and to their credit, managed not to scream like girls.

The three were unstuck and then shot down the hall to a place above the stairs where they had first come into the attic. Thud again, as the three were forced against the wall as if they were tied against it with ropes. Or so Rory thought. Benny considered it more like being subject to a Sith using the dark side of the force against them.

Ethan, for his part, was reminded unpleasantly of the time he was seven and signed up for his public school's intermural soccer games. The jock who ran his team hung him up on a chainlink fence by the hood of his _Pokemon_ jacket.

"What the frack's going on!" Benny yelled at Ethan.

"Why are you asking me?" said Ethan.

In desperation, Benny and Ethan looked at Rory.

"You guys are the spellmaster and the seer" Rory retorted. "I'm just an awesome monster hunting charter member of Team Sabre. I mean, we're all awesome monster hunting charter members of Team Sabre, but . . . .

"We get it Rory" said Ethan, then turned to Benny. "Is your magic acting up . . . sort of like my seeing power goes off by itself?"

"That would be cool" said Benny, thinking about how much power he'd have for that to happen. "I mean . . . but, no, dude, I'm sure it isn't me."

Ethan didn't reply, as before him now was a sight that drained every bit of colour from his face. Ethan now realized what had terrified him about Colby's house.

Coach Ed had suddenly disappeared from Whitechapel High School decades before. He was trapped in the school's only trophy, before Ethan accidentally freed him when he handled the relic. Ethan had, by his mere presence, also reactivated the possessed car of Manafort Brunner; and the evil vampire that possessed it.

That bloodsucking murderer of thousands, Colby V. Flood, was now truly dead. And Ethan had been wandering through the attic. Someone . . . or something . . . downstairs in the library had wanted Ethan to see what Colby had been like in life . . . as a human being before being twisted into an un-dead murderer. The phantom who had wanted Ethan to see Colby in a good light . . . be it one of the living Colby's friends or relatives . . . had probably left now there was no longer reason to stay in that miserable old house.

Now Colby's victims, those who had been trapped in their killer's souvenirs, were in charge.

It wasn't _all_ of them. So far as Ethan could tell, _only_ hundreds. Ethan could see now the disembodied souls, travelling white streams of light, streaming of the miscellanea in the attic. A frantic couple of glances at Benny and Rory proved that Ethan was the only one to see what was going on. And Ethan could barely talk in his fright.

Was this worse than being held a thousand feet in the air? Who asked questions like that? Being held by hundreds of probably very angry ghosts . . . being held by a few vampires about to drop you? Who could decide . . . right now?

What did Benny and Rory see? Well, they soon saw some of the items . . . a hat, a necktie, a scarf, a laptop bag, a purse, and several watches float in midair. What had happened? Well, the sprits imprisoned were claiming their property and erstwhile jails.

And in front, was a long pearl necklace.

"This place is haunted!" said Benny.

"Naa . . . really, Benny!" Ethan exclaimed frantically. "There are hundreds of them! All Colby's victims! They were stuck . . . until now!"

"That's cool" said Rory. "They can move on and up."

"Ghosts _never_ take time to think logically!" cried Ethan, turning to Rory. "Dude, when has that ever worked! Girl in mirror . . . demon at my house . . . Coach Ed!"

Every section of hallway was filled with the ghosts. Too many for Ethan to count. A few university students of recent years, with laptop bags. A bespectacled brunette girl from the sixties, with the portable typewriter. A businessman or two with suits and tie. Well-dressed travellers with luggage. And _at least_ a hundred blonde girls, usually in short skirts but of all walks of life and all looking murderous themselves.

Up front were four of the oldest there. Colby hadn't graduated to blondes yet. Three were empty-eyed young men, two in fedora and suit, another in tie and blazer. They were strangely bruised and battered.

In front, was the girl Laura. The one whom Colby had dated, driven in his roaster, and had subjected him to a ukelele-destroying-whack-on-the-head.

Laura hadn't any pupils either. Still, she managed to give Ethan an icy look, and nodded to one of the pupil-less, un-dead young men at her side.

The one in the blazer adjusted his tie, stepped forward and introduced himself. Ethan's eyes watched the ghost teen fearfully . . . for that bruised phantom spoke without moving a ectoplasmic muscle on his pallid ectoplasmic face or a blink of hollow ectoplasmic eyes.

The fact that the ghost's ectoplasmic hair was matted with his ectoplasmic blood put things at their ectoplasmic worst.

"Arthur Killins" explained the teen in the blazer. "We three were Colby's closest friends. Even under Jesse's thumb, it took a few months for him to be completely depraved. If we had known . . . well, back in '29, you didn't stick your neck out for pals . . . especially if his father had lost your family a lot of money in market. We had been a few of Colby's closest friends before the crash . . . the stock market crash. Some months after becoming a vampire, Colby had the idea to sell his former friends on being un-dead. Jesse let him, probably guessing what would happen and what we would say. So, we went along on a trip to New York with Colby while he explained . . . and _demonstrated_. We, of course, refused . . . so Colby went to Plan B. He crashed the car and killed us. Then he took our blood and his souvenirs. This is my school tie."

"Can those two see us?" demanded Laura, pointing to Benny and Rory.

She didn't move her lips neither.

"No . . . no, they can't" said Ethan.

Laura looked to the two teens in the fedoras. The two duly put their icy dead hands on the shoulders of Ethan's living pals. And this time, neither Benny nor Rory could help themselves. They didn't give a proper yell. They screamed as the bloody, pupil-less ghosts suddenly appeared at their sides, and the vast crowd of spirits came into view.

Even Benny wasn't cool enough to take the appearance of the blondes in the background as much of consolation, with those old and very angry spirits in front. Although, under ordinary circumstances, Laura was _hot_ , the long-dead flapper was terrifying now.

"I am the late, lamented Laura Powers" said she. "Colby told me he unexpectedly came into what an inheritance, thereby saving his home and fortune. You needn't guess how _I_ died?"

"No . . . we know" said Benny fearfully.

"We're released" continued Laura. "That's all very good. But why have you locked the doors and barred Colby and his friends from meeting their end at our hands?"

"We didn't know anyone was here" said Ethan.

"Anything?" put in Benny uncertainly.

Benny was conscious of many glowering eyes.

"Anyone" said Ethan hastily. "He means anyone."

"Sylvester?" said Laura.

"Sylvester?!" echoed Benny. "What the heck kind of name is that?"

The austere, blood-splattered ghost with the grip on Benny's shoulder _also_ spoke without moving his lips. This one had the old high-brow Canadian accent, but spoke with a hoarse voice. As if he had been shouting for help when he died. Shouting himself hoarse ever-after.

"Sylvester Gainsborough III" he said, and Benny was again shook up. "Why are you protecting Colby? Do you have idea how many people those vampires have killed over the years? Do you know what a fella _becomes_ when he signs up as to be a vampire?"

"Colby's as dead as you are now" Benny objected. "Not un-dead, but dead. We got him with our Jedi light sabres."

A few of the "younger" ghosts in the background looked intrigued, but Sylvester Gainsborough III asked what was a "Jed-eye" was as he tightened his icy grip.

Rory pulled his sabre out and irresponsibly passed it the ghost holding him prisoner.

"These are awesome" he said. "Benny and Ethan invented it. I couldn't use one until just a couple months ago, but you see they're made of ultra-violet tanning bed lights and they kill vamps good and dead because they can't take too much UV rays."

"They're alright" said the other ghost in the fedora, who while not moving his lips to talk or even blinking his pupil-less eyes, did at least take off his hat to scratch his head. A head that was badly _dented_ in his fatal collision.

"But why are they called Jed-eye sabres?" that ghost asked, as he gave it back to Rory.

"Because the Jedi use them . . . in the Galactic Republic in a galaxy far, far away" said Rory.

This confused the ghosts for a moment.

"Tim, think the comic strips and serials" replied Arthur. " _Amazing Stories. Buck Rogers in the 25th Century. War of the Worlds_. They're still young enough for that sort of kids' stuff."

"Put your hat back on, Tim" said Sylvester Gainsborough III, relaxing his grip on Benny. "We look bad enough without showing off our bashed-in skulls."

"The movies with the Jedi were called _Star Wars_ , guys" said Benny, who was starting to hope the ghosts weren't all angry. "And they aren't just kid's stuff. I don't know what sci-fi was like when you were alive, but _everybody_ knows _Star Wars_."

But Laura wasn't convinced of the trio's intentions. And she didn't care about _Star Wars_ one way or the other.

"Don't let them fool you, fellas" she said. "You and I've been locked up a long, long time. Why would these three be wandering around a vampire's house if they weren't confederates?"

At once, Ethan, Benny and Rory gave long and garbled explanations of their hopes to lock out Harlow and Gus. It didn't sound too convincing.

At a signal from Laura, Sylvester, Tim and Arthur shouted "Shut UP!"

Anyone who hasn't been ordered to shut up by the spectres of three dead teenagers can't possibly know how frightening that is.

"As I see it" Laura said, "before we move on we must ensure that this house of horrors ends here. And that includes any of Colby's supporters. Like these three."

"Have you ever got the wrong idea" Ethan objected. "We've been trying to get rid of these vamps. It's because of us Colby's dead!

"Can they be believed?" asked a blonde in a swimsuit and life preserver, from way down the hall.

"We'll take care of this" said Laura. "We'll need you to take the downstairs windows and doors. For when the other vampires return."

Rory breathed a sigh of relief. Even though Laura and the pupil-less teens were still around, the rest of the ghosts vanished into moving white lights and left to other parts of the house.

Ethan, however, felt his throat tighten up. Unless he could convince these ghosts, especially Laura, that Team Sabre minus Sarah were the good guys, _they were all done for_.

Benny was even more frightened than Ethan. How was it that these four had control over all the other ghosts . . . or leastways how was it that Colby's other victims listened to them without objection? Benny suddenly remembered something from his spell book, something his Grandmother Evelyn had taught him. _Something even Ethan didn't know or didn't realize_. These were no ordinary ghosts . . . .

"These are Colby's confederates" said Laura. "I'm sure of it. Why else would they be here? Haven't we heard enough? Well, fellas!"

"There is only one thing to do with a murderer" observed Sylvester. The penalty under the law. You will be taken to the place of execution and there hanged by the neck until you are dead. There's a handy oak tree out back, overlooking the ravine"

Ethan, Benny and Rory's eyes focussed on the dead Arthur. He was holding a hangman's noose.

And now all four of the ghosts' eyes began to glow a fluorescent green. Which was, at least, different than the bloodsucker's yellow. But now Benny was sure he knew what was going on.

"Harlow tries to impale us" Rory cried out frantically. "Then he wants to splat us. Now you want to hang us! Dudes, really bogus! really gnarly! Really, really uncool guys!"

"You're making a big mistake" insisted Ethan.

"If we're making a mistake" said Tim, "it won't be so bad. If you've lived a good life, you have nothing to fear."

"Besides, hanging works fast as lightning" said Sylvester. "I slowly died, pinned under Colby's 1930 _Viking_. You wouldn't believe how long it seemed. We'll make it quick."

Ethan was astounded by their casualness . . . but he supposed it made sense to them. They'd been dead and trapped so long they didn't realize what they were saying.

"You need to think back to when you were killed" Ethan tried. "You wouldn't have wanted to die before your time. And you wouldn't have just shrugged it off."

"They're ghouls" Benny finally said. "Or they've been slowly turning into ghouls over the years.

The ghouls' eyes went from green to their ordinary vacant state. Laura's stared angrily, which was no mean feat without pupils.

"Who are you calling a graverobber?" she asked.

"Who's a ghoul?" objected Tim. "I've never even been able to visit my grave, let alone be able to . . . or want to . . .steal from it or other people's."

"Man!" said Benny. "Not that type of ghoul.

"Could they be good ghouls?" asked Rory.

Benny explained to the group that certain evil spirits feed on the corpses of the dead, dark energy in the environment or ectoplasmic energy from other ghosts. Ghouls were a combination of zombie, skeleton and ghost.

"You guys look _exactly_ like you did the moment you died" Benny explained to the ghouls. "You don't even have pupils in your eyes. You don't move your lips when you talk. You're _way_ more powerful than ghosts. And you can make us see you . . . you can even be as solid as if you're alive if you want to."

"You four were the first victims trapped here" said Ethan, awkwardly. "I guess you've been picking up the energy. By accident."

The four ghouls would have looked concerned, if they could. But they merely looked at one another with their vacant eyeballs.

"Does this mean we don't get to move on?" asked Arthur.

"Not as ghouls" said Benny. "But it's easy to go back to being ghosts. You just let the ectoplasm drain. In a way you're just amped up ghosts. It's usually due to _serious_ black magic or a _seriously_ evil attitude that ghouls become ghouls."

"It's not their fault they've been stuck in a bloodsucker's house" said Rory.

"Because ghouls are usually willing parasites, like vampires, they don't let their energy drain" Benny explained, awkwardly giving _what_ he was explaining and to whom he was explaining it. "But as soon as your friends leave . . . and if you don't try to feed on us . . . you'll go back to normal. I mean, I'm, uh, sorry, just plain dead. But you're not cursed . . . you're just, uh, dead. It's . . . er . . . natural to be dead, not evil.

"Don't tell them that feeding on us is an option!" hissed Ethan.

The ghouls looked at one another again.

"We'll have a meeting" Laura told the three (living) friends.

The ghouls went into a huddle, leaving Ethan, Benny and Rory glued to the wall. Finally, the one named Sylvester Gainsborough III disappeared down the stairs.

"We've decided our friends may as well move on now" said Laura. "Irregardless of whether what you say is true, there's no reason to hold everybody here any longer. We do appear to have the power to deal with Colby and his un-dead friends . . . or only his friends, if Colby is dead."

"As for you" said Tim. "We'll hold onto you for a while longer. It couldn't hurt . . . ."

The ghoul was interrupted by a crash outside.

Ethan, Benny and Rory were let down with a thump as the ghouls floated to the nearest window.

Oddly enough, the ghouls needed to open the window to see out the rain-drenched glass panes and beyond the reflection from the electric lights. If Ethan hadn't fallen so awkwardly, he might have been pleased to know that at least some scientific rules still held firm, even when things were at their weirdest!

Rory, ever curious, ran after the dead trio without thinking. What was that crash?

"Dude, don't run after the ghouls!" said Benny, running after Rory _and_ the ghouls.

Ethan had fallen directly onto his back. He groaned as he was helped up. Ethan groaned again when he realized that it was by Sylvester Gainsborough III. But Ethan ran alongside the battered apparition to the window as well.

It was a funny thing. Harlow and Gus couldn't stop a Cadillac DTS at full throttle, but they could roll a stationary one onto its roof, totalling it. Not to mention breaking in through the car windows and deactivating the car alarm.

The fact that Gus was drenched in the renewed storm didn't surprise Ethan as much as it might. But Ethan was astonished to see that Harlow was bedecked in an old school . . . a really, really old school . . . metal helmet, great coat, breastplate, sword and scabbard.

"SEER!" bellowed Harlow. "SPELL-MASTER! TRAITOR to THE VAMPIRE COUNCIL! Come out and fight like men!"

"OR else we'll just have to burn down the house with you in it" added Gus. "It's the only way to operate."


	27. Widow's Walk and Witch's Hat

**Widow's Walk and Witch's Hat**

Harlow was furious at being outmanoeuvred yet again. And, like many a person forced to recognize their own shortcomings, Harlow chose to blame someone else. Gus for failing to locate the geeks as they escaped the condominium.

Harlow had duly stolen a suit of cavalier armour from the _Royal Ontario Museum_. This had been child's play, as a vampire has the strength to twist a deadbolt off a door. With super-speed he needn't have worried about the alarm or any museum guards. In fact, Harlow was slightly disappointed he hadn't run into them.

In contacting Gus, Harlow was at first apoplectic that his enemies had yet again escaped. This time, with a car at their disposal, there wasn't even the slimmest chance of locating them at the Wilson Subway Station. Harlow's vengeance for the loss of Whitechapel and the demise of Anastasia had seemed forever foiled!

And the humiliation of losing what, Harlow admitted to himself, was despite Colby's eccentricities, a rather good henchman.

Nevertheless, Harlow was partly consoled by the fact though he couldn't track the geeks, the trio were likewise unable to find him or the new vampire headquarters either. Harlow's plans could go on ahead, without intrusion by three precocious youths. Or, to be specific, one precocious youth with seeing abilities, his loud spell-master friend and an overly animated ex-rat-biter pal.

But then Harlow had the indignity of burning his hand on the front door of what he called the _Toronto Vampire Council building! Imagine!_ Rory's chagrin at not being able to go into his own house, without ensuring his standing invitation, was _nothing_ compared to Harlow's fury. It was only the fact that Team Sabre minus Sarah was un-safely in the attic by that time that they didn't hear Harlow's roar of indignation.

The seer and his friend has found Colby's house! They had dared lock Harlow out! Just when he had finally made the place half-way suitable for its new purposes! And installed _what was left_ of the Whitechapel Vampire Council's possessions and library . . . that which had been carried out before Vice President Stern seized the building. And blew it up.

Of course, the top storey of Flood House was set aside for that bizarre obsession of Colby's, but that didn't matter as "the garret" was merely servants quarters. Although Harlow was _vaguely_ aware of the dangers that angry spirits or the trapped souls of innocent victims posed to vampires . . . he naturally concluded that if there was a peril it would have rebounded on Colby years before.

The rest of the manor made up for the useless third storey by its being excellently maintained and filled with antiques. Once the remaining Flood memorabilia had been removed, it would have been perfect. And most of the Flood furniture was suitable, after all it was _antique_. At least until more palatial headquarters and bric-a-brac were available and obtainable.

* * *

In the "useless third storey", Benny felt like mocking the vampires.

"They can't do that" Benny said. "They've got to be invited . . . there's no way around it."

"Really, pal?" asked Ethan. "They can't start a fire?"

"Awesome!" said Rory, who felt like sticking out his tongue at the vamps . . . but even Rory figured that it _might_ be too juvenile.

"No fracking way" Benny said, ". . . but . . . uh, maybe. I don't know."

"Let . . . them . . . in" ordered Laura.

"Why?" asked Ethan.

"So we can deal with them ourselves" said Arthur. "But you might want to try the door on the cupola, to the widow's walk. As fast as they can go, that spiral staircase ought to slow them down enough to be staked."

The four ghouls pulled off pieces of mouldy moulding as stakes. As easily as if they were pulling up matchsticks. Benny and Ethan observed this with some trepidation. Rory just thought it looked cool.

"Wait a second, _if_ you invite them in" asked Sylvester Gainsborough III, "can they only come through the door you invite them in through . . . or can they come in anyway they want?"

Ethan and Benny looked towards Rory before they could think better of it; it might not be a good idea for the ghouls to know Rory had spent nearly two years as a vampire, albeit a good one! As for Rory, he looked toward Ethan, because he figured Ethan would know the answer.

"Why would he know?" asked Laura, pointing to Rory.

"I'm not a vampire" Rory said, unprompted.

"Get a mirror" Laura ordered Tim.

* * *

The ghoul obliged, and was back with a mirror from Colby's collection.

"Colby took this from a girl he murdered in the June of 1970" Tim explained. "Luckily, she was able to move on right away."

"You guys are sure loads of fun" Benny said sarcastically.

How much more of this could anyone take!

Rory having proved he had a reflection (and Benny and Ethan proving likewise), Rory took out his camera and took a picture to further prove his point (something that Arthur was amazed with "It takes colour pictures?" "What kind of film does it use?"). The photography lesson was interrupted by Harlow, again bellowing from the lawn outside.

"DO YOU HEAR ME, YOU MEEK, PATHETIC, MILKSOPS!" said Harlow. "When will you fight . . . direct?"

"They can't call you milksops" said Tim, outraged on the three's behalf.

"I've been called a geek since kindergarten" said Ethan with a shrug. "Meek, pathetic milksop isn't cool, but it's not so bad."

"Why would anyone say you were a geek?" asked Laura. "Don't you realize what that is?"

"Of course we do" said Rory, proudly. "It means we like cool stuff like sci-fi, and we're also awesome-smart."

"No" said Sylvester Gainsborough III looking at Rory disbelievingly (leastways he would have, had he any pupils in his eyes), "it means you're a Carny who works in a freak show, doing things like biting off the heads of live chickens."

"HUH?" said Ethan, Benny and Rory.

"The definition might have changed since our time" admitted Sylvester Gainsborough.

"Vanish" ordered Laura abruptly. "They can't see us here."

The ghouls duly disappeared.

"What the heck?" said Rory.

"Look behind you" said Ethan . . . as bravely as he could.

Rory turned around to see an enraged Harlow outside the window, with sword drawn. Rory jumped in fright.

"DO YOU HEAR ME!" repeated Harlow, eyes glowing yellow under his 17th century helmet. "MILKSOPS, MILQUETOASTS . . . GEEKS"

"Alright Harlow" said Ethan, suppressing a quaver in his voice. "We'll meet you at the door to the roof, under that turret shaped like a witch's hat."

"And Gus?" said Harlow. "Or are you going to attempt . . . again . . . to fight three-on-one."

"Dude" said Benny indignantly. "Fighting a vampire doesn't count as three-on-one."

"We'll meet you and Gus at the door" said Ethan, careful not to invite them in . . . yet.

"I'll give you five minutes" said Harlow. "You're just fortunate I want the building and its contents intact."

"Tell your buddy Gus I burnt his perverted cookbook" Benny added.

"WHY YOU . . . ." started Gus from somewhere out of sight.

But the three didn't hear the rest. The window closed with a slam.

"Does he want the mansion intact" asked Laura, who reappeared the second the window slammed. "Or is it that he just can't set it on fire?"

Ethan shrugged and looked at Benny.

"I still don't know, pal" said Benny. "But if he does, we can _probably_ get out in time.

"It's storming out, so Harlow's gonna need a lot of gasoline to set a good blaze" suggested Rory, only to find everybody, alive or dead, glaring at him over that.

And being glared at by apparitions with vacant eyeballs is very unsettling.

"We can guard the lower part of the house" suggested Tim, "just in case they try to get in that way."

"And you three can use your Jed-eye light sabres to counter Harlow's sword, though the door leading out the cupola" said Laura.

* * *

There wasn't much time, if they wanted to meet Harlow's _deadline_. Ethan, Benny and Rory left the ghouls to haunt the lower storeys while they went up the creaking spiral stairs to the cupola on the roof. The conical roof of the cupola was open to the stairs below, and a small chandelier hung from the pinnacle, coloured a burnished black. On the outside, it looked like a colossal witch's hat, with a grandly painted french door.

The lightning was back, lighting up the outside so bright that the trio were forced blink from the effect. And up here, the rain and thundering were deafening.

This was the door Ethan had recently locked. A creaking door, heavy enough to be the front door of an ordinary house. The widow's walk didn't cover the whole roof, nor did it cover a small area around the cupola. It travelled in a railed perimeter around the house's mansard roof, marking the boundary between the steeply sloped roof about the third story, and it's gently sloped apex punctuated by four or five chimneys.

The three drew their light sabres and crowded the doorway. Ethan took a deep breath . . . this was it! He opened the door, seeing nothing and nobody. For an instant. Then there came Harlow, his sword in his scabbard.

"Shall thee grant thy invitation?" said Harlow, with a smirk. "Or wilt thou surely combust in ye fire my ally wilt ignite."

Ethan just rolled his eyes.

Rory thought through the translation . . . "Let me in or Gus'll set the house on fire and you'll burn to death."

Benny was direct.

"Dude, don't try to impress us with that ye olde English-Shakespeare garbage" Benny objected.

"Okay, Harlow" said Ethan, taking a deep breath. "You and Gus can come in."

Team Sabre minus Sarah had their light sabres drawn, and Benny had a couple spells in mind. But Harlow was too quick for them. Safely within his metal breastplate, he rushed past them at vampire super speed barrelling them to the sides of the witch's hat and nearly bowling the three down the stairs.

Rory drew his ultraviolet-tanning-bed-light-sabre the fastest, only to have it cut to pieces by a genuine sword. An instant later Benny and Ethan's sabre blades met the same fate.

"Run!" cried Ethan, as he and the others put the now useless sabre-handles back in their scabbards.

Ethan, Rory and Benny ran. Benny didn't try to use his magic powers . . . in the time it would take him to say anything, he would have been sliced in half.

* * *

The widow's walk wasn't as well maintained as the rest of the Flood's house. The floorboards were uneven and even the balustrade was rickety. But Benny and Rory went out in opposite directions, trying desperately not to slip off the wet boards. As for Harlow, he merely hovered into the air smirking as he finally had his quarry trapped.

Quickly, Harlow dodged a lightning-rod falling from the top of the conicular roof. It was a small metal spike connected to a rather rotten white stake. It had been knocked down by Ethan.

Geek though he was, Ethan had climbed trees as a kid. The irregular and crumbling mortar atop the tower had made it not too difficult to climb up. But Ethan was terrified. Of course, he had the vampire after him. But he also about four-stories up, in a thunderstorm and drenched.

Ethan hadn't seen much chance for escape . . . or even a fight, aside from grabbing one of the balustrades as a stake . . . which he doubted he had the strength to do.

The lightning-rod stake had been his only hope. And he had blown it.

"ETHAN!" yelled Benny from across the roof. " _Glass'm indelible indestructible . . . Ethan_ "

This was Benny's new protection spell. And none too good. Immediately Ethan was trapped inside an cloudy glass box. It would help for awhile . . . but . . . ."

To add insult to injury, the conical slope meant Ethan slipped to one side of the glass surface and ended up upside-down within his magical glass box atop the cupola.

Harlow landed heavily on the turret.

"I'll kill you later, Rory" said Harlow casually, as he watched his cornered quarry. "And Gus will get you, Benny."

" _Vermis inventus est in Harlow aures vestras_ " said Benny, raising himself to his full height.

An indistinct light travelled to Harlow, who for his part merely casually reflected it with his sword. It bounced off Ethan's glass box, hit a balustrade, bounced on a nearby oak tree and ricocheted back across the roof to hit Rory direct.

"What the frack!" complained Rory, as he frantically hit the sides of his head with his hands.

"Sorry, pal!" said Benny sheepishly. "The worms will be out in _a lot_ less than an hour . . . the spell must of been weakened by its bouncing around so much.

"That'll make it easier for Rory to kill" said Harlow dryly.

"Nuh-uh" said Rory, who, ignoring the first worm or two crawling out of his ears and dropping onto the widow's walk, tried to pull of a piece of the balustrade for a stake. But as Ethan had predicted it was too strongly attached to the rails.

"The ringleader first" observed Harlow, looking at Ethan in his "indelible" glass box. "I promised to leave Benny to Gus . . . when he finally arrives. And, of course, we all know how little a threat your friend Rory poses."

Harlow hit "the magical box" with a sword. The opaque shield immediately began to crack.

Harlow made another hit, as Rory and Benny started to run back to the cupola to save their friend. As best they could, as the boy's faces were white as salt with fright.

Another strike at the box by Harlow, and half the top crumbled.

Benny halted, trying to think of a spell. But what did he have that worked against vampires?

"Rory! Benny! Stand back" said Ethan at once. "And stand on the railings."

"Nothing will stop your end" said Harlow. "Including your clown of a magician."

"Who are you calling a clown?" asked Benny, who looked ridiculous standing on the balustrade.

Harlow ignored him. Upon the pinnacle of the roof, he raised his sword ready to stab Ethan in the heart and end him.

 _ **"BANG!"**_

Standing atop a tower; dressed in a metal helmet, with metal breastplate and metal-clad boots' while holding a steel sword was an incredibly stupid thing to do in the midst of a thunderstorm. And while Benny's magical glass box wasn't "indelible" it sure didn't conduct electricity. The balustrades Rory and Benny were standing on, were disconnected enough from the turret's roof to spare them a serious or even deadly shock.

Where Harlow had been a moment before, was nothing but a bit of burnt shingles.

* * *

Benny and Rory helped Ethan down from the cupola as they went back in through the French door.

"It was something like a miracle" said Benny as he shut the door to the widow's walk.

"He was standing atop a tower dressed in metal" Ethan observed. "It may have been . . . good being stronger than evil. But, my Dad says, the stupidest thing you can do is hold a golf club into the air in the middle of a golf course during a storm. A sword and armour's even worse."

"Is Harlow still alive?" asked Rory, as he continued to drip worms. "I mean . . . un-dead."

"Dude, he was struck by lightning" said Benny. "His dust must have been scattered in the wind by now."

"Electrocution doesn't work" said Rory petulantly. "I mean, I had to bite that heavy-duty power cord because of the Siren. The mad hockey coach put that industrial-strength shock through Sarah. And you tried your lightning spell on Anastasia and it was an epic-fail."

"That's right!" said Benny. "He must be lying in wait . . . ."

"That was Benny's lightning spell" said Ethan, to Benny's annoyance. "Vamps can be burned, that's what being hit by lightning does to a person. Burnt from the inside-out.

"But 70% of _people_ survive lightning strikes" Rory insisted. "We're talking about a bloodsucker."

"That's why we're talking about Harlow being burnt to death" said Ethan.

"It's _Back to the Future_ style power" Benny recognized. "1.2 gigawatts. Ethan's right. The guy's dead."

The three shared a low-five, and wiped off the worms that had fallen on them after crawling out Rory's ears.

Although Rory was sure there was something wrong (aside from the worms), he trusted his pals and he liked _Back to the Future_. Besides, the pain of having worms in your ears was really making him angry.

Rory was even angrier when he was suddenly pushed into the wall by something barrelling at super speed.


	28. Goodbye Gus

**Goodbye Gus**

It was Gus. He had snuck in the front door, as Sylvester Gainsborough III had predicted. The four ghouls had stood-by invisibly as Gus sped into the dusty library, roughly pushed aside the encyclopaedias and reached for the box holding the Wembley British Bulldog Revolver.

At the last second, Arthur appeared in front of Gus and pocketed it.

"Do you know what the souls of a vampire's victims can do?" he asked Gus shortly. "Have you ever ran into this trouble as an expert in the bloodsucker's idea of _haute-cuisine_?

Gus looked around to see himself surrounded by the long dead teenagers.

"How . . .long have you been here?" Gus said, with a sneer.

"We were released from our bonds" said Laura. "By the appearance of Ethan Morgan . . . a seer of extraordinary ethics and ability."

"Do you believe" Gus said oilily "that I will be intimidated by the spectres of a vampire's past dining experiences?"

"You're right-handed?" asked Tim cooly. "Never mind, I can see you are."

That teenage ghoul disappeared and was replaced by a white light. Tim flew though Gus severing his right-arm and crumbling _the arm_ to dust.

Tim reappeared, watching Gus double over with pain and didn't show any emotion.

"We know you played with your food" said Sylvester Gainsborough III icily. "You made a career out of it."

Gus screamed and fled, the ghouls behind. Up through the house, to the attic where Gus expected to find his friend and ally.

* * *

Vampires travelled faster than ghouls, but unlike them couldn't travel through solid objects. When Gus sped up the spiral stairs and crashed into them, Benny and Rory were sent sprawled against the walls of the cupola, with the wind knocked out of them. The one-armed Gus had fallen back down the stairs and was lying flat on his back.

Ethan had been pushed into the door and tripped out into the rain, aside the stake topped by the lightning rod. Ethan grabbed it and went down the spiral stairs, followed by the still panting Benny and Rory.

Gus opened his eyes to see the three geeks standing there above him, beneath the cupola; Ethan with stake in hand.

"Don't . . . don't kill me, please!" he begged.

Ethan hadn't expected this. He had never had a vampire beg for his "life." For a moment he was taken aback, and looked at the equally surprised Benny and Rory. But then Ethan remembered Gus wasn't technically alive and what he was. And Gus wasn't an exception to the "vampires are evil" rule; unlike Sarah, Rory and Erica had been the two years they were under the bloodsucker's curse.

"Did anyone at your vampire restaurant beg you to spare their lives?" asked Ethan coldly, as he held the stake above Gus.

"You . . . were there" said Gus evasively.

"Answer the dude" said Benny.

"Yeah!" echoed Rory, as he shook a couple more worms from his ears.

"All the time" said Gus. "The fear from the adrenaline added to the flavour. If you three would give being an immortal a chance . . . ."

"No way" said Benny.

"Nuh-uh" said Rory.

"Sorry" said Ethan sardonically. "This entree is lean but healthy. He's not interested in bloodsucking . . . neither are any of his friends interested forced into bloodsucking.

"Lean but healthy" said Gus, fearfully remembering when he had said those words, and now realizing that there would be _no_ reprieve for him.

"That's what you told Sarah I was the night we went to your restaurant" said Ethan. "Lean but healthy. I guess you weren't only a restauranteur, but a food critic too."

And without another moment's delay, Ethan staked Gus and let the vampire gourmet burn into ashes before their eyes.

The three boys shared a first bump.

"Way'd it go" said Rory. "But that pleading was as gnarly as these worms-in-my-ears."

"He was a vamp" said Benny defensively, but he too was unnerved by Gus begging for his life.

"I had to remember how evil he was" Ethan said, as he was sweating. "I mean . . . you're killing something that kills innocent people."

"Yeah" said Benny, clapping his hand on Ethan's shoulder. "It's lucky they don't usually . . . . FIRE!"

* * *

In burning up, Gus had done something else the three had also never seen before. He set the wooden flooring and the tonnes of debris in the attic on fire. Before their eyes, boxes and bric-a-brac started to burn. The fire raged across dryrot and ancient wallpaper as they stared helplessly. It was already too late to go down the hall. Ethan, Benny and Rory fled up the spiral staircase which started to burn after them. Out they went from the cupola, onto the widow's walk barely ahead of the flames.

They fled with their shirts covering their mouths, as that toxic smoke wasn't only danger to asthmatic Rory but Benny and Ethan as well.

The three fled across the walk as quickly as they could in the rain, trying to get as far as they could from the fire.

Colby's collection was burning up rapidly, and the rest of the house wouldn't be far behind. The thunderstorm had stopped, but the heavy rain continued leaving Ethan, Benny and Rory to hope the fire would be put out in the storm. But the floorboards beneath them was already getting warm. Steam was rising from the roof in places. And a crash below told them that somewhere the heavily-burdened third storey had fallen onto the second storey in the no longer perfectly preserved home.

The three held onto the balustrades as the roof warped and slanted in response to this violation of the house's integrity. There were some more crashes as the three heard several windows shatter.

"We're not going to survive unless we get off this roof" said Ethan.

"Floating spell coming up, dudes" said Benny, expertly cracking his knuckles.

Ethan and Rory closed their eyes in anticipation of floating haphazardly up in the air.

But before Benny could say anything, the three were lifted off their feet and slowly lowered down and far away from the burning house. Beyond the edge of the property, aside the fence and on the sidewalk along Primrose Path to be exact.

"That was awesome" said Ethan, he and Rory both giving Benny high-fives. "Your Grandmother Evelyn couldn't have done it any better."

"Guys" said Benny sheepishly. "I didn't do anything."

"Then it must have been the . . . ." started Ethan.

"We did it" said Laura.

The four spirits reappeared, but this time there was something different about them. Rory and Benny had to squint to see them, as they were now see-through. But their grisly look at the time they died was gone. Instead, with the major exception that they were transparent, the four looked normal. Their pupils were back and Laura's lips had moved when she spoke.

To Ethan, they weren't even transparent and looked like four nineteen or twenty somethings that had just casually walked down the sidewalk . . . in a rainstorm.

"Look at you guys" said Benny cheerfully, "you're back to being normal-dead. You're no longer ghouls."

"We know" said Sylvester Gainsborough III. "It is ever a relief!"

His voice was no longer hoarse, and was now sounded friendly.

"And we owe it all to you three" said Laura. "Don't let anyone call you milksops, because with what you do that's the last thing to describe you."

"Believe it or not" said Arthur, leaning against a hedge, "we were considered the bees knees in our time. But we'd have run away screaming if we ever ran into ghosts, ghouls or vampires."

"We would have too" Ethan observed. "Just two years ago."

The group heard a crash, and looked towards the burning house. The witch's hat cupola had just fallen down.

"That's the best thing that can happen to the place" said Arthur, with a shrug. "The place died when the market crashed and Old Man Flood shot himself."

"You wouldn't believe how much fun we had as kids in that house" said Tim with a sigh. "I should have begged my father to give Colby a chance. He could have stayed with us."

"He made his bed" said Sylvester Gainsborough III. "It's sad, but he made his choice. Colby's sister and the chauffer lived a full life and none too bad. Children and grandchildren. That's more than I can say for Colby. Or for us."

"Maybe Benny can bring you back to life" volunteered Rory abruptly, as he continued to shake worms from his ears. "Benny's grandma . . . his grandma in Whitechapel . . . has this potion to bring things back from the dead."

"No fracking way" Ethan objected. "Don't you remember what happened? Those animals brought back from the dead got possessed by demons."

"It could work" said Benny carefully. "Those animals' souls had moved on. These guys souls are right here. All we have to do is find where they're buried, bring them back to life. Oh yeah, and then we have to take them to Whitechapel to get their dark energy drained in case they come back as vampires."

"Calm down, fellas" said Laura. "We're not interested."

She was echoed by the three other ghosts.

"But thanks anyways" said Tim. "When you're dead . . . you know it's time to move on."

"You'll understand what we mean someday" said Sylvester Gainsborough III. "And I hope it isn't for a _long_ time. Hey, do you guys mind if we shake hands? This fist-bump and low-five thing is foreign to us?"

Ethan, Benny and Rory duly shook hands with the spirits of the three young men, who promptly disappeared after saying a last goodbye.

* * *

For her part, Laura kissed the three boys on the cheeks before she left. Benny and Rory were each okay with it, even with her being a ghost and all!

Ethan hesitated. Laura assured Ethan that Sarah wouldn't mind.

"How do you know about Sarah?" he asked.

"You know a lot when it's time to move on" said Laura. "And, in a way, I'm very happy it took so long. I learned never, ever to dismiss people as riff-raff. Goodbye!"

And with that, she too was gone.

* * *

Ethan, Benny and Rory decided that they needed to get out of the area . . . fast. A vacant, burning house suggested arson and the three couldn't say the fire was set by a dead vampire. They weren't too far from the Rosedale Subway Station, and that's where they headed.

It was past three o'clock in the morning, the last worm had dropped out of Rory's ear, and now the three were in a great mood knowing they had conquered the three vamps and their plans to make Toronto home of a new vampire council.

* * *

They were wrong. Harlow had merely been blasted off the tower by the shock of the lightning bolt. He had fallen into the ravine at the edge of the property and been temporarily knocked out by the crash. Rory, of all people, was right. Vampires couldn't be electrocuted.

Ethan and Benny had managed to get their "geekdoms" mixed up. A mistake Rory had narrowly avoided, only through remembrance of his sucky time as a vamp. Vampires didn't follow the logical scientific rules that . . . as math and science geeks . . . Ethan, Benny and Rory loved. Supernatural, natural and sci-fi were three different things.

And with Harlow, they still had an angry and powerful vampire on their trail. And Harlow knew that his enemies would be taking the subway.


	29. The Procrastinator

**The Procrastinator**

* * *

 **Author's Note**

This chapter was already partially completed when the Canadian media reported on a despicable murder in the Toronto subway system. As most of the action in this chapter takes place at a subway station very near where the murder occurred, I considered delaying posting by a couple weeks or deleting most of this chapter altogether.

In the end I decided I was overreacting to what in the end is a story quietly posted online. If I am wrong in concluding this, please believe I'm sorry if I have offended anybody with this most recent chapter.

I thank everyone who has read and hopefully enjoyed the story so far!

* * *

Even a committed sci-fi fan, even a mature sixteen-year-old (or almost-sixteen-year-old, in Rory's case), even a monster-hunting charter member of Team Sabre, hates to leave a fire-in-progress! To see the fire-trucks, to see the hoses connected to the hydrants, to see the firefighters valiantly try to save the burning house. And, of course, some of the firefighters even went so far as to enter the burning building and see if there was anyone alive . . . not knowing that the people who had recently lived there hadn't been alive for many a year.

The firefighters, of course, didn't find anyone. They had to soon evacuate, what was left of the top stories were at risk of falling through to the basement floor. Even the so-recently wet roof was burning steadily now; and it was apparent there would be nothing left of the old mansion but ruins. Funny to say, it had been a neighbour's call that alerted the firefighters and not any house alarm. That was the one thing Colby had neglected in his studious upkeep of the family home.

That delay was a key reason why the light and smoke from the fire could be seen across the whole neighbourhood; from the Don Valley on the east to the subway line in the west.

* * *

The Rosedale Subway Station had opened with the original Yonge subway line in 1954, but it was one of the least used in the system. The people in that wealthy neighbourhood typically didn't bother with public transit; nor did the station have connections to major bus routes. Built in a ravine, and this early in the morning, the open-air station had more of the feel of a small town railroad station. Only the double platforms, the electrified high-voltage third rail of the track, and the pedestrian bridges across the subway tracks suggested they were actually in Canada's largest city.

So early in the morning, it was a bit of a wait for the train that would come from the north, go downtown and turn north again on the trip to Wilson, on the U-shaped Yonge-University line. An entire fifteen minutes, but even that was "awesome-lucky" (or so said Benny) as the fact the subway even ran this time of night was due to a summer pilot project.

* * *

Ethan, Benny and Rory were cheerful that their night of terror, failure at the Bank of Hamilton, and last few days battles seemed all over. Their troubles were slipping into the background.

Besides thinking wistfully about watching the fire, Benny had been considering what he would tell his mother. Benny decided to lock his phone, then claim he couldn't get her calls because it was locked. He'd say the rainstorm delayed them; _and_ they had an invitation to meet Single Tear. _That_ was true . . . sort of. Would she believe him? Yes . . . _maybe_?

Should Benny tell his mom the truth? How would Benny's mom feel if she knew her son spent the night battling vampires, held a thousand feet in the air, nearly hanged by confused ghosts, running around atop a burning house . . . . Would she be proud, like his grandma . . . that is to say his Grandma Evelyn? Or would Benny's mom just freak out?

"Freak Out" said Benny under his breath.

That was as good a reason to lie as any.

Rory was looking at his cool photos. Rory noticed that, before they moved on, the ghosts had taken a group shot with Team Sabre minus Sarah. Just outside the grounds, with the burning house deep in the background. Aside from the ghosts' old-fashioned clothes, they looked normal and alive. That was awesome! And those two ghosts in the fedoras . . . Sylvester Gainborough and Tim . . . were standing on Rory's sides. Rory was _so cool_ he even impressed the dead! He'd definitely be emailing copies to Benny and Ethan. Sarah of course, maybe Erica if he ever discovered her email address.

It was just too bad Rory was missing the fire! Rory could hear the fire sirens as more trucks drove by! It must have been at least a three-alarm blaze! Unfair! Rory hadn't gotten the close-up view of the lucifractor explosion like Ethan and Benny did. It would have been awesome to be there right with them and . . . and . . . .

Heck, he couldn't have been _right_ there and seen it, could he?

Rory remembered that if he had, he would have been knocked out like Sarah . . . and not come to until the dark energy had well and left his system and he was back to his good old human self. Rory instead had his dark energy slowly drained, and that bloodsucker's curse starved in an even ten minutes time. Rory would have missed seeing everything! As terrifying-gross as the aging and oozing death of Anastasia and Jesse was he wouldn't have been left out of that for anything. Rory even had his picture taken right there . . . his first photo in two years. Actually, one year nine months. And that was one year nine months too many.

It was as awesome the way it was! And just escaping the burning house . . . that was cool enough for Rory! There'd be other fires!

Ethan was easily the most mature of the three boys, but even he looked regretfully at the nearby glow in the sky and the still rising smoke. Sure, the three had barely escaped the fire! But what a fire! Sometimes, though, a guy has to do what he has to do! It just wasn't worth answering a lot of questions if they were caught on site.

Well, once the three got back to Benny's grandmother . . . and finally had some sleep . . . they could go back on their cool vacation. Canada's Wonderland was probably next! An amusement park would be an awesome way to celebrate their victory over the bloodsuckers! No, _first_ Ethan would call _Sarah_. Wouldn't she be amazed, impressed, even awestruck the three geeks managed to defeat three major vampire _bosses_ . . . without her?

"Bosses", because in Ethan's mind, Colby, Harlow and Gus no longer were James Bond's nemeses . . . "Double-O-Ethan" had been an epic fail. Instead the three bloodsuckers reminded him of video game villains and levels!

It was just too bad Ethan didn't know the last boss level was yet to come. And what mental and physical strain he'd face before the dawn.

* * *

Harlow had wasted precious time unconscious, and even more time finding his sword. _Then_ Harlow wrongly concluded his three targets had tried to escape via the Castle Frank Station well to the south. Harlow's failure to find them there at first rattled him, he thought the trio had well and truly escaped; had without consequence destroying Harlow's friends, _another_ vampire council chambers _and_ all that was left of Anastasia's collection of vampire lore and knowledge.

All Harlow had left were the museum clothes on his back. But he couldn't shrink away in disgrace! He had to find and destroy his enemies to save a semblance of his respect and position.

Harlow realized his enemies may be precocious, but still yet boys. Modern boys brought up with an array of gadgetry and spoiled by comforts unheard of even a mere century before. Modern boys accustomed to a seemingly ordered and scientific world. Modern boys who would have been overly impressed by a _mere_ strike of lightning. They wouldn't be taking precautions any longer; they would think Harlow not _un_ -dead but _true_ -dead!

There was a chance Harlow's quarry would be hopelessly exposed at the Rosedale Subway Station. And that was where Harlow would search next!

* * *

The dead travel fast, so as the rainstorm ended Harlow flew over the Rosedale Station and spotted his prey as a hawk spots a mouse. The three were on a bench alongside the wall and undercover, so the swoop-down approach wouldn't work. It was just as well, Harlow would have a word with the miscreants before he killed them.

It was again with the villainous bragging! It hard for an old vampire to change his ways after so many years. And Harlow was far too proud . . . and so enraged his eyes now consistently glowed yellow.

Harlow landed heavily on the platform. Ethan, who had been relaxing with his hands behind his head, stared straight in terror. Benny's arm limply lowered his smartphone. Rory came very close to fumbling his camera.

The colour drained from the three living boy's faces, and Harlow could hear their pulses quicken in their surprise and terror.

Benny and Rory put away their phone and camera respectively while Ethan dropped his arms. At once the three jumped up with their light sabres. Their light sabres without blades. Harlow had sliced the sabres with his sword, the stubs of the retractable blades wouldn't even light.

"Whatever you do" Ethan reminded his friends nervously, "Don't look into his eyes."

"Oh yeah, vampire hypnotism" Rory said.

"It is called glamouring!" corrected Harlow icily. "And I have you in front of me! I needn't waste those powers on you now . . . and, of course, I want you to _suffer_."

Stunned, the three cowered against the station wall. Of course, they could have been speared right off by Harlow's sword. But Harlow continued to brag . . . .

"Trapped like rats" said Harlow, with satisfaction. "You thought I was dead? I do suppose you burned Gus? Very ironic given his preferred method for obscuring his movements!"

"You were just struck with 1.2. gigawatts of electricity" Benny complained.

"Do you think a vampire can be killed by a _mere electrical charge_!" asked Harlow, with an evil leer. "My, my, you have had such awful teachers!"

"Dude, are you insulting my Grandma Evelyn?" said Benny, spiritedly yet a bit tremulously all the same.

"B-Benny's grandma is awesome" added Rory.

"It's such a shame that she will soon be in mourning" said Harlow contemptuously. "But I have long lost count of how many mothers and grandmothers, fathers and grandfathers, I have placed in mourning."

Benny, realizing it was up to him, again tried his fireball spell. But it appeared he still couldn't master it.

Harlow laughed.

"There's cameras here, Benny" said Ethan nervously. "We would have been in trouble anyways."

In an instant, Ethan, Benny and Rory could see the broken security cameras falling on both platforms. Harlow had used his sword and super-speed to destroy them in a blink of an eye.

"Whoa! H-he's fast" Rory observed.

"Will you care to hear your _new_ death sentence?" Harlow grinned. "For treasonous activities against two duly constituted vampire councils."

"Again with the death sentences" groaned Ethan.

Rory felt like slumping to the floor. Not only was the caffeine starting to wear off, but . . . hanging . . . splatting . . . impaling . . . draining . . . burning . . . all in the last few days!

But Benny wasn't going to let this go without an argument . . . .

"Dude, that's a load of _crap_!" said Benny angrily. "There weren't _two_ vampire councils. You never managed to start up the Toronto one."

"Insignificant" sneered Harlow. " _Ex post facto_ , I declare it had been duly constituted. For your crimes, I find destruction by electro . . . electro . . . ." Harlow hesitated as he tried to remember the word, "Electrocution! Being struck by lightning isn't fatal but it was inconvenient and quite painful _to me_. So electrocution for you! And don't think you can forestall your demise by again by crowing about the burial of your _mortal_ remains! You first, Ethan!"

Without another moment's notice, Harlow grabbed Ethan by the neck. And, in spite of their fear, in a moment of instinct, Benny and Rory grabbed Ethan by his arms to pull him back. Unfortunately, this didn't stop Harlow from sliding the three teens across the platform.

It did ruin Harlow's throw. He had intended to toss Ethan onto the deadly third rail, electrocuting him while likely breaking every bone in his body to boot. Instead the three _slid off the platform and fell roughly_ onto the tracks.

"Will I never be rid of you three!" screamed Harlow, as he jumped off the platform to stand on a crosstie.

" _Lightning lummite nummow_!" said Benny, aiming a bolt of lightning at Harlow.

A completely ineffective bolt that Harlow bounced off with his sword. Fortunately, the spell didn't again ricochet at Rory; the bolt did hit the wall. Specifically, it hit the "D" on "Rosedale", blasting it off and leaving "Rose ale" . . . which Benny would have found funny at a better time.

"Try again" Harlow sneered at the boys helplessly splayed before him on the tracks.

Benny tried again. But all he could think about was "Rose(d)ale", so . . . .

"Why the frack are you giving him roses?" asked Ethan.

"Are they magic vampire-killing roses?" asked Rory hopefully.

"No, they're my give-a-chick-a-bouquet-of-roses spell" said Benny hopelessly, tossing the roses to one side.

The roses hit the electrified third rail off to the side, making the three boys flinch as the roses instantly burnt in a shower of sparks.

Then they barely dodged a wild swing from Harlow's sword.

"Benny, protective shield!" said Ethan.

" _Glass'm indelible indestructible . . . uh, Benny, Ethan and Rory_ "

A massive cloud that obscured their view.

Benny produced _something_. An enormous . . . _thing_ . . . that the panicked Benny produced this time with irregular sides and crazy angles here and there. Rory found his head above this pink opaque box, and the rest of him inside. Ethan was half in, half out, one foot in and one foot out, and had Harlow's sword in his hand. Benny was completely inside, but _so was Harlow_.

"I can always use my fangs" Harlow told Benny. "Thank you for making it so easy to drain you all."

"TRAIN!" yelled Rory.

Even Rory's terrible night vision, even his sleepy eyes looking through his contacts, couldn't mistake those lights, that rumble, that sound as the train appeared from the distant tunnel with the deadly letters reading "DOWNSVIEW STATION VIA UNION" on the electronic sign in front.

The shudder of the rails made Benny's "indelible" geometric _thing_ collapse into dusty pink powder; a powder that reminded Ethan and Rory very much of _Pepto Bismo_.

No time to climb up off the track! But if they could somehow hop over that third rail . . . .

But now, on the other track, another rumble as the train with the sign reading "FINCH STATION VIA UNION" sped in, it being timed to arrive in Rosedale at the same time as the train headed to Downsview Station.

Could a vampire stop a train? Neither Benny nor Ethan nor Rory knew. Harlow didn't know neither; nor was he was going to give it a try. The vamp flew up in a panic . . . and crashed headlong onto the Southbound Platform.

Benny regretted that his list of memorized spells was so short. But Benny _didn't_ regret using his floating spell for the third time that night. It was incredibly awkward, with no rope Ethan and Rory had to grasp on.

The three teens fell onto the platform opposite Harlow, and scrambled into the last car of the train headed northbound towards Finch. Any train in a storm!

"Benny, dude" panted Rory, out of breath. "I'll never say you suck at magic again! It was gnarly, but it did the job."

"It wasn't any worse than when you lifted me up, Rory, back when you were playing vampire ninja last year" gasped Ethan.

"Uh, yeah" said Rory uncertainly, as "vampire ninja" had lost its appeal.

"Rory" said Benny, reassuringly. " the fact you used one of the bloodsuckers most lethal moves as an innocent game . . . well that explains why our pal Rory had _never_ have any business being a soulless un-dead creature of the night.

"Do you figure Harlow will find us?" asked Rory, as he allowed himself to relax on a chair in the empty car. "Ethan?"

"I hope not" said Ethan, in an understatement. "Benny?"

"You're the seer, Ethan!" Benny exclaimed.

Well, at least their northbound train was off.

As for the "DOWNSVIEW VIA UNION" train, it had stopped short. The driver, under the glare of his headlights, had to his horror seen four three people on the tracks. But they had seemed to disappear! But the driver couldn't go on . . . it was potential lives versus the 3:45 am subway train keeping its schedule.

So, the driver made an announcement and the relative few passengers on the train discovered they'd be late while the Toronto Transit Commission and the police searched the track.

No one had seen Harlow fly off the platform and follow the northbound train into the tunnel.

* * *

The next station was Summerhill. Like Rosedale it was relatively little used, yet had platforms on either side of the double tracks; unlike Rosedale the stop was a white-tiled hole in the ground with tunnels on either end.

Benny, Ethan and Rory, sore and still recovering from their latest run-in, had all come to the same conclusion. Get home, making sure they weren't tailed! Then a quick call to Benny's Grandma Evelyn, wherever she was! There was only so much they could take!

Yet the three would have to take some more. They were surprised by the wrenching off of the emergency door at the back of the car. With a bang it fell uselessly onto the tracks behind.

Harlow walk in as the automatic doors closed, trapping the three with him.

"Where's the driver!" cried Benny.

"He _only_ has a video camera to see what's going on back here" said Ethan, hollowly.

"But . . . but . . . how did Harlow get in?" asked Rory, whose mind had been completely stupefied by the latest development.

"It's a train, not a house" said Ethan hollowly, automatically. "He doesn't need an invitation."

"What if we were in a houseboat?" asked Rory. "Or if you lived in a train car?"

"Rory . . . focus . . . angry bloodsucker!" said Ethan. "Dude, concentrate!"

"Try this Harlow!" interjected Benny, hobbling up, but nearly knocked over as the train moved out of the station.

 _At last, Benny produced his fireball!_ Too bad as Harlow simply slipped aside and let the fireball bounce out the door, out of the car and uselessly along the tracks behind.

"Dude!" said Rory, having re-gathered his wits. "Shield spell!"

This time, shield spell failed altogether. Benny was stuck wiping some useless pink goop from his fingers onto the back of a nearby seat.

"There's one move I've have" said Ethan nervously to his friends.

With a deep breath, Ethan stood up and walked up straight towards Harlow. Or stumbling, as the subway had only just reached full speed.

"What the frack do you think you're doing!" cried Rory, jumping up and nearly toppling over.

Rory looked around frantically for something to stake Harlow, but everything was either plastic, glass or aluminum!

As for Benny, he swore outright. He told Ethan he was crazy in the most colourful language he could think.

Ethan _himself_ wasn't sure whether it would work . . . it _should_.

"Stay back!" said Ethan, a bit unsteadily as his friends looked as if they were about to follow him.

Again, Harlow could hear the frantic pumping of Ethan's victim's heart. And now Harlow allowed himself a fanged smile. In all manners of torture, he was cagey. Though, it was proving he was not so good at capturing his subjects . . . slightly out-of-practice no doubt. But no matter . . . now that Harlow had the three, he _had_ to kill them the best way readily available.

It was too bad that blood-draining wasn't the most painful way to die! Also that a teenage boy's addled blood was usually the least appetizing to a male immortal's pallet. Electrocution was far more interesting! Exquisite even!

 _However_ , if Harlow were to make Ethan _think about being drained_ . . . well, Harlow felt adept at his craft enough to _cultivate_ a reasonable amount of fear in his prey. Perhaps Harlow would drink Ethan's blood after all! Gus and Colby had been favourably impressed by the blood's aroma. _Besides_ , if adrenaline from fear was the best spice . . . then Ethan had been seasoned well to perfection.

And afterwards, Harlow could still electrocute the lifeless body! All the better to terrify Ethan's friends Rory and Benny!

Harlow, grabbing Ethan's arm in such a way as to hold the youth as a shield from any possible attack from Benny . . . _but the subway car suddenly disappeared and Harlow found himself bizarre, purple-clouded no-man's land standing almost face-to-face with Ethan_.

"I'm in your mind" said Ethan tersely. "As long as I'm here, you can't do anything but talk to me."

"I have heard of such things" said Harlow, in awe. "A seer of your power is rare . . . that, at least should ameliorate my embarrassment at suffering such reverses at your hands. Yet you've made a fatal error, Ethan. One I shall take advantage of to the fullest."

"Stop bluffing" said Ethan, smiling as he gained more confidence. "I have you stuck here, helpless. You're as badly off as if you were a movie vampire sleeping in your coffin. It's a no-brainer for Benny and Rory to stake you now."

"If you've noticed, in this age, wooden construction seems to be mainly decorative . . . leastways as trains go" said Harlow, after a moment's thought. "And I sincerely doubt your spellmaster friend's rose stems will do the trick . . . and that is all he can produce. However, I know your friends shan't make a move while I have you in my power."

"You're in my pow . . . ." said Ethan . . . but then he remembered. "Glamouring!"

"Certainly" said Harlow. "You may not be such an unworthy opponent after all, with or even without your seer powers. It is a pity you could never be convinced to be an immortal. You might have made an excellent right-hand man, a useful second-in-command."

"You know what happened to _your_ fangy group in Whitechapel, all because Jesse made Sarah a bloodsucker against her will" Ethan retorted. "Temporarily, it turned out."

"Of course" Harlow went on. "I shall, however, just have to make do with you as you are. A mortal, but one bound to exercise my will. And now, _in here_ , there is no avoiding, no escape from my glamour. And to try to quit your psychic connection now, as you know, will release me and lead to the certain death of you and your friends."

As Harlow's eyes glowed, the purple mist about them turned a luminous yellow.

* * *

And outside that mind-scape, in the real world, in the subway car, Rory and Benny watched Harlow release Ethan.

Their friends' human eyes were glowing in the same shade of yellow as that of the bloodsucker close by his side.


	30. A Vampire's Arrogance

**A Vampire's Arrogance**

Benny and Rory's first fear on seeing Ethan's glowing yellow eyes was that Ethan had been turned into a vampire. The other two teens' own eyes widened in shock.

Benny's first instinct . . . despite his fear . . . was to rush up to Ethan and get his best friend away from Harlow, by any means he could.

Benny stopped short, allowed himself a quick observation, and breathed a sigh of relief. Benny grabbed a pole as he steadied himself against the stopping subway . . . Benny also grabbed Rory's collar at the same time.

Rory had similarly rushed forward . . . but of course Rory was naturally slow to grasp something if using common sense was involved.

"Dude!" said Rory, as he didn't think of his own personal safety, and was _extremely_ angry that Benny had a hold of his collar and now his arm. "LET GO! We've got to save him! He's _your_ best pal. We can't have _Ethan_ being _turned_! Man, you can't make him into something un-dead and evil! We gotta take him back to Whitechapel. IF there's one guy who doesn't deserve to be biting rats and necks it's him!"

Harlow watched this play out with a smirk. It was as good as the cinema! The theatre! Television even!

"Look at the windows of the subway!" said Benny, steading himself as the subway now pulled out of St. Clair.

St. Clair Station had seen a few passengers arrive and exit, but no one to the last car. But as the train reentered the tunnel, the lights in the car reflected on the windows. The windows were as good as a mirror! Rory couldn't but help but nod at the blond teenager in the reflection, the tall dark haired teen restraining him, and the shorter dark haired Ethan with his eyes all yellow. The three of them were perfectly and normally reflected. Ethan wasn't a vampire!

To Benny's relief, Rory stopped struggling. It had been like a tug-of-war with Rory, and Benny was losing in spite his greater size.

"Buddy" said Benny. "It won't help Ethan, and we'll just get ourselves killed. It might _even_ be like a magnet and nails . . . if you grab Ethan you'll also be under . . . _vampire hypnotism_."

Benny still didn't like the term "glamouring", besides he knew the phrase "vampire hypnotism" infuriated Harlow! Sure enough . . . .

"Glamouring!" insisted Harlow. "Before you die, you should get it right! You can practice saying "glamouring" as you watch me drain your friend. I've been watching you spell-master! You are young. Your fatigue is present on your face. It seems as if, with that fireball, you've squandered the last of your meagre powers! For the present, and forever. I shan't need Ethan as a hostage as I had told him was my intention. Is that not a fact, Ethan?"

"Yes, Master" said Ethan, in his own voice but with an enunciation more like Harlow's than his own. "I don't see any need to keep me as a hostage. Benny's wizardly abilities are meagre at best . . . ."

"They didn't get me hypnotised" Benny retorted.

"Never mind these traitors to the vampire council" said Ethan. "You can take my life to properly nourish you after your recent travails."

" _Nourish you after your recent travails?_ " said Benny and Rory disgustedly, as if the phrase alone was going to make them puke.

All reflections disappeared as the train again went above ground into the open air.

"Maybe we can tackle him?" Benny muttered to Rory. "Like they do in football?"

"Okay" said Rory gamely, although he probably knew more about the surface of Mars than football.

"I _can_ hear you" smirked Harlow, as he drew his fangs. "Oh, this is excellent. To have you watch your friend die!"

It didn't matter that Harlow heard. Benny and Rory still tried to rush Harlow . . . but the vamp simply and shamelessly stepped behind Ethan. Benny and Rory stopped short to avoid running into their friend and Harlow's human shield. The two were knocked to the floor as the train, at that very moment, slowed down and halted at the open-air Davisville Station.

This station was empty of passengers, so the train went on again in a matter of seconds.

Harlow had been about to bite Ethan's wrist . . . after twisting Ethan's arm almost to the breaking point. But, at the last moment, Harlow didn't make the bite. Rory guessed that Harlow was steadying himself as the train accelerated. Benny, however, realized the truth.

* * *

Without Ethan to depend on, Benny was forced to use his own highly analytical mind. As Benny said, he was nearly at Ethan's level . . . when he felt like it. After all, no ordinary Grade 10 high school student could do Calculus and do it well! In Ontario, Calculus was a _Grade 12_ subject, and Benny had known it back when he was only a newb in the ninth grade.

Harlow's vampire-hypnosis did the job, but really . . . it sucked! Compared to Harlow's, Anastasia's hypnosis was really "a thing of beauty". That un-dead little girl had been able to force Rory and Erica to accompanying her on "lucifractor night", without looking in their eyes or giving them the personality of dry paint.

As for Jesse, his mind-control wasn't as good as Anastasia's. . . but he had gotten Erica to do his dirty work without much trouble.

But Harlow's victims acted like puppets. That was how the bikini beach babes were! Even that security guard at the _Air Canada Centre_ had to be carefully instructed as to _how_ to lure the three into Harlow's _first_ trap! Just listening to Ethan act as the mouthpiece for Harlow's thoughts proved how rotten Harlow's "glamour" really was!

So, Harlow's hypnosis sucked? Big deal. It worked. But why didn't Harlow bite Ethan? Was he just playing the Bond villain again? Desperate for a painful, weird way of murdering Benny's best friend? No, that wasn't it _this time_.

* * *

"Ethan took control of Harlow's mind, only _afterwards_ did Harlow take control of Ethan" said Benny. "It's like vampire mind control and seer mind control all blended together. It's sort of if Harlow's brain is a satellite receiver. But the signal's looped through a DVD recorder, which is Ethan's brain. Then the cable from Harlow's brain and Ethan's brain is looped into the T.V. and only after carrying the signal from Harlow's brain."

"I get it, but that's real gross" said Rory horrified. "It's like the dark version of a _Vulcan_ mind meld. Or as if Ethan's been assimilated by the _Borg_.

"It's enough to make me puke" said Benny, who in fact looked green again. "But Ethan hasn't been assimilated yet. Harlow's able to use Ethan and his powers like a puppet, but he can't really get into his brain and everything he knows . . .or even really hurt him! It means that as long as they're _stuck_ , Harlow can't kill Ethan with his fangs. Some sort of mental _block_."

"Awesome, I guess" said Rory, uncertainly. "Hold in there, Ethan, dude!"

* * *

Harlow was taken aback by Benny's discovery. He was infuriated that the precocious youths, even without their leader, had understood what happened! The bottom line was that Harlow's ability to kill Ethan was practically nil, by himself. Harlow could, of course, kill the other two. And he would, if they tried to run! _But Harlow had a much better idea!_ How fortune was finally favouring him!

* * *

"Let's sit down through Eglinton" Harlow suggested with a leer. "This might well be time for a truce .. . you'll accept it if you want to live a while longer."

Harlow and Ethan sat down on a pair of seats facing across the aisle..

Benny and Rory looked reluctant, but they sat down opposite as they couldn't do much else. The youths were trapped in the car, had no magic, and Harlow had Ethan at his command.

The Eglinton Station was indoors, and featured a single middle platform. It had been the end of the line in 1954 and was still one of the busier stops. Harlow, obviously, didn't want to be disturbed by any "fellow passengers" so he looked as nonchalant as he could in armour and with a pair of glowing yellow eyes.

Benny and Rory looked daggers at Harlow.

A few young men and women, worse for wear, stumbled into the train. These newcomers started at the site of the man in armour with glowing yellow eyes and fangs. The teenage boy beside him, also with yellow eyes. And the two other teenage boys, managing to look extremely tired, extremely angry and extremely fearful . . . all at once.

The group also noticed the missing door at the back of the car.

The newcomers rushed out again before the train started.

"What a bunch of fracking cowards" Benny muttered.

"They have the sense to show the proper respect for a vampire councillor" said Harlow wryly. "And now as for what I'll do with Benny and Ethan . . . or should I say Damon and Pythius?"

"Huh?" said Benny.

"As Anastasia observed, what is education is coming to these days!" scoffed Harlow. "Nobody studies the classics! Even Colby knew of Damon and Pythius . . . the Ancient Greek model of best friends. Well, never mind them. It is not part of the myth, but it would be interesting to see _you two_ fight to the death . . .with Rory, your treacherous ex-vampire friend thrown into the melee?"

"No way!" said Benny and Rory.

"It would be great fun" said the mesmerized Ethan.

"It certainly would, Ethan, my boy" said Harlow condescendingly. "And there would be blood! Plenty of it"

If to demonstrate, Ethan jumped up and tried to throttle Benny while kicking Rory repeatedly on the shin. In spite of being geeks. the three ended up in a donnybrook on the floor, all the way to Lawrence Station.

"Warp 10 butt-head" said Rory angrily.

"Galactic Stormtrooper!" said Benny.

The insults were aimed at Harlow, not Ethan.

* * *

Benny and Rory, combined, were finally able to restrain the struggling Ethan. Ethan had only once won a fight against Benny and now it was two on one, even if Rory wasn't much of a fighter. Yet, Benny and Rory were be able to hold Ethan . . . and they weren't hypnotized by the contact.

Sadly, in the blink of an eye, Harlow recovered Ethan and again placed him on the seat aside him.

Benny and Rory climbed awkwardly back into their own chairs as the train again came to a halt.

Lawrence Station had a central platform and was the deepest on the line, being a good four-stories down. From here, the track descended as it prepared to travel underground to the York Mills Station situated below a small valley called Hogg's Hollow.

"Travellers headed toward Union" said the driver, over the loudspeaker, and still altogether ignorant of what was going on in the back of his train, "will be required to take a bus at Eglinton to Eglinton West Station due to a track closure at Rosedale. Alternatively, they may ride this train to Sheppard-Young and take a bus to Downsview or Wilson."

"This was just a premier" said Harlow, after the interruption.

"What other line's closed?" asked Rory.

"I mean your fight with Ethan's just a premier, not the engineer's announcement!" Harlow said impatiently. "We shall break into a knifemakers' shop . . . or its modern equivillant . . . and I watch you three kill one another in open combat."

"It's the _Star Trek_ episode where Kirk and Spock are gladiators! groaned Benny.

"On that Roman Empire planet" Rory put in. " _Bread and Circuses_. Season 2, Episode 25. Dude, you can't do that!"

"I can and I will" said Harlow. "Is that not so, Ethan!"

"I'm eager to fight Benny and Rory to the death" said Ethan. "That is the Roman punishment for traitors!"

"We can't leave Ethan . . . we can't escape . . . we can't help Ethan escape . . . Benny, dude" said Rory desperately. "What's there left!"

"You should have thought of that before you defied the vampire council and had the colossal arrogance to expel the immortals from Whitechapel" said Harlow, as the subway train again began.

Oh, how Harlow enjoyed having Ethan as his puppet! How he loved seeing Ethan's friends so desperate! Harlow was atop the world, he was invincible . . . as an immortal should be!

"Vampire council crap all the time" muttered Benny. "We're Canadians, not vampire-council-lians. He thinks being a bloodsucker makes him the boss. Naa, the fracking jerk thinks being a bloodsucker makes him at least the prime minister, maybe even . . . ."

* * *

For a second, Benny's eyes bugged out and lit up in his shock! At that moment, a plan, a _brilliant_ idea came together in his mind. The idea assembled like a jigsaw puzzle, coming together perfectly, almost mathematically one might say. The events of the last half-hour reminded Benny of all he knew about bloodsuckers, about Harlow, and how Harlow would arrogantly cross a bar unholy leeches like him had no right to cross.

Even if Benny warned Harlow not to cross that line . . . and Benny realized he had to if he didn't want Rory and himself to be guilty of a serious sin . . . Harlow would still cross that line.

Benny wasn't thinking about _that other line_ Harlow said he wouldn't cross, that of turning an unwilling victim into a vampire. No, Benny was thinking about a line the arrogant Harlow would stomp across with no regrets . . . until it was too late. Harlow's appeal to vampire tradition and vampire councils and all the vampire _fubercarb_ in the world couldn't make evil prevail against good.

* * *

"How would you like the knives in the house we're staying at?" said Benny. "The house is on Cadillac Avenue, very near the Wilson Subway Station."

"Dude!" said Rory, who couldn't believe his ears, tired as he was. "You're going to let Harlow get your gra . . . ."

Benny slapped his hand over Rory's mouth. Telling Harlow about his family wasn't in the plan! Rory was furious and struggled to pull off Benny's hand. But Rory soon relaxed as he realized that Benny had a plan that _didn't_ involve handling over his family to Harlow.

"You have something up your sleeves" said Harlow, with a glance at Benny's striped short sleeved shirt. "That is, so to speak."

"Harlow, Head of the Toronto Vampire Council, will still be My Master, even when I'm in your Toronto home" Ethan recited obediently. "It matters not if Harlow cannot physically enter, or use his glamour on me to have me personally invite him in your residence."

Rory, wracking his brains, remembered the _Mezuzah_ on Benny's grandmother's door. It would have barred his entrance if Rory had still been a vampire, and exposed him fanged and yellow-eyed outside the door! If an evil creature, no matter how friendly he wanted to be, couldn't get past . . . then maybe their powers couldn't either? Maybe that blessing on the house would free Ethan from Harlow's vampire-hypnotism?

But this wasn't Benny's plan. Well, to be precise, it was _only_ a backup. Benny wasn't interested in leading the vampires to his Grandma Irene's house unless he needed to in order to save their lives (in which case, he felt his grandma would have reluctantly agreed . . . that is, if she knew vampires existed).

"Specifically invite me inside your house right now" said Harlow. "Then you may escort me to your door. I have Ethan, I have you two, I have all the cards. It's far more convenient for me if I were to have a house, any house, rather than be in this vagabond position in which I find myself."

Harlow snapped his fingers.

"There can't be anybody to fear at your house" said Ethan, laughing cruelly, "Whosoever it belongs to! If there was, Harlow would have ran into that whosoever during the night as they attempted to rescue you from your fate! So invite Harlow in right now, and he'll give you your _temporary_ reprieve. But just to be sure . . . Harlow wants to know the whosoevers we've been staying with!

Rory looked glumly at Benny. Would Benny give the invitation? Would he reveal the fact Benny's Mom and Grandma lived there?

"You're invited into my Mom and my Grandma's house . . . Harlow!" said Benny with a grimace.

Alhough this was just for show . . . it hurt!

"Very well" said Harlow, with a smirk. "The next station is York Mills. We four shall leave the train together. You two shall have a painfully long walk before you die."

"I love walks!" said Ethan.

"Why can't we take the Sheppard bus?" Rory objected. "Like the driver said?"

"You're not going to dodge us on the bus" Ethan replied with contempt.

* * *

The strange group left the subway at the green-panelled and very deep York Mills Station, with its deserted central platform. The four rode out of the station by way of elevator and began a long, long walk westwards.

The time was four-thirty in the morning. It was a crazy little procession that made its way along the sidewalk. Harlow in his seventeenth century gear from the English Civil War, all topped off by a metal helmet. Yellow eyes aglow. Then Benny, who was uncharacteristically silent as he was on the lookout for a _landmark_. Followed by Rory, yawning, wishing fervently that vampires actually _did_ sleep in their coffins during the day. How much easier everything would have been! Finally Ethan, whose tired eyes were reflecting a yellow glow, and face displayed a rictus grin as he walked jauntily along deep in his trance.

And Ethan was babbling so much he finally drove _Rory_ out of his mind!

"Man, will you quit saying how awesome Harlow and the bloodsuckers are!" said Rory.

"He can't help being impressed by my majesty and that of a council of immortals" said Harlow.

"Because he's under _vampire-hypnosis_ " muttered Benny, although he cringed back when Harlow sprung at him with fangs-out.

"Never use that phrase again, or I will dispose of you right here and now!" ordered Harlow.

* * *

Near five o'clock, Benny finally found what he was looking for. The synagogue that his grandmother and mother attended. It was on the south side of Wilson Avenue, _their side_. To the east of the synagogue was a simple asphalt driveway leading to the parking lot in back. But Benny remembered the inside layout of the place-of-worship.

Benny gestured to Rory that they should run down that driveway. Rory, naturally, didn't understand and looked confused. Benny was briefly at a loss, as he couldn't say a thing without Harlow catching on. Then, without ceremony, Benny pulled Rory by the arm.

"MOVE!" yelled Benny, already running.

That driveway was low, and was covered by water that was still draining into a grate. So there was a lot of splashing by the two.

Harlow and the mesmerized Ethan halted, and in unison turned their heads to look severely toward Benny and Rory.

Benny had pulled Rory up to the brick wall on to east side of the building, at about its midway point.

"Did you think you can run away?" asked Harlow. "Especially as you stand there, halted a mere couple dozen paces down the lane?"

"Harlow, dude" said Benny, earnestly. "You can't come here! This is a synagogue, you haven't that right."

"A Hebrew synagogue" said Harlow in a very condescending voice. "Interesting. I suppose you are a Hebrew, given your attempt to foil me this way?"

"Jewish on my mom's side" said Benny. "And proud of it, jerk."

Harlow and Ethan laughed.

"You should know from your escapades with Jesse" said Harlow, "that, leastways in Canada, there is no truth to the idea of sacred ground outside either place-of-worship or place-of-burial."

"You'll be destroyed if you come any closer" warned Benny.

Harlow and Ethan laughed mockingly once more, before strolling casually toward Benny and Rory.

"Rory, pal, just stay against the wall" Benny advised, as Rory was starting to look frightened.

A few steps away from the wall, Ethan's eyes stopped glowing. Ethan frantically hit his ears as if several dozen worms were about to fall out of them.

In a quick move, Benny and Rory pulled the un-hypnotized Ethan between them.

As for Harlow, he was suddenly frozen in mid-stride.

"What is going on?" said Harlow fearfully. "I've never been held like this! Is this some sort of spell!"

"No" said Benny, in a matter-of-fact tone that was more typical of Ethan than him. "In a synagogue, the torah scrolls are kept in the cabinet or compartment . . . called the ark . . . on the Eastern Wall. We're along the middle of that wall. Those scrolls are the first five books of the bible, piously copied by hand in their original Hebrew by a dedicated and very orthodox scribe.

"Harlow has no right to approach anything that holy, even if a brick wall is between him and the ark" said Ethan, adding. "I'm okay. I could see what was going on the whole time. I just couldn't do . . . anything."

"I'm not okay" exclaimed Harlow, still struggling to move.

Ethan, Benny and Rory looked at Harlow wide-eyed, their now powerless tormentor.

"Harlow's . . . _only_ . . . a vampire" said Rory, in awe. "Even an . . . an . . . ant has more right here than he does."

"In the end, he's . . . _only_ a vampire" said Ethan.

Harlow couldn't move a muscle. For a few seconds, Benny, Rory and Ethan thought Harlow would just stay there, immobile. But as they watched, Harlow was destroyed. He didn't so much as burn up, as Benny had once mentioned would be a vampire's fate who dared come too close to the torah scrolls. Harlow seemed to fade into thin air, leaving his stolen armour to fall into the puddle below. As the trio looked on, some mud and dirt flowed alongside the top of the puddle, downward to the grate and into the storm sewer. That was all that was left of the proud member of the vampire council.

* * *

Not being able to return Harlow's stolen clothes themselves, without a lot of explanation, Ethan, Benny and Rory set it down neatly on the pavement beside a mailbox.

"It's a lot like _Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark_ " Ethan observed quietly, as he placed the helmet atop the folded clothes.

"Yeah" said Benny. "But no ordinary person has a right to go near something that holy, and we're not even talking about being stupid enough to open The Ark of the Covenant."

"Let alone Nazis" added Ethan.

"But vampires are unholy, so, uh, anything really holy will kill them" said Rory, with a shrug.

"Yeah" said Ethan, clapping him on his shoulder. "And that's why we're glad you're not a vampire. And . . . ."

"And let's not forget Sarah" said the three in unison, joining together in a group high-five.

With the vampires gone, the three only had to hope how they'd stay out of trouble for the night's adventures. In a way, this was a formidable prospect, as Benny's mother was now watching like a sentinel for her AWOL son and his friends . . . .

* * *

 **Author's Notes**

Only four chapters to go as the three try to stay out of trouble after their night's adventures.

The manner of Harlow's death was inspired by Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark.


	31. Benny and His Mother

**Benny and His Mother**

Walking that last block before Irene Fishbine's house, Ethan concluded _he had_ to apologize to Benny and Rory. At first Ethan wasn't really going to go through with it . . . it wasn't _really_ his fault! But Ethan had spent a half-an-hour numbly looking through yellow-tinted eyeballs as he mocked his friends, clobbered Rory and tried to choke Benny! Ethan thought he had to say something!

But neither Benny nor Rory would hear of it!

"Dude!" said Benny, with a grin. "I nearly blasted you and Sarah on Lucifractor night, when Stern hypnotized me into throwing fireballs at you. It's all part of being on a monster-hunting team!"

"Yeah, an apology is totally bogus" said Rory, reassuring Ethan. "Remember when I was possessed by that evil tree . . . you know, the one that put that creepy screen-saver on the school computers!"

"Rory, after being captured and possessed by a haunted tree, you're the only one I know who'd sound off about the tree's choice of screen-saver!" joked Ethan. "But thanks! It's not every day that you're glamoured into attacking your friends."

"Only after trying to save us with your super-duper seer powers" Rory put in.

"Well, maybe you do owe me an apology" said Benny wryly. "Not for trying to choke the life out of me, but because I had to be _Ultra-Serious Benny_ for a half-hour. I usually leave _ultra-serious_ to you!"

"Says the Benny who thought ahead enough to have loaded water guns around our homes in case of vampire attack" Ethan retorted, to Rory's amusement (it was new to him!).

"Maybe I get it from my mom" said Benny with a shrug. "Mom's always . . . ."

"Mom's always _WHAT_!" said Rachel Fishbine.

The three teens had walked around the corner and right into the view of Rachel Fishbine. Benny's mother was impatiently sitting upon a lawn chair in front of the bungalow. It was now about five o'clock. The first light of dawn had just appeared, turning the dark sky a slightly less dark shade of navy blue. But this was enough for Benny's mother to see her joking son and his friends. And it was enough for Benny to see his mother meant business.

Rachel Fishbine didn't have magic, but like many _ordinarily_ quiet people she had an explosive temper when pressed too far. Her sixteen-year-old son staying out all night without explanation was such an occasion.

 _If_ Benny had planned things out, he would have told his friends to approach the house quietly, slouching, as if they were very ashamed to have stayed out all night. Definitely not appear laughing and grinning, as if they had just "pulled-one-over" on his mother and grandmother.

"This is what I get, Benny" said Rachel, who was angry _and hurt_ , as she felt betrayed, "for letting you and your friends run about the city every day! Only asking you to come home at a decent hour and spend a _little_ time with your mother and grandmother! And today, I let you loose downtown past midnight. But even that's not good enough for you! You have to worry me to death, and your poor old grandmother was so upset she had to take her medication to get to sleep! I don't know what I was doing _trusting_ you. I thought you were a responsible young man. Obviously, I was wrong!"

Benny did the worst possible thing. He tried to joke.

"Mom, you sound like you personally shut down Toronto every night at sundown" Benny tried.

What followed was a hard stare from his usually mild-mannered mother that put Ethan's "shooting-imaginary-lasers-from-my-eyes" glare to shame.

Of course, by long-standing tradition, a guy's friends can't interfere when their friend is being chewed-out by their mother. Ethan realized that . . . even Rory knew that! Anything said would just make things worse.

" _What were you doing, Benny!_ " asked his mother.

Ill tempered, she pulled Benny by his left ear.

"Not you too, Mom!" Benny protested.

Ethan wondered how Benny's ear had never yet been pulled off. Rory wondered why Benny's ears hadn't been stretched by now to at least a foot long.

"Mom, do you _really_ want to know?" Benny offered.

There were three reasons Benny decided to tell his mother the truth. First, was his ear. Second, and more importantly, being called irresponsible after multiple battles-to-the-death with vicious bloodsuckers was _really, really_ insulting. But last, and most importantly, when your enemy destroys himself by approaching a sacred object, that's not something you lie about.

At first, Rachel Fishbine demanded corroborating details from Ethan and Rory as Benny related the story of how they initially ran into the vampires on the beach. Her questions became less and less frequent as she sat on the lawn chair with a pinched and extremely pale face.

Rachel realized the story couldn't be but true. The three youths' stories corresponded as well as she could expect given the circumstances. Benny was frequently trying to minimize what the three had done; he knew the supernatural worried her! Rory acted like an excited ringside announcer, advertizing the awesome feats of Team Sabre temporarily minus Sarah. Ethan gave the story matter-of-factly, but she could see the look of excitement in his tired eyes as he too was proud of their role in the destruction of the bloodsuckers.

But what could a mother do or say when she heard her son was bounced along a thousand feet in the air by an angry vampire? Menaced by a swordsman? Nearly tortured and killed multiple times in the past few days? Facing a hundred angry ghosts and four confused ghouls (the term "ghoul" also took her aback, as she first thought they had fought grave-robbers). A story of brainwashing and mind control and gladiatorial combat?

At one point, she was silently fuming that this _supposedly_ was what her ex-mother-in-law considered appropriate for her son! But by end of their story, she softened her views. It was plainly good versus evil.

"I take it back" she said, in a tone as dignified as possible. "What you've done tonight for so many people . . . living and dead . . . can't begin to be appreciated. You've . . . destroyed an cancer on this city. There's a reason you three just happened on the beach when those . . . _things_ . . . were there."

Well, she gave in and hugged and kissed Benny . . . in front of Ethan and Rory.

"Mom!" Benny objected, blushing.

Ethan and Rory were hugged next, unwillingly but they let it slide.

Benny's Grandmother Irene opened the door. In her reading spectacles, and sporting her golden-flowered housecoat and cap she looked disdainfully down at the small group.

" _Nu?_ They stay out all night and you're already showering them with your affections? Couldn't you do a bit of yelling?"

"We said we were sorry, Grandma" Benny explained. "And Mom did _a lot_ of yelling."

"It's all right, Mother" Benny's own mother said. "We've come to an understanding."

"The boys will be boys thing, I suppose" said Benny's grandmother skeptically. "I suppose growing up in a small town they _just_ spend one night wandering the bid city. I guess Toronto is nothing like Whitechapel."

"The last few days Toronto was every bit like Whitechapel . . . _used to be_ " observed Ethan wryly, to laughter from his friends and even Benny's mother.

* * *

Irene Fishbine thought the notion of "boys will be boys" to be a horrible idea. Although she herself had been the one to bring that cliche up, she railed against that notion to Rory, Ethan and Benny as she fed them large helpings of _Cream of Wheat_ followed by hot chocolate with marshmallows. Irene Fishbine, knowing well that her supply of marshmallows seemed to vanish whenever Benny was in the house, had prudently stashed them in them in her wardrobe.

* * *

After Ethan and Rory went to bed, Rachel took Benny into her late father's office to have a few private words with him on the old sofa.

"I guess Grandma wasn't so angry" Benny observed. "She did give us breakfast."

"No, that was what you'd call in comics . . . a secret test of character" Rachel replied with amusement.

"What do you mean?" yawned Benny. "Don't tell me that Grandma put a spell on the cinnamon?"

"No, but she used that same trick on your uncle if he stayed out late" explained Rachel with a smile. "If you had been doing something you're not allowed to do . . . like drinking . . . _Cream of Wheat_ and hot chocolate would be . . . ."

"Harsh!" said Benny, realizing what she meant.

"I think you've thrown up enough for one year" Benny's mother concluded. "Well, I guess you're an expert monster-hunter now?"

"Team Sabre's _the_ expert monster-hunters!" said Benny.

"Well, to tell you the truth I've always been skeptical about the entire business" said Rachel.

"I know! I mean, at least I've known since about the time _I_ was told about the spellmaster stuff."

"But I guess if you want to be a paranormal investigator, there's no one better for it than you."

"No, Mom" said Benny, with another a yawn. "I want to be one, yeah. But . . . you know . . . after the last couple days, I think Ethan has the right idea. A dude can't spend his entire life with vampires, ghosts, goblins, sasquatches or sirens. I like part-time paranormal investigator. It's like Grandma Evelyn says . . . . magic shouldn't be my _entire_ life . . . you really miss out that way, and not only on the real cool sci-fi stuff. And you know, Mom? If I go on to university, the last thing I want is some useless degree in para-psychology . . . as cool as it would sound."

"Who offers it?" asked Rachel.

"I don't know" Benny shrugged. "But that's what the _Ghostbusters_ are doing at the start of the movie. They get fired right away, and the job only ever got Venkman the babes and it definitely didn't get any of them the bucks. But I think I'll go for math prof, famous software engineer, something along those lines. Way cooler . . . and, you know, when a Spellmaster busts monsters . . . it isn't something you _should_ really charge for. It's like you're a firefighter or a cop rescuing someone, only from _supernatural evildoers_."

"And I don't think anyone at a university can teach you anything your Grandmother Evelyn doesn't know" Rachel observed.

"Mom" said Benny, "you mind if I go to your synagogue with you on Saturday?"

"Of course I wouldn't mind" said Rachel. "I'd love it, you know guests are always welcome at our synagogue. But your father and I agreed to raise you in his faith."

"Us three'll guys will probably be going to church too, this Sunday" Benny pointed out. "Even if I wasn't thinking of it, Rory would really want to. Mom, would you believe when Rory was a vampire, almost the first thing he said after being turned into a bloodsucker was he had to go to church? Rory didn't even know that much about about vamps?"

Rachel had enough of vampirism, so she changed the topic as abruptly and awkwardly as Ethan might have under the same circumstances.

"Would you believe I had thought you ran off because of my remarrying?"

"No, Mom" Benny replied, rubbing his tired eyes. "I wouldn't. It's perfectly cool like I told you. I mean, I thought about my place in the family . . . ."

"No one can take your place" said Rachel firmly. "I hope you don't think I'm shutting you out of my life?"

"I _did_ " Benny admitted. "But I thought about, talked it over with Ethan, I realized everything's okay."

"I'm happy" said Rachel. "Maybe I'm just a _little_ disappointed you didn't talk about it to me."

"It's _really awkward_ Mom" said Benny, with a yawn and then a smirk. "Hey, Mom? Are you going to push me aside?"

"I understand" said Rachel, who smiled at Benny's joke. "I suppose I'm thankful you spared my feelings. Actually, I hoping you could meet Alex this afternoon. He had several hours off. But I guess given how tired you are. . . ."

Benny had mixed feelings. He had to meet the man (that is for more than a few seconds) sooner or later. Police inspector? Awesome. Mom's fiancé? Awkward, but . . . he wasn't going to let some truly-dead vamps derail any more of his mom's plans.

"Mom, you can't be serious!" Benny objected. "A few hours sleep, and I'll be at the top of my game."

"At the top of what game?" Rachel gently bantered.

"You know, Mom" Benny replied, with a yawn. "But think of it this way . . . if I postpone, I give the bloodsuckers one last victory?"

"Okay, Benny" said his mother. "We don't want that."

"Uh, Mom?" asked Benny, with yet another yawn.

"Yes?"

"You mind if I sleep here?"

"If you really want to . . . I suppose . . . ."

Benny had already stretched out on the sofa and fallen asleep.


	32. Return to Forbidden Planet

**Return to _Forbidden Planet_**

While Ethan, Benny and Rory had been setting their trap at the _Bank of Hamilton,_ visiting the _Hockey Hall of Fame_ and watching _Star Wars_ in the _IMAX_ theatre, Sarah had been having a relaxing day shopping, going to a restaurant and otherwise bonding with her mother. Erica had sent an email gently teasing her about it the night before, but Sarah knew that this was one thing her "BFF" wouldn't truly sneer at.

The summer before, when Sarah had ran off for weeks to comes to grips with being turned into a full-fledged vampire, her parents had been badly hurt. Of course, they had (fortunately) never known their only daughter had ever been a vampire, nor that she had even so much as dated one. But they did feel that Sarah had been depressed and, out of the blue, run away from home. As much as they were pleased for her return and their ability to put the event behind them, a year later it was still a confusing and hurtful memory.

Sarah could have blamed Jesse for the whole thing, and would probably be entirely be justified in so doing. It had been very difficult for Sarah to "accept" what she had then-thought to be an unalterable (and very unfair!) fate. _In part_ , Sarah did blame it on Jesse, and in recently mentioning it to Ethan he had heartily agreed. But Sarah had a "heart that was pure", she wasn't a Harlow who blamed everybody but herself for her mistakes . . . even when that blame was well deserved. As much as Sarah had seen on her unplanned world tour, she regretted her time running away for the hurt it caused those she left behind.

Well, that was water-under-the-bridge! Sarah now had a fine new photo album with her favourite photos from these last two _amazing_ months. And there was room in it for more photos from August! What photos were in there? Pictures of her in different places around town and beyond. Pictures with her parents, with Erica, with Jane, with Ethan's friends, even one with Evelyn Weir! Sarah didn't have a good picture of her with Ethan _alone_ in that book. Instead, she had that new photo with Ethan's arm around her set in a new silver picture frame upon the wall.

Sarah was admiring it the following day.

"I should have known something was strange about Jesse" she had thought to herself with a smile, "when the leader of the drama club always avoided having his picture taken!"

But Sarah couldn't explain the confusing photo and message she received from Rory about noon.

The photo was the one with Ethan, Benny, Rory and Colby's "friends" posing before the large house on fire deep in the background. The oddest thing, of course, was the fire. By checking the internet, Sarah discovered the Toronto home belonging to one Colby Flood IV had burnt down in Rosedale, after being struck by lightning in last night's storm. But why was the group posed in front of the burning house? And who were those four people? And that girl . . . why was she smiling at Ethan? No, Sarah wasn't going to be "crazy jealous" but . . . Looking at it closely, Sarah realized there was something strange about the clothes the girl and the young men were wearing. While Rory was as happy as Sarah was to be photograph- able again, she realized there was much more to the picture than Rory's garbled message suggested . . . .

 _"Look at this cool photo! Ethan will explain, but he's still sleeping off all the heck we've been through last night, especially the hypnotism. I've gotta do some stuff now!"_

Sure enough, Ethan soon sent an email asking if they could talk over their laptops. Sarah soon had a good view of Ethan, who although cheerful, had deep bags under his eyes.

"You look out of it. Was the _Single Tear_ concert that bad?" Sarah asked jokingly.

" _Single Tear_?" said Ethan, who looked surprised for a second, before laughing. "That's not it! Man, is it ever not it! You'll never believe what we went through! What would you say if I told you we faced off against an entire vampire council?"

"I'd say that wasn't funny" Sarah retorted.

"No" began Ethan, and Sarah could observe the enthusiasm in what in her view was his "sincere" brown eyes. "Really, what happened was that day we went to the beach . . . ."

While Ethan had told the story to Benny's mother matter-of-factly, to Sarah he was almost brimming over with enthusiasm. But this _angered_ Sarah, and it took a while for Ethan to realize this. In fairness, Sarah had held her temper as Ethan described the boys' misadventures on the beach, the Wilson Subway Station, and Ethan's vision of the bank robbery and a Toronto dominated by vampires. A _fter all, it was the spur of the moment, wasn't it?_ They couldn't have called for her help then! But when Ethan started to mention the three boys' plans for the bank . . . .

"What ever happened to Team Sabre?" Sarah said bitingly. "This official team name you and your geek squad cooked up now that we were all human again fighting monsters together? Do you think because I'm a girl I can't be an equal member? That I was only good un-dead!

"No, it's not that!" said Ethan, genuinely surprised.

"There's a reason why I'm taking karate" said Sarah emphatically. "And it's not so you can gape at me if you see me in a karate gi! You might be the chief planner of the group, but there's some things I contribute. Like common sense!"

"Common sense!" Ethan cried out. "I'm not Rory, I have plenty of common sense!"

"Common sense enough to play James Bond with three very hungry and angry vampires" Sarah scoffed. "It's lucky you three didn't have time to rent three tuxes."

"Bond doesn't wear his tux on the beach . . . well, not usually, only sometimes" Ethan pointed out.

"Bond also doesn't go undercover with Rory" Sarah pointed out. "Double-oh spies? Double nothings is more like it! Do you know what would happen if you drained an entire elephant?"

"Rory also pointed that out" Ethan said embarrassedly. "World's gassiest bloodsucker."

The two looked at one another. They saw the funny side of the adventure, and laughed, although Sarah usually thought humour of that sort was a "guy thing".

"Seriously Ethan, I think I can handle a stake or holy water as well as you three" said Sarah, who was no longer as angry but still offended. "I know you like your _Star Wars_ sabres, but I could have brought a water gun and I could have gone to our church and brought holy water too."

"It's not that" Ethan explained, almost begging. "It's not that we didn't need or want your help. We didn't want to bug you . . . to drag you out to Toronto. You've been having an awesome time . . . after all the vamps did to you . . . with Rory it was different, he didn't completely understand what had been done to until he was good and cured . . . with you, _for almost two years_ . . . ."

Sarah understood, and her anger and hurt washed away in an instant.

"You didn't want me to face any bloodsuckers" she said. "At least, not so soon."

Ethan nodded.

"So how did Team Sabre minus Sarah do it?" Sarah asked, now interested.

Sarah was more than interested, and frankly very amazed at Team Sabre's adventures. The failed trap at the bank, the attempted "splatting", the hippy's condo, "Flood Manor" (as Ethan called it), the ghosts, the ghouls, the subway, the lightning, glamouring or "vampire-hypnotism", and the end of Harlow as he arrogantly went where had no right to tread.

Ethan cheerfully asked what Sarah would have done differently about the vamps, she having more "common sense". Sarah noted that she _probably_ would have realized the trap set for them at the _Single Tear_ concert. Along with Rory, she would have been aware that vampires can't be electrocuted. From what Ethan told her, Sarah guessed that Laura, Tim, Arthur, or Sylvester would have stayed back long enough to help them find Harlow.

"Okay, I guess we do need your common sense" Ethan admitted. "We sometimes . . . ."

"Get carried away, in a geeky way" suggested Sarah with a shrug. "But that's just you Ethan. You wouldn't be Ethan if you didn't care so much about the things you like. That's what makes you such a . . . okay, really heroic."

"Heroic?" said Ethan.

"Don't get vain" joked Sarah. "But what else can you call killing three evil vampires and destroying their plans for taking over the city! And freeing over a hundred trapped people?"

"Well, spirits" said Ethan awkwardly, but then thinking about it . . . "But I guess it's the same really. Just . . . dead people."

Sarah looked at Ethan, awkwardly smiling in the screen. The truth was, as corny as it might have sounded, she wanted to hug him and kiss him. And the way he was looking at her . . . .

"I wonder if I could travel through the screen" said Ethan, well almost blurted.

"Aren't you afraid of breaking the laptop?" said Sarah. "What are you talking about?"

"No, a couple months ago, Jesse summoned me to the woods outside of town. I wonder if I could . . . visit you? It's teleportation like in _Star Trek_ with the transporter room. Well, actually I think Benny says that when it's done psychically it's called astral projection."

"Ethan, I love you" said Sarah with a slight smile, "but I don't think I want to be with your "astral projection". Won't it freak you out if we tried to kiss and you passed right through me?"

"I seemed solid at the time" Ethan objected.

"Meanwhile you were physically sitting right in front of me, with your eyes glazed over" Sarah replied sarcastically. "But forget _Star Trek_ and _Star Wars_ and _Battlestar Galactica_ . . . ."

" _Star Wars_ doesn't have teleportation" Ethan explained. "And in _Battlestar Galactica_ neither humans nor the cylons could . . . .

"Okay" said Sarah. "Just forget them for a second, if you can. But do you really want to send your projection here instead of you personally. And how about your control? Aren't you acting like the Krell in _Forbidden Planet_?"

"Point taken" Ethan agreed. "They destroyed themselves by trying to manifest themselves beyond their physical bodies. It . . . just seemed a good idea a moment ago. I guess I don't really like the idea of astral projecting everywhere. I'll wait for teleportation be invented, well unless I really need the astral projection for something. I have enough trouble controlling my seer visions and these teenage hormones are . . . _man, I didn't just say that out loud!_ "

Ethan turned beet red.

"I always knew that about you" Sarah said, amused. "Otherwise you wouldn't have tried sneaking into the girl's locker room or gone along with Benny and his love potion idea."

"I guess not" Ethan admitted, adding uncertainly, "But I guess it's sort of . . . funny now?"

"Except the love potion" said Sarah.

"No, we were real jerks to do that" Ethan admitted. "Besides . . . this is . . . _way better now_? The real thing?"

The two smiled broadly at one other. They then turned their talk to things far more interesting and enjoyable than bloodsuckers. It was only worth pointing out Ethan was ecstatic to see his picture hanging in Sarah's room. And that Sarah missed Ethan about as much as he missed her.

* * *

"Only" Sarah joked to Erica a few hours later, "I'm not going to settle for an astral projection or a teleportation."

Erica shrugged. Erica had been mulling over the destruction of the three vampires. At first she had been angry, b _ut since they had wanted to kill her as well_ . . . .

"With Ethan, you're likely to have as much fun with a copy than as the real thing" Erica observed saucily. "But . . . you can thank the nerd squad for vanquishing _those_ three. I know Harlow was on the council, but they had a sort of an attitude problem. The problem with _some_ vampires is that _they're so overbearing_. If they had acted more like the vampires in _Dusk_ you would never have believed there was anything wrong with being elevated to a higher level of being."

"A higher level of being?" said Sarah, "Have you been re-watching _Forbidden Planet_?"

"I mean being an immortal, not going past the bounds of your physical body" Erica replied testily. "In _Dusk_ , vampires don't push around mortals for the fun of it."

Sarah considered how much Erica had enjoyed pushing around people "for the fun of it" the last two years, and how Erica had been so distressed by being bullied herself for years before that. But did this mean, Erica's original, kinder personality was again starting to poke through? For the first time since Erica had become human again, Sarah thought she saw a breakthrough!

"It you're ever a bloodsucker again, Erica" Sarah observed. "You won't last as one."

"What do you mean?" Erica asked.

"You're too good a friend."

And Erica just didn't know how to take _that_.


	33. Smith and Jones

**Smith and Jones**

Rory awoke after Benny but an hour before Ethan. It had been the first time Rory had stayed up all night since his life had been properly restored. It felt awesome!

While Rory had initially been annoyed at all the time he had to spend sleeping after he was cured, he soon changed his mind. It got _really_ boring staying up almost all night, every night! Rory now realized why insomniacs bought sleeping pills! There were only so many movies you could watch while everybody else was asleep at two o'clock in the morning!

Besides, staying-up-all-night as a vampire was like winning a video game using cheat codes. It _felt_ weird. When a guy stays up all night he should feel tired by the end, not completely awake. And going to sleep may have lost Rory a lot of time, but it sure _felt_ good to rest and wake up yawning but wide awake and rested. The "Rorster" had always been a morning-person!

As it was noon, and he had been asleep for six hours, Rory tried to wake up Ethan. Ethan just muttered something Rory didn't catch and fell back asleep. Rory figured that being under a combination of vampire/seer hypnosis was "real gnarly", so he went to dress up, put in his contacts, and just-for-fun make faces at his reflection in the bathroom mirror.

After emailing out that photo to Sarah (and Benny and Ethan), Rory went upstairs to see if he could get some lunch. He ate a sandwich and had another earful from Irene about how upset she had been about the three. But she mentioned they were having a barbeque that evening, and offered to make sure Rory's steak had extra garlic on it. So Rory wondered how angry she could really be?

Rory picked up some garlic cloves, and remembered he had promised to call home. He duly did, telling his mother about the coolness of the _Single Tear_ concert and the _Star Wars_ movie the day before, without forgetting to mention the underground mall and the _Hockey Hall of Fame_. Rory desperately wanted to tell her about Team Sabre's _sheer awesomeness_ , but he knew he was now in Ethan's situation where he had to keep it concealed. Well, way better to _only_ hiding supernatural adventures than the fact you'd been turned into a monster!

When Mrs. Keaner asked her son about his asthma, Rory let slip though that he had lost his asthma inhaler (while he was being tossed about, sometime after entering Colby's musty attic). Rory's mother in turn demanded he go to the nearest drugstore to refill his prescription. Rory, so long as he had to make a boring trip to the drugstore, offered to pick up Mrs. Fishbine's sleeping pill prescriptions as well.

The only good thing about the trip was Rory considered had no longer had to wear sun-screen for normal, everyday things like walking a couple blocks to _Goldstein's_ , the small independent pharmacy on Sheppard Avenue where Mrs. Fishbine bought her medication.

Drug stores had always been the bane of Rory's existence. They were boring, the one he went to in Whitechapel was always busy, Rory had to wait a half-an-hour for his asthma prescription to be filled. Here was no different, as the prescription would need to be phoned in from Whitechapel. Even when a vampire, Rory had found himself forced to frequent the pharmacy. They were the only ones who sold 100 s.p.f. sunscreen, and never in very large amounts! And because Rory's parents never saw why their son needed anything more than the commonly used 50 s.p.f., and not so much of that, _Rory had to pay for it himself_. Man, did that ever suck!

But this store had a small waiting area and a television. Whoa, that was awesome! Rory had forgotten his earphones and couldn't listen to his music on his smartphone! But on closer look, it wasn't so awesome after all. The television was tuned to a local all news channel, and the remote control was nowhere to be found. After looking for a minute or so, Rory noticed the large sign under the television set. "Please Don't Change the Channel."

Rory felt that everybody would be grateful if he did. But without the control, he couldn't. As it was a couple people were talking about _Canadian politics_ on the show. If there was anything more boring than politics, Rory didn't want to know.

Rory tried out the blood pressure indicator. As a vampire, it had beeped and said error. It had been funny the very first time, but that got old fast. So Rory was happy that the computer read everything was a-ok. It was just he had _already tried it_ the last time, and it really wasn't that interesting.

Drugstores tended to invest in the most boring novels and the most boring magazines. Cooking, fitness, fashion and health. Yawn. This store at least had the recent edition of _Teen Aviation Monthly_ . . . but Rory already read it. As for the novels, they were all romances which bored Rory just by looking at the covers. Wouldn't it be awesome, though, if one of the romances had Rory on it, and those girls swooning over him?

What was that in the corner? Rory made a face. It was a couple of _Dusk_ novels. Rory had always hated those stupid bloodsucking romances. Even as a vampire, he had never liked them. But now . . . _those things were full of the worst fracking lies imaginable_. Sparkling vampires! Vampires just choosing not to live on blood, but carrot or vegetable juice! Nothing about the curse it put on your soul! And instead of "immortals" being the selfish, hungry guys that Rory knew dumped (or murdered) girls as soon as they were tired or finished with them, they were kind and romantic. The only "nice guy" vampire Rory ever knew had been . . . Rory.

Rory wasn't much for "introspection" outside of English class (only Ethan and Sarah did any of that!), but now, without anything else to do, he crossed his arms, stared absently at the offending books, and muttered to himself with almost-comically knitted brows.

"It's really weird. When Ethan and Benny told me everything about being a vamp, the whole truth, I got that I'd got a _real bogus_ deal. Being nothing more than blood-hungry, rat biting, and forever fourteen and not getting to all the _really_ good stuff in a real life like my pals. But it's that being evil is the real clincher? Why did it scare me more? Well, there's being turned unholy, that's real gnarly. Who wants to live like that? But after a long time, I could have turned out like the . . . rest of them. Like Jesse, his buddies, Anastasia, Harlow, Colby Flood? Man, being bloodthirsty and thinking human blood being real mouth-watering . . . it's gross now, but then there were a couple times I could have gone after someone . . . .even . . . even my own Mom! I get now why Ethan was all on edge when I joked about being a psycho and killing the families of the yearbook committee! That's what bloodsuckers do! But I wouldn't . . . . What it, but after I outlived my pals and everyone . . . maybe I could make new friends every century or so, but . . . I'd be alone with the vamps and they'd become my only real . . . and Jesse had me doing whatever he said the first week. I'm . . . real lucky the lucifractor exploded, that's all. It's like I was thinking, it's as if the Rorster being a bloodsucker never, ever happened. Like it was just a real interesting issue of a comic book! Yeah, like the Rorster said, some of Jimmy Olson's, Superman's Pal's weirder adventures . . . ."

Rory smiled broadly, but started as someone called his name.

" _Whazzzzzzzzzzzzzz up_!" said Rory, who, in a grateful mood, did it about the best he ever did.

" _Whazzzzzzz up_ , Rory" said Ethan, who couldn't do that as well as Rory nor Benny.

"I heard you were at the drugstore" Ethan explained. "I know how much you hate it, Rory, so after I decided to come too."

Rory mentioned to Ethan a new theory about _Dusk_ that had just popped into his head. That the writer was a vampire who wanted to spread lies about vampires to lure innocent girls into either wanting to become vampires or becoming duped victims.

"Ghost stories are written by real ghosts, and movies about pirates are written by real pirates" said Ethan wryly.

"Good one" laughed Rory.

"I don't know who she is" shrugged Ethan, "but she probably doesn't vamps even exist."

"I hope none go after her" Rory observed. "Even though her books are real stupid."

"I think the woman's safe" Ethan said. "If the vampires were angry about _Dusk_ , they'd have gone after her by now. Besides" Ethan added tongue-in-cheek, "if the bloodsuckers want to go after annoying celebrities, they ought to start with Justin Beiber."

Ethan and Rory shared a high five over that joke.

"Rory, after this, there's probably barely a vampire left in Canada" added Ethan seriously. "Even those bloodsucking nurses have been slowly working their way through the US."

"Awesome" Rory observed. "Is that a vision?"

"Just a guess" Ethan admitted. "Except for the nurses. I looked up where they were a couple months ago. In case I have to find them . . . .

Ethan trailed off awkwardly and Rory realized why.

"Dude, they're evil but they sure are hot" Rory put in, to change the subject. "But not as hot as the _Teen Aviatrix_ is. Did you see her bio on my copy?"

* * *

After Ethan and Rory again looked at the magazines, they sat down by the television set. Ethan, unlike Rory, _did_ read newspapers or newscasts sometimes, mostly online. For one thing, Ethan did report for the school paper. For another, Ethan thought it was interesting what _everyone else_ said about their adventures. Ethan mentioned this to Rory; Rory agreed to watch the headlines "at the top of the hour" once the boring political discussion was finally over.

The next hour of the news was handled by an anchorwoman and anchorman, named Penelope Smith and Mike Jones. Ethan, but not Rory, noticed they seemed to look at each other suspiciously, as if wary the other would steal their story.

Penelope Smith had the first story, about the storm the night before. A good deal of damage but nobody hurt, was her assessment. There were some great shots of power lines falling, tree limbs atop cars. As usual, a good thunderstorm in Toronto led to a lot of video of lightning striking the CN Tower multiple times.

"That was an electrifying report" joked Mike Jones.

"Who do you think you are with those lame one liners, James Bond?" snapped Penelope.

"Mike" cleared his throat, and described a murder that didn't have anything to do with the supernatural.

"There's more than one kind of evil" Ethan muttered to Rory, who nodded.

"Yeah, like those guys at the Flying Saucer" Rory replied. "Great thing they're still dripping worms! Man, I sort-of feel sorry for them. You know what it was like . . . and for me that wasn't even for an hour!"

Penelope Jones now described the attempted robbery of the _Bank of Hamilton_.

"Hey, look, that's us" said Rory, standing up. "Cool!"

"We need to get that on a flash drive" Ethan agreed. "Benny's going to love this!"

There was the footage of the bank, with the manager explaining to the assembled crowd there was nothing to fear when the vault door slammed closed without any explanation. Sure enough, Ethan and Rory could see the themselves . . . and Benny . . . in the group, trying to look as surprised as everyone else.

"A failed robbery yesterday evening, about the most unusual police have ever seen" explained the anchorwoman. "The vault at the _Bank of Hamilton_ was smashed open with great force, a steel rod used to destroy the safe door. To the surprise of investigators, nothing was stolen. A possible malfunction or hacking into bank security cameras is blamed for the failure to capture footage of the criminals. This footage from earlier in the day shows a scene where the bank door closed and locked without reason or explanation. As the vault door doesn't operate electronically, police don't believe there's any connection."

"That's dumb of them" said Rory.

"If they can't explain something, I don't know why they won't guess monsters are behind it" Ethan agreed, but on further thought added, "But, I guess, everybody has trouble with it. You, me, Benny."

Rory nodded, but stopped as the two saw footage of the fire.

"A five-alarm fire in Rosedale last night . . . ."

"Five alarm!" said Rory.

"It would have been awesome to see the whole thing" Ethan agreed.

"I wish I could have seen that!" echoed anchorman Mike Jones.

"Oh, grow up Mike!" the anchorwoman snapped at him. "A five alarm fire in Rosedale last night on 102 Primrose Path. The historic Flood House burned to the ground as a result of what was _Environment Canada_ has traced to a lightning strike hitting the roof."

"They can do that!" Rory said to Ethan. "They have maps that show where lightning strikes hit after each thunder storm. It's pretty cool."

Ethan nodded, and let Rory think he told Ethan something new. _Everyone knew that!_

"This security footage from a nearby house shows the strike."

It showed the very top of the cupola, and lightning bolt bearing down on Harlow. Fortunately, Harlow was invisible and Ethan was too low on the roof to be seen in the footage.

"Man, that was close" Ethan said.

"Due to quick work by Toronto firefighters, and the wetness of the area, the fire did not spread to the adjacent homes or the forested Don Valley" the anchorman Mike put in. "However, one is feared dead in the fire."

"The victim is Colby Flood IV" explained the anchorwoman, who had a photo of Colby that she didn't realize had been taken back in 1929. "He was believed to have travelled in his car from his condominium to the house last night. Investigators believe that freak winds in the storm last night overturned his car."

"Freak winds!" scoffed Ethan.

There was a brief shot of the smashed and overturned Cadillac surrounded by police and fire fighters. A quick glance showed it was flooded with water from either the rain or the fire hoses. No fingerprints!

"Colby Flood IV is the last of an old Toronto family, the Floods who had been wealthy stockbrokers in the nineteenth and early twentieth centuries" continued the anchorwoman. "In a society scandal, the first Colby Flood was found dead after being ruined in the Crash of '29. Colby Flood II managed to save his home and revive his fortune by means which financial historians are still at a loss to explain. Flood eventually moved and died abroad, his son returning some years later to Toronto and suspected to be involved in criminal activity. This was never proven. Colby IV brought a condominium several years ago, and continued to maintain his historical home."

"Dude, what's with all these Colbys?" asked Rory, who didn't think through the report. "I thought there was only one? I didn't know vampires could have kids?"

Ethan realized the import immediately.

"That's how he had a passport and all his papers" Ethan said, to Rory's confusion. "Rory, Colby pretended to be his own son and eventually his own grandson to hide the fact he couldn't age. He couldn't have people know he looked nineteen and was about a hundred years old."

Rory now understood and cringed.

"Man, that would suck" he said. "Having to pretend to be your own kid and your own kids kids and their kids and their kids kids . . . . hey, fracking awesome, it's Doug the Scare Finder.

"The first rule of totally awesome pranks" explained Doug, who was being interviewed in a news clip, "is . . . ."

"In a totally awesome prank, only a person's dignity gets hurt" Ethan and Rory chimed in, by rote.

"Burgling the _Royal Ontario_ _Museum_ . . . any museum . . . is definitely not a totally awesome prank" Doug explained. "You've got to have respect for historic artifacts."

"And it wasn't awesome" Mike Jones explained, "that a piece of Cavalier armour from the English Civil War was stolen last night. The sword was left at the Rosedale Subway Station while the remaining piece of armour was found next to a mailbox on Sheppard Avenue near the Wilson Heights Neighbourhood. But . . . ."

"That wasn't the only prank pulled near the subway" interjected Pamela Smith forcefully. "Storm damage is my story, Mike. Security cameras at the Rosedale station were destroyed, unfortunately footage last night was interrupted due to storm damage at the central security centre."

"That's lucky!" said Rory. "They might have thought we broke the cameras."

"We now go to entertainment" said the anchorwoman, "and coverage of the wildly successful _Single Tear_ concert at the _Air Canada Centre_ last night.

Ethan and Rory didn't hear what the anchorwoman said about the concert, as at that moment Rory's prescription . . . and that of Benny's grandmother . . . was finally filled.

* * *

On the way back, Ethan and Rory discussed Benny and his meeting with his future stepfather.

"Dude, maybe he'll take Benny on a police chase" suggested Rory, "there'll be a sudden call on the police radio, and they'll be off sirens going, lights flashing, at 180 km/hr through Toronto."

The sensible part of Ethan wanted to dismiss the notion as incredibly stupid. Alex Hartstein was off-duty. Even if there was a police chase, and Hartstein was needed, Benny would be left behind at the station. But the idea was too cool to dismiss out of hand!

 **To Be Concluded**


	34. Benny's Barbecue

**Benny's Barbecue**

Benny had been dropped off at the division police station by his grandmother. It was an open question whose handshake was the tougher, Benny's or Inspector Alexander Hartstein. Alex Hartstein had a stronger grip, but Benny's was the more energetic.

Benny thought he acted very cool when he was introduced to a couple cops on the way to Harstein's office as "Rachel Fishbine's son." But Benny wondered. Shouldn't Hartstein be calling him something like "future stepson?"

Yet, on the way to Hartstein's office, Benny was interrupted in his thoughts. Passing the desk of one Inspector Lyleson (a friend of Hartstein's, as he put up his hand in greeting), Benny saw the last two people he wanted to see here at the police department. That hippy and his wife talking . . . yelling . . . in an agitated tone.

Benny made sure to look the other way as he went into the station elevator with Hartstein. The elevator doors closed slowly, so he heard what the hippies said next:

"I swear, these vampires and werewolves were battling it out in our condo" said the hippy. "The vampires were trying to protect us, but the werewolves killed one of them."

The hippy's wife produced the remains of Colby V. Flood, the dust held inside a plastic sandwich bag.

"The werewolves cremated him?" asked Lyleson.

"No, vampires burn up and crumble when they're killed" insisted the hippy.

"The occult is out of my jurisdiction" said Lyleson evenly. "I need to send you to a specialist. We'll get a patrol car to take you to Dr. Purvis at headquarters."

"Who's Dr. Purvis?" asked Benny after the elevator doors finally closed and the machine clanked up.

For a moment, Benny thought there was a top-secret unit for dealing with the supernatural and assorted monsters! That was cool! But, man! Were they ever sleeping on the job!

"Dr. Purvis is a psychiatrist at the mental hospital" said Hartstein, casually. "Don't worry about those two, they'll be okay. They don't seem dangerous. They'll probably be given a sedative and released this afternoon; just like that actor Baddington, the one who starred in those brainless Dusk movies."

"I hate Dusk too" said Benny.

"Any woman who pines after sparkling vampires is nuts" Hartstein agreed.

* * *

Alex Hartstein had a small, cramped office with a good deal of files everywhere, a large window looking down to the busy street, and a framed degree or two on his small bit of empty wall space. Benny decided to make a joke.

"It's pretty cramped in here" Benny said with a grin. "But it must be an awesome place to sweat a perp!"

Benny realized his stepfather to be didn't laugh, but did attempt a smile which unfortunately looked rather weird on the man's thuggish face.

"Cops usually don't get great offices, Benny" Hartstein said, with more of a smirk than a grin. "In this station, only the captain has a better one. At any rate, I don't interview here. We "sweat the perps" in the interview room. It has to be on camera."

There was an awkward silence.

Hartstein didn't believe Benny meant to insult him. But _just_ meeting a sixteen-year-old future stepson had to be the most awkward and challenging thing a man ever had to face. So Hartstein decided to try a bit of self-deprecating humour.

"Do you know why I became a police office?" asked Hartstein.

"To fight crime?" replied Benny, as that was what first came in mind.

"That too" said Hartstein, but opened into a grin. "Ever since I was your age, people have been saying I looked like a hood" said Hartstein. "It isn't so bad now, but when I was twenty I really looked liked a criminal. That twisted smirk, the sallow expression. I wanted to prove them wrong . . . and I knew I couldn't get any other honest work."

"Dude, you can't be serious!" said Benny.

"Actually, my parents ran a small grocery store" Hartstein admitted. "They worked very hard to place my brother and me through school. But when I was eight, my father was robbed at gunpoint. The masked "perp" was never found . . . or at least never connected to that crime. It's hard to understand what that's like if you've never gone through it."

"Sort of like _Batman_ " said Benny approvingly. "Uh, except . . . ."

"Fortunately my father's okay" said Harstein. "But it's still something you remember."

"Whitechapel used to have a _serious_ crime problem, Inspector Hartstein" Benny said in what was the understatement of the century. "I know _all_ about it."

"I'm sure you do" said Hartstein, agreeably. "Just try to stay safe."

"I'm way ahead of you" said Benny confidently, before deciding to respectfully add, "Inspector Hartstein? Sir?"

"First thing, Benny, we'd better think up a better name for you to call me, than Inspector Hartstein, sir" joked Hartstein.

The two talked it over. "Inspector Hartstein" or "Mr. Hartstein" was too formal for either of them. Benny rejected Alex as _awkward_. Sure, it was common for stepkids to call their stepparents by their first name! And Benny wasn't much for formality! But Benny found it a little weird. The man was his Mom's fiancé! It was as if Benny was going "to hang out with him like he did with Ethan or Rory."

Alexander was too long; besides Hartstein claimed only _his_ mother called him that. "Dad" was definitely out, as Benny had a father.

Hartstein used this moment to interrupt with a carefully prepared speech. He told Benny he had no intention of replacing Benny' father. It was what Hartstein thought all stepfathers should say, and what seemed to be consistently recommended by everyone. Hartstein also mentioned that as Benny would be a grown man in a few years; Hartstein didn't think he'd ever be interfering much in his life and he just wanted the two to get along well. He'd be there for Benny if he ever wanted his advice, but that was up to Benny.

All this was, to Benny, encouraging, but Benny wasn't expecting that Hartstein would try to order him around. Benny joked that his stepfather-to-be, based on his delivery, must have had that speech rehearsed, and they both laughed about it.

The two chose "Stepdad". It didn't step on Benny's father's "prerogatives" (as Hartstein termed it), and it seemed natural to them both.

Hartstein then gave a present to Benny. A bound collection of comics concluding the storyline of the original _Battlestar Galactica_! Benny, who already had a set, was friendly enough to thank him anyway. It turned out that Hartstein had watched the show on ABC during its original run, back when he was a small kid. Benny and Hartstein were in agreement, it was a fracking crime the show was cancelled after one season because ABC wasn't willing to spend the money on the program! And it was the best _Battlestar Galactica_ series! And Canadian Lorne Green was awesome as Commander Adama!

This was more than Benny had hoped, as he knew from his mother that Hartstein, in spite of the having the thuggish-face, shared Rachel's "high-brow" interests instead of Benny's. So, Benny would always have something to say to the man.

With the two on good terms, and sharing a high-five on Benny's suggestion, Hartstein made his future stepson an offer. While in a Jewish wedding, the mother gives her daughter away, Hartstein was in need of a best man. Officially, a "Shomer", or the bridegroom's guard, but in practice the best man. Hartstein could use Lyleson on the force, or his brother Nate. But Hartstein figured his best bet was Benny; if Benny would take the job.

"Your mother and I are setting the date for December 28, in Jamaica" Hartstein explained. "We're going the destination-wedding route. Your mother's mentioned it to Evelyn, and she hasn't any problem with it. You can celebrate Christmas with the Weirs, and fly to the wedding from Detroit International. We'd like you there, if you can make it."

"Winter Vacation in Jamaica?" said Benny. "Stepdad, I'm there!"

* * *

That night, at the barbeque, Ethan had put together a new plan of attack.

Only this plan was for the next day, when Benny's mother and Hartstein were taking the teens to _Canada's Wonderland_. While Rory and Benny were for casually wandering around , Ethan was all for plotting.

If you didn't plan, you'd wait in line, according to Ethan. Ethan was all for riding the _Behemoth_ and the busiest coasters first thing in the morning, before the crowds.

"When the park gets crowded" Benny observed, pointing to the map, "We'll be at the _Splash Works_ the same time as the bikini beach babes.

"In the evening we'll hit the midway and try to win something for Sar . . . ." started Ethan.

"Dude, just say our girls" joked Benny. "We're sure to get dates."

Ethan passed the map to Rory. Ethan was hungry, he had missed lunch and he could smell the steaks and baked potatoes. Looking towards the barbecue, Ethan just hoped his food wouldn't burn. Benny's grandmother Irene and Alex Hartstein were having what they termed a "friendly disagreement" about the workings of the gas grill. Ethan thought Benny's mother, setting the patio table, was looking very bemused by the quarrel.

"Awesome battle plans" said Rory, looking at the chart. "It's just too bad we can't cross our light sabres and celebrate."

"We _can_ cross our sabres" said Benny, who had his backpack nearby. "Mom bought us new UV tanning bed lights. The retractable kind."

"Whoa!" said Rory. "Those are even better than the old ones. A higher UV rating."

"That's not all buddies" said Benny as the three installed the new bulbs into the handles. "Mom said it wasn't fair that we wasted at least three days on a busman's holiday."

"A _what_?" asked Rory.

"It means spending a vacation doing your usual work" Ethan explained, as he took a couple of practice swipes with his light sabre.

"Yeah, it was a _definitely_ busman's holiday" Rory agreed.

"Well dudes, Mom asked your parents if you could stay a few more days to make up for it . . . and it's a-go" said Benny. "The CNE . . . you know, the Canadian National Exhibition, will be open. And we can try the rides there, and we can sample the cool new foods . . . grilled butter, spaghetti doughnut balls, quadruple burgers with maple buns, and ultimate stuffed burritos."

"That'll be awesome" said Ethan. "Sarah and her family are going away that weekend anyways. Uh, well . . . ."

"Ethan, you seriously need to relax" Benny advised.

"Anyway . . . cool" Rory put in. "I hear grilled butter is awesome."

"Only don't tell Grandma about the food" Benny added. "She has a thing about any food she thinks is weird. It sets her off."

The steaks were well-done but not burnt. And Ethan was very satisfied with not only this food but the mid-high school victory lap as well. Evil was thwarted. Sarah thought Ethan had been "heroic". And with everything right in both their lives, Ethan would again be "canoodling" with his girlfriend in a couple weeks time. Until then, Ethan was going to have the _best vacation ever_ touring the city with his two best friends.

Life was awesome, and getting more awesome all the time.

 **THE END**

* * *

 **Author's Note**

Thanks to everybody who had read, favourited, or followed a 90,000 plus word story. I hope you've enjoyed it!

Special thanks to MBAV fan66 for her amazing chapter-by-chapter reviews!


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